Stars
by Janec Shannon
Summary: Alistair/F!Mage The story of the two remaining Grey Wardens and their journey to save Ferelden. Ch74: Kallia and Alistair have an interesting talk about fire and magic.
1. A Glimpse of the Skiy

Alistair sat by the fire staring into the dancing flames. It was their first night camping. Her first night since Ostagar, she'd been unconscious a day longer than he had after Flemeth had rescued them from the tower. She was handling the loss of the Grey Wardens much better than he was, of course she hadn't even known them for two days before they died.

Morrigan was somewhere beyond the light of the fire. He would have _liked _to think that she was giving them space to grieve but for some strange reason couldn't convince himself she could be that compassionate.

His only surviving companion (dare he call her friend?) sat across from him staring as well, though from his peripheral vision he could see she stared up at the stars, not down at the fire. He looked up at her, he'd only meant to take a quick glance but something on her face made him frown.

She was staring at the stars with a look of utter amazement. He couldn't stop himself from glancing up as well to see what had captured her attention but saw nothing out of the ordinary. The moon, the stars, a couple of clouds. Nothing she hadn't seen before undoubtedly.

Of course that thought brought back his Templar training and it was then he realized: she had grown up in the Tower of Magi and he had recalled her telling him she had just been out of her apprenticeship when she'd come with Duncan to become a Grey Warden. She had spoken very little of herself otherwise, not saying why she had chosen to leave the Tower or what her life there had been like or if she remembered her family.

It was only now that he realized that she most likely didn't. The way she stared at the stars indicated she had not been out much at night. The children's quarters in the Tower didn't have windows. It was too easy for the little ones to slip out unnoticed. The apprentice quarters had no windows either, by that age they know enough magic to actually cause some damage or escape if they really want to. Not that the Templars wouldn't be able to easily find them again but it was easier to not let them escape in the first place. No windows removed both the opportunity and the temptation. He knew little of the rest of the Tower, but he could only guess that few (if any) rooms had windows.

He personally hadn't really seen much of the actual Tower itself, but that didn't mean they hadn't explained everything to him. He should say something…

Something encouraging and eloquent…

Something that would never come out of his mouth normally…

"You look like you've never seen the stars before."

Something that wasn't going to come out of his mouth _now _either apparently.

Kallia's eyes dropped from the stars to his face. "I have. On the way to Ostagar." Alistair noted how she purposefully phrased that so it didn't mention Duncan. "Before that I'm sure I had… as a child, but if I did I was too young to remember it. I've read about the stars but never seen them before this last week that I can remember."

"I'm sorry," he answered quietly. Whether he was apologizing for bringing it up or because she'd never seen them before he wasn't sure but it just felt like the right thing to say. 'I'm sorry' usually ended up being the right thing to say when he opened his mouth. Particularly in the few instances he opened his mouth up at women.

"What for?" Kallia asked him with genuine surprise. "It's not like I knew what I was missing. The older kids would sometimes describe the stars to those who were too young to remember when they were brought in, like me, but… They were certainly hard to imagine. I suppose it's like the griffons that the legends say Grey Wardens used to ride on: we can imagine them, but nothing could ever compare to actually being in the presence of one. Besides, it's not like _you _were the one to put me in the Tower."

"Well, no but… Still, I am sorry."

She cocked her head to the side slightly and got an amused expression on her face. "If it will make you feel better I'll accept your apology though there is nothing to apologize _for_."

"I'm glad you're enjoying them, we're just lucky it's not going to rain tonight. Then you'd wish you had a tent to sleep in, when we get to Lothering we should make sure we buy tents."

"Oh I don't know, so far I haven't minded traveling without a tent and sleeping under the stars."

"Well, don't worry," he commented. "I can personally guarantee that you will want to see nothing but a ceiling when you sleep long before this is over." Kallia laughed, knowing that the jokes were just as much for his benefit as they were for hers.

Joking was not normally her style. She was blunt and to the point, not one for needless pleasantries, but she did enjoyed the way the miserable expression he'd been wearing since Ostagar melted off his face when he bantered with her. She was witty and picked up fast, even if some of her jokes seemed to fall completely flat. He seemed to find those just as funny for some reason... though she highly doubted it was the words he was laughing at.

"Is that so?" she questioned, hoping her tone was teasing, "I'm going to hold you to that then. When this is over if I still want to sleep under the stars, I'm blaming you."

They both pointedly ignored the _if we survive_ that was hanging in the air. He just didn't want to think about it, having lost almost everyone important to him in one day, and she was only minutely aware of the true danger. She'd fought one real battle and faced a few straggler darkspawn in the Wilds. Sure, in the one battle she'd fought she had been run through the chest with three arrows, but he knew that being hurt in battle was not enough for her to understand. That understanding came from fighting for your life for days on end and watching your companions do that same. From staying up until the wee hours of the morning on watch so you don't get killed in your sleep.

She didn't understand that the hazards they faced were not just the darkspawn. Weather could kill them just as easily as any sword or arrow, the difference being a sword or arrow would be quick. Infection, hunger, dehydration, there were so many things that could get them. He could tell by looking at her that this was a woman who'd never gone hungry, never had to stretch her food because there was only so much to go around.

At least she was sensible, he could do much worse for a companion. He'd never thought to _loot _the darkspawn he'd killed except when taking the new recruits out to get the blood (but that couldn't really be considered looting.. could it? If so it was pretty morbid looting...). He'd given her a hard time on their way up to light the beacon. She had been losing them more than he thought they could afford to by rooting through every crate, box, enemy packs, even the packs of their own fallen men and women. He was glad for it now though. Whatever they had looted that at the time had seemed useless, could now be sold to buy them food and other supplies. Although why darkspawn carried Fereldon currency around, he couldn't figure out. It wasn't like if one of them suddenly decided to walk into town and buy something, they could...

They were back to their original position he realized. Kallia had gone back to staring at the stars when they'd fallen into silence and he'd gone back to staring at the fire when he'd gotten lost in thought. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, she seemed to understand that he needed some time to himself, but considering the danger... silence was the best she could offer him.

"Was it at least a happy childhood? Growing up in the Tower?"

Her eyes dropped down to look at him again with a frown on her face. "What do you mean?"

"Oh come on, your childhood couldn't have been so miserable you don't even understand the meaning of 'happy'," he teased, though he did wonder. From what he'd been told of the Tower it was not a happy place for the children, particularly those brought in at older ages.

"No, that's not what I meant..." she started. Kallia looked at him for a minute, studying his face for something, he didn't know what but she must have found it because after a minute she sighed. "What do you want me to say? Life in the Tower was all sugar plums and roses? The Templars and mages were like the parents we never knew? We never wondered what life would be like if we didn't have our talent for magic? It wasn't, they weren't, and we did."

His face fell and she knew by the look on his face he was about to start apologizing again so she continued before he had the chance. It bothered her when he apologized. "My childhood was what it was. I was miserable and I was happy. I wanted to run as far and fast as I could and I never wanted to leave. Some of the kids were the biggest assholes you'll ever meet, some of them were the kindest, sweetest people you could imagine.

"The Templars would tell us stories at night before bed. Some of them did it to scare us. 'This is what an abomination is capable of. This is what _you're _capable of. This is what we'll do to you if you ever lose control.' Some of them told us the stories about chasing malificar simply because they had no other stories to tell.

"We were our own families because we had no one else. Maybe I would have been happier without the talent, maybe not. Some of the kids were saved from starvation because they had magic, others were ripped from loving homes, and still others were stripped of their titles and riches."

"Would you change it? If you could," he wondered outloud.

"The way children are treated at the Tower? I would if I could, but I can't so I don't really think about it."

"No, I meant your childhood. Would you change it?"

"I would not because I could not."

"But _if you could_ would you _want _to?"

Kallia inwardly congratulated herself on distracting him. He seemed hell-bent on getting a satisfactory answer from her and while he was trying to get it he wasn't focusing on Ostagar.

"A mage cannot have wants and desires. That is how the demons get to us." She said this with no feeling, he got the feeling it was more like a mantra. Something repeated so many times it was simply an automatic response.

Alistair was frowned, time for a new tactic. "Ok, so you said the stars are beautiful, right?"

"I said they were hard to imagine and I didn't mind sleeping under them," she cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Ok but you _wanted _to see them. Otherwise you wouldn't have tried to imagine them, right?"

"I suppose I was... curious... but that is hardly a desire worth trading control of my body over."

"Sooo... you admit to having desires, just not big ones?" Kallia frowned and opened and closed her mouth several times clearly not having an answer. Alistair pressed on. "Do you wish you hadn't become a Grey Warden?"

"I hardly had a choice in the matter, wishing I did would make little difference."

Alitair sighed, he was clearly not getting through to her. "Do you miss the Tower?"

"Seeing as how 'miss' implies a desire to return, no I do not." He could clearly see the longing on her face even as she denied it.

"Who are you trying to convince? Yourself? Or the Templar you think I am?" Alistair was a little offended that she seemed to think he would turn on her without notice and become one of the cruel Templars she grew up with. Logically, he knew she was probably reacting on instinct and she didn't actually know him _that _well, but still... Didn't she know enough _about_ him to trusthim?

She had fallen into silence and was once more staring at the stars. Alistair figured the conversation was over and went back to the fire, though this time his thoughts were plagued with the young woman sitting across from him instead of all the friends he'd been unable to save.

He jumped slightly when she began talking again. "I wish that Jowan had never pulled me into his mess. I wish that Irving hadn't asked me to help catch them red-handed. I wish that the battle at Ostagar didn't happen the way it did. I wish that it had been my choice to join the Grey Wardens, but I cannot bring myself to wish I had not. I would like to return to the Tower one day but I can't say I wish I had never left. Does that answer satisfy you?"

"You have a lot of wishes for someone who's not supposed to have them," he couldn't keep the goofy smile off his face at the trust she was showing with the confession.

"Just don't tell any demons," Kallia joked back.

He decided that he would rather have this inexperienced woman who'd probably spent no more than a week outside in her entire memory than someone knew exactly what dangers lay ahead of them and how to face them. With her leading the way, this impossible task didn't seem so impossible. They just might survive it yet.

Who knows, maybe when it was all over she would still want to sleep under the stars.


	2. Firey Destruction

_So I decided to continue this when I got a couple of reviews asking me to ^-^ Maybe ii only got 3 reviews total, but two of three people is still 66% in my book… even if it is a very small 66% ;)_

_Thanks to Evalyne for betaing for me and being my sounding board. ^-^ _

_Thanks also to the three people who reviewed when this was just a one-shot: Cataclysmic Eclispe, BlackIceJane, and Kaze160._

_Just a warning, this fic is definitely going to go up to a T rating and will likely go up to an M, but neither will happen for at least a few chapter (M won't happen until much further into the story). _

_This is likely going to end up being a pretty long fic. It's based on my Surana playthrough but it's not going to follow the game exactly. Hopefully it will be different enough you won't think it's boring! Hehehe_

_Anyway, enjoy and please let me know what you think! ^-^_

.oO***Oo.

Morrigan continued to disappear each night when they made camp. Not that Alistair was complaining, he certainly enjoyed being around her as little as possible, but it bothered him. Who knew what she was doing when she went off on her own like that. She could be eating babies for all they knew. Kallia, however, didn't appear worried, so he tried not to let it bother him, instead focusing on what their next plan of action should be.

While it seemed that Kallia was a natural born leader (thank the Maker for small miracles, Ferelden would have been lost if it had been up to him to lead) it wasn't hard to tell she was completely lost as to what she should do. He guessed that in the Tower she had never been in the position to lead, so natural born leader or not, she had little to no experience doing it. Alistair also got the feeling she had no idea where she was going and was trusting Morrigan to lead them to each destination. A trust Alistair was not so willing to give. Once they were out of the Wilds, directions would fall to him, he wasn't sure whether he liked the idea of that better or worse.

He was a little worried about Kallia though. Since she hadn't spent much time outside she was ridiculously pale and was quickly getting a sunburn. He had to chuckle at the thought that pale skin was one of the best ways to spot a mage, since they rarely left the Tower. Kallia never complained though, knowing there was nothing to be done about the burn.

She never could seem to heal herself though she didn't have too much trouble healing others, more than once Jowan had managed to injure himself training. The best she could do was pick the leaves off any aloe vera plants they passed to use on her skin, but they were few and far between.

Each night she would pull out a journal. At first Alistair had thought it to be a book of some kind but once he got a good look at it from across the fire he could see her name tooled into the leather cover. The design on the journal wasn't particularly fancy but it was beautiful in its simplicity. It spoke more to quality than beauty, which fit her well, he realized. Kallia never wrote in the journal, just traced her fingers over the designs. He recognized the look in her eyes, even if she didn't recognize the feeling that put it there. The longing for one's home and the simplicity of being where you belong.

The night before they arrived in Lothering, Alistair finally decided to ask if she had a plan of action. She did not. When he offered to give her directions, she threw him a stick as asked him to draw a rough map in the dirt. He did and she was quiet for several minutes while she studied it.

"We'll start with the Dalish then we can cut across here to get to your Arl. From there its north a few days to the Tower and then on to Orzammar. That route has the least amount of backtracking... Or maybe we should go to the Arl first... If he does help then we'll start off with plenty of supplies and if he doesn't Redcliff is on the way to the Tower so we haven't lost any time... what do you think?"

Alistair sighed, "I don't even know if going to the Arl is the right thing to do. He's a good man but I'm not going to fight about it. I'll do whatever you decide."

"Dalish first it is, then," she decided with a nod.

"Well I say you go after your enemy first. Kill this Loghain then you can go about gather support with the treaties in safety," Morrigan's voice came from the shadows. It made Alistair wonder if she had been listening to them the entire week of travel from Flemeth's hut or if she had merely chosen this point to come into hearing range.

"Riiight, because it's not like he has the advantage of age or experience or an entire army... Oh wait, _he does!"_ Alistair told her with a roll of his eyes.

"I was merely telling you what I would do."

"Yes, well thank you Morrigan but it's not exactly like we can do that," Kallia told her diplomatically, hoping to head off an all out fight. So far it had only been harsh teasing between the two but she had no idea what could happen if Morrigan managed to find one of Alistair's buttons to push.

Morrigan just shrugged. She then dropped a dead rabbit directly in front of Alistair who flinched away from it in surprise. Morrigan smirked, "Squeamish, are we?"

"_No_," Alistair put quite a bit of emphasis on the denial, "I was just-"

"What is it?" Kallia interrupted curiously.

Morrigan cocked an eyebrow. "A rabbit."

"Oh," her tone clearly indicated she had no idea what a rabbit was."What's it for?" she asked slowly.

"To eat," Morrigan replied just as slowly, her tone leaving no question how stupid she thought the mage at that moment. "Your food supplies are running low, you really should have been hunting this whole week." Alistair knew she was right, after all their first night hadn't he been the one to think that they could just as easily starve as they could be killed? He would never admit this though.

Morrigan? Right? No, no, no, no.

Besides it's not as though he knew if any edible animals lived in the Wilds. He made no comment as he started digging around in his pack, not finding what he was looking for he turned to Kallia. "Do you have that dagger you pulled off one of the fallen soldier at the Tower of Ishal?" She nodded and pulled it out of her pack for him. Kallia watched with interest as he started to skin the rabbit and prepare it for eating.

She only lasted a few seconds before her stomached flipped over and she made a dash for the edge of camp. Morrigan's laugh filled the air around them causing Kallia's sun burnt face to turn a shade redder.

"They didn't serve meat in the Tower?" Alistair wondered out loud.

"They did, but the task of cooking always fell to the Tranquil. On the few instances I had to help in the kitchen, the meat was always already prepared and cut up. It was just... _meat _by the time I saw it. Sometimes there was a bone in it but not..." He watched as she bent over and dry heaved again as she remembered the sight of the skin being peeled away from the dead rabbit.

Alistair decided he should probably drop the subject. Morrigan clearly did not agree.

"If you cannot handle food being prepared how do you intend to fight the darkspawn?" she asked, it was impossible to miss the disgust in her tone.

"Leave her alone, she'll get used to it with time," Alistair defended.

"She doesn't have time," Morrigan told him then disappeared into the trees again. Alistair worked as quickly as he could to dig a hole to bury the inedible organs and skin when Kallia finally spoke while she turned the rabbit he'd stuck on a makeshift rotisserie.

"Do you know how to tan the hide?"

"Huh?"

"The hide? Can you tan it? Turn it into leather or a fur pelt?" She kept her back to him as she spoke.

"Technically, I know how but it's been a long time since I tried. Why?"

"We might be able to pawn it off for some coin when we get to town. We're going to need every copper we can get our hands on."

Alistair nodded in understanding. "I'll try once we finish eating, if it doesn't work its not like we lose anything right? I'll take first watch, you go to sleep so you don't have to see me."

"Thanks," Kallia told him with a small smile.

He returned it twice over, "Can't have you puking your guts out all night, dear lady."

She nodded her head and finished cooking the meat. After eating she curled up in her bedroll and he got to work on the rabbit's hide. Alistair showed her his handiwork several hours later when he woke her for her turn at watch.

She waited until she was certain he was sleep before she focused on the fire. First she concentrated on moving the flames, growing and shrinking them to her will. Then she turned her eyes to her hand and transferred a tiny lick of flame from the campfire then tried to grow it into a ball as she had seen one of the mages at Ostagar practicing. For several minutes she grew and shrank the tiny flame in her hand, each time allowing it to get slightly larger before returning it to its original size. She smiled as she felt the magic flow through her as she had each evening since she began practicing. The freedom she felt without the watchful gaze of an instructor was amazing. She had worked with fire before but it had never been her best element.

Ice was an easy element to control, there was already moisture in the air, if need be she could summon it on her own but she found it used far less mana to simply freeze what already existed. Fire was not like that, there was no fire in the air already and she could not depend on there being a source somewhere close in battle. Having decided that she had as much control as she was going to get from controlling an existing flame she extinguished the one in her hand and began to build the magic up to summon one of her own as she did when she summoned ice.

She felt the gathering heat in her palm just as she always felt the cold when she worked with ice. It started warm and gentle, but unlike ice (which grows slowly without encouragement) the fire grew quickly. It soon felt as though she had liquid fire running through her veins ready to consume her and soon that's exactly what it felt like it would do unless it found a way out. Kallia could feel the magic fighting at her fingertips to be released, she tried to douse it as she had the tiny flame in her hand before for but the more she struggled against it the more it struggled for its freedom. Her control was at its limits so turned her body towards the tree line and unleashed the fiery fury.

She quickly used her control over ice to douse the trees that had caught fire. That done, she sank to her knees, more exhausted from the amount of control she'd had to exert than the actual mana drain. Alistair was standing in front of her within seconds, sword and shield at the ready, eyes scanning the tree line for the foe that she had been attacking.

"How many?"

"None," she answered tensely.

He frowned and lowered his guard a fraction. "None? Then what's with the fiery destruction in the middle of the night? Oohh let me guess... Morrigan finally got to you?" He studied the destruction for a moment, "You know... I don't think I've seen you use fire before."

"That's because I haven't. I was trying something new and I lost control."

He was frowning. She didn't like frowning. Frowning was a bad sign. Frowning is what the Templars did when a mage was more powerful than they could control. Frowning is what they did when they wanted to either kill a mage or make them Tranquil. She took a quick gage of the situation, he was stronger and more powerful than she was so she couldn't take him even without his armor on but she could probably freeze the air around him without actually hurting him. That would give her enough time to throw her pack together and run.

She wasn't sure why it mattered to her that she didn't hurt him. Maybe because he was the only other Grey Warden left in Ferelden. Yes, that must be it.

Kallia slowly got to her feet, ready to freeze him at a moment's notice when he suddenly got the biggest, goofiest grin she'd ever seen on his face. "Look at the damage you did, imagine what that'll do to darkspawn! Remind me to stay out of your way during the next fight," he chuckled. He turned to look at her and the smiled was replaced by a hurt expression. "You still think I'm going to turn on you, don't you?"

"Even Cullen's first thought after seeing that lack of control would have been-"

"I'm not Cullen," he told her. He had no idea who Cullen was, in the few instances she had brought up her life at the Tower she mentioned names but never got around to explaining who they were, but he could guess that this Cullen was a Templar.

"No. And I know that," she told him dropping to the log she'd been using as a chair.

"You said you were trying something new, right? Well I'm guessing magic is like a sword, when you're trying something new you're probably going to end up with a few bruises. The only difference is that you can substitute a sword with a wooden stick so you don't do too much damage, there is no magic substitute... right?"

"Well, yes but-"

"Look, I'm not a Templar or Templar-in-Training anymore."

"I know-"

"And you aren't a mage of the Circle." Kallia frowned and opened her mouth to protest but he cut her off by continuing. "We're Grey Wardens, Kallia. You left everything of your old life behind you when you Joined." He paused and looked at the charred trees again, "Plus, look at the bright side: You might have just barbequed Morrigan."

Kallia fought the grin that tried to force its way to her face as Morrigan chose that moment to step out into the light of the fire once more. She was silent as she observed the damage done, "I see your experimenting finally got out of your control." She commented coldly. " 'Tis a shame you did not aim for Alistair."

That was the final straw and Kallia laughed harder than either the warrior or witch had seen her laugh since they met her. She had laughed to be sure but there was always that level of control. Morrigan ignored her and continued talking. "Since you are both up we should go. If we leave now we can get to Lothering by late afternoon."

Kallia nodded and began packing up her bedroll. Alistair grabbed a bucket for water to put the fire out with, just as he was about to leave to get the water from the nearby river Kallia's voice stopped him.

"Alistair?"

"Yeeees?"

"So you don't have a problem with me using magic outside of battle?" she wondered cautiously.

"As long as you're not using it on me. Unless it's a healing spell, feel free to use healing spells on me." He told her. He looked thoughtful then added, "Use it on Morrigan all you want. I think she would make an excellent toad."

"Alistair, you do realize there is no magic that can transform you into a toad? She's just saying that to scare you."

"Just because they do not teach my 'barbarian magic' in that prison you call the Tower does not mean the magic doesn't exist," Morrigan chimed in, sending a meaningful glance at Alistair that was as clear as any warning Kallia had ever seen _I can turn you into a toad and I will not hesitate to do so._

Kallia simply sighed then held one of her hands toward the fire and focused. Within moments the fire was out and ice crystals covered what was left of the firewood.

"Sooo... you could've done that all week instead of sending me for a bucket of water?" He asked with mock hurt.

"Yes," she acknowledged then turned back to her pack ignoring his grumbling and Morrigan's laughing. She pulled the last bit of bread and cheese from her pack and eyed them. She smirked as she tossed her cheese to Alistair. He took it without asking why she was giving it to him, he did love his cheese. They ate their breakfast as they walked.


	3. See Spot,,, Rip Out Darkspawn Throats?

_Another week and another chapter! _

_Everyone wave at Eva and say thank you ;) _

.oO***Oo.

It was late morning when a barking noise caught Kallia's attention. It was the Mabari she had found the flower for before Ostagar. Kallia didn't know how she knew that, but she was absolutely certain it was him. When he came around a corner in the road followed by a small squadron of darkspawn she immediately pulled her staff from her back.

Alistair ran into the group of darkspawn already slipping into the threatening stance he always took during battle to make sure the enemies focused on him instead of the two women. He knew his place on the battlefield. He might not have liked Morrigan but as long as she contributed to the fighting he could wish no harm on her. Between the three of them and the mabari hound the fight was soon over.

The dog ran from the fallen bodies to Kallia and jumped up on her, putting his paws on her chest and knocking her over. She made a quiet "Oomf" as her back hit the dirt road. She protested as he licked her face excitedly.

"I think that's the mabari you helped out back at Ostagar," Alistair made the same observation she had already.

"It is," she confirmed.

"So now you're telling me that we're also going to have this mangy mutt as a traveling companion?" Morrigan asked with disgust.

"He's not mangy," Alistair defended.

"Actually he is," Kallia told him, the dog started barking happily.

"What?" he looked at her confused.

"He is, Mangy I mean. That's his name." Kallia kept a straight face. She wasn't teasing, she wasn't joking, she was simply relaying a fact. The Mabari hound's name was Mangy.

"That's not a very nice thing to name him..." Alistair whined.

"Why not? He likes it. Maker's breath, he _picked _it." Now Alistair was staring at her like she was crazy. She admitted it sounded crazy, but there was just something about the dog that had told her he liked the word Mangy and would like that to be his name. Alistair started laughing, clearly he decided it was a joke. She decided it was best to let him think that.

Better he think her joking than insane.

"Well, it's not like he actually knows what it means," Alistair said with a laugh. Mangy let off an angry growl at him and climbed off Kallia.

"Easy now, Alistair, you'll hurt his feeling," she scolded, only half teasing.

Morrigan rolled her eyes, "If you two are done, we should be moving before the darkspawn are upon us. There could be more." Alistair didn't comment that he'd be able to sense it if there were more. Technically Kallia could too but he doubted she'd realize what the feeling was and it wasn't like he could stop and explain it to her in the middle of battle.

Ten minutes later Alistair couldn't keep the glare off his face he was directing at Mangy. Kallia was the only one he had to talk to on this journey and ever since that dog had shown up she'd been paying more attention to him and Alistair hadn't had anyone to talk to besides Morrigan. Which was essentially the same as having no one to talk to. And he was _bored_. What could possibly be so exciting about talking to a dog anyway? It wasn't like he could answer her... although she seemed to be holding an actual conversation with him.

A few minutes later Alistair smirked when she and the dog went silent, apparently she had gotten bored of talking to herself. Unfortunately now he couldn't think of a way to breach the silence. He was slightly annoyed that she seemed perfectly content with the lack of conversation. Her hand was resting on Mangy's head absently scratching his ears while she walked.

She would stop occasionally, as she had over the last week, and pick herbs she recognized. He tried to help but found that all the plants looked the same to him so he settled for asking what each one did as she picked it or dug it up.

"What's this one called?"

"Deathroot."

"Ohh creepy name. What's it do?"

Kallia sighed and stopped her digging. "The same thing it did the last time you asked." Mangy made some kind of noise and Kallia turned her gaze to him. "Don't you laugh at him. You wouldn't be able to tell me the difference between deathroot and a cattail fern either."

Alistair snickered at that comment and she sent him a glare as well. Maker, she felt like a sodding mother. Everyone in her little group was constantly picking fights with the others and she was the one caught in the middle. Thank Andraste Morrigan had gone on ahead.

Kallia pulled the plant out and broke the stem off so all she was holding was the root. "Of course up until a week ago I couldn't recognize these plants either. I'd only ever seen the dried versions and pictures drawn in books. Duncan was the one who pointed them out to me." She commented absently, but then cursed herself when she saw the look on Alistair's face. "Do you want to talk about it?" Kallia had a lot of experience comforting children, she somehow didn't think comforting Alistair would be that much different.

"You don't have to do this, Kallia. I know that you didn't..." he sighed and shook his head. "You only knew him maybe two weeks."

"But I did still know him. And I do mourn his loss, though perhaps not as deeply as you," she told him gently.

"How do you do it? Keep going as though nothing happened? Have you lost someone before? I.. I don't mean to pry..."

"Alistair, I grew up in the Tower. My bedtime stories were about abominations and maleficar, all of which resulted in death." Kallia didn't add that the warning the stories served as did not always work.

"I suppose being sent to the Tower felt a lot like when I was sent to the Chantry. You didn't have much of a choice either," he commented.

Kallia found herself rather grateful that Alistair had never become a full Templar. She had trouble imagining him doing nothing but patrolling a dusty library. If she knew Alistair, he would be so nervous that one of them was going to turn him into a toad that he would barely be able to function. So they would likely have him watch the children. He would have been good for that... perhaps the children he had watched would have gotten some better bedtime stories. But in the end, watching the children was worse than watching the apprentices or mages.

A child's want is much stronger than adult's is. Their dreams are far grander, and that makes it much easier for demons to pull them into the Fade. When it happened, the older children and mages always did their best to restrain the child until a ritual could be performed to break the link between the child and demon, but sometimes a Templar would get to them first or they were too strong or too dangerous to even wait for the Templars...

Alistair would never have lived with himself if he had to kill a child.

She smiled at him, "I suppose it probably was for the older children, but I was sent to the Tower before I can even remember."

He was quiet for several minutes while she finished cleaning the dirt off the herb she had just dug up and packed it with the others in her pack. "Thank you," he said quietly.

"I thought it might help to talk about it."

"It did, at least at little..."

Kallia nodded and gave him a wry smile. "We should get going." She shouldered her pack and the three set off to catch up with Morrigan, both glad the witch hadn't been there for their talk.

.oO***Oo.

_So review and let me know what you think!_


	4. Bandits!

_Ok, so it was a very long, very rough week for me and I'm feeling generous enough to give you two chapters this week. Mainly because I'm selfish and need the reviews to boost my mood. _

_So before we go onto the chapter I have a funny story I think you'll all enjoy. I was over at my parent's the other day and I was working on an email to Eva. My mom saw me and asked who I was emailing. Now, without a thought, I responded, "My beta." _

_Of course, my mother's reaction was, "You got a fish?"_

"_Yes, Mom, I got a fish and bought it a little miniature waterproof computer to keep in its bowl so it can email me and play games when it's bored."_

_To which her response was, "They make those?"_

_So, everyone wave and say thank you for betaing to my fish with comma issues Eva ;)_

_Enjoy the chapter and remember to review._

.oO***Oo.

Lothering was in their sights, all they had to do was cross a large stone bridge, when the bandits came out from behind the boxes and wagons. The leader asked for 10 silver (10 silver they couldn't spare) as a toll. A fight broke out when Kallia refused to turn over the coin. After killing his thugs, the leader was quickly begging for his life.

Kallia pursed her lips as she put her staff away. "Turn over all the coin you've stolen," she told him.

"O-of course," he told her handing her a medium-sized coin purse that jingled with coins. She would count it later. "The rest is in those boxes back there."

"Good. Now come with us, we're going to turn you in to the proper authorities."

"But you can't! They'll kill me!" he panicked.

"Well I can't leave you here to continue preying on innocent refugees," Kallia told him emotionlessly, suppressing and ignoring emotions was one of the first things new mages learn at the Tower. A mage's control over magic was affected by their emotional state, even an ounce of fear when your instructor launched a fireball at you and your shield could fail. Is it a wonder some of the best mages were also the most confidant in their own abilities? If you couldn't learn to ignore your emotions they were taken away.

"Look I'm just trying to get by during a hard time," he tried to reason.

"Yes, by preying on innocent refugees." Her mind was made up and there would be no changing it. Especially by him.

"You'll never take me alive," he yelled as he moved to attack.

Kallia flinched backward, having already put her staff away, her hand came up to freeze the bandit but all she managed to do was slow him. Despite being slowed, there was no way she would be able to avoid his hit. She felt her back press against an armored chest as Alistair wrapped his shield arm around her, both blocking the attack and pulling her out of the way of the next one.

"A word of advice, don't put your weapon away until you're sure the enemies are all dead," he warned in her ear. One swing of his sword later and the gang leader was on the ground.

It was only then that it occurred to Alistair the position he and Kallia were in. It had been a gut reaction to protect her and there had been no time for thinking. He could feel his face burning up as he stuttered an apology.

She arched an eyebrow in amusement, "You're sorry for saving me?"

"No! That's not… I mean... I'm sorry for..."

Kallia chuckled and took pity on him. "Don't apologize. I should be thanking you, not forgiving you. There's nothing to forgive."

She didn't add that it wasn't as though she'd never been that close to a man before (though admittedly it was the first time with that much armor between her and whatever man she happened to be close to at the time). It wasn't hard to tell that _he _certainly hadn't been that close to a woman, armor or otherwise, so she changed the subject to avoid embarrassing him further. "Let's check the boxes, see if there's anything worth taking or selling." She made her way to the boxes and started digging through them, letting Alistair check over the body for anything salvageable.

They kept their loot well organized for bandits. It was easy to find the food and other needed supplies. Those were added to their packs. After sorting through the rest of the loot, she chose what looked like it would either be the most useful or would sell for the most and they left the rest and walked into town.

Kallia had hoped to head straight to a merchant when she got to town, that was not to be. Well not to sell stuff, anyway. Morrigan complained that she was wasting time and that she should have taken the 100 silver and let the merchant do as he wanted, but Kallia could not in good conscious let him make money off the suffering of others. Of course then he hiked the prices twice as much for her and her party and refused to give them decent prices on the items she tried to sell to him, so her next stop was the tavern.

Where they were attacked.

Again.

But they gained another companion for their effort. Leliana made her slightly nervous. For one thing, Kallia was convinced the woman was at least slightly insane, what with the visions and all that, but she would not turn away help where it was offered and as Alistair put it she seemed to be more "Pretty Colors" insane then "Princess Stabitty". She eyed the Sister and began digging through her pack without a word. Finding what she was looking for, she tossed the rough leather armor to the other woman who caught it effortlessly.

"You can hardly fight in Chantry Robes. Sorry but this is the best we've got for now," she commented as she pulled out a pair of rough leather gloves and boots.

"It's better than what I have now," the bard answered with a smile. "I appreciate it."

Kallia nodded and made her way over to the merchant. She bartered for better prices on some things, the rest of the group just left her to it. She seemed to know what she was doing and they didn't want to get in the way. Alistair went off to order them all a hot meal while they decided what to do next only to find there was no food to be had, when he returned Kallia was arguing over the price of flasks. The merchant and mage were talking quickly back and forth. Alistair held back a laugh as he saw several people watching them, their heads going back and forth as though they were watching a duel..

"This is the highest price I've ever seen for a single flask," she told him calmly.

"Look, times are hard right now and I'm afraid I can't lower the price anymore."

"Two silver is a ridiculous price and I'm afraid if you don't lower it I'll only buy a few. However, if you were to lower it to say... one silver? I could be convinced to stock up now rather than buying the minimum I can get buy on."

"Lady that's half price!"

"Yes but think about it. If you keep the price at two silver I'm only going to buy 10 flasks, but if you were to lower the price to one silver then I'm likely to buy at least 50 flasks. That's a 40 silver difference."

"Ah but if I sold those same 50 flasks to someone willing to pay my price for them I could make 100 silver instead of 50."

"But can you guarantee that you'll sell the other 40 flasks? Especially at that price. Are you willing to risk 40 silver for the chance of 80?"

The merchant was quiet for several minutes as he eyed her. Alistair could see the gears in the man's head working as he calculated totals, "You're a shrew one, little miss, but you know your stuff. I'll give you that." He paused then added, "120 copper per flask, that's the lowest I'll go."

Kallia smiled sweetly at him, "I'll take 40 flasks." she pulled out her purse and handed him the coins. He handed her the box of flasks and she turned to the table with her group. Alistair handed her back the coin she'd given him to get their food with and she put it back in the purse.

"Sooo... Let me get this straight. You don't even _know _what a rabbit is but you not only know the correct pricing for a flask and you have the bartering skills to talk the merchant down to essentially half price?"

"Two silver per flask was a ridiculous price even if you take the state of the local economy and the desperate times into consideration. He knew it just as well as I did," Kallia told him smoothly.

"The Revered Mother has been trying to talk him down on the prices of those flasks for a week. You're bartering skills are quite impressive," Leliana told her. Kallia gave her a sad look.

"That was hardly impressive. Back at the Tower I managed to talk one of the suppliers down to 25 copper per flask, most of the others I got down to 50. A hundred and twenty is hardly my best work."

"I thought you were just out of your apprenticeship when you joined the Grey Wardens," Alistair wondered out loud.

"I was."

"Then why were you bartering with the Tower's suppliers? Why were you learning bartering in the first place? That's not something they even teach most senior mages, let alone apprentices."

"Well it usually falls to the Tranquil to do the bartering, but Irving wanted me to sit in on a bartering session. Through no fault of his own, Owain was getting nowhere and I knew I could get a better deal so I jumped in and talked the merchant down."

"Oh my, wasn't he offended?" Leliana asked.

"A Tranquil can't be offended. He told me that he preferred that the Tower got the best deal possible and that I got the most of the experience I could."

"But _why _did whoever want you to have the experience in the first place?" Alistair persisted.

Kallia opened her mouth to answer but found that she didn't have one to give. Irving had simply insisted on teaching her economics and finance along with her magic skills. She had never wondered _why _until now. She went over conversations she'd had with him in her head, minor comments that meant nothing before suddenly standing out like a campfire on the darkest of all nights.

Irving had intended for her follow in his footsteps. He had intended for her to become a First Enchanter. Undoubtedly with her skills she would have been promoted to Senior Mage. She was well liked among most of the other mages and would have easily been selected.

She might not have been the one directly to follow him (she knew that Wynne had been asked, so clearly they had someone in mind for the next First Enchanter) but he clearly intended for her to follow him at some point in her life.

Her eyes went wide with surprise as the realization hit her, with it all the pain of missing those she had known her entire life. She looked at her hands and forced all thoughts of the Tower away. Despite having told Alistair she couldn't bring herself to wish she had never left, there were times when she most certainly did wish she was still there.

Maybe with Irving's help she would have mastered Fire rather than experimenting with it in secret. She would have mastered all the elements eventually, she was sure of that.

"Warden?" Leliana's voice broke her thoughts.

"It doesn't matter now," she answered then as a thought occurred to her. "I just remembered I need to buy ink, is all."

"Ink?" Alistair was clearly confused by the sudden change in topics.

"Yes. I need to find where to buy ink." Alistair watched Kallia's face as she spoke and decided he simply didn't know her well enough to read her nor did he know women in general well enough to guess what this reaction might mean.

"You needn't buy ink. Had you asked I could have shown you how to make it from soot," Morrigan told her. It was the kindest thing Alistair had heard her say, despite the condescending tone. Leliana made no effort to conceal the concern covering her face. She must be better at reading people than he was.

"Are you alright?" She asked with (as far as Alistair could tell) genuine concern.

Kallia smiled, "I'm fine. So where do we find this Chanter's Board?"

"In front of the Chantry, across the bridge," Leliana told her after looking her over.

"Alright, I'll go check what work is to be had. I'll be right back." She stood to leave and Mangy immediately followed her, leaving behind a rather upset Alistair and a smirking Morrigan.

" 'Tis rather amusing to see you so easily replaced by a slobbering mutt, Alistair," Morrigan told him. "But I'm sure Kallia finds him to be a great improvement over you."

"I thought you liked animals," he commented with every ounce of animosity he felt coming through in his voice.

"I do. The wild ones. Not these domesticated mongrels."

Alistair huffed. Much as he hated to admit it, Morrigan was right. The only friend he had left in this world was replacing him with her dog.

.oO***Oo.

_Please remember to review. Because I'm so generous, right? Click, click. *points down*_

_See you on Monday for Chapter 5_


	5. Homesick

_I want to start off by thanking the people that did review. Bingham Vance and Chase. It's a little discouraging how few people choose to review, but I promised you a new chapter on Monday and it is now Monday. _

_And of course thank you to Eva for being my beta fishy with comma issues (I cleaned her water for her while she was out of town). ;)_

_Anyways… On with the chapter!_

.oO***Oo.

As soon as Kallia was out the door she heaved a sigh. Mangy whimpered slightly at her side and she reached her hand down to scratch his ears. "I'm fine, boy. Just remembering." Mangy let off a single bark and licked her hand comfortingly, she smiled in appreciation. "Now, let's find that Chanter's Board, shall we?"

He barked again and followed her as she made her way back towards the Chantry trying to put all thoughts of the Tower to the back of her mind. This was not made easier by the fact that everything around her now seemed to remind her of her own experiences growing up.

When it had just been Alistair, Morrigan, and herself traveling in the Wilds there had been little to remind her of what she was missing. Now it seemed the Maker himself was out to upset her. Much as she would claim otherwise if asked, she missed the Tower sorely. It wasn't just the place she missed, it was the little, everyday things.

The senior mages who would stand around and gossip while their apprentices practiced. The older children who would comfort the younger children who still called out for their parents at night. Irving's proud smile when she did well and his encouragement when she didn't. Cullen's jealous glare when she flirted with the other mages and his nervous (and a tad disbelieving) stuttering when she flirted with him.

Now that she thought about it, if she was meant to be Irving's replacement Cullen was likely supposed to be Greagoir's. It made sense... Most mages and Templars were discouraged from socializing at all yet she and Cullen had never received a word of grief for their friendship. In fact, Irving had subtly encouraged it. While Greagoir had simply endured it, the fact that he did so spoke more than someone who didn't know him would realize.

Barking forced her mind to return to the present and she looked at Mangy who was jumping around excitedly. She chuckled, "See something interesting, boy?" He barked once and ran off. Kallia shook her head and leaned against the stone wall of the bridge to wait for him. When he returned he had a dusty old bottle filled with some sort of dark reddish-purple liquid in his mouth. She took the bottle and rubbed the dirt off the label. "Oh Mangy, this is lovely. We'll have to save this."

It was a bottle of 100 year old wine. She could sell it but she knew that there was no way she would get a proper price for the wine in a place like this. No, it was better to save it so she tucked it into her pack, praised Mangy once more, and made her way over to the sign she assumed to be the Chanter's board.

She was looking over the jobs posted when a hand on her shoulder startled her. She turned quickly, hand at the ready to summon a spell to defend herself only at the last second to realize who it was. "Alistair," she said in surprise.

She was suddenly very worried about her instinctive reaction. Since when was her first reaction to magically defend herself when she was surprised? A reaction like that at the Tower would have gotten her killed. But instead of reaching for his sword (as she still subconsciously expected him to do), Alistair was simply standing there, hands held up in a manner showing he meant no harm.

"Easy now, didn't mean to startle you," he told her. Kallia dropped her hand and dispelled the magic gathering there, glad that he hadn't noticed her instinctive fear of his reaction.

"I didn't realize it was you," she muttered. Alistair simply laughed it off apparently not at all worried by her reaction. She couldn't help but wonder why... did he trust her so much as to bet his life that she would realize it was him and stop herself? If he was so willing to give her his own trust, why did she find it so difficult to give him hers?

Her friendship with Alistair was forming much as the one with Cullen had: around her inability to completely trust him. Deep down, she knew that Cullen would only harm her if she crossed the line. Just as she knew that every time she so much as glanced in the direction of that line, he would always question how close she had come to crossing it. Alistair, however, had not once doubted her despite all the reasons she had given him to do so and yet she was still treating him the same as she would have treated Cullen.

Alistair scratched the back of his neck nervously and started shuffling his feet. Kallia realized while she'd been stuck in thought she had been staring at him and immediately turned to the papers on the board.

"There's only one job right now. Bandits, that way," she pointed off in the direction the paper described. "They can't be much more difficult than the ones we met outside of town."

Alistair jumped on the chance to end the awkward silence. "You'll need something to mark it with, to show you're taking the job."

"Like this?" she asked, showing him the ring Irving had given her after her Harrowing.

"Well, yes, I suppose it would work..." He hesitated for only an instant but it was enough to catch Kallia's attention.

"But?"

"Buuuut... That's the insignia of the Tower. Of the Circle of Magi..." She cocked an eyebrow, indicating that she was completely aware of that and didn't understand the problem. "Only a mage would carry it," he clarified.

"And people fear mages," she finished for him, she hid the hurt in her voice well and he would not have picked up on it had Mangy not made comforting noises and nuzzled her hand with his head.

"_I _think no less of you because you're a mage," he quickly attempted to recover, but the first conversation she'd had with him was already flashing through her mind.

_I don't suppose you happen to be another mage?_

She was saved from answering him by yelling that erupted from the other side of the wall. Kallia turned and looked to the other side to see a Chasind man screaming at a group of people. One of the men with a young child hiding behind his legs begged the man to stop. Kallia knew that look. She had seen it many nights as a young teenager, holding the younger children after one of the crueler Templar's stories or after a nightmare caused by the stories. The yelling man turned his attention to her, calling her a minion of evil.

Insults were not a new thing to Kallia. Though prejudice had not been as much of a problem in the Tower among her fellow mages (they were mages first and humans or elves second), the Templars certainly had no qualms about expressing their dislike and hatred. It was only after she left the Tower that she began to understand the extent of people's dislike for her race as well. Kallia had heard stories, reasons why elves were so few in the Tower when (as a people) they were far more inclined towards magic than humans, but she had dismissed them as mere stories. After all, the only people who really could come and go out of the Tower were those that hated her kind (both mage and apparently elf), why not make up a few stories to scare the elven children? She had to admit though, minion of evil was not one of the most creative insults she'd had thrown at her.

"Keep your voice down! The children are scared enough without you adding to it," Kallia told him harshly.

The Chasind man grabbed the hair on the back of Kallia's head and pulled it. She fought the reaction to defend herself, not forgetting Alistair's unspoken warning not to reveal herself as a mage if she could help it. She could see Mangy and Alistair coiled, prepared to attack and defend her but knowing that if the Chasind so chose he could easily snap her neck before they would be able to get to him. All they could do was wait for an opening and hope she'd be able to react fast enough if he decided to harm her.

"Better to slit their throats now then let them suffer at darkspawn hands." His voice was raw with pain and thick with unshed tears.

"Please, shut him up," one of the other men begged her.

"What happened to you?" Kallia wondered out loud.

"I... I ran.. Hearing my wife's screams as they dragged her off." His eyes suddenly became unfocused and he stared at her hair in wonder. "She had hair the same color as yours..." Kallia realized he was not seeing her but his dead wife as he ran his fingers through some hair that had fallen out of the double braids at the nape of her neck. It had been cut by a too-close arrow during some random fight.

"Scaring these people will not bring her back," she told him in the same voice she had used on the children at the Tower. The one used to gently warn them of the consequences of falling for a demon's lies.

"You... You are right," he released her with a sigh as his hand fell back at his side as though suddenly made of lead. "I will go."

"He was right, wasn't he?" a Chantry brother asked her. "There's no hope for us."

She glanced at the young child, still hiding behind her father's legs but now staring at her waiting for her answer.

"There's always hope. Muster your courage," she told the Brother.

"Of course. You're right, of course," he shook his head at his own lack of faith. He and the other men moved off, discussing plans to go north. An old man stood off to the side, a grateful look on his face. His eyes had seen too much to fall for her sweet lie but he appreciated the hope she had given the people around him. He nodded his head at her once before moving off as well.

"Do you really think there's hope for these people?" Alistair asked her. She looked at him and realized the townsfolk were not the only ones to be fooled.

"No. The majority of these people will be dead within the month, if they had the ability to move on they would have done so long ago. You said so yourself, the people here are clearly aware of the impending darkspawn invasion."

"Then why did you-?"

"Lie?" she interrupted.

"You just strike me as the type that prefers to face the brutal truth rather than allowing people to live in ignorant bliss," Alistair told her.

"I do what I must for the best possible outcome."

"So, you're fine with lying to these people?" he asked in disbelief. She had to smile at his idealistic innocence. In the short time she'd known him, his inability to lie had been made quite obvious.

"What good would it have done for me to deny all hope? If they actually had a chance of escaping I would have told them the brutal truth, as you put it, but since they don't I see no point in upsetting them further. Now about the bandits... what about the design on our Grey Warden Pendants?" She looked to him expectantly.

"What I said about your ring... I didn't mean-"

"Yes, you did," she interrupted. "Don't apologize. You spoke the truth, I cannot fault you for that." Alistair nodded and held the red wax stick over the lit candle next to the board, then Kallia pressed her pendant into the drops he let fall on the paper.

"I can't believe they're still operating the Chanter's board at a time like this," Alistair snickered. "Talk about dedicated."

"I won't complain. So long as they operate this board we have a chance for some extra income," she replied coolly.

Alistair frowned at her while she walked off before running to catch up with her. He stood in front of her preventing her from walking forward, she looked at him questioningly. "Don't you ever just have fun?" he demanded.

"Excuse me?"

"Fun. Don't you ever just enjoy life?"

"Alistair," Kallia told him slowly and crossed her arms. "The darkspawn are less than a week behind us. Now that they have taken Ostagar it's going to take an entire army to turn them back, an army we alone must gather and lead with very little chance of reinforcements. It is unlikely there are any other Grey Wardens left alive and if there are, they are being hunted as traitors. Tell me, Alistair, what about our lives is there to enjoy?" Her tone remained cool, giving her the air of a mother reprimanding her child.

Mangy whimpered at her side and let out a huff of air. She looked at the dog at her side and sagged. "You're right," she told the dog then turned her gaze to Alistair. "I'm upset and taking it out on you. I shouldn't do that."

He was quiet for a moment, finding her reaction to being 'upset' slightly disconcerting. From his experience when people were upset, they yelled or screamed or threw tantrums. They didn't calmly lay out the facts. Rather than calling her on it though, he asked, "Well, what are you upset about?"

"What _isn't _there to be upset about?" she asked with a mild glare.

"No offense, but everything you just listed has been wrong for about a week. If you're only just getting upset now, it must be something else. It must be the ink, what's so upsetting about ink? Ooh did one of the boys at the Tower dip your hair in ink? I did that once to one of the girls at Redcliff when I was younger. Took her a week to wash it out. That was one of the last pranks I pulled before I was sent off to the Chantry," Alistair told her quite proudly, his chest even puffed out slightly.

"We didn't need ink to dye other students' hair and our spells lasted significantly longer than a week because they can't be washed out."

Alistair laughed. "You? Played pranks? I knew there was a normal person in there somewhere!"

Kallia fell quiet as she remembered who had convinced her to play the pranks. She repeated the line Jowan had used. "It was a good exercise in creating difficult to break spells and the other students needed the practice in breaking the spells and they had to walk around with blue or pink or whatever colored hair until they could do so." She became uncomfortable and quickly changed the subject. "So you said that Arl Eamon raised you?"

"Did I say that? I meant to say I was raised by dogs."

"Dogs, huh?" she arched an eyebrow.

He nodded his head vigorously, "Giant, slobbering ones. A whole pack of them, in fact, from the Anderfels."

"That certainly must have been tough on them." Alistair took the tiny grin Kallia couldn't keep off her face as encouragement.

"Well they were flying dogs, you see." The grin grew. "Surprisingly strict parents." It became smile. "And devout Andrastians, to boot."

"Well that is what they say about Anders," she nodded with mock seriousness.

"_That_ and that they make a great deal of cheese."

Kallia laughed. "That must be where you get your affinity for it then," she told him.

"Oh no, see that was the strange thing. If you so much as said cheese around the dogs, they'd start growling."

"Hmm that is odd," she commented. There was a pause for several minutes before she spoke again. "You know, Alistair, I would tell you if you don't want to talk about something you just have to say so but I enjoy the stories you come up with too much to tell you not to tell them."

"Well that _is _what I'm here for: comic relief."

Morrigan's voice was the one to respond, "That and little else. Is there any work to be had or not? If not, I say we move on."


	6. A Big, Gaping Hole

_Happy Memorial Day! _

_Oh man, it's been a busy day…. I almost forgot to publish this chapter! But do not worry, I have not forgotten my faithful readers :)_

_As always, I want to thank my beta fishy Eva, don't forget to check out her new story Abandoned Sanctuary. _

_And, of course, my reviewers Bingham Vance and The Golden Echo. _

_Anyway, on with the story… Enjoy!_

**[Edit 6/4/10] Corrected misspelling of "legend" (thanks to Zeeji for catching it)**

.oO***Oo.

They ignored the many arguments over food they saw on their way to the fields where the bandits had made their homes. Even if they had gotten involved there was little they could do anyway, so they simply moved on. They were able to outfit Leliana with better armor and a much better bow from the bandits, though Kallia was rather surprised the Sister didn't balk at wearing armor taken from a dead body. From what she could remember of the Chantry at the Tower, the sisters there had been rather squeamish. The group also found a complete set of very nice plate armor. Unfortunately it was too heavy for even Alistair to fight efficiently in so they figured they'd take it back to town and sell it.

On the way back to town, they walked around a large gathering of villagers. The small group had planned on simply ignoring them and leaving them to their business, however it appeared the villagers' business was with the Grey Warden's group.

"We know what you are," the man who appeared to be the leader called out to Kallia. She stopped walking and looked at them. She was a lot of things: a mage, a Grey Warden, an elf, a female. How she reacted depended on what the man meant. "We know you're a Grey Warden." Ah, so that's what it was then. "I don't know if you did what Loghain's men said and, Maker help me, I don't care."

"We don't want to hurt you," Kallia warned. "But think about it, we survived Ostagar and you couldn't even drive off the bandits that plagued your town. Do you really want to fight us?" She wasn't being intimidating, she simply spoke the facts.

The man had sad eyes as he looked at her. "The bounty on your head could feed lot of hungry bellies around here. I am sorry. Attack!"

There were too many for all of them to attack Alistair, even Leliana had trouble keeping the villagers off the two mages. Morrigan transformed into a spider (which did manage to scare a few of them off) but Kallia was quickly being overwhelmed. She froze as many as she could, but Winter's Grasp could only go so far. She could feel the pressure building in her head and the twisting fear as, for the first time in her life, she felt panic seize her gut.

She had her Arcane Shield erected but it was doing little to stop the hits the villager's launched at her. When she had practiced with Irving she had always known that he would never do any real harm to her, the fireballs he launched were just for show and could do little damage. That was not the case with these villagers. These villagers intended harm. These villagers intended death.

The pressure in her mind suddenly released in a shockwave that made the villagers around her grab their heads and drop their weapons. That one spell, which Alistair would later name Mind Blast for her, was enough to turn the tide on the fight, though Alistair stood staring at the dead and unconscious bodies afterward.

"They were just men," he told her. "Just men who wanted to feed their families."

Kallia took one look at his face and knew she would have to be the strong one. She could not falter on this decision to defend themselves or Alistair would surely crumble. She pushed all doubts she had aside and told him, "We had no choice Alistair. They would not have stopped until we were dead."

"They just wanted to feed their families," he repeated.

"Would you have allowed them to kill you so people, who most likely won't live to turn in the bounty on us anyway, may eat?" Kallia asked. He remained silent but she knew he had gotten the point.

" 'Twould be foolish to linger here, we should get the coin for our work and leave," Morrigan crossed her arms and glared at Alistair.

"She's right... we should go..." Alistair responded. That he would admit to Morrigan being right showed just how distracted he was but Kallia didn't protest.

They saw a strange looking man standing in a cage on their way back to the Chanter's Board. She approached him and despite his eyes being closed as he recited what Kallia could only assume was a prayer, he was entirely aware of her presence.

"I have nothing to say that would amuse you, elf. Leave me in peace," he told her blankly.

"Are you a prisoner?" Kallia wondered, though the question was a stupid one. The man called her on her stupidity.

"I am in a cage, am I not?"

"You aren't like any other human I've seen before..." she trailed off with a question in her voice.

"I am Sten of the Beresaad - the vanguard - of the Qunari peoples."

"I'm Kallia Surana," she nearly added 'of the Grey Wardens' but remembering how that had worked out with the villagers decided against it. He was in a cage, but there was a big gaping hole in the front of it*. She had no doubt he could simply climb out if he so chose. Instead, she added, "Pleased to meet you."

"You mock me," Sten stated with obvious confusion. "That or you show manners I have not come to expect in your lands."

"Not to put too fine a point on it, but the Quanari are renowned warriors. If we could release him, maybe he could help us," Alistair leaned forward to whisper quietly in her ear. Something about the caged man told Kallia he'd heard the statement, though she didn't know what because he gave no outward sign to indicate as such.

"So why are you in the cage?" Kallia asked.

"The Revered Mother says he slaughtered an entire family, including the children," Leliana explained.

"It is as she says," Sten replied. Kallia couldn't help but feel like every word he spoke was filled with annoyance at being bothered, but again she had no idea why that could be.

"What is? That you were put in the cage by the Chantry or that you slaughtered the entire family?" In her studies of demons she'd learned to be very careful with words, how you phrased things, and the conclusions you jumped to. She'd come to realize it was a good policy for people as well.

"It matters little now, I will die soon enough," was his answer.

"I find myself in need of some skilled help," Kallia informed him._ What the hell, _she figured, _I've already got one armed lunatic following me. Why not make it two?_

"Of that I have no doubt," Sten eyed her as he spoke. Oh, there was that gut feeling again… the one that said that he was looking at her very disapprovingly. "What do you seek?"

"I'm sworn to defend the land against the Blight," she answered, carefully phrasing it so she didn't outright call herself a Grey Warden.

"The Blight? Are you a Grey Warden then?" So much for her careful phrasing.

"Why do you wish to know?"

"Tales of the Grey Wardens' strength and skill have reached even my lands," he eyed her again, "though I suppose not every legend is true."

Kallia simply couldn't bring herself to be offended at the comment. Even she admitted she didn't look like much. It probably didn't help that she'd been in the order for less than a month and had probably spent less than an hour with any Grey Warden other than Duncan or Alistair.

"Do you think the Revered Mother would let him free, Leliana?"

"Perhaps if we told her the Grey Wardens required his assistance. To be left to starve or murdered by darkspawn, no one deserves that and the Revered Mother is not an unreasonable woman," the bard answered.

Kallia nodded and looked at Sten. "Would you be willing to follow me against the Blight?"

"It seems as likely to bring my death as waiting here," he replied.

"Then I'll leave you for now," she told him.

"Very well," he answered and went back to his chanting. Kallia nodded once then she and her companions made their way back to the bridge.

.oO***Oo.

_*Seriously, look at Sten's cage. I'm pretty sure it's meant to be a window so you can see him, but I'm pretty sure he could climb out of it if he wanted._


	7. Old Fears, Old Friends

_Yaay! You get an extra chapter this week! My internet went out last night and because I lacked distractions I managed to get a couple of chapters written and I figured I'd give you a treat._

_Thanks to my beta fishy Eva and just a reminder to check out her story Abandoned Sanctuary :)_

_As always, thank you to my loyal readers and reviewers as well. _

_Bingham Vance pointed out that Sten probably isn't nimble enough to climb out of the cage. Then I thought about it and the thought of Sten trying to climb out of it just made me laugh because it would probably break. So I thought I would share that humorous little thought for those of you who don't read the reviews. _

_Also thank you to Zeeji for catching the misspelling in the last chapter, it's been corrected :) _

_Anyway, enjoy your extra chapter!_

.oO***Oo.

They made their way back towards the Chanter's Board, and thus the Chantry, and informed the Brother standing next to the board of the bandits' demise. He thanked them in a round-about way.. or maybe he was blessing them... Kallia really couldn't tell anything except that he was probably reciting some part of the Chant.

"This is where the Revered Mother is," Leliana told her. "She's in a room in the back." Kallia nodded.

They walked through the doors and could hear one of the Templars talking to his men near the back, his voice echoing through the room. "There's word of darkspawn stragglers but no sign of the main horde. We are the only hope of protection this village has and I will not abandon them." He seemed to notice Kallia standing off to the side watching him and asked "Yes, my lady?"

Kallia was slightly nervous having all of these Templars around her, fearing they would peg her an apostate for being outside the Tower, but none of them spared her a second glance. Despite her nervousness, the manners drilled into her at the Tower by Irving shone through, "I didn't mean to interrupt."

"It's no trouble," he signaled his men they were dismissed and turned to face her completely. She thought for a moment that she saw surprise on his face as he looked over her robes. Although the robes were muddied almost beyond recognition, the beautiful golden yellow she'd spent her life aiming for now a dirty greenish brown. Even the golden embroidery no longer shone as it once had. If he didn't recognize those, the staff could easily peg her as a mage, but either he had bigger things to worry about or she had imagined it because he added, "I am Ser Bryant, commander of the remaining Templars. You don't... seem like the other refugees..." Perhaps he had recognized the robes then.

"I'm called Kallia," she told him. She counted at least five Templars and the majority of her little group's firepower was magic. Alistair, Mangy, and Leliana would hardly be able to protect the two mages should the Templars decide to attack them... whether for being Grey Wardens or for being apostates.

"You wouldn't happen to be one of Arl Eamon's knights would you?" the Templar asked, though the question was directed at Alistair.

"Do many of his knights come here?" Kallia sidestepped, it went unnoticed.

"Some do these days. Arl Eamon has fallen ill and they search for the Urn of Andraste's Sacred Ashes. He must be very ill if they chase fairytale as the only cure." Kallia could almost feel the tension radiating off Alistair at Ser Bryant's words, but to his credit he held himself in check and didn't say anything. "One of the Arl's knights is here.. chasing fairytales while..." The templar sighed and visibly calmed himself, he was obviously angry how the knights were spending their time. "Ask him if you care about this foolishness."

"I wondered if you knew there were a bunch of bandits outside of town...?" Kallia asked.

The Templar rolled his eyes, "Maker's breath, how many times must we drive them off?"

"Well, they won't be bothering you again. We tried to bring them in for justice but they resisted, we had to kill them before they killed us," Kallia informed him.

"All of them? By yourself?" She wondered why he seemed so disbelieving; did she really look so skinny and powerless?

"Well I had companions with me, I was hardly alone." Oh and the way Alistair's chest puffed up with pride at having done a good deed.

"It's true, I saw it from my post," Kallia went ridged as a board at the approaching Templar's words, if he saw the fight then he saw she was a mage... She steeled herself for the insults and attacks to begin. "It was over so fast we didn't even have time to get over there. You should have seen it Bryant, just the three of them and a dog took down the entire gang!"

Ser Bryant sighed, "Sad that it needed to come to that, but they were asking for it." He glanced at her and clearly read her stance. "Be calm, dear lady. I can tell by your robes and that ring that you're a Circle Mage. Most apostates tend to lose those very identifying robes as quickly as they can so I doubt you are one and if you are, well we don't really have the manpower to waste trying to stop you. Besides it seems as if you're doing good, so who am I to interfere? Will you accept a small reward for getting rid of the bandits?"

"It would be helpful, thank you," Kallia told him and took the few coins he offered. She did not count them. Honestly she hadn't even expected anything but to inform him that the bandits were gone. She wouldn't turn away coin where offered however. Kallia turned towards the only other man who was armored in something besides Templar armor but Bryant's voice stopped her.

"If you're looking to do some good, there's a Chanter's Board out front, not all of them pay but..."

"We've already done some work we found on the Board, but we'll certainly check for more if there's time," Kallia told him. She had honestly not expected a Templar to be so kind to a mage, perhaps it was only the Tower Templars that were so cruel? She decided later she would need to re-evaluate her opinion of Templars to see just how accurate it was.

They made their way over to a man standing by a pile of books; he seemed completely unaware of their approach so Kallia coughed to get his attention. Not something she'd had to do very often lately since Alistair's armor tended to alert everyone within a ten mile radius of his presence.

"Who..? I'm sorry, I didn't hear your approach."

Alistair's eyes lit with recognition, so Kallia waited for him to speak first. "Ser Donall?"

The knight squinted his eyes and cocked his head to the side as though trying to place the younger man. "...Alistair? Is that you? I heard of the battle of Ostagar and I... I was certain you were dead."

Kallia briefly wondered how the man could recognize someone he hadn't seen since the boy was ten years old but for some reason couldn't bring herself to think boy-Alistair was much different from man-Alistair.

After a short chat with Ser Donall (and deciding to head to Redcliffe first instead of the Dalish) they followed Leliana to a room at the back where they found an old woman sitting in a chair. "Will you be making a donation to the Chantry? Our need has never been greater," the Mother asked.

Kallia realized it would be foolish to give nothing, they would be asking a favor of this woman after all. She decided they could spare something but never having had any money to donate to a chantry even had she wanted to, she had no idea how much. "What is a normal tithe to give?" she asked.

"Thirty silver is the most common."

Kallia pulled out her purse and inspected the contents. "I'm afraid all I can spare is ten silver," she told the woman. Had she given the thirty, they likely would have been able to get by but she didn't want to spend money when she didn't have to and these people likely wouldn't live to benefit from her donation anyway.

"One out of one is a more generous gift than ten out of thousands," the old woman told her as she took the coin Kallia handed to her. "What can I do for you?"

"I'd like to talk to about Sten."

The woman stood with obvious frustration and began pacing. "Perhaps it would have been kinder to execute him but… I have left his fate to the Maker."

"Would you release him into my custody?" Kallia asked. The mother looked her over.

"And have his next victims count me and you among their murderers? I think not. Who are you that you think I would release him to you anyways?"

"I am Kallia of the Grey Wardens."

Surely the Revered Mother wasn't going to attack her, especially in a Chantry.

The woman froze then sat heavily in the chair she'd been occupying when they had first entered the room. "You put me in a difficult position, Grey Warden."

"How so?"

"I cannot put this Chantry at risk helping those called traitors," the Mother told her. Kallia thought she didn't look as regretful as she probably should have. She took no joy in denying assistance but she certainly didn't seem sorry either.

"The Grey Wardens are not traitors," Kallia replied calmly, pushing her frustrations at having to repeat herself to everyone aside. Getting angry would accomplish nothing. "I need him to help me fight the darkspawn."

That seemed to make the woman come around. "To defend against the Blight? Perhaps that could be a form of atonement..." she trailed off in thought then sighed again. "You know your friends better then I, Leliana, what do you think on this matter?"

"These are... unusual times, your Reverence," Leliana frowned in distaste, _unusual_ didn't really cover it. "With us, the Qunari might do some good. I'm sure of it, in fact."

"But what if it is discovered this Chantry has assisted the Grey Wardens..." the Mother questioned, more to herself than anything.

"If you'd prefer, I can invoke the Right of Conscription. That will remove any blame from the Chantry, should it be discovered," Kallia told her. The lines on the woman's face became more relaxed.

"Were times not so desperate... Very well," the Mother handed the keys to Kallia. She nodded her thanks and turned to leave but Leliana's voice stopped her.

"Perhaps you would offer us your blessing, your Reverence?"

The Mother seemed hesitant for an instant, only the keenest of eyes would have caught it, but she quickly nodded her head. Alistair and Leliana knelt before the woman and Kallia hesitated but joined them a moment later. Even Mangy crouched down at Kallia's side when she knelt. Morrigan was the only one that remained standing. She crossed her arms and watched with distaste as the Mother recited her blessing. When she was finished she quickly added, "Now you should leave Grey Warden, before you cause us any more trouble."

Though she was in no hurry to make any member of the Chantry feel particularly comfortable, Kallia herself was uncomfortable and eager to be rid of the woman's presence. On their way back to Sten, Kallia noticed several new papers on the Chanter's Board. She likely would have ignored them, not wanting to waste any more time than they had to, but the young boy, she guessed no more than 14, standing next to the Chanter gave her pause.

Morrigan complained, but Kallia made a good argument and she (grudgingly) agreed. There was no need to convince the other three of her rag-tag group. Alistair and Mangy would follow her without question and Leliana clearly agreed that helping a child was a worthy cause. She left her mark on both postings (still using the Grey Warden pendant as her sign) arguing that while they were out they might as well do both. Morrigan grumbled but did not refuse.

It was not hard to find the bloodied body of the woman, though it was surrounded by wolves, but Alistair and Kallia had faced worse odds and quickly dispatched the animals. Kallia searched the body of the woman and found a pendant around her neck. It was a nice necklace for a farmer's wife, silver with a holy symbol of the Maker carved into the front. A deep red dye had been painted into the carved area to make the symbol more pronounced. It was a beautiful necklace, a good token for the boy.

The bears were easily taken care of, though the spiders were somewhat a nasty surprise.

They received the same cryptic thank you/blessing from Chanter Devon, gave the boy his token, and left town once and for all… even rescuing a couple of dwarves merchants on their way out of town.


	8. New to the Whole Tent Thing

_I got a lion this weekend! _

…_Ok maybe I actually got a cat but he looks like a lion…. A mini lion. Do you see my new avatar (the site says it might take up to 24 hours, so when you see an orange kitty its the new one)? That's my new lion._

_As always, a thank you goes to my special fishy. She threw her back out this weekend so I've been lacing her fishy food with pain medication. ;)_

_And of course, thanks to my reviewers Bingham Vance and Judy. Remebered to review (those of you who've been forgetting... that's right. You. The one sitting in front of the computer hehehe)_

_And on with the latest edition of Stars!_

.oO***Oo.

Their hodge-podge group found a nice stream to camp by for the night when Bodahn (the same Bodahn that had specifically said their journey might be a bit too "complicated" for him) had shown up. Alistair wasn't really surprised when Kallia said they could stay, he saw the way her face lit up when the young dwarven when she wanted an enchantment done. Alistair might not be the most observant of their group but even he was noticing Kallia's weak spot for children.

They were going to be royally screwed if the darkspawn had children.

Oh that was a thought… Do darkspawn have children or do they just pop out somewhere fully grown?_ Maybe they even popped out with armor and weapons too…_ That was a disturbing thought and Alistair decided he was done thinking about that.

With good timing too, Kallia was struggling to set up her tent. Sten seemed disinclined to help, Morrigan had gone off to her own fire, and Leliana was preoccupied with her own tent, so that meant it fell to him to help her. Not that he minded. After setting the tent up for her (no matter how hard she tried, it seemed Kallia simply couldn't figure it out) Alistair watched with a mixture of amusement and mild confusion as she set her bedroll up in front of the tent (not _in _the tent, _in front of_).

"I realize you're new to the whole camping with a tent thing," he finally started, "but the bedroll usually goes _in _the tent. It's rather the point. Of the tent, I mean."

Kallia looked up at him and gave him a smirk, "But I'm not tired of sleeping under the stars yet."

That night as they ate they waited for Leliana to begin one of her stories but instead she looked to Kallia. "I don't know a lot about growing up in the Tower. Why don't you tell us about that?"

Kallia was quiet for a moment, "I doubt you're interested. The only stories I know worth telling are the bedtime stories for the children."

"Ohh but we'd love to hear them!" Leliana exclaimed with a giggle and began clapping her hands like an excitable child.

Kallia sighed, "Alright, I haven't done this in a while so I'm a bit rusty but I'll try… Oh, I know. The Catching of Senior Enchanter Jess, it was a favorite amongst the children. Jess was a kind mage, but she was also very powerful. From the day she was brought to the Tower it was known she would be a great influence in the days to come.

"As she grew older, however, though Jess' power grew her body became frail, as all humans do. She knew her time was coming and she wished to see if she had any family left, but it is known that when you join the Tower you leave all family ties behind you, so she could not get permission to say goodbye to those that were once her family.

"No one knows how the old mage managed to sneak out of the Tower and across the lake, but she managed it somehow. It took her weeks to make her way to Denerim, where she found that much had changed. Her family no longer lived where they once had and she had no way of finding them. She was walking in the Market when she noticed the Templars Kalus and Darrion. Jess was about to turn herself into them when a terrible accident happened right in front of her.

"A young human boy, the son of the Arl of Denerim, was playing in the streets when he didn't notice a carriage coming right at him. The daughter of one of the servants had wandered off from her mother's side. She did see the carriage. The young girl never liked to see anyone get hurt, so she ran forward and shoved the young boy out of the way and she was run over instead. Jess felt the magic in the air just before the carriage ran the girl over however.

"The young girl was a mage and, though the Arcane Shield she summoned did not prevent her from getting hurt, it likely saved her from an instant death even though it was clear without help the girl would be dead soon anyway. It is said that the boy screamed and accused the young girl, for when she had pushed him out of the way he had scraped his knee and dirtied his clothes. But the young girl heard none of this, all she could hear was the blood rushing in her ears. All she knew in those moments was immense pain. A broken arm, a concussion, three cracked ribs and two broken, one of those broken ribs punctured her lung so no matter how hard she tried to breathe she could not.

"Kalus and Darrion were in the crowd and though Kalus wanted to help the girl, he knew little of healing and Darrion convinced him to leave her to her death. They were hot on Jess' trail and Darrion didn't want to lose her.

"Jess waited until the two Templars had left before breaking out of the crowd and running to the girl's side. She did what she could to heal the girl, likely saving the girl's life. As she healed she whispered in the girl's ear, 'We mages have few allies and even fewer friends. We must protect and preserve each other whenever possible.'

"Darrion and Kalus felt the magic in the air again and Kalus convinced Darrion to go back to check if the girl had managed to heal herself. When they returned to see Jess kneeling over the young girl, her hands glowing blue, Darrion drew his sword. Kalus told him to stay his hand until the girl was healed, but Darrion would have none of it. 'If the girl survives then we have to take her back,' he complained. Kalus could do nothing as Darrion came up behind Jess and trust his sword through her chest.

"Jess died with a smile on her face, knowing her final act had been to save the young girl. Kalus grabbed the girls hand and explained to her that they were taking her to her new home. Darrion grabbed the body of the elder mage, but did nothing to stop Kalus. The young girl made it to the Tower safely under the watchful gaze of Kalus."

As she finished her story, Kallia looked at her companions to see Leliana and Alistair giving her horrified looks. "They...They tell that story to children?" Leliana asked in disbelief.

Kallia nodded, "It's one of their favorites because of the happy ending."

"What happy ending?" the bard asked. Kallia didn't understand their reactions, so she frowned.

"The little girl survived."

"But they slaughtered the woman who saved her right in front of her!"

"But... the little girl survived..." Kallia repeated.

"A happy ending is usually where all of the good guys survive, not just one little girl," Leliana explained. "A good happy ending for that story would have been Jess killing Darrion to defend herself and then she and Kalus fall in love and run away together to raise the little girl as their own," the bard sighed dramatically as she imagined it in her head.

"But that isn't how it happened. Jess didn't kill Darrion, Darrion killed her..."

"You mean that's a true story?" Leliana wondered, again Kallia frowned in confusion.

"Of course it's a true story. Jowan and I heard it from Kalus himself."

"Oh… So if it was true, did you know the little girl then?"

"I... in a way I did," Kallia responded hesitantly. "Jowan did, they were close friends."

"And who is Jowan?" Leliana wondered with a smirk. Oh did Kallia recognize that look, it was girly-gossip time. She held back a groan.

"Jowan was my best friend at the Tower."

"And did you and Jowan ever-"

"Firewood!" Alistair yelled suddenly catching both girls attention. He was standing and even in the dim light of the fire they could tell he had gone bright red.

"But we have plen-" Kallia started before he interrupted again.

"I'll get more," his voice was a tad louder than necessary and the longer he stood there the higher pitched it became. Without waiting for another answer he turned suddenly and left.

Leliana giggled. "It looks like your Templar doesn't want to hear about your sexual exploits."

"He's not _my_ Templar and I doubt it has anything to do with me specifically. I'm sure this is just a topic he prefers to avoid in general. Templars are like that," Kallia told her. It reminded her of the way Cullen would always sputter when she flirted with him. Alistair would undoubtedly be embarrassed when he returned. "Leliana, why don't we go take a bath? I want to try heating the water," she suggested. When Leliana jumped up to grab towels Kallia couldn't help but sigh slightly. Leliana was just like an excitable child. Kallia called out to invite Morrigan, but the witch wasn't at her fire so Kallia simply ignored it.

The pond was rather small, barely more than a stream, but it was big enough for the two women. Kallia's control over her fire magic was tentative at best, so she ended up boiling the water but a bit of ice magic put the water was at pleasantly stinging temperature.

"So you never answered," Leliana started. "Did you and Jowan ever…"

Kallia laughed. "No, not with Jowan, that would have just been… creepy."

"Oh, why?"

"Jowan was always just… Jowan. I never saw him that way, I don't think I could have."

"Did you love him?" Leliana wondered, hearing how Kallia's voice had softened.

The mage smiled softly. "I did, but not in the way you're asking. Jowan was always there. I can't remember my life before the Tower and he had already been at the Tower a year before I arrived. I used to have to stay up late with him to help him study." She laughed sadly, "I remember one time, he was practicing… what was it… I think it was an arcane bolt. It backfired just as Irving came in. They were fine but I ended up being thrown across the room and cutting open my arm."

Kallia brought her arm out of the water to show the bard a jagged scar that ran across her inner forearm. "Irving rushed to heal me, it was quite deep, but I wouldn't let him. I told him I was going to sit there until Jowan healed me. Jowan, of course, protested but I told him every second he argued was a second less he had to heal me. He might not do well under pressure but I knew he wouldn't let anything happen to me." Her hand came up to trace along the scar, but then her words sunk in. "Though he had no problem leaving Lily and I to our fates..." The mage's eyes hardened as she remembered Jowan's betrayal. "I'm going to head back, enjoy the bath."

.oO***Oo.

It was their second night camping when Alistair felt the tug at the back of his mind. The one that signaled the archdemon was "talking" to the horde. He was awake at the time on watch but Kallia was asleep, not only that but she had yet to learn how to block the nightmares out. Seconds later he saw her twitch, then her face contorted into a painful grimace and within minutes she was thrashing around.

He called out to waken her, but didn't go near her. He'd learned from experience you don't actually want to be _near_ a Grey Warden when they wake up after one of the nightmares, particularly their first one. Sure enough, Kallia's first reaction after bolting upright in her bedroll was the Mind Blast spell she'd taught herself when the villagers attacked them at Lothering. Thankfully no one else's bedrolls were near hers (as they actually slept _in _their tents) and Mangy seemed unaffected as he continued to sleep.

He watched her look around with a wild sort of fear he'd never seen in her eyes before. She recovered herself quickly though, he was impressed, actually, on how quickly she'd composed herself. He'd fought tooth and nail (the other Grey Wardens had had the foresight to take away his sword and shield every night before bed) for nearly five minutes before he'd managed to calm down after his first Warden Nightmare.

"It was so real..." Alistair heard her mutter to herself, she hadn't even noticed him yet it seemed.

He waited for her eyes to settle on him before speaking, not wanting to startle her. "Well it is real... Sort of. Grey Wardens can _hear_ the darkspawn. We tap into their group mind. That's what your dream was: hearing them. The archdemon 'talks' to the horde. That's how we know this is a true Blight."

"The archdemon is the dragon, then?" Kallia asked him.

"Well I'm not sure if it's actually a dragon, but it certainly looks like one yes. Anyway, I saw you thrashing around and figured I should wake you."

"I appreciate it."

Alistair chuckled. "That's what I'm here for. To deliver bad news and witty one-liners."

"I... Can I sleep now? Is the archdemon done... 'talking'?" Kallia asked and Alistair shook his head.

"Do you feel a sort of tug at the back of your mind?" He waited for Kallia to nod, "That's the archdemon trying to pull you in. I wouldn't go to sleep until that feeling's gone, or you'll just have another nightmare."

Kallia made no reply as she took the top blanket off her bedroll, wrapped it around herself, and went to sit across from him by the fire. Alistair expected her to begin practicing her control of fire as he knew she did during her watch when everyone else was asleep, but was surprised when instead she just looked up at the stars.

She was quiet for several minutes before she frowned, her eyes never leaving the stars."Do you believe magic is a curse?" she wondered. Alistair blinked at the topic change, but she didn't appear to be wanting an answer. "Do you think that the Maker gave mages magic as a punishment or a gift?"

"I-"

"There was one girl at the Tower that prayed to the Maker everyday to forgive her for whatever sin she'd committed that caused Him to curse her with magic. I can't remember her name any more. I should. I should remember her name. I grew up with her, spent years with her there… I only left the Tower a month ago but I can't remember her name. I can't believe it's only been a month, it feels like a lifetime has passed..." Kallia sighed. "I have always thought it was a gift. I can do things most humans and elves can't, why should I not be grateful for that? What do you think? Gift or curse?"

Alistair was quiet for a minute. "I think magic is what you make it to be. I trust you with magic, but Morrigan? Or a Blood Mage?"

"Why do you hate her so much?" Kallia wondered. There was no emotion in her tone, she wasn't accusing him she was simply wondering.

"She's _mean_ and _evil _and-"

"She picks on you because you give her the reaction she wants. You make it fun to pick on you," Kallia informed him. She had seen it often enough with the children at the Tower.

"But she wouldn't find it fun to pick on me if she wasn't _mean_," he told her petulantly.

Kallia just sighed, a sodding mother…


	9. Alistair's Secret

_**This story is now rated T!**_

_Mainly I just upped the rating for safety…_

_If you're interested to see what Kallia looks like, I drew a picture of her and put it on deviantart. (Remember to remove the spaces)_

_http: / / fav .me /d2rtxh0_

_Also, Eva posted the first chapter of her story (second if you count the prologue as a chapter) so you should go check that out ^-^She's working on an image of Kallia too so when she gives me the link I'll post the link to hers as well._

_And of course thank you to my reviewers :) Bingham Vance, Eva Galana, and Fluid Consciousness. _

_I think Bingham Vance deserves a special mention, she hasn't missed a chapter since she started reading. (I'm not quite sure why I'm assuming you're a she, if you're a guy please don't be offended.)_

_Anyway, enjoy!_

.oO***Oo.

Kallia's merry band of misfits fell into a routine as the days toward Redcliff past. Kallia continued to sleep under the stars, much to Alistair and Leliana's amusement. At night Leliana would entertain them with stories from her days as a travelling minstrel in Orlias, Sten and Morrigan essentially kept to themselves, though Kallia managed to drag Morrigan into one or two conversations. Kallia didn't write in her journal every night, but she certainly wrote in it quite often. Often enough that she used one of the flasks they'd bought in Lothering to store her ink in rather than making a fresh batch every night.

Kallia didn't quite understand why people from outside the Tower seemed to be so stuck on their modesty, but after Alistair turned a shade of red she didn't even know existed after she walked around camp in her undergarments (she had been waiting for her robes to dry) Leliana tried to explain it to her. Kallia simply couldn't grasp the concept, apprentices and children had little to no privacy at the Tower, but when Alistair tossed her one of his spare tunics to wear to bed instead of her smallclothes she'd decided to simply save everyone the trouble and had worn it… If only to keep Alistair from spontaneously combusting.

Slowly Kallia became more accustomed to using her magic for the more mundane, everyday tasks. She lit the fire in the evening and put it out the next morning, she even used her Winter's Grasp to freeze the moisture in the air into the pot over the fire for drinking water when they were no longer next to a river. Kallia also put up an alert system around the camp that Morrigan had taught her. Well, She hadn't so much taught Kallia as she had set it up around her own fire which Kallia had then mimicked. For some reason she couldn't shake the feeling that in doing so she had earned Morrigan's approval.

Bodahn and Sandal traveled with them most of the way to Redcliff, but their paths split at a fork in the road a day or so's journey from the village.

Kallia noticed Alistair getting more and more fidgety the closer they got, but when asked he simply would brush it off with a joke so she simply assumed he would tell her if it was important and allowed the subject to drop. A voice in the back of her mind nagged her, saying the more she used magic the more nervous he got, but she pushed it aside as coincidence. Alistair was the one that encouraged her to use it more.

It was an hour before they usually stopped for camp when Alistair stopped them at the bottom of a hill. "Redcliff Village is just on the other side," he told them. "But it'll take about half a day to get there and we don't want to start and end up stuck on the hill in the dark. We should stop and camp now," Alistair looked to Kallia for whether or not she wanted to brave the hill in the almost dark.

She couldn't understand why he didn't think they should continue, there was a wide, well traveled road and the hill did not look that steep, but she trusted him with the directions. "Then we'll make camp," she nodded.

Alistair set up his own tent then set Kallia's up for her as well (she had gotten no better at assembling it on her own during their travels). She began to set up her bedroll in front of the tent as she had every other night but stopped at a whine from Mangy.

"You sure?" she asked and Alistair couldn't help but roll his eyes. She had insisted on continuing to pretend she could understand the dog. Mangy barked again. "Alright. Hmm I'd better put a shield over the fire as well, it might help keep the rain off."

"Rain?" Alistair asked, looked at the sky. "It's completely clear, it isn't going to rain tonight."

"Mangy says it is," Kallia told him, still setting up her bed in the tent.

"Mangy's a _dog_," Alistair told her, earning a growl from the animal. Kallia's head popped out between the flaps of her tent.

"Which is why I trust his nose over yours, seeing as you were just raised by them." Her head disappeared back into the tent.

Alistair knelt in front of the animal. "You know I hear that in olden days, they used to feed Mabari the flesh of the vanquished." Mangy let off a low whine. "Sometimes it would even be _human _flesh," Alistair spoke slowly, enunciating every word. Mangy made some gagging noises. "Oh like you can tell the difference, for all you know you've already been fed something… _someone_."

Alistair heard a light giggle from Leliana behind him. It was when another female cleared her throat he turned to see Kallia standing behind him with her arms crossed and an annoyed expression on her face. She sighed and let her arms drop back to her sides.

"Don't listen to Alistair," she told Mangy and crouched to his level. The dog darted past the man and into her arms where she scratched his neck lovingly. "He's full of rubbish."

"Hey!" Alistair cried, but she seemed to be paying more attention to the dog (who was rolling in the dirt and getting mud all over him while she scratched his belly). When dinnertime came, Kallia disappeared into her tent while the hare Leliana shot was skinned and prepared. Alistair could have sworn Mangy looked smug as he entered Kallia's tent with her.

"You like her," Leliana smirked as she whispered to him conspiratorially.

Alistair flushed, "What? No.. I... She... Kallia is just my friend... Sister in Arms... but I-I don't like her."

Leliana gave him a disbelieving look before calling out, "Kallia, we're done skinning the rabbit!"

"Leliana, are you singing those dirty songs again?" Kallia asked upon seeing Alistair's flushed state. Leliana giggled and Kallia took that as a yes. "I'm going to try and wash some of the muck out of these robes... Try not to make him catch fire."

Alistair was really beginning to hate Leliana's giggle. Kallia didn't giggle when she made fun of him, although Kallia didn't giggle at all... but that wasn't the point!

Leliana was trying to gode Morrigan into a conversation but Alistair stopped listening and grew fidgety again. He had something to tell Kallia, it wouldn't be fair to let her walk in and find out on the fly. It would make her look the fool, and fool was one thing she was not.

A fidgety Alistair is an impatient Alistair and he stood and followed Kallia without thinking. He found her bent naked and knee-deep in the stream. Naturally, he flushed and looked away, stumbling in his hurry and falling over. Kallia looked up at the loud noise he made. She made no move to cover herself which only caused him to flush more.

"Did you need something?" She asked, folding her arms over her chest which squeezed together her... Oh, Maker. Alistair shut his eyes.

"I'm just, uh, going to come back... when you're.. you know.. not..."

Kallia sighed. "I said I was going to wash my robes, did you think I was going to wash them while wearing them?"

"Well, nooo, but.."

Kallia cocked an eyebrow in amusement. "Did you have something you wanted to talk about?"

"Could you... maybe put some clothes on... or something?" Alistair asked, and Kallia fought a laugh as his voice raised several pitches.

"No. I only have the one robe, you knew this when you followed me."

"I, er, right. I'll just... face this direction... shall I?" he stuttered out and turned to face away from her. Kallia no longer found this amusing, he had obviously sought her out for a reason.

Mangy came breaking through the underbrush at that moment, a dirty off-white tunic in his mouth. She took the tunic from the dog and placed the shirt on herself. "You can turn around now…"

"I'm fine facing this way, thanks!"

Mangy choose that moment to start sniffing him (or more accurately certain parts of him), reminding Alistair of the reaction his body had to the fact that there was an almost naked woman behind him and that it was _his_ shirt Mangy had brought her and that she was naked under that shirt. That meant that her naked flesh was touching his shirt and the next time he put the shirt on it would be like her naked flesh was touching his naked flesh and that….

Mangy barked and he heard Kallia fighting a laugh. "I thought he might have," she informed the dog then he heard splashing as she got out of the water and walked to stand in front of him. He expected her to tease him, reprimand him, tell him that the body's urges were a sin (he wasn't wearing his armor so there was _no_way she missed the obvious reaction) but instead she just sat down next to him, in the corner of his eye but not in a way that encouraged the reaction any further than it had already gone.

"You came here for a reason, Alistair, what was it?" She prompted.

"I probably should have told you this earlier and I'm sorry for that," he hesitated, thinking over how exactly to tell her and hoping she wouldn't be too mad at him.

"Don't apologize, just tell me now," she told him.

"Right, well… I told you how Arl Eamon raised me and that my mother was a serving girl at the castle and he took me in, right?" he rushed to get it all out at once.

"Mmhm."

"Well the reason he did that was because…" he hesitated again but she remained silent, waiting. "Because King Maric was my father… Which would make Cailin my half brother, I suppose…"

She was quiet for a moment, contemplating as she took in this new information, but when he started fidgeting uncomfortably she realized his need to deflect with humor. "So…does that mean you're not just a bastard, but a royal bastard?" she asked, subtly letting him know she wasn't angry because he kept a secret from her while simultaneously giving him permission to joke so he would be more comfortable.

Alistair laughed with relief. "Yes, I guess it does at that. I should use that more often," he added thoughtfully. "I would have told you sooner but it never really meant anything to me… I was inconvenient, a possible threat, and everyone who knew either coddled me or resented me for it. Even Duncan kept me out of the fighting. And I didn't want you to know until the last possible minute, I'm sorry…"

"Don't apologize, we all have our secrets… for all you know I was the Empress of Orlais before they found out I was a mage."

Alistair laughed, "Oh really? Should I start calling you 'Empress' then?"

"You can call me whatever you want, whether or not I'll answer is another story," Kallia paused then added, "… Your Highness."

"I'm really gonna regret telling you, aren't I?" he groaned.

"Probably, but why did you tell me? Why now?"

"Because it will probably come up. I didn't want to walk into Redcliffe tomorrow without you knowing the truth, that would just be… awkward. But I have no illusions, they have made it very clear that I'm in no way in line for the throne and that's fine by me. No, if there's an heir to be found its Arl Eamon himself, he's not of royal blood but he was Cailin's uncle. But if he's really as sick as we've heard…" Alistair trailed off.

"Does Loghain know about you?"

"Why wouldn't he? He was King Maric's best friend. I don't know if that means anything though… Well there you have it. Now we can move on and you can go back to pretending I'm some nobody that was too lucky to die with the rest of the Grey Wardens."

Kallia squeezed his shoulder then used it to push herself up. She chuckled, "What does that make me then?"

"Some nobody that was too lucky to die with the rest of the Grey Wardens… Only you lead our motley crew of rejects and armed lunatics," he answered. "Welcome to the club."

Kallia chuckled slightly and stood to leave, pausing just before she disappeared through the treeline to say, "Oh by the way, it's a natural reaction and from what I can tell you have _nothing _to be ashamed of."

Then she was gone with Mangy trailing after her.

It was then that it started raining.


	10. An Old Friend

_Ah, happy monday. _

_Would you like to know why I post on Mondays (I'm just going to pretend all of you are nodding your heads yes because I'm sure that's actually what you're doing right now, right? ;] )_

_I post on Monday's because they are, in general, not a good day for really anybody. I mean, who wakes up on a Monday and goes "Yes! The weekends over!"? If it's you, I envy you :P However I hope that by posting on Mondays at least someone will wake up and be like "Hey, its a new chapter of Stars tonight. Today isn't so bad afterall." Because I'm sure this story means that much to you ;) Right? *Wink Wink Nudge Nudge*_

_As always, a thank you to my faithful beta fishy Evalyne. If you've checked out her story Abandoned Sanctuary be sure to check out my drawing of the main character from her story, Aslinn (make sure to remove the spaces from the link)._

http: / / fav . me / d2s8cf3

_And of course thank you to all of my reviewers: Bingham Vance, Eva Galana, Angela, USAF713. _

_On with the story... Enjoy!_

.oO***Oo.

He had a plan.

He had a blight blasted plan all along.

And Kallia couldn't help but think it would have been nice to know about it before some snooty woman who ignored her until the very last second (because she was an elf, Kallia was sure) showed up. And_ then_ she was a bitch to Alistair, and right now that just didn't sit well Kallia. Whether it actually had anything to do with Alistair or if it was because this woman just rubbed her the wrong way she didn't know.

But she was also sure this Isolde wasn't telling them everything.

And the woman was definitely good at playing the damsel in distress card.

_I came for help,_ she says.

_You have to come alone,_ she says.

_Here, let me lead you into a trap that can only result in death and suffering, _she says.

"Either this is a trap or the defenders of this castle are idiots, I suspect both," Sten grumbled as they climbed down the ladder to the secret path to the castle.

Kallia sighed but did not reply as she opened the door where several more of the corpses they had defeated in town stood waiting for them. She really wasn't in the mood for the 'I told you so' that Sten was thinking, it might not show on his face but she just _knew_ he was thinking it.

Once they'd defeated and looted what they could off the corpses Kallia went to move on to the next room but stopped when she heard a noise from one of the cells. Instinctively she Mind Blasted, earning a grunt from Alistair who was standing close enough to feel the effect, but thankfully not close enough to be stunned. She gasped when she saw a familiar form crouched over clutching his head.

"Jowan?" she whispered. Alistair looked between her and the hunched man questioningly. The name set off some alarm bells, he remembered something about a Jowan dragging her into a mess, but she had never really been specific.

The figure looked up at his name."By all that holy... Kali! I can't believe it... I never thought I'd see you again." Alistair didn't like this man or the way Kallia's eyes filled with regret and sadness as she looked at him. He particularly hated the familiarity with which the man called her _Kali_. "Of all people..." The man at least seemed happy to see her, though he was definitely worse for wear. Of course, Alistair thought, if it had been him in that state, he probably would have been happy to see anyone that wasn't about to go at him with a knife or hot poker too.

Suddenly Kallia's eyes hardened with realization and anger. "So you're the mage Isolde mentioned," she said coldly.

The relief in the other mage's eyes faded slightly. "You've spoken with her then, you know I... I poisoned the Arl." Alistair's anger grew with that but he got the feeling now would be a bad time to interrupt the conversation. Something told him that as angry as he was at this mage, Kallia had unfinished business with him first.

"Is that how it is then, Jowan? Just one more crime you've committed," she spat.

Jowan frowned at her. "Kali, what happened to you? You're so… angry..."

"I don't know, it might have something to do with the fact that my best friend lied to my face and left me to my death. That might have something to do with my anger," Kallia told him. Jowan froze and looked at her.

"Death?" he whispered.

"Yes, Jowan. Death or worse… Tranquily+," she told him tiredly. She suddenly felt Alistair's eyes burning a hole in her back.

"But…why?"

"Did you really think Greagoir would let it go once you escaped?" she asked. "Someone had to take the blame… the punishment."

"I didn't think… I didn't know… Kali, I-I know how this looks. Poisoning the arl was terrible but I'm not behind everything going on here!"

"A likely story," Alistair muttered.

"He's not lying," Kallia scoffed.

"How did you know?" Jowan questioned with relief.

"Have you forgotten who it was that stayed up late with you every night for a month teaching you how to summon an arcane bolt? Who healed your burns when you lit your bed on fire because you just never could quite get the hang of primal spells? Even at your most powerful, Jowan, you were never capable of this. What happened?"

The other mage crossed his arms suddenly looking resolute, "Before I tell you I need you to answer one question." He took on a look of desperation, "What happened to Lily? She didn't know about me, I should have told her but..… Please, is she alright?"

"You should have told _me_," Kallia glared at him and he winced. "Why do you care what happened to her? You had no problem attacking the Templars and Irving then leaving Lily and I to our fates… The First Enchanter, Jowan? Really?"

"_Please_ Kali, I had no choice…"

"You had a choice, you just didn't like it!" Kallia yelled. Alistair was beginning to get uncomfortable, he could feel the magic in the air and Kallia's temper was beginning to heat the area around her.

"Kali, please… I just… I need to know… then I'll accept whatever fate you have for me," Jowan begged.

"Jowan, you fool," Kallia shook her head, she briefly considered lying to him, telling him that Lily was fine and happy back at the Tower, but her anger would not let her comfort him. "The Chantry sent her away, I don't know where."

"Oh Lily," Jowan put his head in his hands. "This is all my fault!"

"Yes, it is," Kallia answered. Alistair frowned, he remembered her saying she only made people face the brutal truth when there was a point to it. She was certainly giving the impression she was just going to kill this mage when she got her questions answered… so why wasn't she at least going to let him die in peace thinking this Lily woman safe? "Now I've answered your questions. Answer mine: What happened here?"

Jowan started hesitantly. "I've had some time, quiet some time in fact," he laughed humorlessly, "to figure out what must have happened. Connor had started to show... signs. Lady Isolde was terrified that the Circle was going to take him away. She looked for an apostate to teach him in secret, so he could hide it. The arl had no idea, she said he would do the right thing even if it meant losing their son. "

"How did you expect to teach him magic, Jowan? You can barely control it half the time, the only time I've seen you have a relatively decent amount of control was when you attacked-" Kallia suddenly got a horrified look on her face. "Jowan, you didn't teach him-"

"No, no!" he interrupted. "He's too young, he can barely even cast a basic spell."

"Age has nothing to do with control. I was three years younger than you when I was moved to the apprentice quarters," she muttered under her breath. Jowan didn't hear her.

"He doesn't have nearly enough power to do something like this... At least, not intentionally. What if Connor accidently did something to tear open the Veil?"

Kallia looked over her shoulder and saw her companion's confusion. "With the Veil torn, demons and spirits could pass into our world. Powerful ones would be capable of creating the walking corpses," she explained to them.

"Kali, I've made a lot of mistakes, but I'm sick of running and trying to hide from what I've done. Please, let me try to fix it," Jowan begged. "We were friends once and maybe I don't deserve to call you that anymore but if it ever meant anything to you, help me fix this."

"Why should I believe anything you say to me now, Jowan? You lied straight to my face. You lied to me and you lied to Lily."

Kallia did not like having this emotional conversation in front of people. These were the conversations you hid from the Templars at the Tower, the ones that could make you lose control of your magic. Her rage at Jowan's betrayal had already increased the temperature around her by several degrees. She was more surprised that she _wasn't _surprised that Alistair hadn't put a sword in her back. The realization that she had come to trust him was startling for her, but then again she had once trusted Jowan and look where that got her.

"I'm still the same Jowan you know. If the Kali I once knew, the Kali I called sister, is still in there somewhere I know that she will help me do what's right. "

"I say kill the mage, you have said yourself he cannot be trusted," Sten said.

"He doesn't need to _die,_ surely," Alistair argued with him. He knew Kallia would probably come to regret it later if she killed the mage standing in front of them. Undoubtedly the Arl would kill the mage that had brought such horror to his arling, but there was no reason for Kallia to be the one to bear the guilt of killing her once-best friend.

"He wishes to redeem himself, doesn't everyone deserve that chance?" Leliana added.

Kallia heard their words and yet she also didn't. She was too caught up in her own thoughts, her sisterly love for Jowan battling with his betrayal. Alistair's hand on her arm brought her back to reality. "He's your friend, you know him best," he told her gently.

She reached her hand to the side and grabbed the keys hanging on the wall. "You're letting me out? What then?"

"Stay or go, I don't care anymore. You're on your own."

"'I can't leave. I have to make this right," Jowan insisted. He went back the way they had come in so she didn't know if his insistence was simply one more lie or if he went back to help the villagers but she had told him she didn't care anymore. Now she just had to convince herself that she didn't…

Anger made that an easy task.

They battled their way through the corpses, finally making to the court yard. While the corpses they found there battled with her companions, Leliana did her best to sneak past them to the lever and soon had the gate open. Ser Perth and the rest of his knights rushed in. Once all the corpses lay dead, Ser Perth approached Kallia.

"Shall we enter the castle together? My men and I are eager to see our Arl."

Kallia nodded, "We should hurry."


	11. To Save A Child

_It's been such a long week. I'm not really sure why… it hasn't been particularly bad or anything. In fact, compared to the last few weeks it's actually been a pretty good one… *Sigh* I dunno._

_The good news is I actually managed to get some writing done this weekend ^-^ Yaay Janec!_

_In other news, I have just discovered that Deviant Art has a fanfiction section so I'm going to be publishing Stars there as well :)_

_In other, other news… I'm not getting much of a return on a poll I posted on my profile for whether I should continue sticking with the default "Chapter #" chapter names or whether I should go with real chapter names, but both of the responses I've gotten want me to go with chapter names. So here's the deal, if you have a creative name for one of the chapters that's already been published (including this one) feel free to leave it in a review and I might end up using it!_

_That being said, I'm going to be changing the poll on my profile to something else so please check it out and leave your opinion :D_

_As always thanks to my beta fishy Eva and my reviewers. _

_Phwew, that was a long Author's Note._

_And now back to our regularly scheduled program:_

.oO***Oo.

Alistair knew he was glaring. He honestly didn't care. She apparently hadn't thought it was necessary to tell him her old friend was a _blood mage_… She had made her decision and hadn't even consulted him or anyone else in the party; Not that he thought Morrigan would object and Sten objected to just _being_ there. He wasn't entirely sure Mangy could _have_ an opinion and _if_ he could he'd probably just agree to anything Kallia did so he didn't count.

But Leliana would have stood by him... Probably... Maybe... Ok, so she specifically said she was against killing Connor… but there were other options. Other _non-blood magic _options.

"Wait one second," Kallia said. His anger froze in his chest, had she changed her mind? Had she realized there was a better solution (even if Alistair didn't know exactly or even remotely what it could be)?

But no... she was digging through her pack for something. He frowned when she handed him a sheathed dagger. Kallia smiled at him weakly. "You know what to do," she told him. He frowned and pulled the dagger out of the sheath.

His stomach fell to his feet.

It was a beautiful dagger. The hilt was hollow and made of thick glass with what looked like liquid rubies filling it and running in one long vein up the center of the rose quartz blade. To most it would be nothing but a decorative knife, but not to Alistair. He knew what this "decorative knife" really was.

A Harrowing dagger.

Alistair knew that the blade was not rose quartz but crystallized mage bane and that it was not liquid ruby that filled the hilt and vein, but blood. Kallia's blood.

To anyone but Kallia, this really would be just a pretty knife.

To Kallia it meant certain death.

When her blood coated the blade, it would reverse the crystallization and the poison would quickly spread throughout her bloodstream. It would only take a matter of minutes to kill her and once the poison was in there was no getting it out. He'd only seen it once before but it did not look like a painless death. Surely she did not expect him to...

But she was already giving Jowan the go ahead.

Mangy would kill him if he had to use it... but she had already taken care of that, hadn't she? Mangy was standing guard over Connor.

"Kallia, this is..." He started. Jowan had already started the ritual.

She looked over her shoulder. "It is," she confirmed.

"But I only ever watched one Harrowing, I can't do this." This was precisely why he didn't want to be a Templar, she knew this. His horror must have shown on his face because she gave him a gentle smile.

"One is more than anyone else here can say, Alistair. You can do this. I _need_ you to do this."

And then she was gone, falling backwards with her eyes still open, and Alistair rushed forward to catch her out of instinct. Why hadn't she lain down? _Because she was busy reassuring you_, a voice in his head whispered.

He quelled his anger at her for the moment, she trusted him to do this and he had no choice but to do so. He might not like it but she was right in asking him to do this. He unsheathed the dagger and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Her whole body tensed suddenly and she coughed. A two inch cut appeared on her left cheek. Alistair stood and grabbed the front of Jowan's robes. "What's happening?" He demanded. Physical damage was not normal when in the Fade as far as he was taught.

"She's probably fighting the demon! Kali has always had a strong connection to the Fade," Jowan rushed to get out. "Whatever happens to her there happens here. Why do you think she was the First Enchanter's apprentice?"

"So then this is normal?" he held the robes tighter for good measure.

"For her, yes."

"Then why does she need me to stand over her?" He gritted out.

"Because there's no guarantee that if she's defeated in the Fade her body will die. She's always told me she'd rather die with a dagger at her throat than wake up an abomination without one."

Alistair gave him one last glare for good measure before returning to her side, even less confidant about being the one to hold the dagger.

.oO***Oo.

"No more illusions," the demon explained. "Clearly they are not enough to sway you."

Kallia arched an eyebrow and remained silent. She was not doing well, the battle here had taken more out of her than she had expected it to. She had rested a moment to regain her mana but that did nothing for the burning in her ribs, she was fairly certain at least one was cracked, maybe two. She had a cut on her cheek, she's managed to heal that enough to stop the bleeding but the ribs were beyond her skill. Not for the first time she cursed her lack of skill at healing herself.

She listened to the demon's offer, if she could get out of this with without fighting she certainly wouldn't complain. But the demon was determined, she would release Connor temporarily but she would be back. While there was a chance she would lose track of time and he would be dead by the time she went to make good on the contract it wasn't a risk Kallia could take. To have been able to summon such a powerful demon so young, Connor would be a powerful mage one day. If she couldn't kill the demon now then it might be impossible to do it later.

Knowledge, power, love the demon offered. Her last chance to change her mind.

She didn't.

.oO***Oo.

She was having trouble breathing, bruises were starting to form, but the cuts on her face were magically knitting themselves together. Not completely, but just enough. Alistair felt useless. All he could do was sit here and hope it was her that woke.

When she finally blinked and groaned he wasn't entirely sure what to do. As far as he could tell it was still her.

"It's done, the demon is dead," she groaned out with her eyes still closed. She made no move to sit up. Alistair just sheathed the dagger and set it down then left the room. His hands were shaking. All of the concern he had felt turned to anger two fold.

Anger at her and anger at himself.

.oO***Oo.

After informing them the task was complete, Kallia had quickly fallen asleep. Teagan picked the young elf up off the floor. "We have enough empty rooms in this castle for you to each have your own," he told the group. He gave Kallia the grandest guestroom, usually reserved for royalty. Ser Perth had picked up the dagger Alistair left on the floor beside her and carefully put it into her pack, he guessed there was some significance to it. He followed Teagan with the bag.

Morrigan and Leliana were left with the healing poultices and injury kits they had remaining to dress her wounds while Teagan went to check on Connor. The boy was in the library reading an Orlesian fairytale his mother often told him. He seemed completely unaware that anything out of the ordinary had happened.

Teagan then made his way to Kallia's room where he waited outside her door until the women came out. He showed them to their rooms and told them to get some sleep or if they were hungry they were welcome to anything in the kitchen larder. They opted for sleep; it had been a tiring day.

In Morrigan's better-than-thou way she hinted he should make sure there was food in the room for Kallia when she woke, so Teagan himself went to the kitchens and grabbed a loaf of bread. On his way back to her room he stopped by Eamon's study, where he knew Alistair would go to stew in his anger but the young ex-Templar had made it clear he wanted to be left alone so Teagan had gone to leave the bread for Kallia.

He knocked on the door and was surprised to hear her call out to come in. She was trying to sit up when he entered the room; this was not made easy by her ribs.

"Should I fetch one of the other women to help you, my lady?" Teagan asked, finding it improper for him to even be in the room let alone help her sit up when all she had on was a sleeping tunic.

"Don't be ridiculous," she held her hands out and it only took him a moment to realize what she was asking for. He set the bread on the table and walked forward to grab her extended hands and pulled her forward. Once she was sitting up straight she was able to get herself situated. "You should be sleeping, I'm sure you haven't had a decent night's sleep since this started," she scolded lightly.

"You're dark haired friend implied it would be wise to have food for you when you woke," he answered and handed her the bread from the table. "At least I think she did... it was difficult to tell if she was insulting me or suggesting it."

Kallia laughed at his confusion, causing her hand to dart to her side as she fought a wince. She took the bread gratefully. "While I don't doubt that she was insulting you I wouldn't take it to heart, she insults everyone. How is Connor doing?"

"He does not seem to recall anything that's happened, I found him in the library reading as though this were any other day," Teagan explained.

"That's normal. He'll probably also make his way to this room eventually, as well," Kallia informed him.

"Why is that, my lady?"

"It's a long complicated explanation, one I have neither the time nor the energy to explain. You don't really need to worry about it anyway; all you need to know is that Connor is safe and Eamon will live if I have any say in the matter," she told him tiredly.

"Thank you, Lady Kallia, for all you have done for Redcliffe."

Kallia shook her head. "Do not thank me yet, until this Blight is ended all I have done is postpone your deaths. And please, Teagan, don't call me 'Lady'. I'm a mage and have no rights to the title."

"My dear lady… My dear _woman_," he corrected at a look from Kallia. "The people of this village can do little to thank you for your assistance. Allow us this courtesy for our own ease of mind and if there is anything I or Redcliffe can do to assist you, please let us know."

Kallia looked him over. "If we are to find these ashes for you we'll need to know where to look, but you can worry about that tomorrow. You look dead on your feet."

"I believe Isolde used Eamon's study to keep all of the research. In one of the drawers of his desk I think, though I don't recommend going there now..." Teagan trailed off thinking of Alistair sitting in the study. Kallia gave him a look that made it perfectly clear she had no intentions of digging around someone else's desk past midnight while she was injured. They said their goodnights and Teagan left. Kallia sat back in the pillows he had helped her prop up against the headboard.

Breathing hurt; not as badly as it had before and nowhere near as badly as broken ribs but it was far from comfortable. She finished off the loaf he'd given her with a bit of surprise. She's heard that being in the Fade made you hungry, but to eat an entire loaf of bread in one sitting? Now that she thought about it she'd been snacking quite a bit for the last few weeks as well... she would have to ask Alistair if it was a Grey Warden thing… Well, if he ever spoke to her again that is.

.oO***Oo.

Alistair had gone to Eamon's study to fume. Teagan had stopped by to let him know he had checked on Connor and the boy remembered nothing. Alistair had simply grunted and had ignored the slight question in the other man's voice as to whether that was normal. Alistair had wondered why the young Bann was carrying an entire loaf of bread with him, but had been in no mood to question him. Teagan had quickly gotten the message that he wanted to be alone and left.

Alistair had paced for a while, trying to work off the extra energy his anger had given him, but it had helped only a little. He was convinced he would be getting no sleep that night but he didn't think that was too big a deal. Kallia would need a day or so to recover fully from her injuries anyway.

In the back of his mind, he'd only just realized he felt the use of an unfamiliar magic when he felt a nudge at his mind that had him laying his head on the Arl's desk and closing his eyes into an unnatural sleep.

.oO***Oo.

_Ohh, I'm so cruel. A cliffhanger…_


	12. Chapter 12

_I couldn't do it! I could not be cruel and make you wait a week. _

_Remember to review since I'm being so nice ;)_

.oO***Oo.

When Alistair opened his eyes he looked around him, surprised to find himself standing in the courtyard at Redcliffe. However, unlike mere hours earlier, there were none of the fresh signs of battle. No rotting corpses, no dead bodies, no neglected and over grown grass… It looked exactly as it had when he was a child with a green, well taken care of yard, a small garden, and plenty of pace for guards and knights to train.

He was also surprised to note that not only had they apparently thrown him outside into the strangely spring-like courtyard (when he was sure he had fallen asleep in mid-summer), they'd also apparently allowed him to oversleep. It had been past midnight when he'd fallen asleep but the sun was now high in the sky. He'd been asleep for nearly twelve hours!

Not to mention after the events of the last two days, the courtyard should have been bustling with people, Alistair was more than slightly unnerved to find it completely empty besides himself.

"You're angry with Kali."

Ok, so maybe not empty. Alistair rounded on his feet to see who was intruding on the silence not even bugs dared to interrupt and was surprised to see the blood mage standing before him.

Instinctively Alistair's hand flew to his back for his sword only to find it missing. He frowned and patted around his back several times thinking maybe the sheath had shifted from its usual position. His frown only deepened when he looked up to see them sitting at Jowan's feet.

"What did you do with everyone, blood mage?" Alistair demanded angrily. He'd known the blood mage couldn't be trusted.

Jowan looked around him, clearly confused by Alistair's statement. "W-with who?" he stuttered out.

"Everyone!" Alistair yelled, causing the already nervous mage to flinch and take an unconscious step backwards.

The mage looked around him again, "Where do you think we are...?" he finally wondered.

Alistair looked at him like he was crazy. "The courtyard at Redcliffe."

Jowan's widen in surprise as realization settled onto his face. "We're in the Fade... I sorta followed you into your dream," the mage told him but quickly added, "I have a good reason, I swear!" when Alistair looked ready to either yell at or attack him.

"So you can 'sorta follow' me into the Fade but you couldn't 'sorta follow' Connor?"

"It's not the same thing..." Jowan scratched his head and his face contorted in confusion. "Kali was always the one that understood the magical theories... I'd say she could explain it to you but its blood magic-"

"You used blood magic on me?" Alistair yelled angrily.

"With good reason!" Jowan hastily insisted, then chuckled humorlessly and shook his head. "I'm not stupid enough to harm someone Kali cares about. She'd probably kill me just for being here..." Jowan murmured quietly.

Suddenly the mousey young mage had disappeared and in his place stood a weathered older brother who just wanted to look out for his little sister. An older brother that was doing something he knew his little sister would hate him for but did it anyway because it was for her own good.

The mage sighed before he began speaking again. "I know you have no reason to believe anything I say or even to listen to me... but please listen. Kali doesn't care about things often. She took the stories and the nursery rhymes we grew up with a bit too much to heart, I'm afraid, and rarely allows herself to get attached to anyone or anything. Especially after…_." _Jowan trailed off and shook his head. "But when she does, she gets so caught up in taking care of them that she forgets to take care of herself."

The blood mage was quiet for a moment, letting the Templar take in this information, waiting to see if he would allow him to continue talking. When the Templar made no move against him, Jowan continued. "Sometimes she just needs someone to look after her… Make sure she sleeps before she collapses from exhaustion, make sure she eats, heal her even when she's too stubborn to let you. She nearly bled to death once because she said I needed to learn to heal and Irving probably won't be there the next time to heal her when she passes out!"

Jowan was clearly upsetting himself, his rambling only serving to make him more upset. Alistair, on the other hand, remained mostly stoic; a frown only managed to make it to his face at the mention of Kallia bleeding to death.

Jowan shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair, managing to calm himself. "I know despite your disagreement earlier you _do_ still care about her. Promise you'll take care of her for me." His eyes came up and met Alistair's, but when the Templar remained silent, he pleaded again, "Promise me you'll take care of Kallia. Please! If not for me, then do it for her. Do it for Irving, she's the closest thing he's got to a daughter."

Alistair gave no answer and after a minute of silence Jowan hung his head and faded out of existence.

.oO***Oo.

Kallia was uncertain how long she rested against the headboard with her eyes closed, but a light tapping at her door startled her out of her almost-sleeping state. "Come in," she called. Kallia felt like laughing at herself and if laughing didn't hurt quite so much at the moment she might have actually done so. She'd never had a room that people actually knocked before coming into before, she'd never had a room of her own period. It made her feel a little ridiculous.

She wasn't surprised to see Connor standing at her door looking somewhat nervous and clutching a book to his chest for dear life. "I'm sorry to bother you, miss. I-I'm not entirely sure why I'm here, actually..."

Kallia smiled gently at the boy. "Perhaps you were just lonely. What book is that?"

"A story about the Bow of the Golden Sun. It was my mother's favorite. Uncle told me she died but no one will tell me how," Connor frowned, he sounded close to tears. Kallia patted the bed next to her on the side where her ribs weren't injured. Connor took the invitation instantly and curled up under her arm.

"Your mother died to save you, Connor," Kallia told him gently.

"She died to save me from being a mage?" he asked innocently. Kallia couldn't help but frown.

"Why would you think that?"

"I heard her one night. I wasn't supposed to be out of my room but Mother had just brought my new teacher to the castle and I wanted to meet him so I snuck out. She asked him if there was any way to make me stop being a mage… she said she'd even die if that's what it took to take the magic away from me. Jowan told her that the only way to stop me from being a mage would leave me an empty shell so she asked him to help me hide it. Said she couldn't stand the thought of people knowing she had produced one of his kind."

Kallia forced her anger away at the woman and continued to run her fingers through Connor's hair gently. "Is that what you think, Connor? Do you wish you had nothing to do with magic?"

"No!" Connor's eyes lit with excitement. "No magic is… is exciting!"

"Even if you have to leave home to study it? Most likely never to return?"

"Didn't you do the same thing? You left your home and family behind to become a Grey Warden, didn't you?"

"Yes," Kallia hesitated. She wanted to add that it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. She was a lot older than him when she left everything behind and she hadn't really left it by choice.

But of course, thinking of leaving home behind meant thinking of home.

It meant thinking of Irving who she could always count on to hold her back when she needed to, to let her lessons on her own when she was too stubborn to let him teach her the easy way, to encourage her when she needed that extra boost.

It meant thinking of Cullen and his nervous stuttering. She remembered one time she'd offered to have sex with him and he'd barely managed to get an excuse out before he'd gone running from the room. His sweet thoughtfulness. His rare compassion towards the mages. His ability to see a mage as just a person.

It meant thinking of Greagoir. His disapproving scowl when she and Jowan would be sent to his office. She would take Jowan's punishment right alongside him and, even though everyone knew it had been Jowan's idea or plan and he had likely been the one to follow through on it, everyone had let her take the punishment with him. The way she saw it, it was her job to keep him out of trouble and if she failed at that then she deserved the punishment as much as he did.

And it meant thinking of Jowan, but those thoughts were quickly shoved away. He was a betrayer. He was a blood mage. He was _not_ the older brother who had always acted more like a younger brother. She was not the little sister that had done her best to keep him out of trouble. She was not the little sister that made sure he studied, that helped him with his magic while he helped her with the more administrative type classes. No, he wasn't the Jowan she grew up with. _That_ Jowan was dead.

"Yes, I suppose I did leave my home behind, didn't I?" she repeated, Connor didn't notice the way her voice faltered

.oO***Oo.

The next morning, Kallia woke to find the young boy curled up at her side. This was no surprise, he had fallen asleep while she read him the story. What was a surprise was that she herself had somehow managed to maneuver herself down under the blankets, blow out the candles, and set the book (now miraculously closed) on the nightstand.

Mangy was curled up on a dog bed by the fireplace, though he raised his head to look at her when he heard movement from the bed. Seeing her looking at him, he walked up to the side of the bed and rested his head near her hand. She smiled as she moved to scratch it for him. Kallia managed to hide the wince the movement caused but it did no good, the dog could smell the pain in her scent and immediately licked her hand apologetically at being the reason for the movement that caused the pain.

"M'ning," she muttered, though normally a morning person the stress of the night before was taking its toll on her. She carefully maneuvered her arm out from under Connor's head and slipped from the bed.

Every joint and muscle in her body protested the movement but Kallia fought to ignore it. It wasn't unbearable pain, just simple aches. The mage knew at least three different teas she could make for herself to alleviate some of the aches, but she doubted Redcliffe had stocked willow bark _before_ the kitchens had been destroyed by walking corpses, let alone after.

Kallia glanced at her backpack sitting in the corner of the room and sighed sadly. She'd had an herbal waist pouch from the Tower before Ostagar. Just one of the many things lost or destroyed in that attack. Kallia had very few possessions that meant anything, almost everything she owed was replaceable, that was why one of her two pairs of robes being destroyed didn't really bother her beyond the fact that only having one set was annoying.

Her journal and herb pouch though… those were irreplaceable. Important.

Every mage with any sort of training in herbalism carried a waist pouch that they kept stocked with the ingredients they were authorized to work with. The number of herbs Kallia had been allowed to use was impressive for her level and age, most weren't allowed to even use the Distilling Agent under supervision until they'd been through their Harrowing but Kallia had been allowed to use it unsupervised when she was still an apprentice. Meaning she had been allowed to carry it in her pouch.

The pouch itself had been one of the only remnants of her life before the Tower that she had. Kallia thought it belonged to her mother, but she remembered nothing of it. Not what her mother had used it for or why Kallia had been carrying it when the two Templars had found her and brought her with them. Jowan had once told her the herbal pouch represented her perfectly. The pouch itself representing what she once was and the contents representing what she had become.

Kallia didn't even want to think about the symbolism of it being destroyed in the attack on Ostagar.

Irving had given her the journal when she had received her golden robes and Circle ring. Unable to stop herself she dug the small book out of her pack and ran her fingers over the cover lovingly. He'd cast so many charms and spells on this book, far more than should be necessary considering at the time it would likely have spent it's life in a drawer in her desk. But for some reason Irving had felt the need to make it waterproof, dirt-proof, fire-proof, and so many others. When he had given her the journal the only useful charm she found was one that made it so the book never ran out of pages but neither would it get any thicker to accommodate the additional pages that would be added over time.

She'd tried to pick that charm out of the others, but it seemed the spells were all woven together too tightly and too intricately to find just one spell amongst all the others unless you already knew what you were looking for.

A light tapping at her door and a quiet, "My Lady?" brought Kallia's attention away from the book in her hands.

Mangy made a quiet noise, letting her know that it was Teagan at the door. Kallia huffed at him, "I know," she muttered too quietly for the human's ears to pick up. She opened the door and held a finger to her lips. He followed her unspoken command to remain silent as she stepped out into the hallway and shut the door behind her.

She paid little attention to the redness that crept onto his face when he caught sight of her state of dress. She was wearing the tunic Alistair had given her when her lack of modesty had proved too much for him. Unfortunately for Teagan, while it covered more than she'd originally walked around in at camp, it was far more of any woman's body he was used to seeing.

The shirt was thin, making the outline of her body inside the shirt quite distinguishable even in the low light of the hallway. It was a short sleeved shirt and though on Kallia's small form the "short" sleeves reached her elbows, the hem of the shirt only went to two inches above her knees.

All in all, the tunic left very little to the young Bann's imagination and he pointedly kept his eyes on her face.

"Forgive my, my lady, but I wished to return this," Teagan told her, holding out her robes. They had clearly been washed and scrubbed. They weren't as gold as they had originally been but Kallia had no doubt it had taken much effort to get them to the color they were now.

She reached her hand out to take them hesitantly, not used to having her clothes washed for her. At the Tower your robes were your own responsibility. Wash, clean, mend… No one did it for you unless they had a reason.

Mistaking the reason for her hesitation, Teagan explained, "When I couldn't find Connor, I remembered your statement last night that he would likely make his way here… Forgive me for intruding, Lady, but I didn't want to wake you and then I came in and you were sleeping in a position that couldn't have been comfortable with your ribs… I asked one of the stronger maids to move you and when she saw the state of your robes she insisted on cleaning them. You saved not only her life, but apparently protected her husband during the attack on the village last night as well."

Kallia was genuinely surprised by the gesture and hugged the robes to her chest carefully as though they might break if applied too much pressure to them. "Oh… Thank you… Thank her for me," she told him.

Teagan sensed her need for a topic change and, being the gentleman that he is, quickly acquiesced. "You mentioned last night you wanted to read the documents Isolde had gathered about the ashes?" he prompted.

"Yes, it would be helpful. So far all we've managed to gather is that we need to make our way to Denerim to meet with a Brother Genetivi. I would really like to know more about what I'm looking for."

"Perhaps you'd like to join me for breakfast in the main hall? I can tell you what I know while we wait for the other's to join us, if you wish," he offered.

Kallia smiled. "That would be useful, thank you." She began walking towards the main hall but Teagan cleared his throat to catch her attention. When she turned to look at him, he flicked his eyes to her sleep clothes. She glanced down to see what he was looking at, finally catching on to his discomfort she made her way back into her room grumbling about humans and their strange sense of modesty.

She changed behind the screen in her room after finding Connor awake when she re-entered and figuring he would probably have the same strange values as the other humans she knew. When she exited the room several minutes later, Connor's hand with a fistful of her skirt as he trailed behind her like the magelings at the Tower so often did, she found Teagan waiting for her and they began making their way toward the dining hall.

.oO***Oo.

_For those interested, the Bow of the Golden Sun is codex 41_

_http: / / dragonage . wikia . com/ wiki / Codex_Entry:_The_Bow_of_the_Golden_Sun_


	13. Fire & Research Don't Mix

_Wow, that week went fast! I hope everyone had a fun 4__th__ of July (to those who celebrate it anyway). If you're interested, my 4__th__ was quite fun. We all took our laptops into my brother's room and played computer games before dinner and fireworks. _

_I have a job interview tomorrow so everyone needs to cross their fingers for me :)_

_Anyway, less about me and more about what you actually care about._

_As always, thanks to my beta fishy Eva, I think I forgot to thank her last week so this week she gets a double thank you :D_

_Eva did a drawing of Kallia so you should definitely check that out! (Remember to remove spaces from the link)_

_http: / / evalyne . deviantart . com / # / d2t13eb_

_You're all welcome to draw pictures of scenes from the story if you want ^-^ If you do, be sure to send me a link. I'd love to see them and would be happy to share them with everyone else who actually reads these ridiculously long author's notes ;) (seriously, when did they start getting so long? :/ )_

_And finally I want to thank my reviewers: RewindedMiracle (for reviewing chapter 11) and Zeeji, Eva Galana, and Alistairsgirl (for reviewing chapter 12)._

_I've noticed I've started getting a lot of repeat reviewers and you have no idea how happy it makes me that you like my writing (or at least my story, hopefully my writing too) enough that you come back every week. _

_Argh, this is getting way too long. I'm just going to stop talking (typing) now and let you read. Enjoy!_

.oO***Oo.

As Kallia's companions meandered into the dining hall one by one, breakfast became unusually loud… Alistair was usually one to talk a lot, but his being upset with Kallia clearly affected the amount he felt the need to say. This meant that Leliana was given free rein to talk as much as she wanted.

It was never a good idea to allow Leliana to talk as much as she wanted.

Ever.

The woman never ran out of things to talk about and Kallia was left wondering when she managed to breathe. Breakfast ended none too soon and Kallia and Teagan excused themselves in order to look for the papers Isolde had gathered. Throughout dinner, Connor had kept his hand steadfastly attached to Kallia's robe and when she stood from the table, he quickly stood to trail after her again.

After showing her to Eamon's study, Teagan explained there were several other places the papers could have been kept and he was going to check those. Kallia managed to convince Connor to go with his uncle. He'd just lost his mother and was attaching himself to the nearest substitute. The connection they shared through the Fade made her the best choice of those available but Kallia knew that while attaching himself to anyone wasn't healthy, attaching himself to her would be particularly bad because she would be leaving within a day or two.

She was digging through the second drawer on the right side of the desk when she found it. Normally the amulet was the kind of thing she would have ignored, not even worth taking to sell but something nagged at her so she picked it up to inspect it.

It had once been a pretty thing, of that she had no doubt, but the piece had been nearly destroyed at some point. It had been shattered and put back together as best it could be. However human hands are clumsy things, it could not have been restored to anywhere near its previous glory.

The pewter back of the amulet was dented and where the metal had snapped apart and there were visible seams where it had been soldered back together. The miniaturized statue of Andraste had been broken in several pieces where it was the weakest: her arms and neck. Those too had bulging seams of repair. The only part of the amulet not damaged was the glass dome that (along with the pewter back) encased and protected the tiny statue. Kallia guessed that rather than being undamaged, it had simply been replaced.

She sat down in the arl's chair and tried to place why the amulet was familiar. It took her several minutes but eventually she remembered a conversation she'd had with Alistair. He talked often about the Chantry and being sent there, he seemed to think it was a point of familiarity between them and Kallia allowed him to talk on. She had nothing better to talk about and it seemed to make him happy.

This particular conversation had been about when he was sent to the Chantry. How he'd been mad at the arl, how he'd hated and resented the old man for it. How he'd taken his mother's amulet and thrown it against the wall in his anger. His mother's amulet.

_This_ amulet.

Kallia looked at the quality of the repair. She had no doubt this was repaired by the finest jewelry smith Eamon had available to him, but there was only so much that could be done with the relatively cheap metal. Magic could do better.

She could do better.

Kallia thought of the herb pouch she'd lost at Ostagar and how she'd do just about anything to have that small piece of her past back. It was with that thought that Kallia pocketed the amulet. She would need to do a few control exercises to make sure her precision was high enough and repairing the amulet would take some time, but she could do it and it would no doubt be worth the effort.

.oO***Oo.

Kallia had just finished digging through the desk when shouting from the main hall caught her attention. She made her way towards the shouting and found flames licking up the tapestries that covered the wall. People were frantically dumping buckets of water on the fire but it was having little effect. Kallia held her hands up and quickly built the ice up in them. Making sure none of the servants were in her line of fire, she let loose a cone of ice that instantly put out the majority of the flames. Several carefully placed Winter's Grasps put out the larger remnants of the fire while buckets of water were used on the smaller flames.

"What happened?" she asked. Teagan made his way over to her.

"An ember leapt from the fireplace to a tapestry... I can't imagine how this happened, that tapestry has been there for years and we've never had any trouble," Teagan explained with a sigh. He pointed to a charred section of table directly under the tapestry. "I had had all the research I found there, but it doesn't look like there's anything left... Did you manage to find anything in Eamon's study?"

Kallia shook her head. "Just some of the initial correspondence with Genetivi. Nothing useful besides his exact address, which is more than we had I suppose."

"I am sorry, my lady," the young Bann sighed and looked at the pile of ashes that had once been the papers.

"Don't apologize, you couldn't have known it was going to happen," she told him then sighed. "If there's no research we should probably be moving on. Do you have any supplies to spare or will you need them to rebuild?"

"I've had the maids gather what they think we can spare, it's all in the main hall for you to divide amongst yourselves as you see fit," he told her then hesitated. "I, ah, I made sure they put some cheese in the pile for Alistair. It's not much but perhaps it will help smooth things between the two of you..."

Kallia smiled at him. "I appreciate the thought, Teagan, but he feels that I've betrayed him. A few pieces of cheese are not going to heal that pain." The sad look Kallia gave him as she spoke told him she was speaking from experience; it made him wonder who had betrayed her.

"I understand, my lady, but every little bit will help. You'd be surprised at how far a single piece of cheese will take you with that boy."

Kallia chucked, nodded her head, and turned to gather her companions.

.oO***Oo.

She could see Alistair was ready to boil over.

He hadn't spoken to her all day since they'd left Redcliff and she'd felt his glares on her back. That he had chosen to walk behind her rather than at his usual place beside her spoke more to her than any of the words he was about to say. Even Morrigan had not made her usual jibes, deciding it was best to leave him alone.

They found a decent place to set up camp, though Kallia made no effort to put her tent up. She could never do it without his help and he did not seemed very inclined to offer that help that night. Besides, Mangy had informed her that he didn't smell rain in the air so she should be safe.

Once his tent was setup and he saw she wasn't busy (she made sure to be standing idle when he finished) he stormed over to her and grabbed her arm, leading her away from camp. She couldn't help but think that his grip might bruise it was so tight, but she could not blame him. He was obviously not really thinking and thus didn't consider the fact that he was much stronger than her. Mangy growled, knowing the other human was causing his elf pain, but she signaled him to silence and not to follow.

Mangy sat, following her orders but kept his ears and nose trained on her, even as she left his sight. First sign of danger he would be at her side protecting her from the larger human. Leliana was preparing her Orlesian stew, obviously trying to keep busy and ignore whatever yelling she was about to hear.

Everyone tensed when Alistair's voice carried back to them.

.oO***Oo.

_What is with me and cliffhangers lately…? Anyway, please review and remember to check out Eva's drawing of Kallia!_


	14. Repercussions

_Oh man, so I really did intend to give you this chapter last week but I ended up working late every night, I even ended up having to go in on Saturday too. _

_For those of you wondering about my interview (because I know that's what has you all on the edge of your seats ;] ), it could have gone better. A lot better. As evidenced by the fact that she hasn't called me back yet. Granted, she could just be doing a thorough background check or something, however (unlike Zevran) I am not an eternal optimist. _

_Hell, I'm not really an optimist period… _

_But I've submitted my resume several other places so hopefully I'll get hired somewhere else before August. _

_As always, thanks to my beta fishy Eva and all my reviewers. ^-^ _

_Anyway…. I'm going to get on with the story because these authors notes just keep getting longer and longer each week. _

.oO***Oo.

"You let Lady Isolde sacrifice herself! With blood magic! How could you do that?" He was pacing, needing to move to vent his anger.

"You think I should have killed Connor instead?" She replied calmly, trying to make him see reason. Her calm demeanor only served to anger him further.

"We could have gone to the Circle. W-we could have tried harder. We should have something that didn't involve _blood magic, _that's for sure," he spat the words _blood magic_. "This is the arl's son we're talking about here, what do you think he's going to say when we revive him?"

Kallia had never seen Alistair this angry, in fact she didn't think she's ever seen _anybody_ this angry, and for a brief moment she wondered what he would do if she told him she was still battling with the guilt over what she'd done. But she couldn't do that to Alistair.

It had been the right choice, she knew that. She had chosen the lesser of three evils, but choosing the lesser evil still meant she had chosen _an_ evil. And with evil comes guilt. Kallia had been the one to make the choice, not Alistair, so how could it be fair to let Alistair bear any of the guilt?

No, she decided, this was her burden to bear. So she steeled her nerves (not easy to do with a man twice your size pacing back and forth in anger just feet away from you) and told him, "He will see that there were bigger things at stake."

"How could you even make that decision?" he demanded. "I owe the Arl better than that. No one would have died if we'd just gone-" Alistair realized he'd crossed the line if the resounding _Slap_ and the stinging in his left cheek was anything to go by.

"No one would have died?" She hissed, a low growl sounded at her feet where Mangy had appeared. "What of the dozens that died before we arrived? We lost at least ten of the village militia in the one battle we fought. And Murdock. And Lloyd. And Berwick. Were they nobody, Alistair? Or just nobody you knew?"

Kallia was furious, and Alistair suddenly found himself wondering how a woman that barely reached his shoulder could seem to loom over him. For the first time since he'd met her, it occurred to him that she was powerful in her own right. If he hadn't known better, he wouldn't have thought that his Templar training would do any good against her if he'd had to use it. She seemed so confidant and sure of herself.

Then she was gone. Mangy stayed only a second longer. He growled and his ears were laid flat, but then he turned to follow his elf and Alistair was left standing alone holding his cheek.

.oO***Oo.

Kallia stormed away from her fellow Warden, she barely noticed when she went through camp and told Leliana she would be at the pond they had camped near. She screamed in frustration as she launched a fireball into the middle of the pond and watched it sizzle and steam when it hit the water. It made her feel slightly better, so she launched another. But working with fire was making her too hot so she grabbed the sleeves of her robes and tugged. Hard. Leaving her outfit sleeveless besides the gold loops that hung off of each shoulder. When she was still too warm she switched to arcane bolts.

Kallia focused on her anger at Alistair and launched bolt after bolt at the water. She heard a twig snap behind her just as she was about to launch another and jumped slightly. Her surprise changed the magic that was launched and instead a bolt of lightning hit the water. Several fish floated to the surface.

Kallia turned on her heel to glare at the offender, but it was only Mangy. The glare melted off her face and her stance relaxed as the dog approached her. He made a quiet whining noise and she sat on the ground next to him, he laid his head on her lap comfortingly. "I lost my temper," she sighed.

Mangy whined again.

"It _is_ my fault," she insisted. "Growing up in the Tower taught me better than that. I'm not a child or an apprentice that can afford to lose my temper."

He barked and cocked his head to the side questioningly.

"Who am I?" Kallia chuckled. "I am Kallia Surana, mage of the Circle of Magi, a Grey Warden, and, for better or worse, I seem to be the leader of this group of lunatics and rejects."

Mangy barked again causing Kallia to laugh.

"Well as far as I can tell you're too intelligent to be a lunatic, so that must make you one of the rejects, Mangy." She sighed and scratched his eyes. "Thank you, I needed someone to calm me down. Do you like fish? Apparently my latest and greatest spell makes for good fishing."

Mangy stood and barked excitedly before darting into the water and picking up two of the fish in his mouth at once.

.oO***Oo.

Alistair followed Kallia, intent on continuing their fight. He could hear her screams of frustration and feel the magic floating in the air, in his current state of mind that just managed to set off the Templar in him. She went quiet suddenly and he heard Mangy's whine.

"Who am I?" he heard her chuckle. "I am Kallia Surana, mage of the Circle of Magi, a Grey Warden, and, for better or worse, I seem to be the leader of this group of lunatics and rejects."

She thanked the dog and just as he got to the point where he could see her she suddenly sighed. "Though I suppose I'm not actually a Surana anymore. I've twice abandoned that name. And I'm not a Circle mage either, since we leave behind our old lives when we Join…" He heard Mangy bark once but the dog then returned to his fish. "So I guess that just leaves me as Warden Kallia…" she said sadly.

His anger melted away instantly. It suddenly occurred to him that she had left so much behind her and yet, she'd only seen suffering and death since her Joining. She hadn't gotten to stay up late with the other Wardens and try to drink them under the table (which Alistair always lost at rather quickly). Even he himself hadn't been much of a senior Warden, not only essentially forcing her to lead but not even explaining why she was suddenly snacking almost around the clock.

"Warden _Commander_ Kallia suits you better," commented as he stepped into her field of vision from the trees. Mangy briefly looked up but apparently decided he wasn't a threat and continued to gnaw on the fish happily.

"Commander?" Kallia snorted. "And what, pray tell, do I command?"

Alistair sat down next to her, "Well, our motley crew of armed lunatics for starters. Oh and bastards… I have told you I'm a bastard, right?" he added guiltily by way of an apology. Kallia glanced at him out of the corner of her eye; he was staring at his hands, his feet, the ground. Anywhere but her.

"Yes, you have. A royal bastard in fact," she answered distantly.

"One raised by dogs, if you remember," Alistair added hopefully.

Mangy let off a light growl and, having finished his fish, trotted to her side and laid his head on her lap. Kallia chuckled and translated for Alistair. "He's insulted you would compare your behavior to that of a dog's."

Alistair rolled his eyes, not really believing she could understand the animal but not willing to protest and risk the tentative forgiveness he'd managed to earn. "Look, I know that you did the best you could. Someone had to make a decision and you made it and-" He froze when he finally looked at her. "What happened to your sleeves?" He frowned when he caught sight of her arm, "What happened to your _arm_?"

Kallia looked down and sure enough, there was a handprint bruise where he had grabbed her. Genuine confusion covered his face, however, so she smiled and replied. "Leftovers from the Fade." She brought her hand up, it glowed blue and the bruise began to disappear. "I think I'm starting to get the hang of this healing myself thing," she chuckled. "I'm going to go lie down… I'm exhausted."

Alistair watched her leave not even bothering to pick up the sleeves of her gown that she'd torn off. It was several minutes before he looked away from the spot on the treeline where she had disappeared. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he came face to face with Mangy. The dog had somehow gotten out of the water and only inches from him without his noticing. He sat completely still while the dog glared at him only inches from his face.

"You don't like me," Alistair finally stated, Mangy just stared at him. "Say, just for an instant, that you can talk to Kallia…" The dog cocked his head to the side questioningly. "Why can she understand you and no one else?" Mangy barked once, Alistair knew if Kallia had been there she would have pretended the dog was explained exactly why only she could understand him, but she wasn't there so Alistair continued talking. "Like me. I grew up sleeping in stables but as many nights as I spent talking to horses they never talked back."

Mangy huffed then turned away to follow Kallia. How was Alistair to have known he'd insulted the dog by comparing his intelligence to that of a horse.

Mabari are _far_ more intelligent than a horse.


	15. An Eternal Optimist

_Ok, I'm going to keep this authors note short because I have my sister over and my cat is trying to eat her dog. _

_Thank you to my beta fishy Eva. I was rather sad that Eva was the only one to review the last chapter. Did it just suck? It's one of my favorites so far :'(_

_You probably won't get an extra chapter this week. My hard drive was suddenly was fried when I got home from work last week so I have to make what I've got last until I can get my desktop back. Fortunately my writing shouldn't fall too far behind since I have a laptop :)_

_Anyways, enjoy the chapter and please remember to review… Reviews make me happy and encourage me to write._

.oO***Oo.

The group had only been walking an hour on their second day towards the Tower when a woman suddenly came running up to them.

"Oh thank the Maker! We need help! They attacked the wagon; please help us! Follow me, I'll take you to them!" woman exclaimed then ran off before anyone could get a word in edge wise.

Alarm bells went off in Leliana's head. The woman had too many holes in her story and was trying to play them off as a distraught villager who just didn't know any better. She'd run off to prevent them from asking any questions. Those suspicions were not helped by the fact that the woman moved as a trained fighter would, not a starving peasant. The bard whispered a warning she knew their elven leader would hear, Kallia gave a tiny nod of acknowledgement and followed the woman more cautiously.

The peasant woman slowed to a walk before she reached the one man standing by a group of overturned wagons. Leliana immediately noticed the wagon had been turned at an odd angle, one that would provide the most cover for an ambush but not one that the wagon could have gotten into accidently. Again the bard whispered a warning.

A small hand signal from Kallia told Leliana and Morrigan to stand back and cover the group with ranged attacks then she and Mangy fell in step behind Alistair and Sten. Mangy grabbed her robe at the last second and pulled her out of the way of a falling tree.

The tree cut them off from Morrigan and Leliana.

"The Grey Warden dies here!" the man (on closer inspection she could now tell he was a blonde elf) shouted as people started appearing from nowhere.

Kallia held back a smirk. The Grey Warden. Singular. That meant he only thought there was one of them, the question is who did he think it was?

"For the Grey Wardens!" Kallia shook her head. If the elf hadn't known which of them was a Grey Warden before, Alistair's battle cry certainly made it painstakingly clear. Of course it made most of the attackers turn their attention to Alistair.

Kallia couldn't help but wonder if that was intentional or not.

If they had known she was a Grey Warden then she would have stood little chance. Robes do not provide as much protection against swords and daggers as one might think. She put most her effort into healing him and keeping him alive as best she could.

Unfortunately when she felt a stinging in her left shoulder she turned around. One of the attackers had realized she was the healer. Blight blast it.

She froze him and found a new area and had just managed to get off an arcane bolt when a sharp pain in her side brought her attention to a closer problem than the frozen assassin. She froze this one as well, but pain her side was deep and certainly not helped by the fact that her ribs were still healing.

She fell to her knees, her head was swimming but she tugged on the Veil. Plucking the threads, gathering as much of it as she could. Kallia had never cast this much magic at once and she was having trouble weaving all the threads together.

While she pulled and wove, she glanced around. Three of them had managed to cut the straps off one side of Alistair's armor and were taking full advantage of that. Mangy was ripping out the throat of the one that dared to stab her in the side. Sten was currently fighting off six or seven of them at once.

"GROUNDING ELIXIR!" she yelled at loud as she could. Alistair didn't look at her and for a moment she was afraid he hadn't heard her, but an instant later he had a flask in his hand and was gulping the dirt-like liquid. She didn't wait for Sten to acknowledge her and with one final check around the battle field, she unleashed a lightning storm.

Kallia sent a healing spell at Alistair then attempted one more at herself. Her mana reserves were dangerously low but still she tried to stem the bleeding. It was one spell too many, her vision began to fade and she could only hope Mangy wouldn't be effected by the spell.

.oO***Oo.

"Just _kill_ him," was the first thing Kallia heard when she woke up. It was Alistair's _I'm going to whine because I know I'm right_ voice.

"No, Kallia might want to question him. Just keep him unconscious and tied up." Ah the merciful (but insane) Orlesian. She opened her eyes but quickly closed them with a groan. "Kali!" Leliana cried. The bard had taken to calling her that since she heard Jowan use it.

Next thing Kallia knew she was being lifted to her feet by (surprisingly gentle) gauntleted hands. "Kallia, can we kill the evil assassin? Please, please, please?" Alistair begged. She couldn't help but feel like he was a 10 year old at the Tower on Andraste's birthday when the Chantry always gave the mages new sets of robes.

"Since when do you need my permission to kill people who are trying to kill us?" she groaned, still groggy. That big spell had taken a lot more out of her then she'd thought.

"Since he isn't trying to kill us anymore and is unconscious," Leliana informed her.

"Oh… yeah…. Then no killing." She opened her eyes to see Morrigan holding out a Lyrium potion. She hated the things, they tasted foul and they always made her feel funny, like a container that someone had tried to stuff too much into. It was not a comfortable feeling. On the few instances she'd tried a Lyrium potion before, she'd quickly decided she'd rather not do magic than drink one.

But when an unfamiliar man lying on the ground a few feet away moaned, she grabbed the flask from Morrigan without a second thought, tossed back her head, and let the chalky liquid flow down her throat.

"Hmm.. what? I.." the blonde elf opened his eyes, "Oh… Rather thought I'd wake up dead… Or not wake up at all as the case may be." He glanced over everyone, down to his tied hands and feet, then settled on Alistair. "But I see you haven't killed me yet."

Kallia smirked, he was still under the impression there was only one Grey Warden and that Alistair was the leader. It helped that Alistair crossed his arms and glared at the elf. It didn't help when suddenly started sulking. "I say we just kill him and move on."

"We very well might," Kallia made sure to add a slight threat to her voice. "We have some questions first, however."

Surprise registered on the elf's face for only an instant before it was replaced with the previous groggy mask. "So you are the leader, my fine friend. Well, if I'm to be interrogated, I will save you some time, yes? My name is Zevran, Zev to my friends. I am a member of the Antivan Crows and was brought here with the sole purpose of slaying any remaining Grey Wardens. Which I have failed at, sadly."

"What exactly is an Antivan Crow?" Kallia asked.

"An order of assassins, of course. Out of Antiva," He spoke with such a certainty that stated _even a five year old knows this_. "But I suppose you wouldn't have heard much of them out here, However where I come from we're quite infamous."

"You came all the way from Antiva to kill us?" Kallia asked in disbelief. Surely anyone who wanted them dead (hopefully not Loghain, because that would mean he knew they were alive) could have hired someone a bit more local.

"Not precisely. I was in the neighborhood."

"And who posed the offer?"

"A rather taciturn fellow in the capital. Loghain I think his name was? Yes, that was it."

_Blight blast it_, was Kallia's only thought.

"Were you hired to kill Grey Wardens in general or us specifically?"

"He mentioned an elf and a human, but he did not mention you were female…" The elf took an appreciative look at both Kallia and Alistair's bodies. Alistair went red, whether out of anger or embarrassment (or embarrassment turned into anger) Kallia didn't know. "Or that you were both so fine looking."

"So you're loyal to Loghain?" She pressed further, crossing her arms and ignoring the shameless flirting.

The elf just shrugged. "I have no idea what his issues with you are. I assume the usual: you threaten his power, yes? Beyond that, no, I have no loyalty to him. I was contracted to perform a service."

"Oh, how much are we worth?" Alistair wondered. Kallia rolled her eyes.

"Well, _I_ was paid nothing. The Crows, however, were paid quiet handsomely from what I understand. Which does make me as poor as a chantry mouse come to think of it… Being a Crow is not for the overly ambitious to be perfectly honest."

"When were you to see him next?" She asked, wondering how long they had until Loghain realized they still lived and sent something else their way.

"I wasn't. If I succeeded I was to return home where the Crows would inform your Loghain of the results. And if I had failed then I would be dead, or should be as far as the Crows are concerned. No need to see Loghain then."

"_If_ you'd failed?" Kallia laughed.

"What can I say, I'm an eternal optimist. Although I suppose the chances of my succeeding are a bit slim at this point, no?" The elf laughed, Kallia noted the way his hands attempted to add pressure to his ribs when he laughed. "But I don't suppose you'd find that funny, would you?"

"No, we don't!" Alistair snapped.

"Why are you telling us all of this?" Kallia wondered. "It just seems a little too easy."

"Why not?" the elf chuckled. "I wasn't paid for silence, not that it was offered but that's beside the point."

"So who _are_ you loyal to then?" Kallia asked in confusion.

"Loyalty is an interesting concept. And if you wish, once you're done interrogating me, we can discuss it further."

"I'm listening," Kallia told the elf slowly.

"See, here's the thing. I failed to kill you-"Zevran started.

"Yes, we noticed that." Alistair grumbled. The elf smirked.

"-So my life is forfeit," Zevran continued as though he hadn't heard the human. "That's how it works, you see. If you don't kill me, the Crows will. But I rather like living and you're obviously the type to give the Crows pause so let me serve you instead."

"And what's to stop you from simply finishing the job later and returning to Antiva?" Kallia asked, watching him carefully for any signs of deceit.

"I was never given much of a choice in joining the Crows but the only way to get out is to sign up with someone they can't touch. Even if I did kill you now, they might kill me on principle. Since I'm not dead yet, I'd rather take my chances with you."

"You must think she's royally stupid," Alistair laughed.

"I think she's royally tough to kill, is what I think she is," he told the Templar, then turned his attention to Kallia. His voice became more flirtatious when he spoke, "And utterly gorgeous. Not that I think you'll respond to simple flattery, but there are worse things in life then serving the whims of a deadly sex goddess."

Kallia had to laugh at that as well, flattery might not get him anywhere but it certainly wasn't doing any harm either. She eyed him one last time and decided he was either a very good liar or telling the truth. "Alright, I accept your offer," she told him, then knelt down to untie him. He moved to stop up but her hand on his shoulder stopped him.

Surprise once again registered on his face for only an instant when her hands glowed blue and the pain in his ribs began to lessen. In the Crows you were responsible for your own injuries. When you were hurt too badly to do that, you were left to die. Little things like a cracked rib didn't inhibit your movement and couldn't be healed any faster so you learned to simply ignore them and keep going.

"What? We're taking the assassin with us now? Is this _really_ a good idea?" Alistair demanded.

"We need all the help we can get, Alistair," she reminded him.

"Alright, I see your point…" he sulked before adding, "Still, if there was a sign we were desperate I think it knocked on the door and said hello."

"Alistair, we _are_ desperate," Kallia reminded him.

"Yes, but now _everyone_ will know!" he whined. Kallia just rolled her eyes as she finished healing Zevran. Once she was finished she offered her hand to help him up. He looked at a moment debating her motives before he hesitantly took it.

"I hereby pledge my loyalty to you until such a time as you choose to release me from it. I am your man, this I swear," he told her and brought the hand she'd offered him to his lips.

Alistair felt like punching him.


	16. Room Arrangements

_So my birthday was last Wednesday but for some reason everyone seemed to think it was Tuesday. My mom called, "Happy Birthday!" "Mom, you realize my birthday is tomorrow, right?" there was a long pause then, "Oh… Yes, of course I knew that!" _

_Anyway, I got an awesome camera! Now I can finally start uploading some pictures of my polymer clay to deviant art… Not that anyone really cares since they don't actually look at it but it makes me excited. :P If you're interested, my deviant art link is (as usual, take out the spaces)_

_http : / / janecshannon . deviantart . com /_

_Check it out. Who knows, you might find some previews of Kallia in future chapters ;)_

_As always, I want to thank my beta fishy Eva, she deserves a special thank you this week, I had two chapters written that I absolutely hated but thanks to her creative re-ordering she was able to make the two awful chapters into two great ones! You won't get to these chapters for a couple of weeks but I'm thanking her now anyway ^-^_

_And of course, thanks to my reviewers allistairsgirl and True-Light-San. I really do appreciate the time you guys take to review._

_Anyway, enough from me… On with the chapter_

.oO***Oo.

It was raining when they arrived at the docks. Hard. With thunder and lightning. Even Kallia's Arcane Shield wasn't helping much to keep the rain off. Everyone was soaked to the bone.

They went inside but the owner of the inn immediately yelled, "No Dogs!" upon seeing Mangy.

Kallia looked down at him and he whimpered. She knelt to whisper in his ear. "Go out and wait under the awning I'll be there in a few minutes." He barked once and walked out the door. "How much are rooms and how many beds do they have in them?" she asked the innkeeper.

"Three shillin' for one bed and four for two," he responded gruffly.

"Does that include dinner?"

He nodded, "And breakfast. It's half a shillin' extra for a hot bath."

She smiled, "Just a moment." He nodded again and turned back to cleaning the ale mugs. Kallia turned to her group. "Leliana and Morrigan can share one room. I'm going to guess you aren't willing to share with Zevran, Alistair, so you can share with Sten."

"You are _not_ going to share with the assassin the very day he tried to kill you!" Alistair exclaimed crossing him arms. He'd been sulking since Zevran joined them and Kallia wasn't exactly sure why.

"No, I'm sleeping in my tent. Mangy would not let me sleep outside alone in this weather, I will not make him," Kallia replied. No one noticed the innkeeper eavesdropping until he suddenly let out a sigh.

"Maker's breath, can't let a little bit like you sleep outside on her own, dog or no. Add an extra shillin' for the room he sleeps in, _dry him off_ before you bring him in here, and he can stay."

Kallia smiled brightly at the innkeeper and thanked him. "Three two-bed rooms please, we'll let you know if we need water for baths." She handed him the twelve silver coins for the rooms while the woman showed everyone else their rooms.

He nodded again and tossed her an old rag with holes in it. "For the dog," he commented. She thanked him again and headed outside. Alistair followed her.

"Soo… you are not seriously going to share a room with that assassin are you?" he wondered.

"Why not?" she knelt and began roughly rubbing Mangy with the towel.

"Well… for starters, you're female and he's male and it's just wrong," Alistair started; Kallia stopped drying Mangy and turned to him with a confused look on her face.

"Why?"

"That's what I want to know! Why are you sharing a room with him?"

"Because I know you won't so the only other option is Sten, which would leave you and me sharing a room. I thought _that_ would make you uncomfortable. Why is _my_ sharing a room with Zevran making _you_ uncomfortable…?"

"Because he's going to kill you in your sleep," Alistair insisted.

"Alistair, Mangy barely lets _you_ near me and you've never tried to kill me. Do you honestly think he will let Zevran close enough to attempt anything?" Mangy barked twice, growled, and shook his head back and forth the same way he did when shredding a darkspawn's throat making Kallia laugh. "I know you will. You're a good boy," she told him.

"But a man and woman sharing a room is just _wrong_…"

"Why? Because the Chantry says so?" She waited for an answer but got none. "According to the Chantry, I'm sin incarnate."

"Nooo… The darkspawn are sin incarnate… you're just…"

"Born into sin with no hope of redemption? I'm sure you can guess why I'm not particularly fond of the Chantry, Alistair. I certainly don't follow their beliefs. Now you can rest easy knowing you have done you're part to prevent me from committing the horrible sin of sleeping near a man who, mind you, will be sleeping just as close when we camp. The only difference will be that there aren't walls between the rest of the party."

She was done drying Mangy so she and the dog went inside, leaving Alistair to try to figure out exactly where that conversation went wrong.

.oO***Oo.

"I could kill you, you know… I have you in a very compromising position right now," Zevran informed her as he lounged on his bed. His tone clearly indicated he wasn't commenting because he was actually going to try to kill her so much as he was just trying to make conversation. She was currently sitting behind a screen in a large bath filled with hot water. He was very much enjoying the silhouette of her lovely form.

All of the women had wanted hot baths, Alistair didn't care if it was hot so long as it wasn't cold, Sten hadn't seemed inclined to bath at all, and Zevran had said he'd be more than happy to just use Kallia's leftover water (to which Alistair had muttered something that included both the word _creepy _and _disgusting_). The innkeeper had tried to supply them all with hot water, but there was only so much to go around. Kallia had told him just the water was fine and it didn't need to be hot so he had only charged them 25 copper for bringing the water up. She'd then gone around to each of their rooms and heated the water with a little help from her magic.

Kallia made a noise that sounded a lot like an agreement in the back of her throat. "It would be a stupid thing to do though."

"And why is that, my dear Warden?" he asked with a smirk. The silhouette of a lovely woman was replaced by that of a huge dog.

"Because Mangy is very protective of me and he doesn't like you," she laughed. She stepped out from behind the screen with a towel wrapped around her. Zevran arched an eyebrow.

"While I very much appreciate the view and believe me, I do appreciate it," his eyes roamed the Morrigan-like amount of skin currently on display, "I must ask, why exactly are you giving me this lovely view."

"What view?" Kallia frowned.

"Do not play coy with me, my dear Warden," Zevran scolded.

Kallia looked down and examined her body then shrugged. "All of the parts that make Alistair nervous are covered."

"And yet it is still a lovely view," he practically purred.

There was a crash and some cursing in the room next to hers, she frowned at the wall then dropped the towel and changed into the spare tunic Alistair had just told her to keep.

.oO***Oo.

"I could kill you, you know… I have you in a very compromising position right now."

Alistair tensed and stopped cleaning his sword as Zevran's voice floated through the walls. Kallia's response was too muffled to make out. "And why is that, my dear Warden?" Another muffled response and a laugh.

A laugh.

The assassin was threatening to kill her and she was _laughing._

"Do you believe the Warden is unskilled in the ways of battle?" Sten's voice prevented him from eavesdropping further.

"What?"

"The Warden. Do you not believe she cannot defend herself should the assassin attack her again?"

"I… well… that's not the point, is it? The point is she shouldn't be in there with him in the first place," Alistair replied.

"Do you wish to be in there instead?"

"What? I-no, no, no. I mean she should be in there with a _woman, _not a man," he clarified.

Sten nodded in comprehension, "So you believe the Warden is a man as well?"

"What?" The question came out as little more than a squeak.

"She fights and woman do not fight. Women are priests, artisans, or shopkeepers. They have no place in fighting. And now you say she prefers the company of woman."

And now Alistair couldn't get the thought of Kallia with Leliana out of his mind, which wasn't helped by the fact that he now knew exactly what was under those robes that she wore.

He was a bad, bad man.

"Oh no, she's definitely a woman," he told Sten.

The giant frowned, "Then she should stop wishing to be a man, it will only lead to frustration."

"All of the parts that make Alistair nervous are covered," Kallia's voice floated through the walls again before Alistair could explain that she didn't _want_ to be a man.

"And yet still it is a lovely view."

Alistair dropped his sword on his foot.

.oO***Oo.

The next morning Kallia woke to an empty room. Though she wasn't sure whether she should be concerned by this or not, she decided (for now at least) not to be. Her ribs had finally healed, for the first time in three days nothing hurt, she was sleeping on a nice, warm mattress, and Mangy was curled up at her side.

All in all, it was going to be a good day.

At the first sign of movement from Kallia, Mangy got off the bed so he no longer trapped her against the wall. "Let's go get breakfast, shall we?" she offered and Mangy barked in agreement and the two made their way down the stairs to the main room of the inn that served as the dining room and bar.

"Kali!" Leliana excitedly called to her and Kallia made her way over to the corner table her group sat at.

She looked around and found some of her party missing. Kallia simply shrugged off Morrigan and Alistair's absences. Morrigan was not known for her sociability and Alistair was known to sleep late whenever given the chance. Zevran's absence made her frown however, since she knew he was, in fact, already up.

"Where's Zevran?"

"Right behind you, my dead Warden," a sultry voice whispered in her ear. Kallia jumped slightly and didn't notice the calculating look Leliana was giving the assassin. The look was gone as quickly as it appeared however, immediately replaced by a welcoming smile.

"Good morning, Zevran," Kallia greeted as he took the seat next to her.

"And to you," he completely ignored the dog that had sat between them as soon as he made a move for the seat. He did not need to test the loyalty of the creature, Ferelden Mabari were renown throughout all of Thedas. "I must admit, you are not the first to share a room with me, my dear Warden. Perhaps next time you will share the bed as well, yes?"

Kallia laughed, "No doubt I'm the first to _wake up_ after sharing a room with you… my dear Assassin."

Zevran smirked. "Be that as it may…" he trailed off as he glanced at the plate the bartender had set in front of him. "What, may I ask, is this called?"

Kallia glanced down at her plate of fried cabbage and potatoes and, being the only native Ferelden at the table, answered, "Bubbly and Squeak."

Leliana was making a face that showed her dislike for the dish without question. "It's a bland dish, we ate it at the Chantry in Lothering rather often."

"You think every Ferelden dish is bland," Kallia replied. "And it's not that bad," she picked up her fork and began shoveling food into her mouth. She had not had much of a chance to eat the day before. The rain had made it difficult to walk, let alone walk and do other things at the same time. Kallia's plate had been cleared in a matter of minutes, leaving her stating at her plate confused as to where all the food went and why she was still hungry.

The innkeeper laughed from across the room and commented loudly, "It seems the little bit has quite an appetite on her, doesn't she?" He was still chuckling when he brought her another plate. "You won't be goin' anywhere today, m' afraid," he jerked his head towards the door. "The storm's not let up yet. I reckon it'll be another day at least."

Kallia frowned at his statement, they didn't have another twelve silvers to spend on rooms but she knew it wouldn't be wise to camp in this weather either. Her arcane shield could only do so much to keep the rain off and it hadn't been much help the day before.

The innkeeper saw the look on her face, it was a look he recognized after years of serving people. He was not a cruel man, however. Giving the girl the once over, he finally caught sight of her robes.

"You're one of them from the Circle, aren't ya?" he asked. Kallia hesitated, unsure of how to answer the question. "Look, a lad came through here 'bout a month ago, played some fine tunes for his room. Say you entertain the rest of the guests at supper and there'll be no charge for your rooms, eh?"

Kallia frowned. "Well, I suppose Leliana knows-"

"No, no. He played this one song we'd never heard before…. Called it something fancy... Oi! Bella! What'd that mage that came through here call that tune?"

"A control exercise," came the bored yell from the back room. "Number Two or somethin'."

"Oh," Kallia answered in surprise. "Well I suppose I was going to work on them anyway… might as well start with number two," she agreed, though she was confused as to why anyone would want to listen to her practicing her control of over her magic.

The innkeeper nodded his head and made his way back behind the bar, glad to have scored some entertainment for his guests. The regulars always liked it on the rare occasion he could convince a mage to play for them.

.oO***Oo.

Zevran slept little laying this close to his target. He told himself because he was simply waiting for the dog that had curled up next to her to close its eyes and give him the opportunity he needed, but that excuse fell flat the next morning when he realized the dog had fallen asleep at some point and he had never noticed.

No, instead he'd spent most of the night debating with himself. He was not lying when he told the Warden that the Crows would likely kill him even if he succeeded in killing her. There was always the chance that he could make up an excuse or that they hadn't heard he'd failed yet, the chances of that were slim but as he'd told the Warden, he was an eternal optimist.

And yet….

Though the prospect of never returning to Antiva was an upsetting one, he still found himself entertaining the idea of joining the Warden on her quest. If he did so his fate would be sealed and he could never return home but he could make himself a new one. Very little in this world is irreplaceable and he had already lost the one thing that was.

He had heard tales of the Grey Wardens, of their strength and determination. He had counted on that strength and determination when he'd taken this job. But he had not counted on the female Warden's mercy.

Rinna had believed many things, she'd maintained a strange sense of sentimentality in a world that should have destroyed it. But one of those things she had believed was there was no such thing as coincidence. And as he spent the night fiddling with a pair of golden earrings, he couldn't help but wonder if she had been right.

He had heard the first sounds of the Warden waking and had found he was not yet willing to answer the probing questions that would no doubt come with her wakefulness. Silently he had slipped from the bed and into the shadows of the room.

When she woke, she had not noticed him nor had she questioned his supposed absence until she had gone down the stairs and seen he was in neither of the two places she expected him to be, but instead of an excessive amount of suspicion upon his appearance she had greeted him happily. No, it was everyone else that looked on him with suspicion and distrust.

The Warden's odd belief in him made him decide that, for now at least, he would follow her.

.oO***Oo.

_I am so pleased with that last section that covers Zevran's point of view. I really feel like I captured him perfectly. _


	17. A Slight Delay

_Ah, Monday. We have a dislike-hate relationship. I dislike Mondays and Mondays hate me :P_

_Anyway, in this chapter Kallia explains a bit about the Veil and magic in general to Leliana. Most of it is from my own mind based on what I've read from the Codex entries. Eva seems to think I explained everything fairly well (she's now sure that I'm actually a mage based on the level of detail I managed to come up with ;] which I fully take as a compliment ) but if there's something you don't understand, just leave your question in a review and (if it's something you're supposed to understand at this point) I'll make sure to explain it better._

_Thanks to beta fishy Eva and thanks to my reviewers USAF713, The Golden Echo, and Bingham Vance._

_You might notice this chapter has an actual name ^-^ I'm going to go back and try to name the previous chapters as well. It won't necessarily happen in order, just as I manage to come up with a title. As always, I'm more than happy to take suggestions on ones that aren't titled yet ^-^ _

_You can't blame me for trying to get you to do my work for me… I'm _**lazy **_:P_

_Anyway, I should probably get to the story before someone decides to kill me in my sleep for taking so long :P_

_Enjoy!_

.oO***Oo.

Kallia sat at a table in the dining room of the inn, one of the pages of her journal folded out in front of her. Leliana couldn't help but be curious at the look of utter concentration she had on her face and peaked over her shoulder.

What she saw was a drawing of a pack with strange looking lines and notes next to each of the seams. "What is this?" she wondered out loud. Kallia jumped slightly in surprise, apparently not even noticing she had been reading over her shoulder. It was common for the Templars to check what you were doing in the Tower, so most mages learned to simply ignore them when it happened. The Templars never commented though… Well, Cullen had occasionally but only to Kallia.

The mage looked over her shoulder at the redhead. "What?"

"I was just curious as to what you were doing," Leliana repeated.

Kallia seemed to hesitate as she glanced at her drawing. "I'm creating a charm for our packs that will allow us to carry more," she informed the bard.

"Really? Oh that would be useful! How do you do that?" Leliana's eyes lit with excitement and Kallia couldn't help but chuckle as Leliana had the same reaction young children at the Tower often had to first learning this was possible.

"It's difficult to explain to someone who's never seen the Veil…" Kallia thought for a moment. "So you know how they say the Veil is like a curtain between the worlds?" she waited for Leliana's nod before continuing. "That's actually a fairly accurate statement of what it acts like as well. In some places it's a heavy, tightly woven blanket and in other's it has many holes like a lace curtain. All a mage needs to do to work magic is pull threads out of the curtain and weave them together. The small spells, like Mind Blast or Cone of Fire, are pulled from my mana reserve, directly from the Fade. But the larger, more complicated spells, like the lightning storm I created when we were fighting Zevran will last as long as it takes the threads of the Veil to unweave themselves.

"Charming is a lot like the enchanting the dwarves and Tranquil do, only instead of working with Lyrium and rune stone we weave threads of the Veil into or around an object. The difference being that it isn't permanent. The better the mage, the more intricate the weaving, the longer the charm will last. A skilled mage can make it seem permanent because it lasts so long, but less experienced mages will need to tighten the threads occasionally. The control exercises help us improve our precision and allow us to control more threads at a time, making our charms last longer and more powerful."

"What is a control exercise?" Leliana asked. "The innkeeper talked about it as though it were music."

Kallia just shrugged. "It's just a control exercise. Instead of weaving the threads of the Veil together, we pull them tight and force them to vibrate. It makes noise but I can't imagine why anyone would want to listen to it…"

"So you _do_ make music with it then?"

Again, Kallia shrugged. "Exercise Two is a relatively easy one, only requiring four threads," she remarked absently as she went back to her design.

"Would you play it for me?"

Kallia gave no sign that she was going to play the tune or even reply to the request for several seconds until four strings of light that glowed a faint blue appeared in front of her. The whole room went quiet as invisible hands began plucking the strings. They played a nice, if simple, ditty that lasted only a minute or two [1]. While she played, she tried to concentrate on the paper in front of her. Not the fact that Number Two had always been Jowan's favorite. Not that fact that the mage the innkeeper had mentioned would have been passing through about the same time Jowan had run from the Tower.

Jowan wouldn't have been so stupid as to spend the night at the inn while on the run, would he?

"How does it work?" Leliana asked. "I mean why do you call it a control exercise when it's obviously music?"

"It takes a lot of control to be able to hold the strings taut with the exact amount of pressure needed to maintain a certain sound," Kallia explained. "Eventually you add more strings, wisps, and discs and it can get very complicated."

"Do any of the songs have words?"

"Oh, no," Kallia laughed. "If you add words and movements it's a focus exercise. Never let it be said mages are bad multi-taskers."

Leliana glanced around the room and saw Alistair watching with rapt attention. She giggled and clapped her hands in delight. Kallia and Alistair's relationship had been tense since Redcliffe and had only gotten worse because of Zevran. "Do you know anything more complicated?" She wondered, hoping to get Kallia to impress Alistair without her realizing what she was doing.

Kallia, thinking Leliana just wanted to hear "music" from the Tower, put down her pen and looked at the strings, twenty more threads appeared. She held out her hand and different sized wisps appeared and floated off in different directions. Kallia then spread her fingers and held her palm face down to create several hand-sized blue discs. Those floated off as well and, after several moments, the invisible hands once more launched into action. This time, however, they played a much faster and complicated jig that was complimented by the flute-like sounds of the wisps and drum-like sounds of the discs. She played for several minutes and several of the patrons of the bar had got up to dance. [2]

When the song ended, Kallia returned to her work on her charm while the strings launched into a slightly simpler tune. [3]

.oO***Oo.

The next morning, Kallia sat at a table putting weaving the final threads of the Veil into Leliana's pack. A man walked up and sat at the table beside her. Kallia gave him only a cursory glance before returning to her drawing and ignoring him.

"I see you are a mage," he commented.

"As are you," she replied without looking up from her work. "Brave of you to remain so close to the Tower."

From the corner of her eye she saw him smirk. "And why is that, dear mage?"

Kallia set her pen down and looked him right in the eye, "You are an apostate. I see neither Circle robes nor ring." She squinted, observing him carefully.

The mage smiled in delight. "So the rumors are true then? It really is Irving's Kallia leading the remaining Grey Wardens?"

Kallia was immediately on edge and subtly glanced around the bar for her companions. Mangy, as always, was at her feet. Alistair was watching the man with rapt attention and what Kallia could have sworn was... anger? It wasn't quiet anger.. it was different somehow but she couldn't place it. She couldn't see Zevran but that didn't mean he wasn't in the room, in fact chances were high that he probably was in the room. Leliana was in the corner of the room playing her lute, she made eye contact with the mage letting her know that she would assist if she needed it.

"I do not recall telling you my name," Kallia said suspiciously.

"You needn't worry. Your secret is safe with me, Warden," he laughed. "In fact, I come to you for... assistance. I belong to a collective of mages. We're a self policing group that just wants to be left alone but we occasionally run errands for mages still stuck within the Tower."

Kallia pursed her lips. "Any mage at the Tower has an array of ingredients available to them. If they cannot get their hands on an ingredient, there is a reason for it."

"What about informing families of a mage's death?" he asked seriously. "Just look, it costs you nothing but a few moments and you might be able to make some coin." He stood and walked back to his own table, leaving behind a small pouch with several papers in it. She eyed him carefully before she hesitantly picked up the pouch. She pulled out a stack of papers and began going through them.

She took several pages and returned the rest to the pouch. She stood and returned the pouch to the man, he nodded his thanks and as she returned to her seat she heard him call out.

"You are just as brave for travelling with a Templar, dear mage."

She froze for a moment but then continued on her way, ignoring his comment. He just smirked and re-attached the pouch to his belt.

.oO***Oo.

"I will not go with you to that wretched prison," Morrigan informed her. She crossed her arms and glared at Kallia. Alistair expected her to reprimand the witch. Tell her that her home was not wretched, vile, a prison or any of the other colorful terms the witch had used over the past several months.

He was not expecting Kallia to give the witch a bitter smile and tell her it was understandable.

"I thought you weren't scared of anything, Morrigan," he taunted.

"I'm not scared, you imbecile. Have you ever seen what the Veil looks like around even a failed Templar like you?" she sneered. " 'Tis twi-"

"Morrigan!" Kallia snapped. The witch's eyes darted to her, as did the rest of the parties. Alistair felt a shiver run through him at the cold look she was giving the witch, of course it could have just been because of the cold wind that was swirling around them from the lake. "I said you did not have to go, now drop it."

" 'Tis vomit inducing the way you protect him from the truth, Warden," Morrigan scoffed and turned on her heel back to the inn. Kallia didn't relax until there was a door separating her from the rest of the group.

"What did she mean? What was she going to say?" Alistair asked.

"Don't worry about it," Kallia told him. She closed her eyes as the first days of her apprenticeship came to mind. Kallia shook her head to clear the images from her mind, "Let's go talk to the Templar." She walked towards the docks, when she got close enough she could see the Templar's face she paused. "Wait here, let me talk to him," she told them.

"Why?" Alistair asked. Her stories of most of the Tower Templars did not paint them as someone he was comfortable leaving her alone with… Even if he was 10 feet away…

"Carroll is... he's a bit off in the head," she explained. "Too many people will make him nervous." Alistair shifted uncomfortably but could think of no excuse to keep her from talking to the other Templar, or even for him to go with her while she did so. He felt a wet nudge on his hand and looked down. Mangy looked him right in the eye reminding Alistair that, whether or not he believed in the dog's intelligence, he would not let anything happen to Kallia.

It was a small comfort.

Despite the dog's reassurance, Alistair checked that his shield was tight on his arm and his sword loose in its sheath as Kallia and Mangy approached the other Templar.

"Carroll?" Kallia spoke when she got close enough.

He studied her for a moment then said, "I remember you, you're from the Tower."

"That's right," she nodded. "Now I need to get back to the Tower, do you think you could let my friends and I use the boat?"

"The Knight Commander told me not to let anyone go to the Tower," he informed her, she could tell he was simply repeating an order.

"But I'm not going to the Tower, I'm simply _returning _to it," she explained.

Carroll squinted his eyes suspiciously, "If you're from the Tower what are you doing on this side of the Lake?"

"Remember? I left a few months ago to become a Grey Warden?"

He seemed to think about this for a moment before he said, "If you're a Grey Warden, go on then." He waved his hands in the air vaguely.

She waited for him to complete the sentence, when he continued to stare at her expectantly, she asked, "Go on... what?"

"Do some Grey Wardening then."

Kallia held in a laugh and kept a gentle look on her face. "Being a Grey Warden isn't something you _do, _it's who you are. I can no more do Grey Wardening than you can do Templaring."

"I can do Templaring," he informed her proudly and she saw the Veil twist as he summoned a Holy Smite.

Kallia quickly held her hands in front of her. "Ah ah ah ah," she said as you would to a young child to stop them from doing something. She had no doubt Alistair and Mangy had both been an instant from attacking the Templar, which wouldn't help them get across the lake or into the Tower. "Surely you don't mean to hurt me, Carroll," she questioned.

He frowned in confusion. "No, I don't."

"Well if you 'do Templaring' on me by using Holy Smite, you'll hurt me," she explained and his eyes went wide as she connected the dots for him. "I think Greagoir would want me to go across the lake, don't you?" she added.

He thought then nodded. "Yeah, yeah he would. I mean you're a mage, what kind of Templar would I be if I kept a mage _out _of the Tower?"

"Do you think my friends could come as well?" She asked. "Since the boat is already going to be making the trip..."

He though again then replied, "Sure, I mean it is already making the trip. You want that I should take you there now?"

.oO***Oo.

_These are the songs I had in mind for Kallia to play._

[1] http: / / www . youtube . com / watch ? v = KyWOIKCtjiw

[2] http : / / www . youtube . com / watch ? v = e06Avgyj8hk

[3] http : / / www . youtube . com / watch ? v = -4kTei0XrCs


	18. They Say You Can't Go Home Again

_Wow, I'm amazed at the response I got on that last chapter! I think that's the most reviews I've gotten on any one chapter yet :) I'm glad you all liked it so much. _

_Thank you to my reviewers ^-^ Eva Galena, Bingham Vance, USAF713, bdub, Artemys, and Aussie Cavalier. And of course thanks to my beta fishy Eva ^-^._

_Well, I have to keep the message short and sweet this week, I have stuff to do and I'm exhausted from work (but the eye twitch that I've had for like a week seems to have finally stopped so that's definitely a bonus)._

_One last little funny thing that I noticed when writing this chapter that I thought you all might get a kick out of. Grammar check keeps telling me to correct "mages" to "images." The one line that particularly caught Eva and my attention was, "The images are probably already dead."_

_Either that or it thinks Apple created the mages. iMage, get it? *nudge nudge wink wink* Ha… Ha… Ha…_

_I just thought it was absolutely hilarious when I read it… I dunno, I have a rather odd sense of humor sometimes. _

_Anyway, on with the story. Next chapter, next chapter._

.oO***Oo.

Greagoir recognized her the moment Carroll lead her through the doors to the Tower. He quickly finished his conversation and made his way over to the group. He eyed her, "So you have returned. I must say I did not expect to see you alive again, but I am glad you are."

"Are you really glad I'm not dead?" Kallia wondered with a sad smile remembered he'd been determined to have her Tranquil or dead the last time she'd seen him. Greagoir eyed her critically.

"Perhaps. But now we're dealing with something that doesn't involve you, _Grey Warden_," Greagoir emphasized her title with narrowed eyes.

"What happened? I've heard rumors but..."

"We have it under control, it's none of your business anymore," he told her gruffly.

"This was my home, I have a right to know what's happened," Kallia demanded.

Greagoir was quiet for a moment before he suddenly began to pace. If she hadn't known it was bad before she certainly new it now, in all her life she had never seen Greagoir so upset or frustrated that he actually _paced_. "I don't know what rumors you've heard since I haven't been able to leave the Tower to hear them myself but... the Tower has been overrun with abominations and maleficar."

"How… How did that happen?" Kallia asked utterly terrified. She could see Alistair shifting uncomfortably from the corner of her eye. He'd had his fill of abominations and maleficar at Redcliff and it was still a sore topic for him despite her having reasoned with him.

"We were too complacent. First Jowan, now this. Don't think I've forgotten your part in Jowan's escape," he sent her a mild glare but it was obvious he was too tired to add much fire to it. She saw Alistair tense at Jowan's name and send her a sidelong glance. Kallia held back a sigh, between Redcliffe, taking Zevran into their party, and now the Tower, this had not been a good week for him.

"Where is Irving for all of this? Surely he hasn't left you to deal with it on your own."

"To be perfectly honest, we don't know. We saw only demons hunting mages and Templars alike. I realized we could not defeat them so I told my men to flee."

"So you just locked them in there?" Kallia demanded angrily. "Got your men out and left everyone else to die?"

"We couldn't tell the difference between a mage who was in control of themselves and an abomination. It had to be done. You should calm yourself, Kallia. Your time away from the Tower has made you quite emotional."

_No, you leaving everyone I've ever considered family to die has made me emotional_, was on the tip of her tongue but instead she took a deep breath. Either way he was right, she was emotional and it would do no one any good. "What can I do to help?" she asked instead, much more calmly.

"I've sent word to Denerim for reinforcements and the Right of Annulment-"

"You can't!" The blood drained from Kallia's face with Greagoir's statement.

"The mages are probably already dead. Any abominations must be dealt with, no matter what," Alistair spoke from behind her.

"And what if they aren't already dead? The Right of Annulment doesn't just take care of abominations, Alistair," Kallia snapped.

"I have little choice. Everything within those walls must be wiped out so the Tower can be made safe again!" Greagoir shouted.

"Made safe for who if you kill everyone in it?" she asked.

Kallia could see on his face that despite being a Templar (whose job is essentially to kill mages) this was not something Greagoir wanted to do. That was good, she could use that. It would be easier to convince him not to if he didn't actually want to.

"Ah, excuse me," Zevran spoke from behind them. "But perhaps you could explain what this 'Right of Annulment' is, yes?"

Kallia glanced over her shoulder and met his eyes. "Basically?" she returned a hurt glare to Alistair. "It gives the Templars permission to go into the Tower and kill everything that moves . Mages, apprentices, Tranquil, the First Enchanter, _children_."

"We have killed children that became abominations before, Kallia," Greagoir said to catch her attention. Alistair could have sworn he saw her flinch, but it was so minute he thought he'd imagined it. "I have no choice. What else can be done?"

"There's always a choice. Let me go in. I'll clear it out," Kallia offered.

"These are not like the one you faced when you were younger. They are powerful."

"At the very least I can lead out any survivors," she argued.

"If there are survivors, the Maker himself has shielded them. It is too painful to hope to find survivors and find... none."

"The mages aren't defenseless, there _have_ to be survivors," Kallia insisted. Greagoir looked like he might argue again so she added, "I can do this, Greagoir. I know I can."

He huffed gruffly, though Kallia knew him well enough to know he did it to hide the relief he felt at having found another option. "You're confidence will be your undoing," he paused then sighed, "As well as mine. Very well, but know that once you go past that door there's no coming back. I'll only open it once I have Irving's assurance that it is safe."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet. You have to hurry, the authorization for the Rite will arrive any day now. I'll hold off as long as I can but I won't wait forever."

"How long?"

"Two days at the most, can you do it by then?" Only those who'd known Greagoir their entire lives would have been able to catch the slightest hint of hope in his voice.

Kallia's face was set in a grim expression, "I have to."

Greagoir nodded, "What little supplies we have left are with the Quartermaster. Take what you need and tell the guard by the door when you're ready to go through." Kallia nodded and started walking toward the man he had pointed to. "And Kallia?"

She stopped and turned to face him. "Yes?"

"Maker watch over you."

Kallia smiled and nodded her head, the blessing itself meant little to her but she appreciated the thought behind it. The others watched her prepare giving no indication who she planned on taking.

But she didn't.

Instead she turned towards the door with only Mangy at her side.

"Forgive me, my dear Warden, but who are you taking with you? Surely you do not plan to go alone...?" Zevran finally asked.

"I can't ask any of you to do this. It's my home, my fight," she responded. In a blink of an eye the elf was at her side, the one not occupied by Mangy.

"Ah, but it is a fight, no? I pledged my loyalty so long as you have need of me and this rather sounds like a time you have need of me, yes?"

"You don't have to," she told him once more, though it was accompanied with a small grateful smile.

"So long as you are alive I am in no danger from the Crows, so it is rather in my best interest to keep you alive, yes? I shall go."

Alistair was not having that. If she was taking the assassin she should take her fellow Grey Warden. Blight be damned, there was no way he was going to let her be alone with the assassin any more than he had to. He, too, stepped forward to stand beside her.

"I'll go too, Warden," Leliana said, stepping forward to stand by Mangy.

It wasn't long before the entire group was watching the heavy double doors close behind them. The first room on the left was a room very familiar to Kallia and while the others began rooting through desks and footlockers, Kallia herself found a very familiar bed.

"Are you alright, Kali?" Leliana asked her, catching Alistair's attention. He pretended to be looking in the footlocker nearby.

"Hmm? I'm fine. It's just… there are a lot of memories here," Kallia answered distractedly.

"Was this your bed?"

"Yes. I slept on the bottom bunk. My best friend had the top." From the corner of his eye, he saw her rest her hand on the wooden frame.

"Your best friend? Meaning Jowan?" Leliana pushed.

"He wasn't always a blood mage, you know. We were so happy before the day of my Harrowing. He didn't know they planned to make him Tranquil and he had Lily. You see this, here?" she pointed to a scorch mark where her hand had been. "He set the bed on fire. He never was any good at primal spells, you know? His robes caught fire too. Gave himself third degree burns. And this one," Kallia pointed to a deep gash. "He was trying to summon his first Spell Wisp… and it exploded," she continued with a laugh. "The Templars threw a fit about that… They were sure he was trying to create a bomb and escape the Tower."

"You still care about him, blood mage or not," Leliana said softly.

"He lied to me. He betrayed me," Kallia said sadly then her voice hardened. "Now he's just another blood mage. Let's go, there are no abominations in this room to take care of," She turned on her heel and quickly made her way to the door.

In the next room Alistair searched the area that served as their washroom. "So, Kallia… What exactly are these big tubs for? Habitats for all the people you've turned into toads?"

"Big tubs?" she asked as she came around the corner to see what he was talking about. "Oh. Those are bath tubs, Alistair. I'm sure you've seen one before."

"But there's nothing to block you from seeing the person across from you…" He stated, his face flushing as thoughts of Kallia bathing entered his mind.

"Yes, I know. I've used them, remember?"

"Oh, so like one was for the men and one was for the women," he smiled with understanding.

"No, it was for whoever was in this room. Both men and women share the bathrooms."

"But…" Alistair frowned. "Did the men and women take turns then?"

Kallia laughed. "Well, we could hardly all fit in one tub at the same time, could we? So yes, we took turns."

"So you got to watch the other men and women bathing then?" Leliana asked.

"Some people were more self-conscious about it. You didn't watch them. Some people liked putting on a show," Kallia told them, frowning a little in confusion as Alistair's face became several shades darker "I usually just bathed across from Jowan."

"You know, I think I like this Tower of yours, my dear Warden," Zevran chimed in.

"Most the women liked to tease the poor Templars. We used to joke that a woman could get away with anything as long as she did it naked," Kallia chuckled sadly at some private joke. "Surprisingly there's no written rule that says a mage _has _to wear their robes…"Alistair's eyes became as big as saucers and his mouth fell open. It began moving but no words came out causing Kallia to laugh and change the subject for his benefit. "Are we done looting? We should move on."

They followed they hallways, checking each room for abominations and demons, it wasn't long before they came upon a large group of mages and children. Kallia recognized the silver haired senior mage and called out to her. "Wynne!"

Wynne and the children turned to face her at her call but while the children smiled brightly and ran to her side to grab hold of her robes it was not a happy expression they saw on the senior enchanter's face. "What are you doing here?"

"This was my home, I came to investigate."

Wynne smiled at her gratefully. "I see you still care about the Circle and our Tower. Unfortunately the Circle is in grave danger."

Kallia nodded, already knowing. "We have two days before they invoke the Rite of Annulment."

"So Greagoir thinks the Circle is beyond hope. He probably assumes we're all dead," Wynne closed her eyes. While she collected herself, she missed the significant look Kallia sent Alistair. "They abandoned us to our fate, but even trapped as we are have survived. Once they have the Rite of Annulment though…"

"Wynne, how did this happen?" Kallia asked, Wynne motioned them over to some benches where they sat and the elder mage explained everything that had happened in the two and a half months since she'd left the Tower.

"Leave it to us, Wynne," Kallia reassured her when the elder mage had finished explaining.

"I erected a barrier over the door so nothing could attack the children. You won't be able to get through as long as the barrier holds. I will dispel it if you will allow me to join you to save the Circle."

"But you should stay here and protect the children. We can fight our way to Irving," Kallia argued.

"Petra and Kinnon will stay with them to protect them and if we slay all the fiends we encounter along the way, none will get by to threaten the children."

Kallia pursed her lips in displeasure but knew there was no changing Wynne's mind. "I'll leave some of my group behind too then. That way if anything does get through it won't just be up to Petra and Kinnon, not that I don't think you're capable," she quickly added to the two. "But we mages are great at _dealing_ damage, but not so great at _taking_ it. You'll need someone to keep them off you while you cast."

Wynne eyed Kallia proudly as she took control of the situation the watched with interest as she knelt to be eye level with the dog that was lying at her feet. The dog barked and Kallia smiled. "That's right, protect the pups."

The older mage couldn't stop her eyebrow from rising. Irving had never mentioned his star-pupil thought she could talk to animals. Was this new development a defense mechanism to being away from the Tower (and thus everything she's ever known) or was it something that had simply never been revealed because there were no animals at the Tower?

"Leliana, would you mind staying as well? Maybe you can keep the kids distracted a bit? I bet they would love the tale of Aveline." Leliana smiled and nodded then reached into her pack to pull out her lute. "Sten you stay too."

"…Very well."

Kallia nodded her head determinedly. "Greagoir said he'd only take Irving's word that the Tower is safe," Kallia informed her. Wynne's expression grew grim.

"Then our path is set. We must find Irving if he yet lives," Wynne answered as she dispelled the barrier.


	19. The Broken Circle: Amell

_Hmm so we get a bit of Kallia's history in this chapter. Just to let you know, I'm going to try to (in some way shape or form) incorporate as many of the origins as I can. I can't promise they'll all be there, but I'm going to try. _

_Ok, so I keep forgetting to do this. Everyone should check out Eva's story that I've been betaing for her ^-^ (You know the drill, remove the spaces)_

_http : / / www . fanfiction . net / s / 6010029 / 1 / Abandoned_Sanctuary_

_She's moved it out of the crossover section because you don't really need to understand Final Fantasy XIII (I think that's the right number. I'm not really sure, either way I haven't played it and I'm betaing it so she explains what she needs to in the story). So check it out ^-^_

_She's been a godsend on the chapter I just finished (that I've been working on for like 3 weeks now). Honestly, without her it probably would not have gotten done :P You guys would have caught up and had to wait and nobody wants that. _

_I like to think you're all sitting on the edge of your chairs on Mondays waiting for this story ;)_

_And of course thanks to Bingham Vance and Evalyne for reviewing this week._

_Which brings me to my final point before I let you get on with the story: I'm thinking of setting up my own site for my stories (mainly just this one because this is the only one I think I think anybody really cares about). _

_How many of you would go to another site (that I'm thinking of setting up) where you'll get the chapters a week earlier and potentially the steamy bits that I haven't decided if I'm going to leave out of this site (since FF. net doesn't like steamy bits)._

_Anyway, enjoy this week's chapter: Amell._

.oO***Oo.

Kallia looked at her companions, they were all exhausted but that wasn't unexpected. They'd covered nearly fifteen floors since entering the Tower. A lifetime without the sun had given her a fairly accurate internal clock and Kallia's was now telling her it was time to find a safe place for her companions to sleep.

Her eyes wondered to Alistair. They'd run into several possessed and enchanted Templars on their way which meant the Veil was thinning. The fact that demons were even going after Templars at all was a telltale sign of that. Normally a Templar's connection to the Fade wasn't strong enough for a demon to grab hold of or if it could, it wasn't worth it. The thread was too thin, it would break before the demon could feed off it.

She would not allow a demon to get a hold on Alistair.

Once they had that connection the only way to undo was to go to the Fade and kill the demon. It wasn't always easy to tell when a non-mage was being haunted by a demon. Their connection to the Fade was too weak to allow them to be possessed completely, instead the emotion the demon fed on was amplified. Since it wasn't a full possession, the demon could only effect the actions of the victim through dreams and quiet whispers to their subconscious. Because of this, the Templars and mages had taken to calling it "haunting."

Kallia glanced around her. She could see the tattered threads of the Veil, the holes that had not yet begun to heal. This room would not be a safe place for Alistair to sleep. Wynne caught her eye then shook her head slightly, she agreed they could not sleep here, so Kallia signaled the companions to the next room.

There were no demons when the group walked through the door. No demons, no blood mages, no abominations. Kallia felt the Veil and was relieved to find it practically untouched in this room.

"We'll make camp here," she told them and took her pack off her back. Her shoulders cried their relief at the loss of the extra weight and the look on her face did not go unnoticed by Alistair. He made a mental note to take some of the heavier items from her pack when she slept.

Zevran and Alistair rolled out their bedrolls on the strangely warm stone. Kallia did not set up her threshold spell, she wanted the Veil to be as untouched as possible while her Templar slept.

The thought startled her and as she glanced at him from the corner of her eye she remembered insisting he wasn't only a month and a half before, but he had gone against every fiber of his being and forgiven her for her involvement in Isolde's death. No, Alistair was definitely her Templar.

Hers to lead, hers to command, and most importantly hers to protect.

But rather than feeling like this was a burden it caused an unfamiliar feeling of warmth to spread through her chest. She was surprised to find that she felt _proud_ that he trusted her, even unconsciously, with protecting him.

"You're not setting up your bedroll," Alistair observed.

Kallia shook her head. "The Tower is a feast for demons right now and mages are the main course. It's not safe for Wynne or me to sleep," she explained.

"The Veil is thick here, child. I'm sure it would be safe for us to get an hour or two's sleep," Wynne suggested. "It would be unwise to fight without rest," she gave the younger mage a pointed look. Wynne knew what Kallia could be like when she was tired.

Kallia hesitated but a lifetime of training can't be forgotten just because she'd been away from the Tower for a month and a half. Wynne was the senior mage, the Senior Enchanter, _and _she had been asked to be the First Enchanter so it was safe to assume the she knew what she was talking about.

"Alright," she said after a moment of thinking. "But only one of us sleeps at a time and Alistair is awake when either of us is sleeping," she added.

Wynne smiled, having been about to suggest the same thing. "A wise decision, child."

Alistair looked at the two women, utterly confused. Zevran, though paying rapt attention to the conversations of the others, gave no outward sigh and dug through his pack for a whetstone to sharpen his daggers.

"Why me?" Alistair asked.

Wynne laughed at his boyish innocence. "Because you are a Templar, young man."

"I'm not," he was quick to explain, remembering how long it had taken Kallia to trust him because of that small fact. "I never took my vows."

Wynne chuckled at him, "Vows or no, you have a Templar's training."

He relaxed, seeing this didn't seem to bother the other mage, but then it hit him. "How did you know?" he asked out of curiously.

"That you're a Templar? Any mage can recognize one, Alistair. A Templar affects the Veil around him a certain way… Apostates might not know what it means, but any mage can see it just as clearly as you can feel it when a mage does magic," the older mage told him. Alistair recognized the sad, almost pained look in the older mage's eye. He wondered why mages always seem to look at him like that, he'd even caught Kallia looking at him like that several times. "It helps that you've been using you're Templar abilities while you fight," Wynne added with a chuckle.

"Oh," was all he answered then turned to his pack as he spoke to Kallia. "We should go through our loot and get it divided. I think I picked up a couple of Lyrium potions." He began to empty his pack and Wynne's attention was piqued as the items became larger once removed, allowing him to carry far more than should have been possible.

Kallia nodded and began removing items from her pack as well. The items that came out of her and Zevran's packs did the same thing. Alistair's pack was emptied first and Wynne asked if she could see it. He handed it to her without a thought and she immediately ran her fingers over the threads of magic that ran along the seams.

"Is this you're doing, Kallia?"

They younger mage glanced up and answered a simple, "Yes," before she returned to her sorting.

"How long did it take you to design it?"

"I've been thinking about it since about a day after I left the Tower but I didn't start designing it until after Lothering so... a month and a half, give or take. I only just finished it a few days ago." Wynne nodded. When she'd been sent to Ostagar she, herself, had considered trying something like this but had simply never found the time to do it. "I have the design in my journal if you want to see it. I can even copy it to a piece of vellum for you if we have one," Kallia added and held out a leather bound journal that was all too familiar to Wynne. She had helped Irving come up with a few of the charms on the journal as well as weaving them all together so the spells wouldn't interfere with one another.

It was quite the masterpiece and Wynne was glad to see Kallia was using it as intended.

She flipped until she found the foldout page that contained the final design for the charm. She studied it while the others had finished their sorting.

"The reason the threads are woven into the actual seams of the pack…?" Wynne started as Kallia began making their dinner. She suspected she already knew the reason the charm had been designed that way but wanted to be sure, Irving had bragged on many occasions of his star-pupil's charming abilities.

"So that if the pack is ever destroyed or falls apart the charm will unweave itself," Kallia answered over her shoulder as she stirred the stew she was making. "That way you won't end up with an empty space with the spell around it."

Wynne nodded, she had suspected as much. "And the reason you used an inorganic weave?"

"So that our hands don't become smaller when taking items out," the young elf explained. Wynne couldn't help but smile.

Irving had not exaggerated her abilities.

.oO***Oo.

Alistair looked at the young mage who they'd finally convinced to curl get some sleep. He chuckled slightly, seeing the way she had bundled her blanket up and draped her arm over it to replace the dog she had become so used to sleeping beside her. He couldn't help but sigh sadly as he thought about the way the dog seemed to have become so irreplaceable to her so quickly.

Alistair noticed Zevran eyeing the Kallia's Harrowing dagger and slipped it into his boot. The elf had seemed far too interested when Kallia had insisted Alistair have it while she slept. Zevran didn't ask and the others needed no explanation of what the dagger was so no explanation was given but still he had trouble believing the elf's curiosity was completely benign.

He then turned his attention to the elder mage who had just put some strange white plant in a mortar.

"So it really doesn't bother you that I'm a Templar?" he asked her quietly as he made his way over to Kallia's pack and pulled out several of the heavier pieces of armor to put in his own. The charm might significantly reduce the weight of the items but she was still carrying more than she really should have.

Wynne looked up from the potion she was working on. "I believe what I heard was that you are, in fact, not a Templar," she told him.

"Well, yes… but I still have all the abilities of one. Doesn't that make you… nervous?" he probed.

Wynne chuckled, "Should it? I am no apostate."

Alistair hesitated he couldn't help his gaze from wondering back to Kallia. "I know mages can sometimes…" he trailed off, not really sure how to describe it.

Wynne followed his gaze and her face softened. "She wasn't always like this, you know." She told him sadly. His head shot up as he looked at her. "When she was younger she was much more open… trusting. She had a very close friend…" Wynne hesitated to continue. It was not her story to tell.

"Jowan?"

Wynne looked at him in surprise. "How did you- Oh, it doesn't matter. No, there was a third friend. A human girl. I don't remember her first name, she always just went by Amell but she was also Irving's apprentice," Wynne sighed sadly. "You have to understand that while Jowan and Amell both had the raw potential to rival Kallia's… They lacked the control and the discipline needed to gain that control to actually achieve any sort of real power.

"Jowan and Kallia were brought to the Tower very young, neither of them could remember anything about their families when they got older, but Amell wasn't brought until she was eight or nine and she had been a noble's daughter. She resented the Tower for taking her away from her family and her riches. She wanted nothing more than to go back to it." Wynne turned her attention back to mashing the plant, needing a distraction. "Amell was thirteen when she became an abomination and Kallia walked in on her strangling a five year old boy. From what I understand Kallia didn't realize at first what was going on but once she did she screamed for the Templars. The abomination blocked the door they couldn't get in."

"It took the Templars fifteen minutes to break down the door. They found Kallia kneeling over the dead boy, trying to heal him with tears streaming down her face. She was too young then to understand it was too late for him. Amell was dead by her hand," Wynne finished.

Alistair was had a look of horror on his face. "And this is when Kallia was only thirteen?" he asked.

"No, Alistair. Amell was the oldest of the group, Kallia was only about eight. She put a shield around herself and wouldn't take it down for anyone, even Jowan. She didn't go to classes, she didn't eat, as far as we know she didn't sleep, she just sat there and stared at nothing. Irving convinced Greagoir to order the Templars to leave her be. Jowan and Cullen managed to talk her into taking the shield down several days later but when the physical shield came down the metaphorical one remained.

"She was never the same, very few ever meant anything to her after that. When Irving told me what happened with Jowan that forced her to leave…" Wynne's movement stilled and her eyes rested on the young mage. "We didn't think she'd allow herself to trust anyone ever again," she looked at Alistair, her eyes falling to the boot where he had tucked the Harrowing dagger Kallia had given him. "But she trusts you. She _cares_ for you and that is a dangerous thing."

For once, Alistair had nothing to say.


	20. The Broken Circle: Wardrobe Malfunction

_*Sigh* So this is my last week having a job… Anyone know someone who's looking to hire a software engineer? Preferably in the Idaho? My prospects are not looking particularly good at this point in time._

_You know I just suddenly noticed this has over 60 reviews. Can you all believe that this was once just a quickie one-shot? I certainly can't._

_I really want to thank everyone who took the time to review last week. From working so much to get a project done before my last day to the very fact that the job I've been working at since I was in high school is coming to an end, it's been a very stressful week and I really needed the extra boost the reviews and Eva gave me. So thanks you USAF713, shauna, Bingham Vance, Evalyne, and asteracaea. _

_Anyway, enough depressing you all…_

_I am amazed how many of you said you would follow the story if I posted it somewhere else! To be clear on something, I wouldn't __**stop**__ posting it on FF. net, I'd just post the chapters a week sooner on the other site. It's still undecided as of yet if I'm even going to take it to another site, it kinda depends on how cheap my boyfriend can get the hosting and domain name for. _

_If I do take it somewhere else I'll be sure to post a link to it here. _

_Ok, one last thing before I let you read. I __**really**__ recommend you read Eva's story Abandoned Sanctuary (if you aren't already). As we've been writing our own stories and betaing each other's it's been very interesting to see the way one story affects the other. Not directly or very obviously, but little things that you wouldn't really notice unless you'd read both. Her story has inspired offhanded comments in mine and mine in hers. _

_Nothing major, like I said, just little things. _

_Anyway.. Enough from me. Enjoy your chapter and your week!_

.oO***Oo.

Kallia growled in frustration. The small group kept encountering possessed Templars and, true to their training, they kept targeting _her_. Every time they dispelled magic it was like a punch to the gut and her stomach was about to revolt at the mistreatment. Not to mention the long skirt of her robes kept getting in her way.

Lack of sleep was making her impatient and sloppy. Rather than allowing Alistair to take point, she kept stomping ahead of him. Kallia could feel his concerned gaze on her back. She was downing Lyrium potions like they were water, the tingle of excess magic in her system the only thing keeping her running after nearly two days with only three hours of sleep. Even Wynne was drinking a potion or two more than she should have needed.

Alistair couldn't get Jowan's words out of his mind. _She gets so caught up in taking care of everyone else she forgets to take care of herself. _He had doubted the mage at the time (not that he really had any reason to believe him…). Kallia was always so on top of things, always seemed to know exactly what to do and making sure everyone was taken care of. She had even gone out of her way to heat the water for the men as she had done for the women when they bathed in the cold streams and rivers… How could someone who makes sure everyone else's needs are met forget about her own?

But as he watched her stomp her way into the next room where he could hear the quiet mutterings of what he was sure was a demon, he could see exactly what Jowan had meant.

"Demon! Die!" Kallia yelled as she kicked in the door.

"Do you hear something, love?" a Templar asked the purple-fire haired demon.

"It is nothing, my darling," the demon brought her hand up to gently brush his cheek. "Just the door, I will get it. The children have finished supper, tuck them into bed while I see who it is."

"Don't be loooong," he sing-songed as he slapped the demon's rear. "The children will want to kiss you good night!"

She turned to face the mage and her companions. "You are intruding on a loving, intimate moment and I dislike interruptions," the demon pointedly glared at Kallia who was now standing with lightning sparking from her fingers.

"And I dislike demons, now you die," Kallia launched the lightning bolt at the demon. The demon turned and in front of the Templar.

"Help! There are bandits at the door, they're going to murder the children!" She cried, sounding like a frantic housewife.

"They won't get past me!" he yelled.

And even when he thought Kallia was a bandit and not a mage she was the first one he went after. He swung his sword at her and she tried to freeze him but when she stepped back her skirt got in the way and she fell backwards.

The world spun for an instant then blinding pain split her chest. Someone was screaming, crying out in pain, and it was with an almost detached mind that it occurred to her that _she_ was the one screaming. Kallia felt the magic enter her system but the pain didn't lessen any. A vial was held to her lips and she downed the bitter liquid. The pain lessened and she sat up with a wince.

"Mage bane, couldn't heal. Not life-threatening now," the older mage panted as she downed a Lyrium potion. Kallia nodded and muttered her thanks before standing and assisting Alistair and Zevran with the killing of the demon, completely ignoring the fact that the top of her robe now hung open. They had apparently managed to take down the Templar on their own and with Kallia's assistance the demon soon fell as well. Alistair turned to Kallia. He looked ready to scold her for barging into fights but before he could say a word Kallia turned to Zevran.

"I need a dagger," she informed him. He arched an eyebrow but a dagger appeared in his hand seemingly from thin air. He flipped it so he held the blade and held it out to her hilt first. "Thank you," she said curtly as she took it.

She bent over and stabbed the dagger into the long blue fabric of her robe. When she was done none of the under skirt remained leaving only the blue over skirt and apron. Kallia nodded, satisfied with her work and held the dagger back out to Zevran, who she noticed had picked up the excess blue fabric and cut himself a long strip with another dagger.

Kallia happened to glance at Alistair and, noticing his bright red face, reached up and untied the two long leather cords that held her hair in the plaited buns at the nape of her neck. Using one of the cords she tied her robes shut, the other she used to pull her hair into a loose pony.

When Zevran took the dagger back, instead of putting it back wherever he'd pulled it from he knelt in front of her. After wrapping the fabric around her thigh tightly, he slipped the dagger between her skin and the makeshift holster. "You never know when you might need it again, my dear Warden."

Alistair wasn't sure which made him more angry: the fact that the elf's hands lingered a moment longer than they needed to or that Kallia didn't seem to care. She even thanked him, then laughed when the elf replied, "Oh but for the chance to touch your creamy thighs I would gladly give up a dagger, my dear Warden."

She laughed! Alistair decided that she was simply too tired to notice and tried to dismiss it from his mind.

Wynne was looking at her disapprovingly but Kallia ignored her. She'd rather wear mere tatters of her robes than end up dead because she left them in one piece.

.oO***Oo.

Cullen opened his eyes to see her kneeling before him once again. She wore only her undergarments as she pouted, "Don't you want me, Cullen?"

"You aren't real, begone spirit!" he shouted and began reciting the chant to prevent mind domination once more.

When he opened his eyes, Kallia was gone.

.oO***Oo.

Kallia took the Enchanter's Cowl off her head and examined it. There would be no repairing it, the metal had cracked when the last Arcane Horror had tossed her against the wall. She'd been lucky the blow hadn't cracked her head open as well. She turned to examine her group, everyone was a little worse for wear but she seemed to be taking the brunt of the damage.

Kallia could tell neither Alistair nor Wynne were particularly pleased with her at the moment but she was too tired to care. She downed another Lyrium potion and started up the stairs to the next room.

Kallia was about to storm through another door when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned her head to see Alistair's scowl, the thought entered her mind that he shouldn't scowl. No, he looked better with a smile, even when she sometimes knew the smile was just to prevent her from realizing he didn't actually feel like smiling. Maybe she should smile, that usually made him smile.

A hysterical giggle bubbled in her throat but she forced it down.

"Maybe I should take point," he told her and moved in front of her before she had a chance to respond.

.oO***Oo.

She was crouching before him, her long hair put up in buns to keep them out of the way. Her golden robes were immaculate, just the way she'd always kept her blue apprentice robes. She was looking at him with the soft, caring expression she usually reserved for the children of the Tower.

"What have they done to you, Cullen?" she whispered sadly. Her hand came up and reached through the barrier to gently touch his cheek.

"You aren't real," he whispered but couldn't stop himself from leaning into the touch as he began reciting the chant again.

When he opened his eyes, Kallia was gone.

.oO***Oo.

"Oh look, visitors. I'd entertain you but… too much effort involved," the abomination turned to face them as he spoke.

"Sloth demon," Kallia whispered under her breath for her companions, not that it made much of a difference. Several witty retorts were on the tip of her tongue but you never knew how long an abomination would feel like talking before they got bored and just attacked, so instead she asked the practical question. "Who is that man and what have you done to him?"

"He's just resting, poor lad. He was so very, very tired. You want to join us, don't you? Would you like to just lie down and… forget about all this? Leave it all behind?" Her companions were saying something, something about resisting, but it was taking all Kallia had to stay awake without having to warn them to stay awake as well. "Why do you fight? You deserve more… You deserve a rest. The world will go on without you…"

Kallia's world faded to darkness.

**.oO***Oo.**

She was kneeling before him naked. The blood mage had cut off her hands knowing that was what she used to channel her power. There were tears in her eyes but she didn't let them fall. She just held her head up with as much pride as she could with the blood mage holding her hair to expose her neck.

"Beg for her life, Templar. Beg and I might spare her," he pressed the knife into her throat and a small trickle of blood appeared. He could tell she swallowed the whimper that tried to escape her throat.

"This isn't real," he whispered, his voice cracking. The blood mage slit her throat. Cullen closed his eyes but he could still hear the gurgling as she tried to breathe and only managed to get lungs full of blood. "It isn't real," he repeated, this time it was more to assure himself that he had not just killed her.

When he opened his eyes, Kallia and the blood mage were gone.


	21. The Broken Circle: Cullen

_Oh I am so mean with the cliffhangers. _

_Hmm… So with some encouragement I've finally started working on an Original Fiction… Its nowhere near ready to be seen by the public (Its barely even ready to been seen by Eva) but I've started on it. It has an existence and a very vague plotline. _

_That being said, because the plotline is so vague (nowhere near planned out to the point that Stars is) you'll probably hear me complaining about it non-stop until it's done :P Be prepared… _

_Or ignore me. It's really up to you. _

_Oh man, I'm finally making some progress to get ahead of you guys. I'm basically redoing all of Denerim so its much more detailed. You guys will both love and hate me for it. And I can probably guarantee there are some of you that will want to kill me in my sleep :P I'm very bad with cliffhangers. _

_But, to make up for it, I promise that if I get a job that pays me $30,000 a year or more, I will publish an extra chapter to celebrate. And you're in luck because there's actually a decent chance of that happening within the next week or two. _

_Anyway, I should probably get on with the chapter before you all decide to kill me __**now **__instead of waiting until Denerim. _

_So that you to my reviewers asteracaea, Eva Galana, Evalyne( - beta fishy ), and BDub._

_And of course thanks to Eva for betaing. _

_OH! One more thing before I let you on with the next chapter. So I started reading over some of the older chapters and noticed a few misspellings and inconstancies, so when I have some extra time I'm probably going to go back and fix those. Nothing major, this is just a warning._

_Damn, it is just me or do these notes get longer and longer? This one took up almost an entire page in word -_-;_

_Enjoy! (Finally, fwew)_

.oO***Oo.

Alistair was the first one to wake up. He groaned as he sat up, "Did I get hit on the head during the last fight?" he asked and brought his hands up to rub his eyes. "Sweet Andraste, I just had the weirdest dream…"

He had been so happy. He'd found Goldanna and she had a whole gaggle of kids. He'd been retelling to them about his days defeating the Blight and then Kallia had walked into the room. She'd been wearing Warden Commander robes that had been made especially for her. There had never been a mage Warden Commander before but he'd always known she would be the one to rebuild the Ferelden Grey Wardens. She crouched to hug the children then asked to speak with him outside. Of course he'd gone.

She was his wife after all.

But it wasn't a dream, not really. Not the kind where you go to sleep and wake up on your own.

Kallia, Zevran, and Wynne's bodies were lying around him as well as that of the other man's. Alistair picked up his sword and shield, ready to defend them all should the abomination come back. His Templar instincts screamed at him to watch Kallia and Wynne to be sure they didn't become abominations as well.

Alistair faced the door and waited.

.oO**Oo.

Zevran was second to wake up. "Ugh, I have got to stop getting knocked out," he complained. "You know this really only became a problem after I joined up with you, my dear Warden."

It had been a pleasant enough dream, as far as dreams go. Well besides the hours of torture, but it had ended well. Kallia had stormed into the Crows secret hideout when he was barely beginning his training. It was a nice thought to have, to be saved before he became what he had to in order to survive.

Alistair was standing in front of him holding out a hand to help him up. Zevran held back a laugh at the look on the other man's face. Obviously Alistair was loath to trust the elf but realized he had to because of the situation. Zevran decided he had to give the man credit for at least trying to put aside his problems in order to… do whatever it is they were supposed to do while they waited for the others to awaken.

.oO***Oo.

Wynne was the next to awaken. She, however, didn't have a lot of time to dwell on all the apprentices she had failed. She wasn't able to think about Aniren. No, Wynne awoke to the sounds of a battle being fought.

A brief explanation from Alistair, shouted over his shoulder, was all she needed to jump right into the fray, sending healing spells and arcane bolts every which way. She could tell Alistair was not used to the way he was fighting. He'd become used to fighting at Kallia's side, to _her_ doing the damage while his job was just to take it.

Instead he got a wrinkled old mage who could keep him alive but could do very little to help him take down the creature he was fighting and an assassin that he didn't trust at his own back. Not to mention the abomination was not above making cheap shots at Kallia's unconscious body, since that was apparently who he had come there to kill.

All they could do was fight him off as long as they could and hope that Kallia killed the demon on the other side of the Veil.

.oO***Oo.

Cullen could see Kalus stripped of his armor and most of his clothes and tied to the table just outside the barrier. He tried telling himself that the other Templar was already dead but it was so hard to believe when Kalus seemed so real.

She stood next to the restrained Templar and when she turned she had such a cold look as he'd never seen on her face before. "You couldn't save me, Cullen. I went off to Ostagar and you thought I would finally be safe there, away from all the Templars and the Chantry that want to kill me because I'm too powerful. Do you know what the darkspawn did to me?" She pulled a knife from somewhere in her folded robes and slowly dragged the knife across her palm. Red blossomed from the cut and she held her hand over Kalus' chest. He screamed when the drops of blood made contact with his skin. A malicious smile covered her face, "They taught me a few things."

"You're not her! She would never do that to Kalus!" Cullen screamed and closed his eyes. "This isn't real!"

When he opened them, Kallia and Kalus were gone.

.oO***Oo.

Alistair got a lucky hit in and managed to stab the abomination through the chest. It dropped at his feet dead. They rushed to get away from it, Alistair stopping only to grab Kallia's unconscious body. It seemed to vary how long the bodies took to explode and they weren't taking any chances of being close when it happened.

They got away just in time, it exploded once they were out of range. Now all they had to do was wait for Kallia to wake up. Alistair was reminded too much of their time in Redcliffe after Jowan had performed the ritual that sent her to the Fade.

As he watched a scratch appear on her face, he wondered why the demon would bother. If it wanted her body, why was it damaging it? Wynne did not seem particularly concerned with the fact that it was happening however, she just busied herself with healing them as it appeared.

"I've never seen that happen to anyone else before," Alistair commented, hoping a Senior Enchanter would be able to explain better than a failed blood mage.

"It's not entirely uncommon. Kallia just has a particularly strong connection to the Fade. She wasn't randomly selected to be Irving's student after all, and I highly doubt she earned the title of 'star-pupil' on her looks, much as she resented it." Wynne explained.

"She resented being the star-pupil?"

Wynne laughed, "No, Alistair. She resented being called the star pupil. She reveled in actually _being_ it. Now keep an eye on the door, we don't know if more abominations will come," she scolded and shooed him off.

.oO***Oo.

Cullen heard footsteps and once again opened his eyes. An unknown man entered the room followed by _her_. Cullen nearly laughed; this was the worst attempt his captors had made yet! She was covered with burns, cuts, bruises and blood. Her eyes had circles under them so dark one would almost think she were sporting two black eyes. The carefully plaited buns were nowhere to be seen and her hair fell several inches below her hips in a loose pony tail.

Her robes were a disaster. They no longer shone golden but had faded to an ugly greenish-brown. The long underskirt was completely missing making her robes end at her knees, a long gash that ran from the right side of her neck down to the left side of her ribs had torn her robes open the front. A brownish cord that he recognized as her hair tie kept the robe closed but he could see the still healing wound. Her skin practically crackled with magic, her own and the healing magic of another as well as the boost of an excessive amount of Lyrium potions.

Kallia had always hated the potions, she would rather not cast magic then use one and this impostor had to have used at least ten lesser Lyrium potions (probably more by the way her skin practically glowed). That was not what convinced him she was an impostor, however. It was the robes that did it.

Kallia had spent her life aiming for those golden robes, she would never have defiled them so and allowed them to fall into such a state. Mages only get two sets of robes after all.

He began the chant, nearly yelling it now, and prayed to the Maker they would kill him soon.

.oO***Oo.

Alistair opened the door to the next room but hesitated to move forward. When he didn't draw his weapon or shield, Kallia became curious and stood on her toes to look over his shoulder. The sight before her made her gasp and rush past him.

"Cullen!" she knelt in front of the yelling man. He opened his eyes for a moment as though to check whether she was there, then closed them and yelled even louder. "Cullen, stop that blight blasted chant. I'm real! Don't you recognize me?"

He paused his chanting only long enough to reply, "Only too well. You've done this before and it hasn't worked any other time."

"The boy is exhausted and I've never seen anything like this cage before," Wynne commented. "I could try healing him but I don't think it would get through the barrier. Rest easy, help is here."

"Enough visions! If anything left in you is human kill me now… end this game," Cullen begged. She brought her hand up to the cage as though to rest it on his cheek, she stopped an inch away from the barrier however. It's never smart to touch unknown magic. "You broke the others but I will stay strong. For my sake… for theirs. Must you continue to take her form? Tempting me with the one thing I'll never have… using my shame against me. My infatuation with _her _a mage of all things…"

Zevran clicked his tongue. "Someone was quite the little heartbreaker when they were an apprentice. My, my."

"But she's dead now, _dead_. I heard about Ostagar and that's where that man took her. She became a Warden and all the Wardens died. I so tired of these cruel jokes… please… just…"

"Cullen, I didn't die at Ostagar. I survived with another Warden. This isn't a trick, we're here to help," Kallia tried to reassure him.

"Begone! You aren't real!" Cullen shouted again and closed his eyes. When he opened them, Kallia still stood before him. "You're still here? But that's always worked before…"

"Cullen… I'm so sorry…" Kallia whispered. Alistair saw Wynne cock an eyebrow at the apology and decided to ask about it later.

"I do not need your pity, I am beyond caring what you think! The Maker knows my sin and I pray he will forgive me," Cullen spat at her. Alistair was having a hard time putting this face to the Cullen he'd created in his mind from her stories. That Cullen was a nervous, gentle man. This Cullen was full of hatred and anger.

"I didn't mean to lead you on, I never knew…"

"It was the foolish fancy of a naïve boy. I know better now," Cullen informed her as he stood roughly. She looked over him as closely as the tears gathering in her eyes would allow her to. The gentleness she had always admired was gone, his face seemed harder somehow. He frowned as a thought occurred to him. "Why have you returned to the Tower? How did you survive?"

"I heard rumors and we had to come here anyway. And then when we got here… I couldn't leave it like this. It was my home," she stood as well but he still towered over her small stature.

"As it was mine, and look what they've done to it. They deserve to die! All of them! Uldred especially! They caged us like animals, looked for ways to break us. I'm the only one left. They turned some into monsters and there was nothing I could do…" his voice broke as the image of Kallia torturing Kalus with her own blood. With blood magic.

"Uldred _will_ pay for what he's done," she reassured him.

"And to think I once thought we were too hard on you," Cullen glared at her.

"We're not all evil, Cullen. What of me? Surely you don't think I'm evil?"

"Only mages have that much power at their fingertips," He pointed at her accusingly. "Only mages are so susceptible to the infernal whisperings of demons."

"This is a discussion for another time!" Wynne broke in. "Irving and the other mages who fought Uldred, where are they?" She demanded in her best angry-grandmother voice.

"In the Harrowing Chamber…. The sounds coming from there… oh Maker…" Cullen's anger began to fade and he crumpled within himself, his anger being all that had been keeping him going.

"We must hurry, no doubt they are in grave danger," Wynne verbally shoved Kallia. "Duty first, child. Surely in your time away from the Tower has not made you forget that."

That was exactly what Kallia needed to hear. With those words all sadness fell from her face. She nodded once resolutely. "Duty first. Emotions got us into this mess, they will do nothing to get us out. Alistair, take point. We'll save everyone who can be saved." She fell in step behind him as he made his way toward the stairs.

"Are you saving anyone by taking this risk?" Cullen sneered at her. "To ensure this horror is ended, that no abominations or blood mages live, you must kill everyone up there!"

"I'd rather spare a maleficarum than risk harming an innocent," she answered quietly without turning to face him. "We'll free you when we get back."

"My cage is Uldred's doing… or one of his mage's. Once their dead, I'll be free."

"Stay safe until then, Cullen," she told him and turned towards the stairs.

.oO**Oo.

_I can't help but ask the question. Who noticed Kallia's deviation from her usual personality? What is it? ;)_


	22. The Broken Circle: Fixed

_*Sigh* So your favoritest author is officially jobless, but the good news is I seem to have some good prospects. A friend of mine got an interview at the place he works, so keep your fingers crossed for me :)_

_Anyway, so this week we've added a second beta to the story. Introducing asteracaea! (For those of you wondering, it's the Latin word for daisy. I had to ask her what it meant too ;] ) _

_And of course, thank you to beta fishy Evalyne ^-^ I hope you guys are keeping up with her story as well, _

_I'm not sure who to thank for the review I got this week… There wasn't a name on the review. But thank you to [blank] and Evalyne for reviewing._

_Not alot to say this week, sorry :P_

_Anyway, on with the chapter. Enjoy. _

.oO***Oo.

Greagoir watched as Kallia went straight to an unoccupied corner and set up a bedroll after she walked through the doors with her companions and all those she had managed to save. He had not expected there to be survivors, but he was grateful she had saved all she could. She scratched her dogs ears and curled up to sleep. The dog curled up at her side, but faced the rest of the room. Greagoir got the very distinct feeling the dog was standing guard over her. Her companions set their bedrolls up as well, though all a ways from hers.

All except the young man, his bedroll was still a distance away, but was much closer than the others. The Knight Commander could recognize a Templar anywhere, but it was not with the watchful eyes of a Templar that the young man watched Kallia sleep.

Greagoir approached the young man, he saw him tense. Alistair's eyes flicked to Kallia momentarily, obviously trying to decide if he was going to have to defend her while she slept. Mangy sensed his tension and lifted his head, though he did not stand for fear of waking the sleeping mage whose arm had itself draped over him. Leliana ever-so subtly shifted the lute she was playing so it could be dropped at a moment's notice in favor of daggers or a bow without damaging it. Greagoir noticed the change in all of them and was slightly unnerved that the male elf seemed to have disappeared completely.

"You should all get some sleep, she'll come to no harm here. At least not from us," he informed them, they seemed to relax and he approached Alistair. "The love of a mage is a fickle thing," he warned. Alistair gave him a wary look, clearly not understanding. Greagoir held back a knowing sigh, the poor boy hadn't realized his feelings yet then. Best to nip this in the bud, it would only end in misery. "Mages do not seek lifelong companions. Kallia was not raised to believe she could ever marry so you will never be more than a close friend to her," Greagoir told the young ex-Templar then stood and went back to organizing what was left his Circle leaving behind a very confused Alistair.

Several hours later the Knight Commander heard heavy breathing from the corner where Kallia's group slept, he looked over to see the mage twitching in her sleep obviously caught in a nightmare. Irving made his way over to his old student, intending to wake her up, but Alistair's voice stopped him.

"I wouldn't go near her if I were you," he warned.

The old man laughed, "I only want to wake her. I mean her no harm, young man."

Alistair shook his head. "She's about to wake up on her own, I'd get away from her unless you want a splitting headache."

"And why would he get a splitting headache from waking her up?" Greagoir asked suspiciously. Every Templar in the room tensed when Kallia Mind Blasted as she shot up in her bed roll.

"That's why," Alistair answered before going to her side. Kallia was already digging around her pack looking for her waterskin.

"You know, it's not fair," she muttered. "Why do the nightmares always happen when _you're_ on watch?"

Alistair laughed, "Maybe you're a better conversationalist."

"Oh yeah, we're best friends," she rolled her eyes. Both Wardens had become accustomed to simply talking vaguely about the nightmares.

"She's out of control!" Cullen suddenly yelled. "She needs to be put down before she kills us all!"

Alistair saw her carefully concealed wince and the air suddenly became more humid. "Alistair," Kallia said quietly. "I believe we've outstayed our welcome. Will you wake everyone while I talk to Irving about the treaties?" He nodded and (once she turned her back) sent a glare at the Templar then went about waking everyone up.

Irving smiled when he saw Kallia's approach and pulled her off to the side out of hearing range of her friends. "For you to have helped us, after the way you were forced to leave for simply following my instructions, it was... more than we could have expected."

Kallia gave him a sad smile. "I have learned many things since leaving the Tower. Some are simply insignificant details hardly worth mentioning but others... Others are far more important." She brought her hand up to rest it on the wall they stood beside, "I never thought I would miss this place as much as I do." Her gaze returned to him, he was smiling with a knowing look in his eyes. "Even the Templars," she said with a slight laugh.

Irving threw his head back with a laugh. "It seems you have matured much in your time away," he told her, still fighting a chuckle. "Most do not lose their resentment for the Templars until they are old and gray like me, if ever. You would have made a fine First Enchanter."

"But you never intended for me to become First Enchanter," Kallia told him. "My journal… It had all of those enchantments on it that would have been completely unnecessary if you'd intended for me to stay here at the Tower."

Irving sighed and shook his head. "I should have known better than to try to get something past you, child. I once intended for you to but as you grew older and Duncan began to show an interest in you, my intentions changed. Know that I wanted you to leave the Tower under much better terms than you did but I knew that you would never willingly go. Especially without Jowan. When the opportunity presented itself to force you into leaving, I could not pass it up for the chance that I _might_ be able to convince you to go later."

"You wanted me to leave?"

"Oh no, child, I very much wanted you to stay here but it would have been selfish of me to keep you here. I _knew _if I could get you out of the Tower… Away from the watchful Templars and the Chantry's rules that you would grow into your own person and become so much more powerful. You don't remember much about the world outside of the Tower but they have a saying about a mother bird pushing the baby from the nest to it can learn to fly. Kallia, I had to push you from your nest and now look at you… Only months out of your apprenticeship and you along with three companions have not only defeated the abomination of a senior enchanter but you've singlehandedly defeated every abomination, malificar, and demon within the Tower. Child, you're soaring."

"And if Duncan hadn't gotten me away from Greagoir?" she asked, hurt filling her voice.

"I knew that he would, Kallia. I would not have put you in danger from Tranquility without making sure you had an out," he told her, knowing that it wasn't death a mage feared but being made Tranquil. "I always knew you were destined for great things, but you can accomplish far greater things beyond these walls then you ever could within. This place will always be your home and those contained here-in your family," Irving placed his hands on her shoulders and gently turned so she faced her companions. He leaned forward to whisper in her ear, "But it would seem your family has expanded," Irving leaned back but did not remove his hands. "You and yours will always be welcome here but it is time for you to go make your own place in the world."

"Thank you, Irving," Kallia whispered.

Irving smiled at the warmth in her voice, a tone he had rarely heard her use in all her time in the Tower. "Now," he said in his most businesslike tone. "I couldn't help but notice the state of your robes," he eyed the robes disapprovingly. Kallia glanced down, for the first time in a long while was actually embarrassed by her state of dress. Irving had taught her the practicality of being neat and tidy after all.

"I… One of my robes was destroyed at Ostagar with my herb pouch and I…" she hesitantly explained, feeling like a magling of 14 explaining why her robe had a food stain on it. (It had been Jowan's fault, he's spilled his cleaning potion on her, but it had the opposite of the intended effect and had instead made it so her robes were clean resistant.)

Irving chuckled. "I did not intend to scold you, child. I merely thought you might like fresh set."

Kallia's eyes shot open in surprise. "Do you have a set that I could have? It's not Andraste's birthday…"

"We always keep a few on hand for emergencies," he told her as he handed her two sets of red robes. Kallia frowned.

"Senior Enchanter's robes…?" she said as she looked the robes over.

"I don't think anyone will complain. You're one of the most experienced mages I have left, child," he told her. Kallia's eyes filled with delight and pride at the praise, though she kept her face as blank as she could, mindful of the Templars. "You said your herbal pouch was destroyed as well?" he asked. Kallia nodded and he began unbuckling the belt at his waist.

"You've had this as long as I can remember, Irving. I can't take it…" Kallia protested.

"You have far greater need of it than I do, child. I have a whole store room at my disposal," He put the belt in her hand and she slowly closed her fingers around it.

"I… Thank you, Irving… For everything…"

"Of course, child," Irving chuckled. "When the time comes, we will stand by you. Make us proud, dear girl."

Kallia began to walk back to her friend's but Irving's voice stopped her. "By the way, do you recall how I told you the phylactery Jowan destroyed before he escaped was a fake and his real one was in my office?"

Kallia froze and looked over her shoulder at him. "Yes," she answered stiffly.

"It was the strangest thing. Even though Greagoir, Duncan, you and I were the only ones who knew, his phylactery had been destroyed when I went to my office the morning after you left," he commented with a false nonchalance and a knowing look in his eye.

"He must have found out somehow and snuck back into the Tower," Kallia told him stiffly.

"Yes, yes. Of course," Irving nodded and as Kallia turned and walked back to her friends he smiled. Kallia was a good liar, but she never had been able to lie to him. He had already known she had been the one to destroy the phylactery. Angry as she was with Jowan, her instinct to protect him was too great.

He watched as his once-star-pupil made her way back to her companions. The young Templar made some joke that made her laugh. The redhead and other elf joined in the teasing, making the man flush. The stony faced giant watched the group with confusion but if one looked close enough, there was the tiniest hint of amusement turning up the corners of his mouth. The ever-loyal hound stood at Kallia's side jumping and barking excitedly.

Wynne caught his eye and wordlessly asked permissions to join Kallia. He nodded his head once, granting the permission she was silently asking for. The old woman approached the group as they made to leave and was easily welcomed into the group.

"Embri's Many Pockets has been passed from First Enchanter to First Enchanter for generations, Irving," Greagoir moved to stand next to him in the shadows of the doorway.

Irving silently watched the group making their way towards the ferry back to the mainland for several moments before responding. "There won't be another First Enchanter if she does not succeed," he told his old friend seriously.


	23. Harsh Words

_I got a job! I promised you an extra chapter if I made 30k or more a year and I am a woman of my word. 30k a year with paid vacation days. I am so excited! Anyway, I start next week on Wednesday._

_I hope everyone's long weekends went well last week. I'll forgive the lack of reviews on account of it being a holiday (hint hint)._

_Anyway, enjoy the chapter! I hope you're all keeping up with Eva's __**Abandoned Sanctuary**__._

.oO***Oo.

That night as the group made camp, they realized they had no where for Wynne to sleep. Kallia was quick to volunteer her own tent for the elder mage saying she'd just share when it rained. The rest of the group fell into their routine, simply allowing Wynne to help where she could and knowing it would take a few days to adapt the routine to include her.

Zevran and Leliana left to hunt for dinner. Alistair set up Kallia's (now Wynne's) tent, mostly out of habit, then began gather tinder and firewood for Kallia to start a fire with. Sten gathered rocks to turn into arrow heads for Leliana and Morrigan disappeared to her own fire.

Wynne watched with interest as Kallia walked around camp casting spells at regular intervals, all while watching for sticks that would serve as good arrows.

"What are you doing?" Wynne finally asked as Kallia began her second trip around the camp. Kallia finished the spell she was casting and faced the elder mage.

"Casting a threshold spell," she explained. "If anything crosses the threshold we'll be alerted instantly. I put them at two interwoven distances just to be safe."

"I'll help if you'll show me how," Wynne offered but Kallia shook her head.

"They have to be done in order by the same person. Each one is connected to the last one, it works kind of like knitting," she explained knowing Wynne would understand the analogy. "But I can show you when I'm done, if you want," Kallia added, glad to have someone to discuss magical theories with. Morrigan, while also magical, was not one for sharing. At least not beyond what she deemed necessary and there was very little that she deemed necessary.

"I've never seen a spell like that," the elder mage commented after Kallia had finished the last spell.

"Well, it would have been unwise to use something like this at the Tower, wouldn't it?" she replied.

Wynne nodded in understanding, her sharp eyes noticing that those listening in to the conversation did not. The Templars would have found it suspicious that you didn't want anyone going into a certain area. Their first reaction would have been to investigate and trip whatever alarms you had set. Rather than protecting whatever it was, you would simply draw attention to it and yourself.

Without having grown up in the Tower there was no way they could understand that.

Wynne was about to continue the conversation when she noticed the raven haired witch making her way over towards them, Mangy in tow looking quite pleased with himself.

The witch caught Kallia's attention with a sharp, "Warden!"

The younger mage sighed and turned to face the other woman. "Yes?" she asked, only Wynne picked up the hidden exasperation in her voice. Growing up in the Tower taught you to listen carefully for hidden emotions.

"Look at what your worthless mongrel has left in my pack!" Morrigan shrieked. Kallia paled at the half-chewed up object Morrigan was waving around that had not-so-obviously once been a hare. She looked to Mangy for an explanation which he gave willingly, not quite understanding why the witch was so upset.

It was a present, he barked to Kallia, to let the witch know that she was still welcome in the pack even though she hadn't come with them to the Tower. That he understood her reasons for not going thus he didn't see it as an abandonment.

Kallia relayed his message, simplifying it to simply, "It's a gift."

Morrigan huffed in disgust and laid the animal at the dog's feet, "A putrid, half-eaten hare is not something a woman wants to find in her unmentionables." Mangy let off a whine, looking thoroughly contrite. He had thought she would like the extra food. "I don't want it, you worthless fleabag!" The witch yelled and stormed off without another word to either mage.

Kallia sighed, Morrigan had been in a foul mood since they'd picked her up at the docks and she'd found out Wynne had joined the party. She was making sure that everyone knew exactly how displeased she was.

"Kallia," Wynne started, hoping to continue their previous conversation, but when Kallia turned to look at her, the barely concealed tiredness in her eyes made her think otherwise. Wynne recognized that look. It was the look of someone who had stretched themselves too thin for too long. The look of someone holding herself together for those around her, but only just barely succeeding. So instead of giving her a lecture about duty and the Grey Wardens, she instead said, "Perhaps it is a bit presumptuous of me to say this, but the Circle is proud of you."

Kallia gave her a tired smile and nodded her head wordlessly. The younger mage dropped the pile of sticks she had gathered by Leliana's tent then wandered off, dog in tow, to find somewhere to practice her magic for the evening. Wynne happened to glance over to Alistair. He was fingering a slightly crumpled rose while watching Kallia disappear into the tree line. She sighed, the poor boy had it bad and probably had no idea what he was getting into. Wynne decided she'd best have a conversation with both him and Kallia about duty and love.

Perhaps Kallia needed reminding of the old mageling rhymes...

.oO***Oo.

Kallia made her way away from the camp. Away from her companions. Away from everyone she had to hold herself together in front of. Facing Cullen had been too much. Not because he was wrong, but because he was _right_. Mangy whimpered quietly at her side, warning her of the gathering clouds overhead and the impending rain, but she just scratched his ears and sat down on the ground.

Without a word she put up an arcane shield and expended it around her several yards. It wouldn't stop anyone who actually tried to get through but it would let them know she wanted to be alone and alert her if someone decided to bother her anyway. At the very least it would help keep the rain off her.

Mangy laid down at her back, curling himself around her to provide her with warmth. The shield might keep the rain off but it wouldn't do anything to prevent the air from chilling the way rain always does. Kallia's magic would keep her warm but the dog didn't know that.

The dog whimpered again, this time wanting to know if he went back across the water and bit the angry human that smelled like Magic Knight if it would make her feel better. Then he let off a quiet, happy bark wanting to know if he could bite Magic Knight because it would make _him_ feel better.

Despite herself, Kallia let off a chuckle at the dog's nickname. "No, you can't bite Cullen or Alistair," she murmured quietly. Mangy huffed and laid his head down in her lap. The young mage scratched his ears absently, lost in thought.

She sat there, Cullen's words echoing in her mind.

_She's out of control!_

Well she was, wasn't she? She knew she'd been toeing the line for a while now, instinctively relying on the reaction of the only Templar around to let her know when she went too far, got too close. And when she got no reaction from him, she pressed on, went a little further. And when he finally gave the reaction she needed to tell her she went too far, she had ignored it and convinced her Templar it was the right course of action…

But Alistair wasn't a Templar, he'd been very clear on that point. He wasn't a Templar and she wasn't Circle Mage. There _was_ no line for her to cross.

But, Kallia realized, she needed that line. That line told her what she could and could not do. It differentiated between right and wrong for her. There must be a line, she decided, otherwise what made her any different from a maleficar?

Maleficar killed or hurt people when it served their purpose, but so had she. She had killed people on an almost daily basis since Ostagar. Maleficar killed innocents, but so had she. Isolde's greatest sin had been wanting to protect her son, that's hardly deserving of death. And the group of villagers in Lothering had only wanted to collect the bounty on her head so they could feed their families. Kallia herself had never gone hungry (food was never short at the Tower) but she had seen children who came to the Tower starved. She couldn't blame the villagers for wanting to avoid that fate.

_She needs to be put down!_

Kallia closed her eyes and two tears fell from her eyes.

There had to be a line. There absolutely _had_ to be. It was just... in a different place... shifted from where it had been. Her boundaries extended so she could do whatever it took to end the Blight. But whatever it takes is not much of a boundary. In fact, Kallia was convinced it was the exact opposite of a boundary. The young mage sighed.

Life outside the Tower was exceedingly complicated.

.oO***Oo.

Alistair had followed Kallia after she wandered from the camp but when he encountered her shield he wasn't sure what to do. On one hand, he knew she only put the shield up when she wanted to be alone. On the other hand, he'd come to realize humid air meant she was sad and the air had been quite humid when she'd left so he didn't really _want_ to leave her alone.

He was still debating when it started raining. He pulled a rose out from under the most protected part of his breastplate and ran his fingers over the soft petals.

It had just barely begun to open.

Part of him wondered how the rose wasn't dead yet, nature dictated that it should have begun dying the moment he picked it and been dead within a week but here it was just over two months later and still living. Still growing. It reminded him so much of Kallia…

The same Kallia who probably wasn't even allowing herself to cry over the loss of one of the few friends she'd had before leaving the Tower. Cullen may not be physically dead, but beyond a doubt the Cullen she had known before was.

Killed by an angry, bitter man that had taken his place.

That thought bolstered Alistair's courage and he pushed through the shield. He found her hastily scrubbing her eyes, trying to clear them of all signs of unshed tears. Without asking permission, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him. She buried her head in the crook of his neck and for the first time being this close to her brought Alistair absolutely no joy. He brought his hand up and began stroking her hair soothingly as Eamon had occasionally done for him when he was a very young child.

He felt two warm drops hit his neck and trickle down to soak into the tunic he wore under his armor. She remained completely still in his arms, her breath staying pointedly even.

"It's ok, you know," he told her. "To cry, I mean. It's ok."

Kallia shook her head but he felt two more drops hit his neck.

"It is," he insisted. "He was a friend and he said all those mean things, it's ok to be hurt by that. I'd be surprised if you weren't."

A sob escaped her throat and two more drops hit his neck, but she shook her head again and remained perfectly still in his arms.

"You'll feel better if you just let it out," he offered. The offer of feeling better was too much and her hands came up to grip the edges of his armor where she could as another sob escaped her throat and tears fell without restriction from her eyes.

Alistair just held her as she remained silent and cried. Finally after several minutes her tears began to slow as did her breathing but neither made a move to disentangle themselves from the other.

"What Cullen said..." she started, her voice somewhat muffled by his neck.

"Was wrong," he finished for her.

"Was _right_," she whispered, turning her blue-green eyes to look at him. To judge his reaction to her statement. "At least by the Chantry's standards, it is," she amended.

He smiled at her, "Well, it's a good thing you're a Grey Warden now, then. You don't exactly fall under the Chantry's jurisdiction."

"Do you really think that matters to them, Alistair?" she wondered. He hesitated so she continued, "Do you want to know what got me kicked out of the Tower?"

Alistair got the feeling he didn't want to know but he nodded anyway, sensing her need to tell him. "Jowan was to be made Tranquil against his will. I told Irving about his plan to escape with the woman he loved, an initiate. Jowan told me he wasn't a blood mage, insisted on it. I thought if I explained everything to Irving he could explain it to Greagoir and get the whole thing worked out. He told me to go along with their plan, help them. So I did," Kallia spoke quickly, though it had been months since it happened the pain was still fresh and she felt like she was rubbing salt into old wounds.

"The Templars were waiting for us when we came out of the repository. Neither Lily nor I knew Jowan really was a blood mage... He attacked the Templars, Greagoir, and Irving then escaped when Lily refused to go with him. Lily was sent to Aeonar and Irving tried to explain that I was just following his orders..."

She paused and looked directly into Alistair's eyes. He couldn't help but shiver at the hard, angry glare in her eyes despite the fact that the air around them seemed to have become uncomfortably warm. "Greagoir _didn't care_, Alistair. He needed someone to punish, someone to make an example of and I was involved enough that the blame could be put on me. If Duncan hadn't been there, Greagoir would have had me put down. Tell me, Alistair, what is wrong with that sentence?" she pleaded him to give the right answer, to prove to her that he really wasn't a Templar.

He knew she was looking for something specific from him, but he didn't know what it was so he answered, "Besides the fact that he wanted to kill you...?"

Kallia shook her head tiredly and sighed. "He didn't want to kill me, Alistair. People are killed. Elves, humans, dwarves... Blight blast it, even the darkspawn are killed! Animals are put down and that is all the Chantry sees us as and if we so much as bear our teeth at someone then they put us down like the rabid animals they teach the Templars we are," Kallia said sadly then stood and left without even looking at him.

Alistair was left wondering if he had given her the right answer or the wrong one.


	24. Leave Well Enough Alone

_Has anyone noticed Kallia's frustrating tendency to run away from emotional situations? What will happen when she's not allowed to flee, I wonder?_

_Oh man, I start my new job on Wednesday and I am both nervous and excited. _

_You get a bit of a short chapter this week, but you got two last week so I'm sure you'll forgive me ;)_

_Anyway, thanks to Eva for betaing and thanks to Eva, Kakimashou, and you can't see me for reviewing :) I'm glad the reviews are starting to pick up again. Its very discouraging when you get no reviews on a chapter, I have to tell you. _

_Anyway, enjoy 24 and I'll see you next week with 25._

.oO***Oo.

Kallia wasn't in camp when Alistair returned. He glanced at the fire but realized instantly that it was a natural fire, no magic involved in its making. Kallia was usually the one to light it. A magically created fire meant that the fire wouldn't go out, even if it ran out of firewood (though using the wood put less of a mana strain on Kallia). It also ensured they could put the fire out in an instant if needed.

"We weren't sure how long Kali would be gone so we started a fire the old fashioned way," Leliana explained when she saw him studying it.

"Is she back yet?"

Leliana shook her head. "We thought she was with you."

"She was."

Alistair sighed and noticed Kallia's washing bucket was gone. He figured she went off to wash her robes, so he followed after her. Their last conversation had left a bad taste in his mouth and he was determined to set the record straight. He was surprised that Mangy had done nothing to stop him, if anything he could have sworn the look the dog gave him said _It's about damn time_ as the dog trotted after him.

But that was silly, dogs are not _that_ intelligent.

Just as he was about to clear the tree line, he remembered the last time he followed her when she went to wash her robes and froze mid-step. Images flashed through his mind and he was suddenly very glad he'd kept his armor on this time.

"If you're going to spy, Alistair, I don't recommend doing it with your armor on," Kallia's voice called out interrupting his thoughts. He would have thought it was a joke if she's put some emotion into her voice, _any_ emotion... as it was he had no idea what to make of it.

He hurried through the tree line to explain himself and was surprised to find her completely dressed and sitting by the water with her back to him. "I wasn't... I mean I just came to... I..." he realized he had no idea what exactly he'd intended to say when he got there. "How did you know I was there?" he finally asked hanging his head.

"You're like a Templar in a library with your armor on, Alistair. Everyone on the entire floor knows exactly where you are," she answered, again it was in a monotone voice that creeped him out. It reminded him of a Tranquil, he realized. And the thought of Kallia as a Tranquil was just...

_Wrong._

"Oh," was all he could come up with. They stayed that way for several minutes, neither saying anything or even moving. Finally, Mangy nudged Alistair's leg with his nose. The ex-Templar glanced down and caught sight of the Harrowing Dagger still tucked into his boot. "I forgot to give this back to you..." he said, pulling it out sheath and all.

Mangy moved to nudge Kallia in the shoulder and whimpered.

"Keep it," the mage answered emotionlessly.

"I don't-"

"It'll make your job easier," she interrupted.

"What j-"

"That's what Templar's _do,_ isn't it?" she sneered. "_Put down_ mages?"

On the one hand, Alistair was glad her voice was losing its monotone quality. On the other, her anger was causing the water in front of her to _boil_.

"Is that what this is about?" he asked and dared to take a step forward. When she made no move against him, he took another… And another... And another until he was kneeling in front of her. There were wet tear tracks running down her face, her voice had been so steady he hadn't even known she'd been crying. He brought his hands up and used his thumbs to wipe the trails away. "Nothing about that would be easy, nothing could make it any easier."

Kallia jerked her head away from him and he grimaced, realizing he had implied he still thought of her as a mage to be put down, not a person to be killed "No! I didn't mean it like that!" He hurried to explain but she was already on her feet.

"I thought you were different. I thought you were like Cullen. But you're both just like the rest of them, aren't you? When you look at me all you see is a mage, an abomination waiting to happen." She took a step back and Alistair lunged forward to grab her wrist. She tried to rip her hand from his grasp but his grip, though not tight enough to hurt her, was too strong. "Let me go," she ordered.

"No," he told her, using his other hand to push himself to his feet.

"Let. Go," she repeated angrily.

"Or what?"

Kallia seemed to hesitate but then anger outweighed reason and a wave of pressure erupted from her head. Alistair's free hand came up to his own as he got a splitting headache, but the hand around her wrist didn't falter.

"So help me, Alistair, I'll do it again."

"Go on, then," he told her. She hesitated, lightning sparking at her fingertips. After a moment she launched the bolt at the water behind him. It missed his arm by less than an inch but Alistair didn't even flinch.

"I won't miss next time," she warned.

He dropped his hand from his head and stood straight, making him an even bigger target. "I'm sure you won't," he told her.

"Blight blast it, Alistair!" she yelled, stomping her foot. "Attack me back!" He took a step closer to her and looked directly into her eyes.

"No." Another lightning bolt flew past him, when he still made no move against her the anger seemed to drain out of her and she hung her head. "Are you done?" he asked. She nodded and he released her wrist. "Since you seem so bound and determined to misinterpret what I say, I'll make this as simple as I can. When I look at you, I do not see a mage. I do not see an elf. I don't even see a Grey Warden. I just see Kallia. I just see _you_. Just like when I look at Leliana, I don't see a human, I just see Leliana."

"What about Morrigan?" she asked, raising her head.

"What about her?"

"When you look at Morrigan do you see an apostate?" she wondered.

"When I look at Morrigan, I see a complete and utter bitch," he told her with a smirk. Kallia chuckled and ignored the fact that he didn't say no. He had been right, after all... there was no reason to look for trouble in his words.

.oO***Oo.

Morrigan was digging through Kallia's pack for elfroot when she felt the tug on the Veil. She knew the old woman the Warden had picked up felt it as well because she suddenly stiffened and stared in the direction Kallia and the idiot had wondered off.

Leliana, who the elder mage had been talking to at the time, leaned forward concerned. "Is everything alright, Wynne?"

"I have a wonder," Morrigan commented to no one in particular. "What are we to do if the two Warden's kill each other before the Blight 'tis ended?"

"What do you mean?" Leliana asked with a worried tone.

"She means that Kallia is using magic," Wynne answered with pursed lips. "That Mind Blast spell if I'm not mistaken."

"They could be being attacked!" Leliana grabbed her bow and stood to help them. Mangy stopped her with a growl, though when he'd returned to camp none of the woman had noticed. He stood between Leliana and the direction of the mage and Templar were baring his teeth. The dog made no move to attack her, merely to let her know that she would not be allowed to interfere in whatever was going on.

"Not being attacked, then," Zevran commented, knowing if Kallia had been under attack, Mangy would have been the first to jump to her aide, not standing in the way of others attempting to do so.

"My question still stands," Morrigan commented. "What do we do if the two Wardens kill each other?"

"Are you worried, Morrigan?" Leliana asked.

"Of course not," the witch scoffed though the bard wondered whether that was because Morrigan didn't feel concern for anyone but herself or whether there was nothing to be concerned about.

She decided to go with the latter option.

"Maybe they're just sparring?" Leliana suggested hopefully.

Morrigan scoffed again, " 'Twould be unwise for a mage to spar a Templar, even a failed Templar like Alistair. "

"Maybe they're having sex," Zevran smirked. "I've heard that mages can use their magic to… _enhance…_ the experience." Wynne's lips pursed even tighter as Zevran eyed her. "Ah, my dear Wynne… I am so worried, I think I might faint. Might I rest my head on your bosom?"

"Perhaps you should be left at camp, if worrying causes you faint," Wynne answered.

" 'Tis amazing you have lived so long as a fighter if you become faint so easily," Morrigan added.

Zevran gasped dramatically looking back and forth between the two woman and held his hand over his heart. "You wound me so!"

Mangy started growling again and Leliana tried to use the distraction of Zevran's banter to sneak past him.

"Why won't you let me help her?" the bard demanded angrily.

"Actually, I haven't felt any magic in several minutes. Either one of them killed the other or they decided to kiss and makeup," Morrigan told her, the last part in an overly sweet voice.

"Do you really think so?" the redhead clapped joyfully at the thought of them kissing and making up, completely ignoring the first option Morrigan had offered. The witch just rolled her eyes and went back to her tent to make healing poultices.


	25. Inflammation

_Gah, sorry this one is so late! I been a busy bee between new job and my water heater exploding. _

_My living room is in a state of flux right now with half the carpet ripped up… right where my desktop is supposed to be hooked up. Seriously, I'm beginning to think the Fates just don't want me to use that computer. If it isn't one thing it's another. _

_But, no doubt many of you are wondering how my first week at work went (because I'm sure that I'm that important to all of you ;] )… Its going awesome ^-^ I've actually gotten my own project, it's a simple one so I can get used to their systems but a project is a project. I learn much better when I can dig my fingers into things anyway. _

_**Unfortunately**__, new job means a lot less time to work on Stars. I'm trying really hard to keep a decent buffer between the chapter you're at and the chapter I'm working on, I really am. But you just keep creeping closer and closer (not your fault, its just happening). I really don't want to but at this rate I might have to take it down from one a week to one every two weeks or even just posting a chapter when I finish a new one._

_I'm doing my best to avoid doing that because I know its frustrating when you don't necessarily know when you'll get an update… Particularly since I'm prone to writing cliff hangers. But I simply can't write one chapter a week, hell it usually takes a week for Eva and I just to get a chapter betaed. _

_I'm not saying I'm going to change it yet, but this is just a warning that its probably going to change._

_Anyway! So thank you to _

.oO***Oo.

Kallia and Alistair sat on the river bank watching the water. Kallia reached into one of the many pockets on her belt and pulled out a thumb sized leaf and offered it to him. "For the headache," she explained quietly.

He took it with a quiet, "Thanks."

"You should have attacked me," she told him, her eyes focusing on some point in front of her he couldn't see.

Alistair shrugged. "You weren't going to hurt me," he told her confidently.

"I _did_ hurt you," she corrected.

"You gave me a headache. If that's cause for killing someone, can I kill Morrigan? She gives me _loads _of headaches," he joked. Kallia's hand came up to her mouth and after a moment her shoulders began to shake as she curled up into herself. Alistair's eyes flew open, fearing he had caused her to start crying again he hurriedly said, "I was just joking. I won't actually kill her!" He paused for a moment before adding hopefully, "…Unless you want me to…"

He froze as Kallia's hand went to her stomach and laughing filled the air. While he was relieved she wasn't crying, he had no idea what could possibly be so funny.

"What is it with you people?" Kallia finally asked between gasps for air. "Why does everyone outside the Tower seem to think maiming each other will make me feel better?"

"It's in our nature to protect the people we care about… Even if it sometimes means hurting the people who hurt them." Alistair said quietly. He saw Kallia tense the moment the word _care_ was out of his mouth and for a split second he almost regretted saying it, but then he thought about it and decided he wasn't sorry.

He _did_ care about her, to say otherwise would be lying.

Hesitantly, he reached into his breastplate and pulled out the fragile rose. Alistair ran his fingers over the petals gently several times before glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. "Here," he said, holding it out to her. "Do you know what this is?"

He watched her closely from the corner of his eye as her laughing slowed and she began analyzing the flower. He could practically see the wheels turning in her head as she tried to identify it. Alistair smiled softly as her brow furrowed and her lips formed a small frown of concentration.

"It's… a flower of some kind," she started.

He suddenly remember her comment in Lothering that she'd only seen the fresh versions of plants once leaving the Tower, everything within the Tower was dried. "It's a rose," he told her, hoping the name would spark recognition.

It did, but she did not give him the reaction he expected.

Kallia leaned over to him, her hand going to his forehead and the rose in her lap forgotten as she began eying every inch of him critically. "Why didn't you tell me you were injured?" she demanded.

"I'm not-" he started slowly, confused at the sudden turn of events.

"If the area is inflamed there's a chance it's infected," the mage replied as if this explained everything.

"Why do you think I'm-"

"Take your amour off so I can see it," she ordered, standing with one hand on her hip and the other holding the rose.

Alistair flushed as other interpretations of her meaning ran through his mind. When he wasn't fast enough, Kallia reached forward and began attempting to undo the buckles of his armor herself. He leapt to his feet and began waving his hands in front of him. "I'm not injured! I'm not injured!" he squeaked backing away from her.

Kallia froze and looked at him in confusion as her arm dropped back to her side. "Then… Why did you give me the rose?" she asked.

"Why do you _think _I gave you the rose?"

"If you use rose petals in a bandage then it will help bring inflammation down," Kallia explained as though there were no other reason for a man to give a rose to a woman.

"Oh," he answered.

The mage arched an eyebrow, "You… didn't know that?" Alistair shook his head and she studied the rose again, this time running her fingers over the petals. She was amazed by the softness of them, she had only ever felt dried and re-hydrated roses and never realized how soft they could be. Not for the first time she wondered at all that she missed or been misinformed about having grown up in the Tower. "Then… Why did you give me the rose?" she repeated.

He seemed to hesitate before speaking with a small, distant smile gracing his lips. "I picked it in Lothering. I remember thinking, _How could something so beautiful exist in a place with so much despair and ugliness?_ I probably should have left it alone but I couldn't leave it there to be destroyed and tainted by the darkspawn, so I've had it ever since. I thought I might… give it to you," he finished as nonchalantly as he could but it was obvious he was doing everything he could to keep the nervousness out of his voice. "In a lot of ways it reminds me of you."

He was surprised when Kallia chuckled bitterly and muttered, "More than you know," under her breath as she couldn't help but compare herself to the rose, thought it was a habit more befitting of Jowan. To be trampled on the bush it had grown on or to be picked and slowly fade and die. A guaranteed death within the walls she had grown up in or the potential for death every day that passed. Yes, the rose was much more like her than Alistair realized.

She was fully aware that she was living on borrowed time.

As Kallia ran her fingers over the petals, still reveling in the soft feel, she wondered at the oddity of a gift given with no purpose. The only gift she had received at the Tower (other than the yearly replacement robes) had been her journal given to her after her Harrowing. She had never been given anything for the sake of being given it.

_What about the amulet you've been putting so much work into repairing for him?_ A voice in the back of her mind nagged. _Isn't that a present with no purpose?_

_That's different_, she argued with herself, though she could think of no reason why.

"Anyway, I just sort of realized… Here I am doing all this complaining and you haven't exactly been having a good time of it yourself. You haven't been able to experience any of the good parts of being a Grey Warden, I mean at least I had those six months with the others but for you it's been all death and fighting and tragedy… I thought maybe I could say something. Tell you what a rare and beautiful thing you are amidst all this darkness," he barreled on ahead. As the words spilled out he could feel his cheeks becoming flushed but despite his best efforts to keep his mouth shut, it seemed to have developed a mind of its own.

Or at least an attitude of its own.

An obnoxious attitude that caused it to stop listening to him.

Stupid mouth.

Alistair watched as she held the rose with the lightest of touches, as though she was afraid that if she so much as looked at it wrong it might crumble under her fingertips. When his (stupid, uncontrollable) mouth finally paused for him to take a breath, she spoke before it could start up again.

"Thank you. I've never… That is… It's a nice sentiment," she finished.

"I'm glad you like it," he told her quietly, finally having regained control of his (stupid) mouth. One of his gauntleted hands twitched at his side, eager to rise up and touch her face even if it was through layers of metal and leather. "Now if we could just move past the awkward, embarrassing stage and skip right to the steamy bit I'd appreciate it," he finished with a chuckle.

Kallia smiled at him, this was familiar territory and it had been several months… She was more than happy to oblige. "Off with it then," she ordered, setting the rose down and reaching up to untie her robes.

Alistair began to laugh nervously and backed away from her. "Bluff called," he told her and held his hands up in a surrendering motion. "Saw right through me!"

Kallia cocked her head to the side and frowned in confusion as he continued to back away from her. "I'll just… Leave you to your bath, shall I?" when he reached the tree line, he turned and Kallia took a step to follow after him.

A quiet _tink_ at her feet made her pause.

"Alistair," she said bending over to pick up the dagger. The serious tone of her voice made him pause, ignoring the nervous feeling in his gut that was screaming _Run! Run now! _He turned to her but his blood ran cold when he saw she was holding the dagger out to him. "It really is your job."

He had no doubt the disbelief and horror showed on his face.


	26. Chapter 26

_Well, it has been a busy week for your favoritest author. But I'm really enjoying my job, even though I've been putting in 10 hours a day instead of 8 like I used to. I barely notice until I look at the clock and go "Oh shit, it's three o'clock. I should probably eat lunch at some point."_

_Anyway, my water heater fun is completely over now. I've got the carpet fixed and the living room put back in order… Mostly. _

_Anyway.. Thanks to Evalyne, USAF713, you can't see me, and Sasuke's Kanojo for the reviews. _

_I'm going to put the rest of my comments on this chapter and the previous chapter at the bottom, I don't want to spoil it for you :) (Now if only there were a way to count how many of you just hit the End button :P )_

_Enjoy!_

.oO***Oo.

The tension was thick in the air of the camp. When Alistair had returned Leliana had beamed at him. Her face fell when she and the rest of the group realized Kallia wasn't with him. He could now feel all of their eyes on him as he sat staring into the fire— watching his every movement, every twitch of his face, as though hoping for answers to questions none of them dared to ask.

_What happened between you two? Where is she? What did you do to her? Did you kill her?_

He _should_ have belayed their fears without them having to ask. He _should _have simply told them Kallia was taking her bath and would be joining them shortly. Of course he also _should _have attacked her back when she'd attacked him, so maybe it was a good thing he didn't do everything he should have.

He was too caught up in his own thoughts to care about theirs at the moment. The dagger hidden in his boot felt like it weighed a ton but he daren't take it out. He didn't want to think of the implications of taking the dagger (with much protest, of course) when she offered it. He didn't want to think about what it meant that she had _asked_ him to keep it…

_It really is your job._

Why? Why was it his job? He _wasn't_ a Templar! Hadn't he made that clear? Hadn't he done everything he could to prove that to her? Why was it _his_ job? Why not Wynne? Or Morrigan? _She_ certainly would brook no protest to the duty.

Ok… Maybe not Morrigan, she'd probably be all too pleased to kill them all in their sleep if given half a chance.

"I…" Leliana made a hesitant movement, holding her bathing bucket to her chest. "I'm going to take my bath…" Alistair knew what she was really saying.

_I'm going to go check on our fearless leader. _

He didn't blame her for wanting to check. He had no doubt Morrigan or Wynne had informed the rest of the group of the magic that was being used. Leliana disappeared into the trees, oddly hesitating as she passed Mangy, as though half-expecting him to stop her.

.oO***Oo.

Leliana purposefully stepped on several twigs as she approached where the young elf was sitting. She sat next to the mage and waited for her to speak first, though she didn't have long to wait.

"I do not understand life outside the Tower," Kallia told her.

Leliana giggled, "Well, few of us are able to understand what life _inside _the Tower must have been like, so I suppose that's fair. What don't you understand in particular?"

"He _cares_ about me," the young elf answered as she stared at something in her hands.

"Is that unusual?"

"Yes."

"You care about Jowan," Leliana commented, recalling their conversation in Lothering.

"_Cared_," Kallia corrected. "And that's different."

"How?"

"I would kill Jowan in an instant if the situation called for it. And he would me." Kallia said resignedly, as though it were simply a fact of life. Leliana choose not to voice her doubts that either mage would kill the other. "Alistair..."

"You don't think he would?"

"He should have attacked back."

"_Should have_ and _needed to_ are often very different things, Kali. Answer me this, do you want him to be willing to?"

Kallia hung her head and was quiet for a moment before bringing her head up and watching the water ripple in front of her. "Part of being a mage is knowing that there's a chance your best friend could be the one to take your last breath from you. We know this. We accept it. Or we end up Tranquil or dead."

"That seems like a rather bleak outlook on life," Leliana huffed.

"Perhaps, but it's an accurate one."

"I don't think so," Leliana told her, her eyes lit in amusement as Kallia turned to look at her with confusion all over her face. "Kali, You have entered the Fade and defeated demons where they're at their most powerful.. You have fought your way through an entire Tower of abominations and blood mages and demons. You and Alistair survived Ostagar when every other Grey Warden in the country didn't-"

"That one was through no skill of our own." Kallia interrupted but Leliana ignored her.

"I'm sure whatever demon tries to take over your body will be in for a sorry surprise," Leliana smirked and Kallia couldn't fight the smile. "Now, I saw Mangy grab your bathing bucket for you. Why don't you heat the bathwater and then you can tell me why you're looking at that rose like it holds the answers to all of the world's mysteries."

.oO***Oo.

Magic Knight was sulking.

Mangy disliked the human but his elf did not enjoy it when he was upset. The bard had followed his elf to make sure she was alright and he could hear the splashing of water and the bard's giggling so he could tell his elf was emotionally fine.

She would not be if the human was still sulking when she got back.

He stood and walked right into Magic Knight's field of vision, sitting and staring him in the eye. The human continued to stare right though him so Mangy let off a short, commanding bark and the Templar's eyes immediately focused on the dog as surprise registered on his face.

"Mangy...?" The human asked. The dog informed the Templar (in the form of two barks and some huffying) that he had better cheer up before his elf comes back or he would be stealing the human's dinner.

Magic Knight sighed, "Even if I did believe Kallia that she could understand you, you do realize no one else can, right?" He suddenly chuckled, "Now I'm talking to you like you can actually understand me. What _is_ that woman doing to me?"

The human put his head in his hands but he was still chuckling. Mangy let off a huff and nodded his head once. Now the human was in a better mood.

.oO***Oo.

Morrigan studied the trees where the bard had disappeared considering following after her... to bathe of course. It had nothing to do with the odd knot in her stomach. That was just gas. She wouldn't be eating _those_ berries again.

And the fact that the knot had started when Alistair had returned without Kallia was pure coincidence.

Her eyes flickered to the Templar and watched his exchange with the dog. Unlike Alistair, Morrigan did not doubt the dog's intelligence. She might not like the creature but she had seen enough to accept that he was at least smarter than other dogs she had met.

Morrigan narrowed her eyes at the man now chuckling at his own stupidity. She had thought she understood him. She'd had him pegged a Templar despite all his claims otherwise but when Kallia had attacked him with her magic... He had not attacked back.

A Templar would have.

Morrigan pursed her lips and glared at him, though he wasn't facing her to see it. If he wasn't a Templar, what did that make him?

.oO***Oo.

Leliana giggled in joy. Alistair had given Kallia a rose! Granted, explaining romance to Kallia was like explaining... anything... to a brick wall.

Kallia frowned in confusion and asked, "So he wants to sleep with me?" She huffed and crossed her arms. "I offered and he said no, clearly you don't know what you're talking about." Leliana's smiled widened.

"So you want to sleep with him?" she probed, but Kallia's response was not what she expected.

The mage simply shrugged. "Who wouldn't? Have you seen him chop firewood?"

"I don't exactly watch him while he's doing it, no." A blind woman would want to watch that man chop firewood, she'd even caught Morrigan catching a glimpse from the corner of her eye a couple of times. But Leliana decided the Maker would forgive her for the small lie, it was for a good cause after all.

"He is quite... handsome," Kallia told her, her tone implying he was much more than handsome while chopping firewood.

"Have you told him that?" Leliana asked.

Kallia's face contorted in confusion again. "Why would I tell him? I'm sure he already knows."

"You forget he grew up in a Chantry, Kali. They aren't very big on compliments in general there, let alone compliments on looks. I doubt he's been told he's good at anything for a very long time," the bard commented nonchalantly, watching the elf closely as she pretended to be soaping her arms.

Kallia, on the other hand, paused in her cleaning. Leliana was probably right, she realized. After coming to the conclusion that she would point out how good looking she thought he was to him, she resumed her cleaning. Ignoring the giggle the redhead next to her let off as though she knew exactly what had happened.

.oO***Oo.

Kallia returned with Leliana a short time later. She had shortened the Senior Enchanter's robes Irving had given her as she had with her old robes. However, she had also cut a slit up the side of the over skirt of these robes, allowing for easy access to the dagger that was now sheathed in reddish-brown fabric tied to her thigh. The undamaged neckline hid the long scar the Templar had given her. Embri's Many Pouches was doubled loosely around her hips and her long hair had once again been done in tightly plaited buns at the nape of her neck.

She was the very image of a fearless leader and she radiated a confidence that had been lacking since the events of Redcliffe.

Kallia had pulled herself together and she now stepped seamlessly back into her role. As she did so, normal camp functions resumed. The somber atmosphere became more jovial as Leliana pulled out her lute and began tuning it. Alistair set about making dinner though Kallia stayed close to him sorting through the books she had taken from the Tower and subtlety adding herbs and spices when he wasn't looking. Leliana sent her a grateful look as she swiped the deathroot leaves Alistair had placed with his ingredients and replaced them with bay leaves. Wynne chuckled quietly when Kallia grabbed his wrist as he attempted to add cheese to the stew.

"Remind me again why we let you cook," Kallia commented as she took the cheese from him and added mushrooms instead.

"Because I make traditional Ferelden dishes," he answered happily.

"I may not have spent much time out of the Tower, but even I know cheese doesn't go in traditional Ferelden stew."

"But I like cheese!" he whined and Kallia placed the cheese back in his hand.

"Then eat it but don't spoil everyone's dinner because you think it goes good in everything," Kallia glanced around his ingredients and utensils. Not seeing what she was looking for she handed him the large wooden spoon. "Stir only. Don't add anything," she ordered then went to her own pack. After digging around it for several moments she turned to Leliana and asked, "Is there any more cabbage?"

The bard shook her head, "We used the last of it for dinner last night."

"I have some," Wynne offered and pulled a head from her own pack. "I took as much as I could when we passed through the Tower's kitchens." Kallia nodded her thanks and chopped the cabbage into half-inch strips then dumped it into the pot with the rest of the food.

Kallia was surprised when Morrigan drifted over from her own fire to join the rest of the group. The witch eyed the pile of books near the fire subtly, she thought she saw Morrigan's eyes light up at the sight of a strange black one. Kallia made sure to note which one. She'd take another look then give it to the witch.

"Morrigan? Will you be joining us for dinner tonight?" Kallia asked.

Morrigan's face distorted with disgust. "And attempt to eat that vile concoction the idiot calls stew? I think not," she scoffed as she turned on her heel and returned to her own fire. Kallia just sighed and shook her head. It was best to leave her alone and do as she pleased.

"Where's Zevran? The stew is almost done," Kallia asked as she poked a potato with a fork to check its doneness.

"It was his turn to do the washing," Leliana explained as she came over to the fire and got out the bowls.

"Mangy, would you let him know its dinner time?" Kallia asked as she started spooning out their dinners. He barked and ran off in the direction of the stream.

He found the elf bent over and barked excitedly to inform him of the availability of food. Zevran watched as Mangy began to dart back to camp.

"Why so eager, my furry friend? You are aware it is Alistair's turn to cook tonight, yes?" Mangy barked, explaining his elf had taken over the cooking and he liked it when his elf cooked, but Zevran couldn't understand him. "Surely you do not think so highly of Alistair's cooking, no?" Mangy gagged several times and Zevran laughed. "Yes, I do believe that is the general consensus," he told the dog as he hung up their wet clothes and headed back to camp to join the others.

Wynne was watching with distaste on her face as Kallia and Alistair shoveled food into their mouths.

"I don't remember you eating like this at the Tower, child. Surely Irving taught you better manners."

"I'm more interested in knowing where it all goes," Zevran chimed in as he approached the group, once more looking over Kallia's figure, his eyes lingering in certain areas a tad longer than necessary. "There simply doesn't seem to be enough room for it to all fit..."

Alistair glared at the elf for the comment. "It's a Grey Warden thing, we all went through it. I used to get up in the middle of the night and raid the castle larder. I thought I was starving. I'd slurp down every dinner as though it were my last. My face would be all cover in gravy and I'd look up from my plate and the other Grey Warden would stare for a moment then laugh themselves to tears…" He chuckled sadly at the memory of his now dead friends.

"Perhaps you are merely a pig," Morrigan told him with a pleased smile. Despite her earlier protests, she had wandered back over as the group began eating and had taken the bowl Kallia had silently offered her.

"Perhaps you're merely a bitch," he sneered back.

Leliana realized the need to change the tone of the conversation quickly so she laughed and clapped her hands, "Oh! Do me next! What am I, Alistair?"

"You're merely a lunatic, Leliana," Kallia offered and the bard burst into giggles.

The rest of the meal was spent with lighthearted joking and laughing.

.oO***Oo.

_Finally we get to some light heartedness! I had originally not intended for these depressing parts to go on for so long. But despite all of the depressiveness, I think it was very important that it did. Kallia is finally starting to deal with the emotional baggage resulting from leaving the Tower._

_Now I'm sure the nit-picky readers out there (don't get me wrong I love my nit-picky readers, they keep me honest) are going… "Wait a minute! She says she would kill Jowan but you implied she destroyed his phylactery even after he'd abandoned her!"_

_My response? Yeah, I implied that. Yeah, she does say that (and probably really believes it). And yeah, those two statements do conflict. I did it intentionally. I can't say much more or it could potentially ruin stuff in the future._

_Now, I would like to point out something. Kallia is not suicidal. That last chapter was not intended to sound like that, though I can certainly see where you're getting that from. It was intended to be angsty, but not suicidally and I hope this chapter allowed you to better understand that. _

_She doesn't __**want**__ to die but she has come to a grim acceptance that she __**will**__die sooner or later (any mage that doesn't accept this, either becomes an abomination or becomes Tranquil because they can't accept it). And she realizes that, as one of two Grey Wardens left to fight the Blight, her death will probably be sooner than later. You don't spend every day fighting for your life without running that risk. Kallia's got enough common sense to know the risks she's taking. _

_Aren't mages such cheery people? XD_


	27. Rubbing Salt in Fresh Wounds

_Well, its been a week of firsts for me. I worked until 10 on Friday (never worked __**that**__ late before). I made my first chicken pot pie on Sunday and I finished three chapters over the weekend ^-^ _

_It is so nice to finally be making progress on this again. I've been stuck on one scene for too long it feels like because I didn't have long enough to sit down and work on it. I'm almost giddy for you to get to those chapters, but trying to make time to finish so you can still get them every week. _

_Anyway, thank you to Evalyne and you can't see me for reviewing and of course to Eva again for betaing. _

_Keeping this note short because I'm tired and want to get this published :)_

_Enjoy!_

Morrigan followed Zevran the next morning as he went to collect their now-dry laundry. She stood on the path in plain sight, studying him through narrowed eyes. Zevran made no move to acknowledge the company and simply continued to pull down the clothes and fold them.

After several minutes of silent observation, she finally spoke. "I heard what you did at the Tower."

"Oh? And what did I do?" he wondered. "You make it sound so menacing."

"From Alistair's complaining it sounds like you were the first to offer to help," Morrigan told him through narrowed eyes.

"Ah, yes. How very devious of me," he replied with mock seriousness.

" 'Tis if you only do so to sneak into our good graces," she informed him. "What is to keep you from poisoning your target now that you have been allowed to join us, I wonder?"

"Why, you are! You shall be watching me closely to be sure that I attempt no such thing," he chuckled.

"And why would I do that?" the witch scoffed.

Zevran became serious, "You think I cannot tell the only reason you care about their lives is because it suits your own ends, my dear Morrigan?"

Morrigan kept her face resolutely stoic. The words had stung, though she had no idea why they would as they were completely true. They most certainly shouldn't have, but they did... and she'd be damned if let this traitorous elf know any weakness of hers. " 'Twould be a simple enough matter for you to poison the food at camp. Or perhaps you'd prefer to slit our throats in our sleep?"

"You seem rather charmed by the idea."

" 'Twould seem an appropriate consequence of allowing you to join us."

"Then I am sorry to disappoint. The next time I am spared I shall immediately turn upon my benefactors, will that do?" he asked. Morrigan threw up her hands and turned to walk away, pausing to glance back at him when he called her name. "You know there's even a type of poison you mix in laundry soap!" He informed her with a smirk. He was baiting her, they both knew it. And when she didn't take the bait and simply began to walk away he called after her once more, "And here I was becoming used to the idea of you watching me so closely!" But she had already disappeared through the trees.

Zevran simply shook his head at her suspicion.

She had every right to be suspicious and he was used to the suspicion that she and the rest of the Warden's companions watch him with.

The bard followed him with calculating eyes, watching him for any sign that he was about to destroy the life she had formed for herself. She had a haunted look in her eyes that she never quite managed to hide behind her bubbly front. There was a sadness in her past, he knew. He knew this just as surely as he knew that she had lied when she told the Warden that she had joined the Chantry because she needed peace and quite. That she had tired of her life back in Orlais and had come to Ferelden seeking a rest.

He knew this because he recognized that haunted look in her eyes. It was the look of someone who's life had been ripped from them by force, not given up willingly. Granted he usually saw it on the face of people who knew they were about to die, but the idea was the same.

He had to chuckle as he thought of the suspicious and angry looks the Templar sent him, knowing that _his_ suspicions were born from something more than concern for his own life. No, Zevran had no doubt that if that was all the Templar had been worried about he would have been... well, probably just as vocal but perhaps not as hateful.

No, the Templar was worried that Zevran was going to steal something far more important to him than his life. Or more accurately, some_one_.

It was rather sweet, Zevran decided, in an innocent sort of way that had been lacking from his own life for as long as he could remember.

The old woman's look was not as suspicious as the others (granted, he had never actually tried to kill her so perhaps her forgiveness for that _particular_ transgression was not so surprising...) but he recognized the look she gave him all the same. The Sisters back home had given him that look many times, though few dared voice their opinion on the matter, all of those who did had ended up dead or missing. Zevran snorted, he couldn't say he was sorry for it when he'd heard about it. Sisters like that usually voiced their opinions to the younger "recruits" who were still in training.

Planting the seed of doubt.

Breaking their resolve.

Effectively killing them.

No, Zevran was definitely used to their suspicions. It was the Warden's _lack_ of suspicion he was not used to. He was given such freedom... freedom he had not expected when asking to join her. She treated him with the same odd form of kindness that she did the others. Not only that but she had not disarmed him (whether because she realized attempting to remove all the daggers from his person would be futile or because she actually trusted him to have the daggers, he did not know) and she had made no attempt to take his poisons from him.

With the freedoms the Warden gave him, it really would be a simple task to finish the job.

And yet… he found himself dismissing the idea.

He had seen enough of her (and heard enough from the old woman) to know that the elf's trust was not easily given. He was baffled as to why she would grant him such a rare commodity, though he realized that at least part of her trust in him was actually trust in her other companions. Trust in their abilities, if he did turn on them. It didn't diminish the trust she put in him, _solely_ in him, though.

And he found himself wanting to _prove_ that her trust in him was not misplaced. To her and to her companions.

_For now, at least, _he reminded himself as he gathered up the now folded clothes. _For now._

.oO***Oo.

As Morrigan made her way back, she heard a rustling coming from the direction of her campsite. She could tell it was not an animal but a person that was invading her space. She scowled and kept to the shadows as well as she could as she approached her area.

When it was Kallia that pushed aside her tent flap and made her way back to the other's camp, Morrigan's temper flared. Did they do that every time she left? Did they trust her so little? So much less than even the _assassin_ who had tried to kill them?

She shouldn't have taught the Warden the threshold spell (or, more accurately, she shouldn't have allowed her to observe how to cast the spell), in doing so she had also taught her how to avoid it.

Their sudden lack of trust threw salt in the wound that Zevran had opened only moments before and it _hurt_. It _shouldn't_, but it _did_ which just left her feeling _confused_ and _hurt_ and _angry_.

And the confusion and the hurt only served to fuel her anger more so when she crossed the open area to her tent she ignored Kallia's call of, "Good morning!" and Alistair's, albeit sarcastic, call of, "Good morning, sneaky-witch-thief!"

How dare he call her a thief when she was not the one going through other people's things!

She saw Alistair and Kallia simply shrug off her lack of response, simply putting it down to her just being herself. Or perhaps they noticed her anger and put it down to her conversation with Zevran?

Either way, they made no further attempt to try to converse with her as they went about packing up their camp.

She stormed into her tent, expecting everything to be as she had left it in the hopes she would not know someone had been there. And for the most part it was, save for a black book placed in the center of her bedroll. She picked the book up gingerly, expecting it to be some sort of trick. Perhaps another book with the same cover?

But no, as she flipped through the pages she knew it could not be a fake.

She stepped out of her tent and watched the elf as she helped douse the fire then started unwinding the threshold spell. The witch saw the tiredness in Kallia's movement and knew she had not slept much. Just as Morrigan had been up most of the night considering ways to get the book from Kallia without letting on to how important it was to her, she knew the Warden had been up most of the night studying the book after nightmares had woken her.

Kallia felt eyes watching her and turned to look at Morrigan, the tiredness faded from her face and instead became an understanding smile. She nodded once and turned back to undoing the spell as Morrigan hugged the book to her chest.


	28. Denerim

_And we finally make it to Denerim! Who'da thunk it that originally this was Chapter 22 :P What'da think? Better with the additions? I definitely think it was, the extra chapters allowed for character development that was lacking originally. _

_Hopefully you still love the characters as much as you did before :) Though…. I seem to have lost most my original reviewers (hopefully just because they don't have time to review anymore and not because they decided the story wasn't worth reading :{ )_

_Anyway, thank you to you can't see me for reviewing and Eva for betaing (especially the last 6 chapters!)_

_Anyways, enjoy!_

.oO***Oo.

As the group walked through the gates, Kallia felt like holding her hands over her ears. She had never been anywhere so _noisy_ before. The Tower hadn't been silent by any means but it had never been this _loud_. Between the tightly packed people and the merchants yelling the sound was almost oppressive and it was giving her a headache.

"Ahh, Denerim," Alistair commented. "I've heard you can get anything here, I once got pick pocketed."

Kallia was glad for the distraction. "What's a pick pocketed?" she asked

Alistair looked at her in surprise for a moment before realization set in and he explained, "Its where someone steals your money right out of your pouch... Or just steals the entire pouch off your belt."

Kallia looked around the market square, not really sure what to do in such a large crowded area, almost unwilling to move deeper into the crowded streets. Alistair saw her hesitation and took over for her. "Well, it's getting late and I'm tired. We should find a place to sleep and make a plan for tomorrow," he said, hoping that once they got into a quiet room Kallia would be able to think straight again. He led the way to the only inn he knew of in Denerim that would have a quiet atmosphere, figuring the extra expense would be worth the cost if Kallia was able to actually think.

The young mage followed him closely, not realizing she was pressing herself to his side. Hesitantly, Alistair brought his arm up around her shoulders and began grinning happily when he felt her relax even the slightest amount more. The action earned him a glare from her war hound, but either the dog was beginning to like him (which Alistair greatly doubted) or he realized his elf needed the extra protection and allowed it only because it made her feel better. Alistair was sure it was the latter but that didn't lessen the grin covering his face any.

Fortunately, the hushed gossiping and quiet background music at the Gnawed Noble was a little more what Kallia was used to and she quickly fell into stride with the others, stepping away from Alistair.

She glanced over her companions, calling up conversations they'd had over the past two week's journey and mapping out their relationships in her mind. Morrigan and Wynne would simply be a bad combination, as would putting Wynne with Mangy. While Morrigan wouldn't be especially pleased with rooming with the dog she would at least tolerate it. So Wynne would room with Leliana and Morrigan with herself and Mangy. She gave the men of her group only a cursory glance, their arrangements would be the easiest. Either all three would share a room or Alistair and Zevran could work out on their own who shared with Sten and who got the single room.

Kallia approached the innkeeper and arranged the rooms while holding back a wince at the cost. She was grateful, however, that instead of charging extra for Mangy, the man actually offered a small discount if she and the dog spent some time at the bar. Apparently, in Denerim, having a mabari at your establishment was good for business. The innkeeper had also offered to bring up the special dog beds they had, free of charge, and though Mangy had barked happily and wagged his tail (realizing it would be unwise to insult the innkeeper) he had informed Kallia in no uncertain terms that he would be sharing her bed.

He couldn't protect her from across the room after all.

They made their way to the second level of the Gnawed Noble and dropped their packs off then made their way back to the men's room. There hadn't been a three-bed room available, so Kallia had opted to get a two-bed room with a sitting room. It would allow them a quiet place to plan and discuss and Sten had commented many times that he didn't need to sleep much anyway.

"The innkeeper let me barrow his map of Denerim," Alistair told the group, rolling out the map on the table in the men's sitting room. "It's got all of the important stalls marked as well as the main street names."

Kallia nodded and leaned over the map, studying it and trying to decipher the odd symbols by some of the marked stalls. "What does that mean?" she asked, pointing to a circle with a line through it.

"It's a blacksmith. See it has a little sword and shield," he chuckled in amusement.

"And that one?" she pointed to a line next to another line that forked into three sections at the top.

"A knife and fork, so it's a food supply stall," Wynne told her. "That's a spool of thread so it's a tailor shop. That's the Symbol for the Wonders of Thedas, we should stop in there to stock up on herbs. As Circle mages we likely won't have to pay for the basics."

"You can read the map, Wynne?" Kallia asked in surprise.

The older mage nodded. "I was nine when I was sent to the Tower and had already learned how to."

"Perhaps you should go with the group that sells our loot and buys supplies then," Kallia commented.

"But who will do the bartering?" Alistair asked, knowing he would get sent with the supplies group to carry things.

"Wynne has more experience than I do and you can barter the prices for armor and weapons. Neither Wynne or I have the experience to do that anyway," Kallia answered.

"Ohh, I'll go with the supply group!" Leliana told them.

"Sten, you go too."

"… Very well."

"Alright, so it's settled. Wynne, Leliana, Alistair, and Sten will shop for supplies while Zevran, Morrigan, Mangy and I turn in the work we did and look for more. Whichever group finishes first will look for Genetivi. Am I missing anything?"

Alistair reached into his pocket and fiddled with a crumpled piece of paper. He even got so far as to open his mouth to speak but then his mouth snapped shut, not wanting to ask in front of the entire group.

Kallia waited a moment longer then said, "Alright then. If that's it, I'm going to wash this grime off and go to sleep."

.oO***Oo.

Wynne closed her eyes as she laid on her bed, Leliana's voice floated from behind the screen in a soothing song that left her eyelids feeling heavy. She couldn't stop the quiet moan that escaped her throat at the feel of the feathered mattress.

"Ah, these old bones are grateful to be in a real bed," she commented. Leliana's singing stopped as soon as the mage began speaking, there was a pause before the bard replied.

"I'm sure Kali wouldn't mind if we spent some coin on a better bedroll for you. She seems to hold a lot of respect for you."

"It has little do to with me. Irving brought his apprentices up to be very respectful and polite," Wynne told her. She heard splashing as Leliana stood in the tub and began drying herself off.

"There's a difference between being respectful and holding respect for someone," the bard's voice came around the screen and Wynne heard the creak of wood as the other woman sat on her bed.

"Hmm?"

"I have seen her give orders and argue with people who most would consider above her station, but I don't think I have seen her question you once. She carefully considers any advice you give before making a decision, even if that decision is sometimes different from your advice," Leliana told her, though her voice was muffled.

Wynne cracked her eyes to see Leliana toweling her hair dry. "Again, that has nothing to do with me, child. I am a Senior Enchanter and up until several months ago she was merely an apprentice. Irving has given her the robes and title of Senior Enchanter but I doubt she considers herself as such," the mage explained.

"I don't understand," Leliana commented as she reached into her bag for her brush.

"She acknowledges my place 'above her' as you put it, because I have a position on a hierarchy that she understands. But no one has ever explained to her where an Arl, or a Bann, or an Orlesian Duke or even the King or Empress fit into her hierarchy. She doesn't know what level of respect to grant them so she treats them as an equal because that's the way it works in the Tower."

"Oh, I see," Leliana answer thoughtfully as she pulled back the blankets and climbed in. She leaned over and blew out the last lit candle in the room and fell asleep to the sound of the older woman's light snoring.

.oO***Oo.

Alistair stood, arms crossed and a glare on his face.

"Do you need something, my friend Alistair?" Zevran asked without looking up from where he sat sharpening his daggers.

The Templar's eyes narrowed, "Why did they send _you_?"

Zevran chuckled and set his daggers and whetstone on the table. "Is there a reason they should not have?" he asked with a smirk.

"Oh, plenty. For starters, you aren't exactly the best they had, were you?" Alistair's face took on a smug look but the assassin remained unphased.

"Slander and lies," Zevran clicked his tongue in mock disapproval. "For shame, Alistair."

"I'm not an idiot," Alistair started, when Zevran arched an eyebrow he amended with, "Well… Most of the time…But I've seen you fight. You may not be a new recruit but you aren't exactly a master of combat either."

"Assuming that I intended a fair fight, that would indeed be a problem," Zevran nodded and had an overly serious look on his face as he picked his daggers up again and resumed sharpening them.

"But the Crows must have master assassins, men with years of experience. Why not send one of them?" The Templar pressed.

"Why not, indeed?" the elf agreed as he closed one eye and examined the edge of his blade before tucking it into one of his more obvious sheaths. "It is a mystery for the ages."

"You aren't going to tell me, are you," Alistair said flatly.

Zevran smirked and shook his finger at the Templar, "Morrigan said you were sharp. No liar, she."


	29. The Queen of the Eastern Seas

_I have not forgotten you! Ok, so maybe I did forget a little bit last week, but it wasn't so much that I forgot as I convinced myself I already posted it. The good news is that the break finally allowed me to get a couple of chapters done :)_

_Thank you to those of you who reviewed you can't see me (I promise I'm not abandoning this fic. I warned you guys that you might end up missing a week or two), Bingham Vance (I was beginning o worry I'd offended you because I forgot to respond that one time…) and Zeeji (its ok if you're not great at reviewing. It's the effort that matters ^-^ ). And of course thanks to my beta fishy Eva._

_Oh man, we are almost at 90 reviews you guys! I can't believe it. _

_Anyways, enjoy!_

.oO***Oo.

After breakfast, the companions split. Kallia's first stop was the Chantry to turn in the work they had completed on their way to Denerim and pickup what other work was to be had there. After that they found a sergeant who Kallia approached cautiously for work. He quickly made it clear that, though he recognized her as a Grey Warden, he had no quarrel with her and if she and her companions wanted to work he wouldn't turn away help where offered.

Must to Zevran's delight, their next stop was the Pearl.

.oO***Oo.

Alistair quickly found a blacksmith to sell their looted armor and weapons. The one he assumed was Wade critically eyed the Gloves of Diligence Kallia had gotten for him from the blacksmith in Redcliffe. Commented on all the flaws then said it was a decent piece of work but he could do so much better if only they'd get him some better materials. Alistair had uncomfortably promised to keep an eye out.

.oO***Oo.

As Kallia's group neared the Pearl, she caught sight of a rather raunchy sign that hung above the door. Her walking slowed and her brow furrowed. "What's a whorehouse?" she asked suddenly, not really directing her question at anyone in particular.

Zevran stopped walking and she followed suit and looked at him. Genuine surprise covered his face. "You do not know?"

Kallia shook her head, "I've never heard the word before, what is it?"

"A whorehouse is where you go to enjoy the physical pleasures the body has to offer," Zevran explained with a leering smirk.

"Where you go to have sex?" Kallia confirmed. Mangy let off a huff and Kallia's frowned deepened. "Where you… Why in this Blight blasted land would you _pay_ for sex?"

"For some unfortunate people, that is the only way they can have sex. You see, my dear, not everyone is as roguishly handsome as I or as stunningly beautiful as you... Others are here to live out fantasy that they would not otherwise be able to fulfill. You see where I am coming from, yes?"

Kallia thought about it. She started to nod then paused and shook her head no instead. "Sex is sex, there's nothing to fantasize about," she told him.

Zevran sighed dramatically. "Ahh, my dear Warden. So experienced yet so innocent at the same time. It is a conundrum, yes?"

.oO***Oo.

They had then made their way to the market square where Alistair convinced Wynne to buy a large wheel of Anderfel cheese, trying to convince her that Kallia wouldn't mind because she _loves_ cheese. Wynne had arched an eyebrow and pointed out that Kallia hated cheese and always gave him her share of it. To which Alistair had responded that nobody hates cheese, they just hadn't found one they liked. He'd then put on his best puppy dog face and looked at the cheese so longingly that Wynne couldn't bring herself to deny him. He hadn't even minded when Leliana started giggling and teasing him.

He had cheese.

.oO***Oo.

As Kallia spoke with the White Falcon's to leave the Pearl she could hear a ruckus going on behind her. A woman cursing and the clang of metal hitting metal. Just as the leader of the mercenaries scoffed and left she heard the woman shout, "Be off with you now and be glad your gold is all I took!"

As Kallia turned to watch the mercenaries leave, she saw the woman kick one of the men she'd been fighting in the rear as he ran.

"Isabela…?" she heard Zevran mutter under his breath.

"Friend of yours?" Kallia asked him.

The other elf chuckled, "Let us go see, yes?"

Before they could make a move however, the woman caught sight of the assassin and walked towards them, a scowl on her face. "And what have we here?" she asked, looking very much like she might start circling Zevran predatorily. "Come to apologize for leaving me bereft of my lord husband and vanishing without a trace?"

"You know it was just business, Isabela. Besides you are better off without him, yes? Plus, I see you inherited the ship," Zevran replied, clearly trying to maintain one of the few friendships he had left.

Isabela laughed and wrapped one arm around Zevran's shoulders. "I suppose I never did like the greasy bastard anyway. What say you, Zev? Have time for a drink with an old mark's wife?" the rogue caught the way Zevran's eyes moved to Kallia's for a moment, drawing her attention to the two females and dog he had arrived with. She scrutinized them with such intensity that was expected of someone in her particular position. She was considered a pirate by most so she had to be cautious. Her eyes lingered the longest on Kallia.

The one that Zevran had looked to for permission.

Not a rogue. Isabela had no doubt the elf had no idea how to use the dagger she had tied around her thigh in a make-shift sheath. But the elf was clearly not a warrior either. No, if the staff attached to her back was anything to go by the elf was a mage. Interesting. She hadn't thought the Crows had access to mages. A Circle mage too, by the looks of her garb… or perhaps an escaped Circle mage since those were unlike any Circle robes she'd seen.

"I believe introductions are in order, Zevran," Isabela commented, keeping her eyes on the female elf.

"Ah, indeed! This is Isabela, Queen of the Eastern seas and the sharpest blade in Llomerryn. And Isabela, my dear, you will no doubt be amused to discover I am now travelling with a… Grey Warden." She heard the slightest hesitation in his voice as he revealed his companions identity.

He wasn't the only one who it seemed did not like this fact having been revealed. The whole group tensed, though Zevran seemed unsure of which side he would fight on if it came down to that. A fact she doubted the female elf picked up on, Isabela had known Zev much longer and her eyes were much sharper.

Ah, well. She had no quarrel with the Warden and could see no reason for it to come to Zevran picking sides anyway. "A Grey Warden? Charmed," she offered a hand in greeting but the elf stared at it with a confused frown. Isabela laughed at her confusion, "It's called a handshake, it's a form of greeting between comrades in Llomerryn," she explained and offered her hand to Zev. He took it, showing the Warden what to do then Isabela offered the hand to the Warden again.

This time the elf took it.

"Your fighting skills are certainly impressive," the Grey Warden commented as she took the seat across from Isabela.

"I suppose you saw that little drama," the rogue sighed dramatically. "None of these poor brutes has ever proven a match for me. They're too clumsy and predictable," she folded her hands in front of her and rested her chin on them. There was an obvious challenge to her voice.

A Circle mage would be an interesting opponent. They were rare outside the Tower, even rarer were ones that could actually fight. Her impression of most Circle mages was that they were pansies, perhaps decent strategists because they had spent their lives studying but with little to no real world experience they couldn't prove to be much of a challenge.

This Grey Warden though… She did not fit that stereotype at all. Though Isabela had no doubt she could easily defeat the mage in a one on one fight, it would be an interesting battle at the very least. Perhaps the Grey Warden would be willing to discuss her viewpoint of battle.

"But you care little for my troubles. Come, share a drink and a friendly game with me. Have you ever played Wicked Grace?" Isabela offered, it was obvious by the Warden's face that she had not so the rogue added, "I see you haven't. Don't worry, it's an easy game to learn. Difficult to master, but easy to learn. I'll teach you and you shall honor me with a game, yes?"

She pulled out her deck and dealt them a hand face up so she could explain each move as they went. As soon as she was assured the Warden understood the game well enough, the real game began.

.oO***Oo.

Alistair had paused when he passed the building. He didn't need to pull out the worn piece of vellum to know that this was the place.

Goldanna's house.

That it was _her_ chicken scratch handwriting on the sign outside the door advertising laundry, he was sure of it. That writing was so similar to his own. Obviously it was a family trait. It must come from his mother…

He'd stood there staring at it until Leliana had called back to hurry up and Sten had offered to take some of the supplies he was carrying if it was too heavy for him. The offer would have been nice had it not been said with a tone of voice that indicated he was less of a man for the offer even to have been made.

He took one last glance at the door then decided maybe he would ask Kallia to go with him later...

.oO***Oo.

Kallia was beginning to doubt her understanding of the game. It seemed no matter what she did, Zevran's friend always managed to have a better hand. But it was just a game and Kallia refused to allow herself to get frustrated.

The more games they played, however, the narrower Zevran's eyes seemed to get. Finally, as they just finished one hand and were about to start another, Zevran cleared his throat.

"Ah, my dear friend Isabela. You have bought enough drinks, I think. My dear Warden, perhaps you could help me carry the mugs back, yes?" he asked and stood, he easily caught her eye and any protest she had died on her lips as she stood to follow him. She had the money purse anyway. "You do realize she is cheating, right?" he asked as soon as they were out of hearing range.

Kallia frowned, not understanding _cheating_ in this context. "There's no money involved, how could she be over charging me?"

"No, no, my dear Warden. She isn't following the rules, she is pulling cards from her sleeve or some such thing," he explained then turned to the barkeeper to order their ale and a light wine for Kallia. The mage handed him the purse for the coins and she tried to figure out what he means.

"But… Why wouldn't she follow the rules? There's no point in playing if you don't follow the rules…"

"She is testing you, I think. To see if you can outwit her, yes?" Zevran picked up on tray and Kallia the other.

"But to beat her, I would have to cheat as well," Kallia told him. "I don't know how to do that."

Zevran smirked and pulled a piece of string from his pocket and handed it to her. "Let me help, yes? I think I know how we can beat her."

.oO***Oo.

Wynne had a headache.

She was fresh out of elfroot and she had a headache.

"Cheese!"

"Ribbons!"

"Cheese!"

"Shoes!"

"Cheese!"

"ENOUGH!" old mage yelled and put her hand to her head. The two _children_ quieted instantly and followed along behind her.

"They act more like children than fighter against the Blight. It is Ferelden's custom to pacify them, yes? I have cookies..." Sten offered her a neatly wrapped package.

"Where did you get those?" Wynne asked him.

"There was a child, a fat, slovenly thing. I relieved him of these confections. He didn't need more."

.oO***Oo.

Something had changed when they went to get the drinks. Perhaps Zevran told the Grey Warden something or perhaps she figured it out on her own. But _something_ had changed. She now held a seriousness she had not held before. She watched with an attentiveness of someone who has something to lose instead of someone just playing a game for fun.

And she now fiddled with a piece of string in her free hand.

There had to be significance to that but for the life of her, Isabela could not figure out what the string was for. Her fingers did not seem to follow any sort of pattern and Zevran did not seem to have any way of communicating back. He made no random or out of place movements.

But no matter, the next card was the Angel of Death, she would win either way.

And yet… When the cards were revealed the Warden had the better hand and the smirk on Zevran's face told her he knew exactly how that had happened. But he was across the room, so even if the one to figure it out was Zev, the one to win was the Warden.

Isabela was suitably impressed.

.oO***Oo.

_Ohh How did Kallia cheat? Any guesses?_


	30. Chapter 30

_Since you asked, here's a chapter to make up for missing you last week. _

_A couple of comments, in this chapter I use some Dutch. Origonally I had intended to use Latin but Word Translator didn't have Latin so I picked the one that I liked the look/sound of the best. __**But**__ I don't speak Dutch myself, so if any of you out there do and the Dutch I have is wrong, please feel free to review or pm me and tell me what it should be. _

_I am perfectly aware of how horrible the translations the translators come up with can be. _

_A special thanks to Eva for this chapter. She was very helpful with the fighting bits ^-^_

_And finally, one last comment before I let you read. This chapter contains some stuff near the end that some of you might not like. I __**promise**__I'm going somewhere with it and that it will lead to some wonderful Alistair/Kallia fluffiness. _

_*Groan* If the companions make it through Denerim without you all putting out hits on me it'll be a miracle. _

.oO***Oo.

Isabela lead them to a large alleyway behind the Pearl that looked like it had seen more that its share of fights, but was relatively cleared up because of it. She held her hand out toward the young elf.

"Let me see that dagger you have on your thigh before we get started," she asked and beckoned the mage over. Kallia slipped the dagger out of it make-shift sheath and handed it to Isabella.

The duelist turned her hand vertical then placed the dagger atop her hand right before the cross-guard. She moved it slightly until it balanced perfectly on the side of her fingers. Satisfied with that test, Isabella began to lightly tap the edge of the blade on a wooden support beam for the awning over the door, with a nod she held the dagger, handle first, to Kallia.

"It is a good blade, well balanced and the point of percussion is in a relatively good spot. One of yours, I take it Zev?" She glanced at the male elf that was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He nodded once and she turned her attention back to the mage in front of her. "I want you do a few small vertical and horizontal slashes, get used to the feel of the blade."

Kallia examined the blade for a moment, as though she'd be able to see what this _point of percussion_ was just by looking at it. "The point of what?" she finally asked and looked at the other woman.

" The point of percussion is the place where the blade bounces the least when you hit something with it,. You want to try and hit your target with that point on the first strike so it will be the most effective. Hand me the blade and I will show you where it is and how to find it."

Kallia handed her back the blade and Isabella tapped the wooden support beam again. "See how it does not bounce when it hits the wood here?" Kallia leaned in then nodded. "That is the point of percussion. Now, try with the striking."

The mage took the dagger back and fell into a stance she used for her staff fighting. She swung the blade several times, trying to apply what she knew of Alistair's sword fighting and her own Quarterstaff to the dagger.

"No, sweet thing, always keep the dagger aimed at your target. Straight quick attacks; there is no arcing like there is with a sword. Like this," she instructed as she fell into a basic stance and demonstrated several quick jabs. Kallia watched the rogue do the action several times before falling into a similar stance and mimicking the motion. Isabela allowed her several tries to get used to the dagger, but it was clear she was not comfortable with a fighting style so different from her own.

"I told you, Isabela," Zevran called from the sidelines. "She lacks the grace to do as you are asking."

But Isabela was not one to be deterred and simply decided on another tactic, determined to prove Zevran wrong, if nothing else. "Put your dagger away, Warden. Instead, show me what you know with your own weapon. Let me get a feel for how you fight, perhaps that will better show me how to instruct you."

Kallia nodded once, understanding that not everyone learns the same way, and removed her staff from her back. She fell into a ready position and began running through a basic 12-hit form launching spells at optimum moments.

Isabela nodded, satisfied, and instructed Kallia to withdraw her dagger once more. The mage nodded and tossed her staff to Zevran, who leaned it against the wall next to him, while she withdrew the blade he had given her from its place tied to her thigh.

"Since defense will depend on the type of attack, the importance of correctly attacking can hardly be stressed enough. There are high and low, left and right attacks, with the dagger in forward or reverse grip, in the left or right hand; this gives a total of 16 basic attacks, but I will just show you the very basics. Now, do as I do, sweet thing," Isabela told her and altered the slashing motion she had shown her earlier to better fit with the mage's staff experience. This time the elf mimicked her perfectly and Isabela nodded. "Very good," she told the elf and began to show her a slightly more complex move.

.oO***Oo.

Zevran heard the men coming before the others, except perhaps the dog… though if the dog had heard he gave no indication of it. That had always been one of Isabela's weaknesses, she could get rather single-minded when she wanted something, and right now it was clear she wanted the Warden. The mage knew what the human woman was doing, he could tell, though he was baffled as to why she had allowed the rouse to go on this long.

But he had to admit it was definitely interesting to watch. The two women dancing around each other, subtly flirting and testing the other to see how far they would be allowed to go.

Now, Zevran was not much of a voyeur, usually preferring to be a part of the action than a mere spectator, but the intricate dance the two women before him were performing had caught his attention and he found himself not minding being left out... Just this once.

"Isabela, my dear," he called, catching the two women's attention. They turned to look at him. "We have company," he informed them. He grabbed Kallia's staff and threw it to her. She fumbled slightly but managed to catch it with her one free hand.

The elf didn't have time to sheath her dagger before the mercenaries she'd convinced to leave the Pearl walked down the alleyway.

"We are the White Falcons and nobody talks to us like that!" He yelled at her and pointed his sword at Kallia.

Isabela cocked an eyebrow, "Are you only just realizing she convinced you to leave, silly man?"

The man's went wide with rage and his nostrils flared. "Teach 'em a lesson, boys!" he yelled and ran for Isabela. She easily ducked out of the way of his clumsy attack and slipped a dagger into a chink in his armor. The rogue clicked her tongue and shook her head at his lack of skills. She was surprised the other men kept attacking once their leader went down, these were the kind of men that would normally have been lost without their leader.

Isabela also kept an eye on the Warden from the corner of her eye. She had been right, she decided. Circle mages were pansies without a lick of battle sense. The few hits she landed with her staff lacked strength and accuracy, mostly just bouncing off the mercenary's armor and she had not yet been shown _where_ to strike with her dagger for the most effect, so those hits did the same.

If it weren't for the dog steadfastly protecting her, she'd have died within seconds of her first attempted hit.

The dog let off a growl and a bark and the Warden seemed to suddenly become frustrated with the dagger in her hand. She dropped it and attached the hand to her staff, which she thrust at the throat of the mercenary that she was currently fighting. The man went down, struggling for breath through his collapsed airway but a bark from her dog had already drawn the Warden's attention behind her. She turned on her heel, her staff in one hand pointed in the direction of the man trying to sneak up behind her. The air chilled as ice shot from her staff and the man was suddenly a frozen block of ice.

"I've got a frozen one for you, Alistair!" the elf called out. Isabela didn't know who Alistair was, but Kallia simply turned from the frozen man to blast fire in another direction., clearly expecting this Alistair to take care of it. Her dog seemed to have noticed that Alistair wasn't going to respond and jumped on the man, knocking him over and shattering him into a pile of human flesh.

A gurgling behind Isabela distracted her from the elf. She turned to see Zevran with his dagger in the side of a rouge that had snuck up on her. White foam fell from his mouth as he hit the ground.

"You still haven't learned to watch your back," he noted, glancing around to be sure all of their attackers were dead or at the very least unconscious.

"And why would I watch my back when I have you watching it for me?" she smirked, though the thought went unsaid that allowing Zevran at his back was exactly how her husband had died.

"Because I have my own back to watch, dear Isabela," he informed her.

"Vertrouw niemand meer dan jezelf," Kallia called from the ground where Mangy had taken it upon himself to lick all the blood from the fight off her. Zevran and Isabela looked at her utterly confused and it occurred to her that there was a chance people outside the Tower might not speak the dead language of the mages of Tivintar. "It's an old mage saying," she told them. "It means 'Trust no one more than yourself.'"

Zevran chuckled, "It sounds more like something the Crows would teach, my dear."

"Why would a mage worry about who they trust when they are locked up safely in their Towers?"

"You never know who could be a demon or an abomination…" Kallia answer quietly, her eyes dropped back to the dog who was practically sitting on her. He whimpered quietly and licked her hand.

Isabela noticed the sadness that filled the air and immediately realized the need for a change in topic. "You did well, sweet thing," she told the elf as she leaned down to pick up the discarded dagger. She held back her surprise at the skill the elf had shown with her magic. That was something she had not expected and decided that perhaps a duel with the elf would have been more difficult than she had first evaluated. It might be worth it to ask for one.

Isabela offered a hand to the mage who reached up to take it as her dog made his way over to where Zevran was once again leaning against the wall. The elf took it and Isabela pulled her to her feet, _accidently_ pulling too hard and causing the young mage to stumble into the duelist's chest as Kallia wrapped her arms around the taller woman's waist to steady herself.

"Careful, sweet thing. We wouldn't want you to fall," Isabela told her.

"No," Kallia replied, looking up at the rouges face. "We definitely wouldn't want that."

Isabela released the mage and stepped away from her. "I think you've got the basic attacking down. Let's work on countering. Zev, come take up a position across from her," she called over to the other elf. He muttered something quietly to the dog at his feet before drawing out two daggers and standing across from the Warden while Isabella herself took a position behind her.

Slowly, so Kallia could easily avoid the dagger, he attacked her stomach with a lower left hand attack.

"Now, sweet thing. You want to step forward with your left foot," Isabela directed her, placing her hands on the elf's hips and repositioning her body. Her hands moved to Kallia's wrists to position her hands, causing her own body to be pressed to Kallia's back. "Block with your left and strike with you right," she instructed as she moved her right hand to attack Zevran's upper chest. "Good but try to keep your back straight," she instructed as her hands went to Kallia's ribcage, straightening her back and pressing her into her own body.

Kallia's arms fell to her side as she turned to look at the rogue. "Do you want to sleep with me?" She asked. Isabela's eyes widened in surprise for an instant before a smirk covered her face.

"I do," she answered simply.

"Then why don't you just say so?" Kallia asked, confused by the odd actions of the other woman. In the Tower, when you wanted to sleep with someone you just told them outright, there may be some flirting involved for the fun of it but none of these evasively subtle moves that left you wondering if that was indeed what was wanted.

Isabela chuckled and wrapped one arm around the elf's waist again, bringing her other hand up to the back of the mage's neck. "I would like to sleep with you, Grey Warden," she said quietly and applied a slight pressure to the back of Kallia's neck. Kallia hesitated for a fraction of a second for a reason she couldn't put her finger on.

But she could think of no reason _not_ to enjoy herself and it had been months since she'd had some good sex. And yet… as she kissed the other woman, there was a nagging voice in the back of her mind. Something was _off_. Something was _wrong_.

Kallia had never felt this way when kissing someone before, man or woman. She'd always been able to draw _some _pleasure out of kisses with even the worst of kissers and this woman was far from bad at it. But the familiar heat that usually accompanied foreplay was nowhere to be seen.

The other woman must have picked up on Kallia's hesitation as she slowed the kiss and withdrew her lips enough to talk. "Is there a problem, sweet thing?"

"I don't understand. You're very good at this, I should be enjoying it," Kallia told her with a frown.

Isabela chuckled. "But you aren't? Have you been with a woman before?" Isabela asked.

"Several times, as well as men. I have never _not_ wanted sex before," she could feel her confusion growing.

"Perhaps, my sweet mage, it is not that you don't want to have sex but merely that I am not the one you want to have it with," she offered to the mage as she released her. Kallia's eyes went wide at the implication of this. Mages do not form attachments to their sex partners. Attachments would lead to jealousy and jealousy would lead to Tranquility.

A voice in the back of her mind (that sounded suspiciously like Leliana's) whispered to her that she _wasn't_ a Circle mage and she could form whatever attachments she wanted.

And of course this reminded her of a conversation she'd had weeks before with the redhead, admitting she wanted to sleep with the Templar which made images flash in her mind of _Alistair_ doing what Isabela had only moments before. A familiar heat coursed through her body and her eyes flew open with realization.

Kallia did the only thing she could think of.

She ran.


	31. What Is And Isn't Done

**_This story is now M!_**

_Mainly I've upped the rating to be safe, probably should have upped it on the last chapter but oh well._

_Anyway, I'm probably going to change the day I publish chapters. I've started going to something on Monday nights which leaves very little time to get on the computer and get a chapter published. I want to say its going to become Sunday but it might get pushed to Tuesday some weeks. _

_I'm sorta publishing this from work so I can get this out as close to on time as possible, but because of that I can't go back to make a list of the people who reviewed. __But know that I did read them and I still very much love getting reviews, I just don't have the list of names memorized. Thank you everone who reviewed and thank you to Eva for betaing. Don't forget to be keeping up with her story as well :)_

_That being said... Do you have any idea how **hard** it is to come up with Mangy's nicknames for people? Hard. Very hard :P_

_Anyway, one last warning in case anyone missed the first one and then you can get to the chapter._

**_Stars is now rated M for implied sexual situations._**

_Geeze, now I feel like that big green screen that plays before previews in the movies._

_Enjoy_

**[Edit 11/9/10: Fixed typo (Thank you LadyElle00)]**

.oO***Oo.

Mangy followed his elf as she left the alleyway at a near run. He had no idea what had happened to cause such confusion to fill her but she was ignoring his calls that she was going the wrong way. He tried to keep track of where they were but there were too many smells and sounds to keep track. The unfamiliarity of the busy streets was doing little for his elf's state of mind, though she seemed to be filled with a desire to simply be _away_ more than a desire to be anywhere in particular.

Fortunately no one seemed to be paying much attention to a distressed elf darting through the streets so long as she didn't bump into them, though that was a talent his elf seemed to lack. She seemed to realize this though and soon took to back alleys.

This did not make Mangy any more comfortable.

With a burst of speed he darted in front of her, forcing her to stop and listen to him as he explained that she was lost, _he_ was lost, they were heading into a part of town that didn't exactly look like it would welcome a strange elf, and she had left her staff in the back alley with Ocean Salt and Leather Elf.

.oO***Oo.

Zevran chuckled as he watched the Warden dart off with her dog at her heels. He needn't worry about her even without her staff, he knew. A mabari that had lost an owner was always particularly protective of their new master (though seeing how the dog and elf interacted, he wondered if _master_ was a fitting term). He didn't need anyone to tell him that Mangy had lost an owner before, the dogs actions spoke for themselves.

"Sorry, Zev. I didn't expect her to react like that," Isabela said watching her go, but Zevran just chuckled.

"She gives off an air of experience that is rather misleading, my dear Isabela" Zevran answered.

"Either way… It would seem I'm all hot and bothered with no way to cool off," Isabela told him, stepping close. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer.

"I'm afraid I can only make you hotter, my dear," he smirked as she leaned down to claim his lips.

"You promise not to kill me?" she smirked, trying to make light of the request.

"Ahh, you make so many demands," he sighed dramatically.

"Promise, Zev," she demanded, her voice becoming more serious as he felt her pull away. "Promise or _I'll_ leave _you_ all hot and bothered."

"Very well, Isabela. I shall make no attempt to kill you for the remainder of the evening, yes?" he chuckled. She apparently found this promise to be good enough for she ground her upper leg between his only to find certain areas well protected against such ministrations under the leather skirt of his armor. She let off a growl and reached down to remove the offending piece of armor when Zevran chuckled and pulled away. "Come, my dear. Let us grab a room. We don't want to do this in a dirty alleyway, no?"

"Hmm, you've never complained about dirty alleyways before, sweet thing," she muttered against his lips.

"But if I remember correctly, dirty alleyways lead to interruptions and I am very much looking forward to _uninterrupted_ sex this time, yes?"

.oO***Oo.

Kallia froze as Mangy suddenly stood in her path. She looked around her and realized he was right. She could barely find her way around the city and now she had no idea where she was or how to get back to the tavern.

A wave of homesickness hit her and she suddenly longed to be back in the Tower. Back where the world made sense. Where she could lose herself to the books and forget that the world beyond the protective walls she lived within even existed.

But she couldn't go back.

She could never go back.

She could pretend that all was as it once was, sure. But she had seen too much, _done_ too much, to be that ignorant little mageling she had been. There would always be that voice whispering in the back of her mind that isn't where she was supposed to be.

It was with sudden clarity that Kallia understood the feelings of the apprentices brought to the Tower too old. She understood now and it only served to amplify her desire to go home. The young mage sat down against one of the dirty walls and put her head in her hands.

"Are you lost, little elfling?" a gravelly voice caught her attention and drew her eyes to a hobbled old man standing near her, observing her.

"Yes," she told him simply.

He hobbled closer and sat next to her against the wall. "It would seem you are lost in more ways than one, little elfling. Would you like to tell ol' L'lonneal what the problem is."

"I don't have a problem, there's no problem," Kallia answered a bit too quickly.

He gave her a look that told her just how convincing she was before saying, "Ah well. I suppose your problems are your own. You youngin's never take advantage of your elders for advice. You always have to learn things the hard way, don't you?" He used his cane to help him stand up. "What say you let me help you with at least one of the ways you're lost, eh?" he chuckled. "Where are you headed?"

Kallia glanced around her as though hoping to find the answer that way. She didn't want to go back to the inn. Alistair would be there and she couldn't quite bring herself to face him until she had sorted out the emotional turmoil Isabela had brought on.

"The Wonders of Thedas," she answered. It was the only place she could think of where she might find some piece of mind. If he found it to be an odd destination he didn't say, he just held a hand out in the direction the needed to go and waited as Kallia brought herself to her feet to follow him.

They walked in silence for several minutes, Kallia following him blindly, paying little attention to where they were going, before he finally said. "You're not from around here. I know every elf born in our Alienage and you aren't one of them."

"I was born here but I'm afraid I haven't lived here for many years," she answered.

"Ah, that explains your clothes then. In my day we would never have worn something so unpractical. You kids wear the strangest styles. Showing so much skin, it's a wonder you aren't freezing. Fall starts tomorrow, you know, and winter soon after that. Let's see you youngins trudging through foot deep snow in that short skirt thing you're wearing, eh? Glad I won't be around to hear you complaining then," he huffed. Kallia paid little attention to his ramblings as she absently reached down to scratch Mangy's ears.

"The mages are good people though, even if most of them seem a bit funny in the head," the old elf continued to ramble. "I've been sent there a couple of times in my life. They're very respectful, there. Very polite."

"Manners are very important at the Tower," Kallia answered absently.

"They're important _everywhere_, elfling," L'lonneal scolded and shook his finger at her. "Just because the humans tend to forget their manners, especially to elves, is no reason for us to forget our manners. And don't you forget it!"

Kallia chuckled at his enthusiasm. "Of course. Manners are very important, I agree," her eyes went sad as she added, "Irving made sure all of his apprentices learned manners…"

"Irving sounds like a smart man. Your father?"

"Irving was… like a father to me. He was my teacher," Kallia told the old man.

"Teacher? You can read?" L'lonneal asked with surprise, pausing in his walking to look at her.

Kallia looked back with an equal amount of surprise on her face. "You can't?"

"Most elves can't, elfling," he squinted at her. "This Irving sounds like a good man. A good elf."

"Irving isn't an elf, he's human," Kallia informed him, not understanding why L'lonneal had assumed otherwise.

"Human, eh? Hmph! Good humans are hard to find these days. But anyway, here's the Wonders of Thedas. Can you find your way home from here, elfling?"

Kallia hesitated, speaking to the man had been… comforting… and she was hesitant to let this sure source of comfort in all the confusion go so easily. "If you wanted… I could show you a few words," she offered hesitantly.

"And how would you do that, elfling?" he chuckled. "You have no paper or pen on you to show me with."

"The Wonders of Thedas will have those things, as well as a quiet place for you to learn, if you want. Knowledge is never a bad thing to have," Kallia tried to convince him.

"You think they'll just give you those things?" he asked.

"Yes," Kallia answered simply.

"Hmph! And why would they do that, elfling? They're good people to be sure, but nothing is free in this world."

Kallia glanced at the door. To bring a non-Circle mage she would need the authority of a Senior Enchanter, but she had the robes, didn't she? She gave the old man a secret smile as she turned back to face him. "Because I am Senior Enchanter Kallia of the Grey Wardens."

And to her surprise, the words didn't feel like a total lie on her tongue.

.oO***Oo.

"I could use a man like you on the Siren, Zev," Isabela told him as she traced random circles on his chest with her fingers.

"A deadly sex god to warm your bed?" he asked with a smirk.

Isabela laughed. "Oh that too," she answered. "Though I was more of talking about someone to watch my back, preferably without sticking a dagger in it," her fingers crept lower as she added, "Metal or otherwise." She climbed off him and went to the other side of the room where a small basin of clean water sat on a table and dipped the washcloth in the water. "I could use a new firstmate; my old one is planning a mutiny." She squeezed the washcloth over her shoulder and Zevran watched the streams of water cascade down her back.

"My dear-" he started but she turned to look at him.

"You owe me, Zev. For killing Ferdinand."

"Isabela, you are better off without him. Not only did you inherit the Siren, but you forget that I have slept with him as well and he is not what one would call a _gentle soul_."

Anger flooded her eyes for a moment and the next thing he knew she was straddling his waist trying to put a dagger to his throat. His hand easily caught her wrist, his own dagger at her throat. "And you thought that was an appropriate way to leave him for me to find? With your poisoned cum leaking out his arse?"

"I did not think you would be the one to find him, Isabela," Zevran told her, genuinely sorry.

"I may not have loved the man, Zevran… By the Creators, I may not even have _liked_ him! But no one deserves to be found like that. No one," She told him as her body slackened and she got off him.

"I take it you regret your offer, my dear?" he asked.

Isabela sheathed her dagger in her clothes next to the bed and sighed. "No, Zev. The offer still stands. We don't really go near Antiva much anymore. You never know when they'll sink a ship with one lone survivor who happens to be an assassin sent to kill your husband."

"I told you Isabela, that was just business," he told her, sheathing his own dagger.

"And now I'm just offering you a business partnership. We both know this… _arrangement_… you have with the Grey Warden won't last, Zev. I know you, you keep promising yourself it's just until something better comes along. Well here you go, I'm offering you that something better. Where did you get that, by the way?" she asked, indicating his dagger.

"An assassin never reveals his secrets, my dear," he shook his finger teasingly as he sheathed it.

She straddled his waist again and began kissing his neck as his hands went to her hips. "Just think about it Zev, you could kill the Warden and collect the bounty on her head. It would give you more than enough to start a new life," she offered seductively as she slowly inched down his body. "You don't have to agree now, but just… Think about it."

.oO***Oo.

_Poor Zevran! It just seems like the world is stacked against him, doesn't?_


	32. Soft

_Ok so I'm getting this out of the way now so I don't forget :P Thank you to TehDono and alyssacousland for reviewing chapter 31; amanda webber and Evalynne for 30; and LadyElle00, Evalyne, and TehDono for reviewing 29. Also thanks to LadyElle00 for catching the typo in the last chapter :) it's been fixed now. _

_Sorry publishing from work again and wanted to get the reviews on the list so that I'm not flipping back and forth to the site. I might be here early but it's still a work computer :P_

_Anyway, so funny story… The title of the last chapter ("What is and isn't done") was __**supposed **__to be the title for this chapter. But I'm lazy, so I just came up with a new title :P_

_Enjoy!_

.oO***Oo.

L'lonneal watched the young elf run her fingers lightly over the rows of books in the back room the human that had introduced himself as Tranquil (odd name, but he seemed to be an odd man) had led them too. He could almost see the tension drain out of her as she centered herself. He allowed her all the time she needed, it wasn't like he had anywhere else to be and she certainly looked like she hadn't had a calm moment in quite some time. That... and the padded chair they had given him to rest his old bones on was nothing to scoff at, it was certainly the most comfortable chair _he'd_ ever sat in.

Finally she turned to him, a slight smile gracing her face. The contentment playing across her face made her look years younger. Much too young to be a _senior _anything, he chuckled to himself.

"I suppose the alphabet is a good place to start," she told him and made her way to the table sitting next to him. He listened and watched as she explained that this was an A and it made an _aw_ and an _ay_ sound and this was a B and it made a _buh_sound, but he was far too old to remember much, though had he been a few years younger (_quite_ a few years) he probably would have been very grateful for her teachings and perhaps not for purely educational reasons either. She was certainly a good teacher but she was also quite pretty.

But instead he studied the young woman before him.

She finally took notice of where his attention laid as she finished explaining that this was an E and it made and _eh _or _ee_ sound. "Do you not wish to learn?" she asked and L'lonneal chuckled and picked up the paper she had been writing on. Her neat script was little more than a blur to him.

"I'm too old and set in my ways to learn this, little elfling," he informed her, holding the paper at different distances trying o focus it.

"Why do you call me that?" Kallia asked.

"What?"

"You keep calling me 'elfling' as though I were a child," she frowned.

"When you get to be my age, everyone is a child. Just how old are you, my dear?"

"I'm a Senior Enchanter and three months out of my apprenticeship," Kallia replied.

"No, what's your age?" Kallia frowned, not understanding his question, so he rephrased, "How many years old are you, child?"

"Oh," Kallia replied slowly, trying to think over the years for any sort of milestone that would tell her. Age meant very little at the Tower, most things were based on skill and merit, though undoubtedly the Senior Enchanters kept track of that sort of thing somewhere. "Probably about 26 years old, I'd have to guess," she finally answered.

"You're but a baby, far too young to be forgetting your age. I'm nearly 64," L'lonneal told her disapprovingly. He saw Kallia frown, then shake her head and sigh. "Is there a problem, little elfing?" he asked.

Kallia raised her eyes to him. "Life outside the Tower is... strange," she answered.

"I'm sure it's not so different from what you grew up with," he chuckled, knowing things that were different drew people's attention far more than things that weren't. "What is so strange to you, child? Tell ol' L'lonneal, maybe he can help."

He saw her hesitate as she studied him, debating whether to tell him what bothered her. No doubt debating whether or not to even admit something was bothering her at all. Finally, she glanced over her shoulder at the door and studied something he couldn't see. She must have found whatever she was looking for because after several moments she turned back to him.

"This whole thing with ages... What is so important about someone's age? Why is it that a person's age is what determines how much you should listen to them? Why not their skill? Since leaving the Tower I have seen old men who know nothing of a subject give advice that is followed while a younger expert's advice is ignored," Kallia told him.

"That is because we do not always know who is an expert on what, elfling," he told her. "Age is sometimes the only indicator of experience we have. You don't live to old age in this world without learning a few things." He bopped her nose with his finger and chuckled at the shocked look on her face. Her hand came up to nose, as if trying to figure out what the gesture meant.

The young elf nodded, "I suppose that makes sense. There are certain basic skills necessary to survive at the Tower as well."

"Is that what had you in such a tiff, child? Someone wouldn't listen to your advice?"

Kallia stood and began pacing with a frown on her face. "No... More of... someone _gave_ me advice and I'm not entirely sure what to do with it," she told him.

The old elf chuckled. "You can either follow it or not follow it, youngin'. There's really not much else to do with advice."

"But it makes no sense!" Kallia stomped her foot in frustration.

"Then don't follow it," L'lonneal told her simply.

"It isn't a matter of following it. If what she said was true... But it can't be true. It simply can't." she began muttering, though the old elf new the sound of someone trying to convince themselves (rather than others) of something. Her dog, who had been calmly lying at her feet before, raised his head and whimpered. She paused her pacing and looked at him, sighing before taking her seat.

"I'm a mage. It simply isn't done," she told him resignedly.

L'lonneal was quiet for a moment as he studied her. He didn't know what it was that _simply wasn't done_; even if he had, he doubted it was any of his business. What he did know, however, was that somewhere deep inside her, she believed whatever advice had been given to be true and was simply refusing to accept it. He could not force her to see what she refused to, but perhaps he could help her to at least acknowledge there might be something for her to see.

"Child, I realize you are not very religious," he started she remained quiet, watching him. "But surely you know the basics of the story of our beloved Andraste?" Kallia nodded, both to admit her knowledge and to encourage him to continue. "You know of how she freed the elves, youngin'?" Again, Kallia nodded. Mages do not doubt her existence (there was more than enough proof that she actually existed), merely the fact that she was somehow holy. "I wonder when she asked people why elves shouldn't be free, how many of them answered her 'It just isn't done'?"

The door to their small room opened, preventing any conversation as a Tranquil walked in. "The store will be closing soon," he told them. "Will you be requiring the room longer?"

L'lonneal made a show of standing up as he said, "Thank you, Tranquil, but I'd best be going before m' gran'daughter starts to worry. She's a good girl, you know. A bit paranoid, but a good girl none-the-less. You'll be able to find your way home from here, elfling?"

Kallia nodded, deciding not to mention that the reason she'd be able to find her way home was that Mangy had detected Wynne's scent and they would be following that back to the tavern. People always seemed to give her strange looks when she said she understood him. L'lonneal smiled and left the way he they had come in, pausing at the door to tell her, "Who is it that decides what is and isn't done, elfling? Think over it and decide for yourself what you believe."

Kallia nodded and after the old elf had left, she turned her eyes to the Tranquil, "I have a few things I need, do you mind if I find you after I clean up here?"

"I have no preference. I will be in the front of the store when you are ready," he told her monotonously and left.

.oO***Oo.

When Zevran returned to the Gnawed Noble, he should have been perfectly content… He'd just had several hours of mind-blowing sex (among other things) but Isabela's offer kept playing over and over in his mind.

Kill the Warden, collect the bounty, use the money to start a life for himself.

He had no delusions that her offer was made with the desire for someone skilled at her back rather than the desire for him in particular. In fact, he doubted she'd ever really trust him at her back again (metaphorically speaking, of course, he'd seen plenty of her backside over the last few hours). But an offer of freedom was an offer of freedom and, though he had a certain level of that now, it had never been offered outright. Once this Blight was ended, would the Warden require him to remain at her side? If he chose to leave now, would she stop him?

Servitude is still servitude, even with the pretense of freedom.

Zevran dismissed the thought to think on it later. It would do him no good to have these doubts floating about in his mind when he was in the company of the Warden's companions.

.oO***Oo.

"We found him!" Alistair announced proudly as he walked through the door to Kallia's room that evening. He found her sound asleep on her bed with Mangy curled up on the bed near the door. "Kallia?" he asked as he walked in the room. He could feel the dog's watchful gaze on him as he moved to stand next to the bed. She didn't stir as he knelt next to her either.

Alistair had seen the young elf sleep many times due to her habit of sleeping outside a tent, but this was different. This was the first time he had dared to come this _close_. The reality of her closeness (and the fact that Mangy was allowing him this close without biting his arm off ) gave him the courage he needed to move just a _little bit closer…_

He raised his hand and gently pushed some hair that had fallen from her braids (not currently in buns but still braided) behind one of her pointed ears. He still flinched when thought about the arrow that had come close enough to graze her hair. Another inch to the left and she'd have lost more than a half-inch wide strip of her lovely locks.

His fingertips gently brushed down her jaw line and he marveled at the softness of the skin. His own jaw was always course with stubble, even right after a shave. There was only so much that could be done with his mostly blunt razor. Admittedly, Zevran had offered him a dagger, saying they worked well for shaving and promising they were _very_ sharp, but who knew where those daggers of his had been (or more accurately _who _they had been _in) _or what the elf could have put on them… All it would take was one knick while shaving and he could end up dead!

But his fingers seemed to have grown a mind of their own (why, _why_, did his body parts stop listening to him when she was around?) as they traced a path up her chin to her lips. Warm breath tickled his fingertips as she sighed in her sleep and Alistair froze for a moment, worried that she might wake up but her eyelids didn't even flutter. He remained still for what felt like hours, but when he finally moved he found himself marveling at the softness of her lips as well and he couldn't help but wonder if she was this soft everywhere? Were all women this soft or was it just her? Was-

"Alistair."

He jerked away from her and stared at the door, wide-eyed and red-cheeked. "I didn't…! I wasn't…! There was a hair! And-!"

Leliana held a finger to her lips to indicate quiet and motioned him out of the room. He nearly tripped over himself in his rush to follow her commands and he heard Mangy making an odd noise that if he hadn't known any better he would have thought was a laugh.

"Alistair," Leliana started again reproachfully once the door had clicked shut. "Kali was exhausted when she got back and asked that we let her sleep until dinner."

"Oh," he answered, unable to keep the disappointment out of his voice. Leliana chuckled and held out several coins for him, which he took with a confused look on his face.

"We decided that tomorrow we'll each run our own errands, since we all need to purchase some of our own personal supplies. These are so you can buy whatever you need tomorrow."

"She'll be up for dinner though, right?" the Templar asked hopefully.

Leliana winked at him then and walked back to her own room.

.oO***Oo.

_I just love writing the fluff scenes for this story. Usually I'm so bad at fluff, but this story… I dunno… it's almost like they write themselves. Anyways… Don't forget to review :)_


	33. Family

_I'm so glad everyone loved the last chapter! ^-^ That last bit of fluff was actually inspired by a conversation Eva and I had about how our husband/boyfriend are always commenting on how soft women are. _

_So of course Alistair had to have this realization too ;)_

_In other news, I got a beta fish. Like an actual fish one. His name is Alpha the Beta Fishy. Spunky didn't really seem interested in him at all (by way of wanting to eat him or even really noticing his presence) except that he now drinks water from the other side of the sink so he can lie between me and the fishy tank. Just the same… I taped the lid shut and closed the bathroom door when I left. Spunky tends to be a rather jealous cat :P_

_So many reviews last week! TehDono, Raven Jadewolfe, alyssacousland, Evalyne, and Bingham Vance. Five reviews on one chapter ^-^ That being said… Raven Jadewolfe definitely deserves a special mention… She reviewed __**every**__ chapter in one night. _

_It was like an adventure for me… I got to relive all 32 through someone else's eyes. My sister spent the whole night laughing at me because I jumped and ran to the phone every time it said I had an email. It was awesome. _

_Enjoy!_

.oO***Oo.

Kallia stood in the shadows just out of site of the dining room where her companions had gathered for dinner. She watched them interact with fresh eyes as L'lonneal's words played through her mind. _Who says what is and isn't done?_

Her first instinct was, _The Templars... The Chantry_. But that wasn't right, was it? They may have set the rules for her in the past, but not anymore. Her next thought was _Alistair_ and that thought... wasn't so bad. The more she thought about it the more it made sense. He had been a Templar, he was a Grey Warden, and he knew the world outside the Tower and understood life under the Chantry's sharp eye and iron thumb.

Her eyes fell on the Templar. "Why do they call it a brothel? There isn't any broth..." he was asking Zevran. The elf arched an eyebrow as Alistair added thoughtfully, "Or _is_ there? Oh! I understand now, you pay the men and women to drink broth with you, don't you? It makes sense now."

"My friend, you can make a sort of broth there but I don't think you would enjoy the taste."

Kallia pursed her lips as Alistair blushed at the not-so-discreet comment Zevran had made. He understood life outside the Tower, but it seemed like he understood it from the perspective of the ten year old boy who had been sent to the Chantry. That only left one person… but the question was…

Did she trust herself enough to be the one to make those decisions?

.oO***Oo,

Alistair glared at the assassin who was flipping one of the coins Kallia had given him around his fingers. Kallia _had_ woken for dinner but he hadn't been able to get a word in edgewise as Zevran had spent most of the meal recounting their day for Leliana and Kallia herself had spent the meal shoveling food in her mouth as quickly as she could, retiring to her room as soon as she'd had her fill.

And the fact that Alistair hadn't gotten to talk to Kallia was somehow Zevran's fault… The Templar wasn't entirely clear on the _how_ it was the elf's fault but he was very certain that it _was._

So Alistair glared.

"Come now, Alistair. What is with the stern looks?" Zevran asked with mock hurt.

"You never answered my question," Alistair replied.

Despite knowing exactly which question the Templar was referring to, Zevran answered, "And which question is that, my dear friend Alistair? You ask so many, I cannot keep track."

"About why the Crows wouldn't send their best man."

"And for that I must endure such fearsome glares? You are a cruel man to subject me to such torture..."

"If you aren't telling me there must be a reason," Alistair told him.

Zevran sighed, not the over dramatic sigh that he usually used to dodge questions and make fun. This was the tired sigh of a man who had seen too much in his thirty years, a man who had been suspicious and endured suspicion from the moment he was born and, for the moment at least, had tired of it. "If you must know, the masters rarely take contracts outside of Antiva. And I made the best bid."

"Bid?" Alistair's interest was piqued and he sat down in the chair across from the assassin.

"We agree to pay the guild a potion of whatever the contract offers. The one who agrees to pay the most gets the contract as long as the guild deems them worthy," Zevran explained.

"But I thought you said you weren't paid anything. Poor as a chantry mouse, I believe your words were," Alistair's eyes narrowed.

"And here I thought you never listened to me, I'm touched," Zevran answered, though the words lacked his usual fire. "I offered the whole contract to the guild. One hundred percent."

"Why would you do that?"

"Why, indeed?" Zevran replied.

"And they thought you were worthy?" Alistair asked instead of pressing.

"Against a pair of Grey Warden recruits? Apparently so," Zevran scoffed. "Though admittedly Loghain failed to mention the Warden was a mage."

"That makes a difference?"

"You never know what sneaky defensive spells a mage could have around them. The Warden's Arcane Shield, for instance. It could take me several tries to get through that, yes? By the time I do, she's already realized there's someone attacking her and blasted the whole area."

"So you've thought about it a lot then," Alistair asked flatly.

"I cannot help it if thoughts of my dagger sliding in and out of her have invaded my thoughts... I _am _an assassin after all," Zevran chuckled, his tone implying exactly which dagger he spoke of.

Alistair's face flushed and he stood suddenly, nearly knocking the chair over. As the Templar began sputtering, Zevran's chuckle became an outright laugh.

"Come now, Alistair. You didn't really think she was an innocent little Chantry Sister, did you?"

Alistair opened his mouth to defend her honor, but stopped short as he realized that Kallia herself had implied (if not outright said) the same thing that Zevran was.

She'd had sex.

Plenty of it.

She liked it.

And the only reason she wasn't having it anymore was because there wasn't anyone to have it with.

Alistair suddenly felt a very possessive need to see her and Zevran's laughter followed him as the door closed behind him rather loudly. With the Templar gone, Zevran turned his attention to the only other person in the room to see that he had been watching the entire exchange with the same look of distain on his face.

"You seem to have quite the disdainful attitude towards me, my qunari friend," Zevran commented.

"Don't take it personally, elf. I have a disdainful attitude towards everyone," the giant replied.

"Yes, I suppose that is true," Zevran laughed then slapped his hands on his knees as he stood. "Now if you'll excuse me, I am going down to the tavern to make use of some of these coins the Warden has so generously given me, my tall friend."

.oO***Oo.

Alistair stormed through the hallway to the room Kallia shared with Morrigan. He opened the door a bit louder than necessary and both Kallia and Mangy's heads snapped up at the sound. Kallia went back to writing in her journal upon seeing who it was. Mangy, though he did rest his head on his paws, kept a steady glare on the Templar.

_She's __**my**__ elf, not yours._

Alistair approached the mage nervously, glad that Morrigan was nowhere in sight. He didn't really want to disturb Kallia but he fingered the crumpled piece of paper and remembered the request he wanted to make of her.

"Soo...I was wondering..." He started nervously, sitting down at the table across from her. She raised her head slightly to look at him, but did not set down her pen as she waited for him to continue. "Since we're in Denerim could we maybe... pay a certain person a visit?"

Kallia looked back down at the book and resumed her writing. "Loghain will get what's coming to him, Alistair. But it wouldn't be very smart to go against him before we've gathered all our allies."

"No, no , no, I know," he replied hurriedly. Kallia looked up at him again and, seeing the look on his face, set her pen down and gave him her full attention. "Someone else…"

She waited for him to continue but when he didn't she finally prompted, "Someone in particular or would you like to just pick a random person and go for tea?"

Though he wasn't entirely sure she meant it as a joke, it eased his nervousness just the same and he reached into his shirt and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. Kallia could see a small hole in one corner and streaks of dirt from where he had rubbed it. He held it for a moment before sliding the paper across the table to her in one quick motion as though he had to convince himself to do it and (once done) wanted to get it over with before he could change his mind. Kallia picked it up gingerly, worried that it might fall apart—it looked so worn. On the paper was a name and an address, clearly not in Alistair's handwriting.

"Goldanna Brown," the elf read aloud. She glanced up to Alistair with a questioning look on her face.

"My mother..." he started. "Before she di- before she had me.. She had a daughter. My sister. I was thinking maybe... since we're already here..." He trailed off again, glancing up to see a surprisingly understanding look on Kallia's face.

"That's who that woman was in your dream when we got pulled into the Fade. The one with all the kids," she said in understanding. "You want to find the only blood kin you have left?" Alistair nodded.

Kallia carefully folded the piece of paper along the creases and set it in the center of the table between them. Alistair's face fell from the hopeful expression it had taken on as he reached across the table to take the paper back. The elf saw his face and realized he'd misinterpreted her action. She reached across the table as well, resting her hand on his.

"We'll make time tomorrow, Alistair."

The Templar smiled gratefully and leapt up, in his excitement bumping the table. Kallia's flask of ink tipped and she herself had to jump up to keep ink from spilling all over her. Alistair's hand darted forward to save her journal as the ink touch the bottom corner.

"Sorry!"

"Don't apologize, it was an accident," Kallia told him as studied the ink. "Besides, it's easy enough to clean up, this happens all the time at the Tower..." she chuckled.

"Really?" Alistair asked, fascinated as she used Winter's Grasp to freeze the ink spilled over the table.

Kallia picked up the bottle and the black block of ice then carried them to the wash basin where she broke the ice into pieces that would fit in the bottle. A few black flecks remained in the bottom of the clay bowl when she had finished but for the most part, her ink was saved. A quick application of heat and her ink was back in its liquid (and usable) state.

She turned to see Alistair with the look of an apprentice whose instructor first showed them how to light a candle. She half expected him to start bouncing in his seat and beg her to do it again.

The mage just shook her head and went back to her writing.

.oO***Oo.

Kallia waited until Morrigan was asleep before quietly maneuvering out of her bed. Mangy rose from the dog-bed the innkeeper had brought up for him (though Kallia had to admit, it looked far more comfortable than her own lumpy mattress) and padded over to her. She scratched his ears and held a finger to her lips, reminding him to be quiet. He made a show of curling his toes up so his nails wouldn't tap on the floor.

Kallia checked the dagger attached to her thigh was secure then grabbed her staff (that had somehow shown up back in her room when she'd awoken) and Fade Striders. After she silently closed the door behind her she attached the staff to her back and slipped her boots on.

The tavern was quieter than it had been earlier but it was not yet empty. She wasn't eager to give the guests more to gossip about but she wasn't eager to be caught climbing in or out of a window either. Besides, most of the nobles had dismissed her and her group as adventurers. Travelers that had a bit of extra coin to splurge on a decent inn while they were in town and nothing more.

She walked straight out, her head held high. Her gait steady; not too fast but not too slow. She did not glance around her or over her shoulder. She did not notice the assassin sitting at the bar. She didn't notice as he tossed a few coins on the counter and followed her out, pulling the hood of his cloak up to cover his face.

.oO***Oo.

Kallia made her way across the square towards the Alienage. She hesitated before she approached the guard at the gate, since leaving the Tower she had quickly learned that humans were not always kind to elves… Usually for no other reason than they were elves. The only memory she had from before the Tower was of the streets of Denerim. Kallia closed her eyes at the painful memory of her first use of magic. Some things were best forgotten but magic made that impossible. As with all mages, every detail of her first use was burned into her brain.

She eventually forced herself to approach the guard only to be turned away. She sighed sadly but decided it was probably for the best. As she made her way back towards the tavern, a paper on the wall caught her eye and she stopped to read it.

_**Don't believe the lies! Friends of the Grey Wardens assemble. The hidden pearl holds the key to resistance. The griffons will rise again. **_

Chances were high it was a trap. No one was so stupid as to post they were friends of declared traitors and where they were meeting, even as poorly disguised as it was… She couldn't ignore the small chance that it was real, however, and decided to take a small group back to the Pearl the next day.

A short intake of breath had Mangy tensing and Kallia rounding on her feet and reaching for her staff. Her eyes scanned the shadows of the street but the only other person was the guard. When he let off a snort and another intake of breath that she now recognized as a snore she relaxed.

Mangy, however, remained tense, glaring at the shadows.

.oO***Oo.

The Warden had turned her back to read some sign, it was the perfect opportunity. He waited for the guard to make some noise and used that to cover up the almost silent hiss of his daggers leaving their sheaths. The noise startled her and she turned around to find the source. The dog stared right at him, even after she attributed the noise to the guard and relaxed.

She wore no armor, the mage's robes she wore would do nothing to protect her from his sharp daggers. All it would take was one carefully aimed throw…

He pulled back his arm and took careful aim…

.oO***Oo.

_Don't kill me! _

_You've trusted me with this story for 33 chapters; just promise me you'll trust me with one more before you decide if you want to hate me. _

_It's worth it, I promise. _


	34. Never Been A Cat

_**Hehehe Don't you just love cliffhangers? I'm sure you all do :) **_

_**Thank you to Raven Jadewolfe, TehDono, Bingham Vance, alyssacousland, Sakuke's Kanojo and Eva for reviewing (so many reviews lately, it has me all excited). Surprisingly one of you actually guessed what's going to happen… And here I was thinking I was being all mysterious. **_

_**Anyway, it's almost Thanksgiving and you know what that means? Food... lots of yummy delicious Mom-Made food for Janec. Also candy-season. My mom makes the most amazing caramels but she really only makes them in November and December. **_

_**But enough about me :P How about I let you get to what you actually **_**want**_** to read?**_

_**Enjoy!**_

.oO***Oo.

_The Warden had turned her back to read some sign, it was the perfect opportunity. He waited for the guard to make some noise and used that to cover up the almost silent hiss of his daggers leaving their sheaths. The noise startled her and she turned around to find the source. The dog stared right at him, even after she attributed the noise to the guard and relaxed. _

_She wore no armor, the mage's robes she wore would do nothing to protect her from his sharp daggers. All it would take was one carefully aimed throw…_

_He pulled back his arm and took careful aim…_

.oO***Oo.

"I'm getting paranoid," Kallia muttered to herself and shook her head in amusement. Mangy bumped her knees with his head telling her to get back to the inn. She scratched his ears but followed her dog's silent order. He glared at the shadows the entire way back and when they returned to the room he jumped up on her bed, taking his usual spot placing her between him and wall.

.oO***Oo.

A dagger slipped into the assassin's neck, killing him instantly and silently. His body was lowered to the ground as brown eyes watched the mage return to the inn. If her dog noticed the smell of blood (how could he have missed it?) he said nothing to the Warden, instead only rushing her back towards the inn.

Maybe he didn't think what lurked in the shadows was a threat. Maybe he decided it had nothing to do with them and he didn't want to get his elf into any more trouble than she would undoubtedly get herself into without help. Who knows?

The owner of the brown eyes watched from the shadows as she made her way back words the tavern while keeping a close eye for any shadows that moved in case there were any others following her. Once she was safely within the walls, or at least _safer_ within the walls, he turned over the body at his feet to inspect it.

It was no one he recognized but that meant nothing; there were dozens of assassins in even the smallest cell. He began rooting through the pockets and pouches. A letter, a dagger with a house crest on it, a few coins. The letter was no doubt instructions and descriptions of who to look for and where to look for them. He would read it later in better light. Finding nothing else of interest, Zevran picked the body up and, keeping to the shadows, made his way towards the Chantry where he remembered seeing a nice deep well.

It would be perfect for dumping a body.

.oO***Oo.

Zevran stood by the well, trying to read the letter in the poor light, he was a tad surprised they'd found someone else to take the job… And so quickly too! When he'd put his bid in he'd been the only one. Zevran was also little offended they would send someone after him so quickly but such was the nature of being a Crow. He decided he would keep the letter and show it to the Warden the next day.

Of course this would just make her Templar more suspicious. He would think Zevran was working with them or wrote the letter himself. The Templar would probably work himself into a fit.

That, in and of itself, made it worth the trouble.

Her Templar was just so fun to bait.

Just as he pocketed the letter and dagger, the side door of the Chantry opened and the light of a candle lit up the yard where he was standing. Knowing behind the well would be too obvious a place to hide, he jumped on the roof of the small shack behind it and crouched into the shadows.

"I tell you I heard something," the old bat that had been preaching about the sins of ham earlier stepped out of the doorway followed by the younger Sister that had been with her then too. Both women scanned the yard.

"You see? There's nothing. It's probably just the Timpson's old cat hunting mice again," the younger sister told her.

"Cor," the woman huffed indignantly. "Cat's do not _splash."_

"Well, maybe it knocked a stone or the bucket in it well," she replied, holding back a yawn. Zevran suddenly realized several of the shingles on the roof he was on were loose, including the one under his right foot.

"No, it was a big splash. Too big for a stone," the old woman said.

He slowly shifted most of his weight onto his left foot, making sure not to knock the shingle looser than it already was.

"Sister-" He took his foot off the tile completely, but before he could react it went crashing to the ground. Both women froze. "Who- Who's there?"

"Go get Ser Edward," the old woman ordered without taking her eyes off of the shadows. Zevran knew he could not allow that to happen. The easiest solution was to simply kill both women before they could call for help and be done with it.

But Zevran stopped himself from his usual course of action.

He had said that he would assist the Warden in her quest and, for now at least, that was his intention. Somehow he doubted the Templars finding two dead Sisters in front of the Chantry the day after the Warden came to town would be at all beneficial to her quest. So instead he moved slightly so they caught sight of his hunched form in the shadows.

"Meow."

The younger woman relaxed. "You see? Just a cat. Now let's go back to bed," she ordered, grabbing the older woman's shoulders and guiding her back within the safety of the Chantry. Zevran waited until the door had been locked behind the women before jumping from the roof and making his way back to the tavern.

He had pretended to be many things in his life: A waiter, a servant, a family member, a messenger, an ally, an enemy of his mark's enemy… many things.

Never before had he pretended to be a cat.

.oO***Oo.

Zevran waited until Kallia came down for breakfast the next morning. As she sat down he tossed the letter and dagger on the table in front of her. "I do not think we should linger here, my dear Warden," he told her. "I received a visit from an old friend last night."

Her eyebrows twitched as she picked up the letter and read it. Kallia pursed her lips as she read. "Where is your old friend now?"

"Rather dead but I still think we should leave, yes?" Zevran replied.

"What are the chances that the reinforcements the letter talks about are all ready here?" Kallia asked him.

"He still had the letter on him so unlikely, but I cannot know for sure," the other elf answered.

Kallia was quiet for a moment while she considered the options, "We still have a few things we need to take of today. We'll leave tomorrow morning. Alistair talked to Genetivi's assistant yesterday and we need to head back to the Tower. We'll finish our shopping today then leave tomorrow morning."

"If he was going where we just came from, we should have run into in on the way, yes?" Zevran asked with an arched an eyebrow.

"Nof neffeffarily," Alistair replied with a mouth full of his breakfast. Morrigan gave him a disgusted look, which he promptly ignored. He chewed for a moment then swallowed, making a point to do it in his own time and not because Morrigan wanted him to. "We cut through the Bannorn because we had work there," he paused to shovel another helping of food into his mouth. "Buf Brover Venetivi-" Wynne gave him a dirty look as well and he got a deer in the headlights look. He winced as he swallowed the half-chewed food before finishing his sentence. "-was leading an expedition. He'd probably have a cart with him, so he'd want to take the main roads since their easier to travel on." He paused for a moment in thought then added, "Also he's old." Leliana giggled as that earned him another dirty look from the healer.


	35. Broth

_My Thanksgiving was __**awesome**__. Lots of food and loud boisterous family… No leftovers though. _

_To give you an idea of our Thanksgiving… _

_We show up at Mom's at like 10 or 11 and while Mom and Nanny get dinner ready we (the kids) get the table set and play games or craft or whatever (Mom had me beading bookmarks for Nanny's friends). Then we eat from about 2 to 3 then play more games with Mom and Nanny. No one wants to me on Mom's team for CatchPhrase so we play that while she's doing in the dishes (cause she still guesses from the kitchen :P ) then when she's finished we play card games and people start leaving. _

_Its good times all around :)_

_Anyway, onto what you probably actually care about :P Thank you to Sasuke's Kanojo, alyssacousland, Evalyne, and TehDono for reviewing. Also thanks to Eva for betaing ^-^_

_I haven't reminded you guys in a while, but I really recommend you keep up with her story Abandoned Sanctuary. Since I'm betaing her story and she's betaing mine, both of our stories have little nods to each other that you might not pick up on if you haven't read her story as well. That and it's a good read. _

_But anyway, on with the story. Enjoy!_

.oO***Oo.

Isabela was exactly where she said she'd be waiting for him, though he waited for her to beat the three half drunk mean sitting with her before he approached. Two men grumbled but reached into their money pouches for the ante for the next round, only one stood and walked away. Zevran sat down in his seat.

"It would seem you have room for one more, yes?" He asked.

Isabela smirked. "There's always room for one more person to fill my money pouch," she told him as she dealt the cards for everyone. Three rounds later it was quite obvious that the competition was between the woman and elf, so the other two men left, grumbling about how their wives were going to kill them.

Isabela eyed the stack of coins in front of her, now half of what it had been. She frowned, "You've never beaten me this consistently before, Zevran."

"Never needed the coin before now, no?" he responded, scooping in coins into his own money pouch. He would count them later.

"You hardly need to be rich on the Siren, sweet thing," she scolded teasingly.

"That would be what I came to tell you, my dear Isabela. I will not be joining you on the Siren."

"_Why_?" surprise caused her mouth to open before she had a chance to keep it shut. Isabela was not surprised very often, it was not a feeling she enjoyed. She quickly regained her composure and added indifferently, "What exactly ties you to her?"

"She spared my life and I gave her my word," he answered.

Isabela snorted, "I _saved_ your life and you have never had a problem with lying to me before."

The elf chuckled. "I suppose that is true but I am... curious. And last night I came to realize she is in need of someone to watch her back far more than you are, yes?"

Isabela studied him for a moment before shrugging. "Well, I suppose it would be rather bad for business if Ferelden ends up being swallowed by the Blight, if this really is one," she told him then stood. "We'll be making trips here every couple of months for the next year or so, if you change your mind."

Zevran watched her leave then moved to her seat, he was always more comfortable with his back to a wall and a clear view of the room.

.oO***Oo.

Amusement lit Kallia's face at the look of utter curiosity on Alistair's face. There was a couple making out in one corner and he seemed almost unable to tear his eyes from them. She paid them little mind, it was nothing new to her... no, what drew her attention was the woman who had just attached herself to _her_ Templar. Alistair's eyes were finally drawn away from the couple to look at the woman who was practically hanging off of him.

"Hi?" he practically squeaked.

Kallia _should_ have felt amusement at his discomfort. She _should_ have felt indifferent when the woman replied, "Hi there, hot stuff. Care for a ride?"

Instead she felt an odd burning anger. Hard as she tried, she couldn't keep a small glare off her face. Alistair was too busy trying to figure out what was going on to notice the warming of the air around Kallia, but the woman hanging off him certainly did. She merely smirked at Kallia and pressed herself closer. An idea entered Kallia's mind and before she could stop herself a quick and subtle movement of her fingers had the woman yelping and jumping away from the Templar.

The man looked at her in relieved confusion, not realizing because of the thick padding he wore underneath it that the temperature of his metal armor had suddenly plummeted. The woman sent Kallia a suspicious look before sauntering up to her. Placing a hand on her shoulder she leaned in and whispered, "If he was yours all you had to do was say so, doll."

Kallia watched her walk away before turning her attention back to her Templar. Her eyes widened slightly at the frost appearing on his armor and a twitch of her fingers quickly had it warming back to room temperature.

"What can I get for ya, honey?" the woman who owned the placed asked her as she approached. Kallia frowned, unsure as to why the woman was referring to her as food.

"I saw a sign in the market place..." Kallia started.

Sanja smirked, "Did you, now? What can I show you? Men? Women? _Both_?" She winked, another gesture Kallia didn't understand, though this one she had seen Zevran do many times.

"It said we might meet some friends here," Alistair said quickly, seeing several women approaching him and wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible. The women who were approaching him stopped short, they glanced at each other then seemed to lose interest in him.

Sanja stilled as well, her face falling for a moment and her eyes fearfully glanced at a man sitting at the bar nearby who was obviously eavesdropping. "Isn't that your friend over there, by the door?" She questioned. "I thought I saw you in here with him yesterday at the left most table around two, didn't I?"

Kallia frowned, not understanding the last comment, but glanced to the door Sanja pointed to and was surprised to see Zevran leaning against the wall next to it with his arms crossed. He was looking down, his chin resting on his chest and his eyes closed, though Kallia had no doubt the elf knew everything that went on around him. Deciding it was best to simply play along with the woman, Kallia nodded. "Yes of course, there he is. I must be blind to have missed him."

Sanja smiled in relief. "Of course, honey. Go on back to your rooms, the three workers you requested are waiting for you."

Kallia nodded again and she and Alistair made their way over to Zevran.

"This is a trap, a rather obvious one at that. You know this, yes?" the elf asked as they approached him.

"How would you know?" Alistair asked him, narrowing his eyes.

"I'm an assassin, traps are what I _do_," Zevran smirked.

"Not very well... couldn't even kill us," Alistair grumbled.

Kallia sighed. "The thought that it could be a trap had entered our minds," she said to bring both men's attention back to her.

Zevran's face became a mask of hurt shock as his hands came up to rest on his heart. "And you were going to walk into a trap without your faithful assassin at your side? Or even a rogue?" He clicked his tongue. "You are not much of a deterrent to the Crows if you are dead, my dear Warden."

"I also can't walk into a trap if I don't know where it is," Kallia replied.

"And it's probably not a good idea to just go opening doors," Alistair added.

"But she told you where to go, my Warden," Zevran told her then clicked his tongue. "_I thought I saw you in here with him yesterday at the left most table around two_," he repeated in a purposefully fake imitation of a female voice. Zevran leaned in, looking as flirtatious and seductive as he could, whispered in Kallia's ear, "From her perspective, we were sitting on the right and we were here several hours earlier than two."

The assassin's eyes flicked to Alistair to take in his reaction and smirked at the jealous anger building there. Her mabari's quiet growl did not go unnoticed either. But, not wanting to give anything away to the watchman at the table, he released Kallia and motioned his three companions through the door behind him.

When it was closed behind them he continued. "We will find our trap in the second room on the left side where there will be three mercenaries waiting for us," Zevran explained.

Alistair's eyes narrowed suspiciously, "How would you know how many?"

"_The three workers you requested are waiting for you_," Zevran quoted again. "Now, my dear Warden. I believe the best course of action would be to have you three walk in while I follow in the shadows, yes?"

Kallia nodded but Alistair protested. "And leave our back wide open to you?"

"I am an assassin, yes? I do little good if they _know_ I am there," the elf argued.

"Alistair, that is the best plan. He hasn't turned on us yet, why would he now?" Kallia scolded lightly. Alistair sighed and looked off to the side, but grumbled his agreement.

"What about the man at the bar?" Kallia asked. "Won't he hear the fighting and join in?"

Zevran smirked, "I gave the lovely woman who run's this place something to slip into his drink. He will not be bothering this place again, no?"

"Alright then," Kallia answered resolutely. "Let's do it."

Zevran melded into the shadows while Kallia and Alistair drew their weapons and approached the door. Kallia knocked twice and waited.

"What's the password?" came a gruff voice from the other side of the door. Her eyes met Alistair's. He nodded and tightened his grip on his sword.

"The Griffons will rise again," she called through the door. The sound of the lock being turned met their ears and Kallia reached for the door handle.

.oO***Oo.

Kallia stood over the bodies of the bounty hunters. "We should remove the sign in the market place," she commented as she bent over to inspect the contents of one of the boxes nearby.

"Or you could leave it, my Warden," the crow suggested, handing her a piece of paper he'd found. The words _15 sovereign - Fighter Warden Supporter _and _5 sovereign - Non-Fighter Warden Supporter_ was listed out 6 or 7 times, each number added to the last.

"What is it?" Alistair asked, looking over Kallia's shoulder.

"It looks like some kind of ledger to keep track of how many bounties they'd collected... Zevran, why would I want to allow people to continue to walk into a trap?"

The elf smirked and tapped one of the bounty hunters with his toe, "It's hard to get caught in a trap that has already been sprung, my dear Warden."

Alistair saw the look of confusion on Kallia's face and jumped to explain, "It's like a mouse trap. Once a mouse has sprung the trap, another mouse could easily come by and steal the cheese without being harmed."

Kallia's frown only deepened. "Now that there is no one here to attack the people who come thinking they'll find friends there is a high chance that they actually _will_ find friends, my dear Warden," Zevran explained.

Comprehension lit Kallia's eyes and she nodded in understanding. "That makes sense," she commented quietly.

"Of course it does," Zevran replied as he made his way back towards the door. "Because I am totally awesome."


	36. Goldanna

_Oh, you're lucky. It almost didn't occur to me that it was Monday. _

_Thank you to Saskuke's Kanojo, Evalyne, alyssacousland, and TehDono for reviewing 35 :) Also thanks to avekay for reviewing 34 and Vivian Thomson for reviewing 26. And of course thank you to Eva for betaing._

_I'm sure this is a chapter you've all been __**dying**__ to read, I know I've been almost giddy for you to get to this point. _

_Anyway, enjoy!_

.oO***Oo.

Kallia and Alistair walked to the address indicated on the piece of paper. He froze across the street from the house he had found the day before. Kallia's presence did little to sooth his nerves as he stared at his sister's handwriting for the second time. "This is it," he whispered. "That one, there."

Kallia studied each of the houses in front of them since Alistair had given no indication of which one _that one_ was. Despite herself, Kallia found herself hoping it was the one with all of the kids. She couldn't get the time she had spent in Alistair's dream in the Fade out of her mind. He had looked so happy, surrounded by all those kids and she herself hadn't minded as they had all run up and clung to her skirt.

She had long since identified the dull ache in her chest when she thought about the children of the Tower. They way they always used to run to greet her, holding their arms up and wanting "Uppy" compared to the terrified way they had run to greet her the last time she'd seen them. She tried not to think about how nearly 100 had been reduced to 15.

"She could… be inside. Right now. It's so weird... I'm finally going to met her. My sister. It sounds so strange to say that . Sister. Ssssiiiissster," he said, pulling her out of her thoughts. She looked at him, then at the kids.

"Are you sure you don't want to do it alone?" she asked.

"Do I seem nervous? I am," he told her, his voice taking an unnaturally high tone. "I would really rather you come with me, if you're willing… that is. Or we could leave, I mean we really don't have time for a proper visit…"

"Alistair…" she started, but a look of determination came over his face. He nodded resolutely and started walking towards the door muttering. _Let's just go._

Mangy let off a huff and Kallia reached down and scratched his ears. "Hush," she scolded lightly before following after her Templar.

He hesitated, his hand moving away from the door handle at the last second. "I've change my mind," he said and started to turn on his heel. "We should just leave."

But Kallia could see that it was just nerves that made him say that so she reached up and grabbed the door handle and opened it. Sheer terror flashed over his face for a moment as she walked through the door, but he quickly regained himself and followed her through.

"Hello?" Kallia called out a blonde woman (eerily similar to the woman Alistair had dreamed of) walked out of a back room wiping her hands on an apron tied around her waist. It was known that Templars forced their connection to the Fade to be unnaturally large for a non-mage. But the ability to pull someone's looks you've never met before from thin air and to be that accurate... She made a mental note to look into it the next time she was at the Tower.

"If your 'ere for laundry, I charge three bits a bundle. An' don' listen to tha' Natalia woman, she's foreign an' she'll rob ya blind," the woman spoke as she neared them.

"Eh, no," Alistair laughed a little hysterically. "We're not here for laundry. I'm... Is your name Goldanna? If so then I may.. I mean I _am_... your brother," he finished with a small, hopeful smile.

The woman seemed stunned for a moment. Kallia could tell Alistair's nervousness grew but so had his hopefulness. Every second she remained silent was another second she didn't reject him.

But then the woman's face darkened and her eyes narrowed.

"My _what?" _she all but shrieked. " 'ow do you know my name? What sor' o' stunt are you tryin' to pull?"

"No... No stunt!" Alistair tried to explain. Kallia didn't need to ask him if he was sure this was her. Mangy had taken one sniff of the woman and informed her that there was no uncertainty that this was Magic Knight's sister. "Our mother was a scullery maid in the castle and-"

"You! They tol' me you was dead," she sneered.

"Dead?" Alistair's hopeful smile shattered as he suddenly realized that she wasn't receiving him with the open armed acceptance he'd thought she would..

"Yes, dead. They tol' me the babe died along side Mother. I tol' them et was the king's an' they gave me a gol' coin to shut me mouff. Tha' coin didn' las' long though, did et?"

"The babe didn't die. I'm him. I'm your brother," Alistair told her, the hopeful tone creeping back into his voice, but the woman just scoffed.

"Pfft! For all the good et does me, you killed Mother, you did!"

"That's hardly Alistair's fault, is it?" Kallia finally interrupted, seeing Alistair either unable or unwilling to defend himself.

"An' 'oo the bloody 'ell are you? Some knife-eared 'arlot to carry 'is bags and warm 'is bed?"

The insult had more of an effect on Alistair then it did on Kallia. "Don't talk to her like that! She's my friend and a Grey Warden… Like me," Kallia could hear the tiniest hope that being a Grey Warden would earn this woman's respect but the elf was not blinded by the hope that her Templar was. She knew it would not.

"Well far be it from me to talk to someone so 'igh and migh'y. I don't know you, _boy,_" she spat the word as she sneered at him. "Your royal father forced 'imself on me mother and took her away from me. They tricked me good, I should 'ave tol' everyone. I've got five mouffs to feed and unless you can 'elp with tha' I've got no use for you."

"I-I'm sorry… I don't know what to say…" he stuttered out, looking to Kallia with a pleading expression hoping she would know what to do. She subtly reaching into her coin pouch and pulled out several coins, pressing them into Alistair's hand. The Templar's face registered surprise for a moment before offering the coins to Goldanna. "Here, I know it's not much but…"

The woman scoffed at his offering, though she took the coins just the same. "You, in your fancy armor, and this is all you can offer? You go to wha'ever people you run with and tell them you've got nieces a nephews who aren't livin' as they've a right to. Now get out."

.oO***Oo.

Mangy could tell his elf was furious. He didn't blame her for being angry, he was too. The woman that was related to the Magic Knight had insulted and threatened her and her pack. A small bubble of pride swelled in his chest at the fact that she was more angry about the insult to her pack than herself. Such was the sign of a good alpha proving Mangy had chosen well.

He growled at the woman, ready to defend the pack while she tended to the injured. He smelled no blood, but he had no doubt the Magic Knight was indeed hurt. The pain was coming off him in waves.

"Mangy," his elf called sharply as he fell into a crouch. He turned to look at her, confused. She shook her head and, though he didn't understand, he returned to her side. Even going so far as to nudge the Magic Knight to show his support. As she scratched his ears, he almost missed her near silent whisper of, "We'll deal with her later."

.oO***Oo.

Kallia closed the door behind her as she stepped onto the street. The thin walls of the woman's home provided little buffer to the yelling of the woman inside. Alistair didn't need to hear that. A few moments later, Kallia had attached a Silencing Spell to the wall's of Goldanna's home. If only she knew how to silence the woman's mouth instead of simply preventing the sound from reaching them.

Perhaps if Goldanna were forced to silence it would teach her to hold her tongue.

But if Alistair noticed the sudden silence, he gave no outward sign of it. He just stood there, staring at the door brokenly. "I don't…. I mean I thought… Isn't family supposed to accept you no matter what? Isn't that what family is?" he asked, looking at her. Pleading for her to give him the answers he needed.

Kallia hesitated for a moment before answering. "I don't know. All I know of family is what you've taught me," she told him.

He scoffed, "Bloody good teacher I make. What family do I have? A mother who died giving birth to me, a father who hid my existence from everyone he could, and a sister who wants nothing from me but gold."

Kallia felt her anger at the woman double. How dare she make Alistair feel so unwanted? But, unlike that harridan, Kallia knew how and when to hold her tongue. Instead she brought her hand up to his cheek and gave him a small smile. "I always thought I had no family because I had no blood kin, but you're the one that showed me that family is about more than blood. Because of you, I now see my family at the Tower for what they are."

Some of the brokenness went out of his eyes at her words. He had helped someone, because of him her life was better. But the fact that she now had a family only served to remind him that the only family he had that wanted him now lay dead at Ostagar. All massacred but himself and the elf standing in front of him.

And _she_ certainly wouldn't want him.

"No one wants me," he muttered quietly to himself and hung his head, resigned to his fate.

"From what you've told me Eamon certainly seems to. As does Teagan. And of course our merry band of misfits and lunatics is one big dysfunctional family. An odd one, but family nonetheless," Kallia told him, but it wasn't enough, he and she both knew she couldn't speak for any of them. "And then there's… me."

That caught his attention and his head shot up.

"You are family to me," she told him. Her lips pursed as she nodded her head once, she would take no protest. He was family.

"I think I just need to be alone for a while," he told her and turned to leave but stopped for a moment. "I'll see you at the tavern," it came out a cross between a plea and a question.

"Of course," she answered and he nodded silently and resumed walking away.

Kallia watched Alistair's back as he left. Once he was out of sight she turned her head to glare at the door behind her. Mangy let off a growl and Kallia rested her hand on his head. "No one threatens our pack," she muttered. Her eyes narrowed, "No one."


	37. Revenge

_Ah, such a fun weekend! I setup my Christmas tree, this is the first time I've been able to afford to put one up, so I'm excited. My mom and I surprised my sister by buying one for her since she couldn't afford to get one this year ^-^_

_On the other hand, my brother is no longer talking to me. His girlfriend isn't going to be able to pay for college next semester and he wants to leave the dorms and get an apartment with her. All of us are very against this (he's only 18, it's not his job to support her) but see if he listens to any of us. He thinks it's just that none of us like her (which we don't, but that's not the point). _

_Anyway, enough about my family drama :P So many wonderful reviews this week ^-^ Thank you to Omynos, amanda weber, Sannenschein, Sasuke's Kanojo, alyssacousland, and Bingham Vance._

_Anyway, I'll let you get to the story now, shall I? Hehehe bet you're eager to know what Kallia is going to do to Goldanna… *evil grin*_

.oO***Oo.

Kallia had locked the door to her and Morrigan's room. The witch had quirked an eyebrow at the action but otherwise remained silent and watched Kallia pull ingredients out of the many pouches around her belt.

She grabbed her mortar and pestle from her pack and began to mash the soap root leaves (instead of the roots) with the dried rock-barely. She mashed until a very pale blue, almost white, foam began to appear. When that happened she scraped the herbs and a thimble's worth of distilling agent into a flask before filling it up halfway and vigorously shaking it. The water in the flask began to change from blue to a milky green.

Kallia held out her palm facing up and summoned a small ball of fire, glad that she greatly improved her control over fire since she didn't have the equipment necessary to create a flame as hot as she needed. Granted she had never created a flame this hot with just her magic so it was probably a bad idea to be doing this inside...

It took every ounce of focus Kallia had to concentrate the heat from the fire in her hand, the ball slowly grew smaller and brighter, changing from orange to purple. Finally, just as the flame became uncomfortably warm, it was hot enough and Kallia held the flask an inch above the flame as she tried not to think about the warnings the nerves in her hand were giving her. Fire this hot was not meant to be held in one's hand.

But she ignored it as the potion lost its opaque quality and became a dark transparent green. As soon as it had reached the color she wanted she extinguished the flame and set the flask on a heat retardant cloth to cool and examined the damage to her hand. She was surprised when Morrigan was suddenly at her side with a cloth soaked in cold water. The witch looked away as she offered the cloth to Kallia.

Kallia reached for the cloth hesitantly, "Thank you."

Morrigan scoffed. "You should know better than to hold fire in your hand that long. You didn't even create the potion properly."

"No, I did it right," Kallia glanced at the flask sitting on the table. "It's not a cleaning potion."

"Oh?" the witch asked a bit too nonchalantly. "What is it then?"

"The opposite, it's an anti-" a knock at the door interrupted Kallia and caused both women to look at it in surprise.

" 'Tis your Templar," Morrigan stated, though both women already knew.

Kallia's eyes shot to the potion she'd been making, she didn't want Alistair to know her plans. Her panic must have shown on her face because Morrigan just deposited the cool cloth in Kallia's damaged hand and went to open the door a few inches. She planted her foot behind the door so Alistair couldn't open it more than she allowed him. Mangy let off a huff and moved to lie behind the door, knowing the witch didn't have the strength to prevent the door from opening further if Magic Knight tried to open it.

"She's naked. Go away," she told him coldly and tried to close the door. Alistair's foot slipped between the door and the frame preventing her from doing so, however.

"I'm not in the mood for this, Morrigan," his voice floated from the doorway.

"And I am not in the mood for you to be standing at my bedroom door, yet here you are. That you are not in the mood for it does not make it any less true."

"Morrigan-" the Templar started angrily but then cut himself off. He signed tiredly and finished instead, "Look, just tell her I need to talk to her, ok?"

"I'll be there in a few minutes, Alistair," Kallia called. As soon as Morrigan clicked the door shut behind him, the elf began trying to heal her burned hand. She half expected him to come banging back and demanding to know what she was healing and how she got hurt. When he didn't, she frowned and muttered, "Odd," under her breath but soon dismissed it. He was too caught up in his grief to notice anything else, most likely.

Once her hand was healed, Kallia glanced at the flask sitting on the table. It would need to cool for at least 10 more minutes.

.oO***Oo.

Kallia made her way over to her Templar as soon as she saw him sitting at the bar with a rather large mug of ale sitting in front of him. She sat next to him on the stool, though he gave no acknowledgement of her presence. "You were looking for me?" she prompted.

He was silent for a long moment before he finally said, miserably, "I can't help but wonder why I even went. I wasn't expecting her to be so…"

"You couldn't have known, Alistair," Kallia told him, remembering the kind woman he'd imagined that time in the Fade.

"I almost wish I hadn't given her any money. I know we don't exactly have a lot," he muttered and rested his head on his arms.

"We have enough. We'll get by without the few sovereigns we gave her," she told him. "You'll just have to do without the gold crown, your highness." Alistair raised his head and stared at her with a shocked expression. "What?" Kallia asked him, feeling like squirming under his gaze.

"You told a joke," he stated as a smile slowly crept onto his face. "A funny one. On purpose."

"I tell lots of jokes," Kallia huffed, slightly indignant.

"Not funny ones. And not on purpose," he replied with a smirk but the expression quickly fell and he looked back at the table. "Anyway, I wanted to thank you for being there after… For talking me down."

"That's what family does, right?" Kallia asked hesitantly.

"Not mine, apparently," he muttered. The air warmed and Kallia's chest puffed out in anger.

"Yes, well you have another family now. A better one. One that cares about you and doesn't want to see you miserable over a selfish harridan that needs to be taught some manners!"

Despite himself, he found it somewhat comforting to see her so upset on his behalf… You had to care about someone to get upset for them, right?

"Thank you," he told her. "You're a true friend and I…" he hesitated, unable to get the words he wanted out of his mouth. "You're a true friend, Kallia," the Templar finished instead.

"You could call me Kali, if you wanted," she told him. "The rest of our little family does."

"I.." he opened to speak, then shut it a few times, not really knowing how to respond. Calling her anything but her real name just seemed so intimate and despite all the time he spent around her, he felt his face flush. "Thank you, Kali."

Saying her nickname didn't feel as foreign as he thought it would instead it felt…_right_.

.oO***Oo.

On the way back to her room, Mangy suddenly became excited and began jumping around. "Do you see something interesting?" Kallia asked him. Mangy barked excitedly. Yes, yes he did and it would be useful. Should he go get it? The elf chuckled and waved him off, "Go on then," she told him and the dog darted off.

Morrigan was nowhere to be seen when Kallia got back to the room, but Kallia paid little mind to that and went straight to the flask. She removed the cork and held the opening to her nose only to jerk it away quickly as her nose scrunched in disgust. It smelled worse than she remembered. It would need to be watered down. She poured half the contents into a second flask and filled them the rest of the way with water.

Mangy pawed at the door at that moment, so she set the flasks down to open it for him, once again locking it after she shut it. He dropped what appeared to be a pile of dirty rags as her feet, so Kallia stooped to pick them up. An old, dirty pair of pants, a worn tunic, and a brown skirt.

They'd be perfect.

The elf slipped out of her robes and into the tunic and skirt then grabbed the flasks and pants and took them to the bathtub. After emptying the flasks over the pants she hung them over the edge to dry and went to the mirror. As she wove she spells around her to change her appearance the conversation she'd had with Zevran the day before floated to her mind.

"_You can change the way things appear, yes?" he had asked her. She must have frowned in confusion because the other elf chuckled and added, "Alistair is constantly asking you to make Morrigan's hair a hideous color. I assume you have the ability to do so or you would have told him you couldn't, my Warden."_

"_I can change the color of hair," she answered slowly. "I've never tried anything else."_

_Zevran smirked, "What about a card, could you make it appear to be a different card?"_

_Kallia instantly began thinking of the weaves necessary to do as he asked, "It would only need to last through the game so it wouldn't need to be a very secure weave… Yes, I think I could do it."_

_The assassin chuckled. "We shall show her what you are made of yet, my dear Warden," he told her and began making his way back to the table._

"_Zevran, wait," she called after him, when he paused and looked at her she held up the string he had given her. "What's this for?"_

"_To disguise the movement of your fingers so she doesn't realize you are… weaving," he smirked as he told her and they both made their way back to the table._

As Kallia tucked the last thread of her spell into place she studied herself in the mirror. Her hair had faded to a light silver, her skin had sagged and wrinkled, her eyes had clouded, and her form now stood hunched. She cocked her head to the side and stared. So this is what she would look like in her old age.

If she reached it.

She glanced down at Mangy when he bumped her hand with his head and informed her that she was his elf and he had every intention of making sure she looked old and wrinkled like this one day _without_ the help of magic. She smiled sadly and scratched his ears. "That is a great many years, Mangy," she replied, blinking in surprise as the voice that came from her mouth was not her own. It was deeper, almost seeming to crack with her faked old age. "But I appreciate the thought."

The braids were too recognizable, she decided, so she reached up and removed the ties then ran her fingers through them leaving her loose silver hair to cascade down her back. Kallia grabbed her staff from where it leaned against the wall. As she continued to look over herself, she was glad that her staff looked like little more than a gnarled old branch she had grabbed from the side of the road.

"What do you think, Mangy?" she asked him. He jumped and barked happily then ran to the door and sat down. Kallia chuckled, grabbed the pants, and opened the door.

Two steps down the hallway, Alistair turned the corner in front of her. He seemed lost in thought and was paying little mind to anything around him so Kallia attempted to make herself as small and quiet as possible trying not to attract his attention. Mangy even curled his toes back as well as he could to prevent his sharp nails from clacking on the floor.

This did little good, however, as Alistair tripped over his own feet and knocked her over, only just managing to turn himself so he didn't crush her.

"Andraste's knickers! I'm sorry!" he exclaimed and he scampered to his feet, picking her up and placing her on her feet. "You're not hurt, are you?"

"I'm fine," she told him and waved his hands off.

"Are you sure? I could-"

Kallia only just stopped herself from saying his name, "Stop fussing," she snapped, her nerves that he would recognize her were beginning to get to her. Alistair's hands immediately dropped to his side. "You have not injured me, I am _fine_," she repeated to him.

"But you're so old!"

Kallia couldn't help it; she threw back her head and laughed. "Get back to your room, young man," she had to fight a smile at the words, she was fairly certain Alistair was older than her. "I have somewhere to be."

She turned away, still chuckling… It never occurred to her to wonder why he didn't feel the magic and recognize her.

.oO***Oo.

"Go Mangy, she'll recognize you," Kallia told the mabari. She gripped her staff tightly and opened the door.

"What the bloody 'ell do you want, you knife-eared crone?" came a screechy voice to her left.

"To reach an age as old as this is a gift, my dear," Kallia informed her as she hobbled into the room.

"The gift of old age is worth nothing to me, old woman. It will not put food in my children's mouths or put clothes on their backs. If you don't have any washing to be done, get out."

Kallia reached under her arm and brought out the pants. "I want to have these washed," Kallia told her. As she held the pants out to the human, she allowed her hand to shake slightly. The woman took the pants with a disgusted look.

"Eight bits, knife-ears," Goldanna told her and, though Kallia had to wonder if the increase in price was because of the state of the pants or because she was an elf, she reached into her coin purse and withdrew the eight copper pieces. She would certainly get her money's worth when Goldanna tried to clean them anyway.

When the human reached for the coins, Kallia's other hand shot out far quicker than she thought herself capable of, she pulled the woman down so she could whisper in her ear.

"Someone should cut out that tongue of yours. You should be wary who you anger, human; there are dangers out there far worse than I," she warned in a gravelly voice.

And then she was gone before shock even had time to register on Goldanna's face, leaving only eight copper pieces and a pair of dirty, old pants, and a silencing spell (as a gift to the harridan's neighbors) as proof that she'd even been there at all.


	38. A Promise Made

_I bought a new car! I was hoping my old car would last another year, but that just wasn't in the cards and I bought a new one! And it is sooo awesome, I've never had a __**new**__ car before. New to me, yes. New new, no. _

_Anyway, reviews. Thanks to Raven Jadewolfe, avekay, alyssacousland, Alistair'sFan123, and Sasuke's Kanojo for reviewing this week._

_Happy Holidays!_

.oO***Oo.

Kallia turned to watch as the city guards closed the gate behind her companions and her. She was reminded, suddenly, of leaving the Tower. Denerim had been loud and crowded, distracting her from the comforting feeling of the fact that there were walls surrounding her. But as the gates of the city closed behind her she remembered the looks on Greagoir and Irving's faces as the doors of the Tower had been closed behind her then.

She hadn't felt this vulnerable and exposed since that day.

Mangy let off a ferocious growl and a bark and Kallia saw the confusion flit across her companions faces as they looked around to see what was upsetting him. The elf just smiled; she was the only one who understood his meaning. His promise that she would one day be an old, wrinkly elf… that he would to protect her to the end. She chuckled sadly as she reached down to scratch his ears and whispered, "I know you will."

She heard Alistair sigh loudly and turned to look at him but he was staring at the sky. She looked up, trying to see what he was seeing.

"It's going to rain sometime today," he told her. "We should get as far as we can then set up camp."

She nodded and they began walking. Kallia frowned as she looked around her, however. The trees which had all been green when they entered the city, were now all yellows, reds, and oranges. Though she trusted Alistair's sense of direction (he seemed to have an uncanny ability to know where _everything_ was in Ferelden and what roads they needed to take to get there) surely he had to be going the wrong way? Was she the only one that noticed the road looked nothing like the one they had come on?

But it seemed she _was_ the only one who noticed something was wrong.

Leliana was throwing a stick for Mangy on the path ahead of them. Zevran was trying to convince Morrigan to have sex with him (and apparently found the threat of being stabbed in the face a turn on), and Wynne had knitting needles in her hands and a thick strand of dark wool came out of a pouch at her waist. Kallia had to smile as this brought to mind the scene at the dinner table the night before.

Sten had sat holding the skein of dark wool while Wynne had wound it into a center-pull cake. Though his face held almost no expression, if you looked close enough you could see the tiniest smile on his face at the small furball that had continuously launched itself after the string. Everyone looked the other way later that night as Sten had laid out several of his coins on the bar to buy milk for the creature.

When they passed a small cave, they decided to take shelter and wait out the storm. It was fairly obvious that this cave was used often, there was a firepit set up in the center and a pile of wood off to the side. Just the same, Alistair checked the back of the cave for bears.

Kallia stood at the mouth of the cave, studying the landscape around her. "Is there a problem, Kali?" Leliana asked as she came to stand beside her.

"Alistair's sense of direction has never led us wrong before," she told the bard.

Amusement lit Leliana's eyes, "You think it is now?"

"This is not the road we came on."

"All roads in Ferelden eventually meet one of two and those meet up about a day's journey from Denierm. There is only one road, Kali, we cannot be going the wrong way."

"But it doesn't look the same," Kallia stamped her foot in frustration.

Leliana frowned, "Do you know nothing of how the world changes with the seasons?"

"The Tower itself has remained unchanged since before the Circle even existed. There are no _seasons_ in the world of a Tower Mage," Kallia replied. Leliana opened her mouth to explain, but the sound of Wynne attempting to drive Alistair away from the cooking pot drew both women's attention and the topic was forgotten.

.oO***Oo.

"Grey Warden!"

Kallia and Alistair froze. It was typically not nice people that addressed them by that title. They turned to see a merchant making his way towards them; one hand waving to get their attention the other pulling his cart of goods. Kallia and Alistair exchanged a look and wordlessly decided to wait for him. Though most of the companions set themselves up in defensive positions so that when the merchant finally did catch up, he would be surrounded.

The merchant made no reaction to the actions of her companions, Kallia guessed he probably didn't even realize the potential repercussions of those actions. She was learning to recognize the way a fighter moves and she was fairly certain this man was no fighter.

"You are a difficult woman to find, Warden," the merchant panted when he finally caught up.

"That's usually a good thing when you've been declared a wanted traitor with a bounty on your head," Alistair quipped from her side.

That merchant laughed, "That's true."

"Why were you looking for me?" Kallia prompted.

"Well you see, Duncan was a friend of mine. Well before Ostagar, he made me a promise. One that would help the Wardens too."

"Why look for me?" Kallia wondered. "Alistair is the senior Grey Warden..."

Levi laughed. "While Duncan often spoke highly of Alistair, he was also quick to point out his aversion to leading. If you run in the right circles to know the two of you are alive, those same circles will let you know you're probably the one leading, Warden," he explained.

"I told you Warden Commander suited you better," Alistair nudged her side.

"Yes, I command all one of the Wardens that are left," Kallia rolled her eyes. "What do you need me to do, Levi?"

"I've mapped out the caves that are the entrance to the Soldier's Peak, but they say the place is haunted. No one's been there since since the Wardens were banished a hundred years ago, no one that's come back anyway. I'm a merchant, not a fighter. I need you to go in a clear Sophia's name. It won't get back our lands or our titles but it will restore out honor. What do you say, will you help?"

Kallia hesitated. Technically, they really should focus on gathering allies for the Blight. Restoring the Peak could wait until the Blight was over. And they were on a time-sensitive mission, Eamon could begin to decline at any moment.

But on the other hand, it would be really nice to not have to worry about having somewhere to rebuild the Wardens _at _before she could begin recruiting people again. She didn't even think twice about the fact that she assumed she was the one that would be doing the rebuilding... If it really was just Alistair and her left, he'd made it abundantly clear that she would take command. As for Eamon… Well, it was her magic that was keeping his body from dieing without his spirit... she would know if he began to get worse.

"How far is it?" she asked and pulled out her map. He took it but arched an eyebrow at the child-like scribble Alistair had made for her.

"Why don't I give you a new map... I have an extra," he said slowly and handed her map back to her. After digging out a much nicer map (this one with city names, roads, rivers, and mountains marked on it) he pointed out their current location and the location of the Peak just to the north of them. "I'd say about two day's walk from here," he told her.

Kallia thought about it. She glanced over her companions. If she took the light-footed ones with her to the Peak and sent the other's on ahead to the Tower docks then her group would likely be able to catch up with them before they got there. She quickly catalogued her companion's advantages and disadvantages.

It was best to divide up their healers, Kallia herself was nowhere near as good as Wynne but she was good enough they could get by. Not to mention, as Alistair often pointed out, the other mage was much older and a constant fast pace would likely be harder on her… So Wynne would go on to the Lake. Sten was too slow, he would go on to the Lake. Leliana was fast so she'd go with Kallia. As was Zevran. If she was bringing Zevran that meant she had to bring Alistair or he would throw a fit.

So that put Sten, Wynne, and Morrigan in one group and Alistair, Zevran, and Leliana in the other. Sten, Wynne, and Morrigan weren't the best combination she could think of... Sten wasn't much of a team fighter, if they got into trouble he would do little to get the attention on himself if bad guys started attacking one of the mages.

Which meant she had to convince Mangy to go with them.

It was a workable plan, not one of her best by far but definitely not one of her worst either. Mangy grumped and whined, but in the end agreed to go with them so long as Alistair watched her extra carefully.

Levi indicated they had to follow the same road they were on for another few miles, so the whole party set off together. They'd only been walking for 15 minutes when Kallia watched Morrigan approach Alistair. She held back a groan. Now all she was going to hear about for the next three days was how mean Morrigan was.

"I have a wonder, Alistair, if you will indulge me."

"Like I have a choice," he gritted out.

"Well, Kallia brought up a good point, you know. You are the senior Grey Warden, are you not? I find it curious that you allow Kallia to lead while you follow," Morrigan's tone indicated she was quite pleased with herself.

"You find that curious, do you?" he sneered.

"In fact, you defer to a new recruit. I wonder if this is a policy of all Grey Wardens or a merely personal one."

Alistair sighed. "What do you want to hear? That I prefer to follow? I do. Besides, she seems to be doing a fine job. Why mess with a good thing?"

"You sound so defensive," she said with a delighted smile.

"Could you just go crawl in a bush somewhere and die? That'd be great, thanks," he sneered and crossed his arms. He slowed his walking, clearly intending to walk alongside Kallia and Levi. Morrigan did not allow this as she also slowed her walk. Just as she opened her mouth to make another crack at him, however, Alistair spoke instead. "I have an idea, let's talk about your mother."

Surprise registered on Morrigan's face for only an instant before the usual smirk was back in place, "But I would rather talk about _your _mother."

For an instant Kallia worried Morrigan knew what Alistair had told her before Redcliffe. She wasn't sure why the witch having this knowledge made her uncomfortable, but she found she was not happy with the thought of her knowing. Or anyone, really.

"Nothing to talk about," he answered offhandedly. "_My_ mother was a scullery maid. _Your_ mother is a scary witch who lives in the middle of a creepy forest... Much more interesting."

Kallia held her hand up to her mouth to hide a laugh at the pride he felt at having come up with that. Particularly since she'd found a note in his chicken scratch handwriting next to the fire with that very line written on it. Obviously he'd planned out what to say to Morrigan.

"To you, perhaps," the witch answered boredly. "Of course, you would find moss growing on a stone interesting."

"You know what's really interesting? Apostates. That's illegal you know," he smiled, quite pleased with himself. He didn't notice the slight furrowing of Kallia's brow. She had become so used to the twisted Veil that marked him a Templar, she'd almost forgotten he was one in anything but name. The thought had not occurred to her in weeks but the realization that he obviously still maintained some of the beliefs of a Templar was like a punch in the gut.

But Kallia shook her head to clear the thoughts from her mind. He was only saying that to get to Morrigan. He was her Templar and a few stupid comments said to Morrigan just to piss her off was not going to change that.

"Or we could not talk about your mother..." he let off a huff and made his way to Kallia's side instead, his arms crossed and a pout on his face. He was sulking.

She didn't have the opportunity to say anything to him, however, because at that moment Levi announced that this was where they parted. Kallia knelt and reminded Mangy to take care of Wynne and Morrigan but when the witch scoffed Kallia corrected herself, saying, "Ok then, just take care of Wynne, Morrigan can take care of herself."

It earned her a glare from the witch but the look on Alistair's face was well worth it.


	39. Because She Cares

_So how were everyone's holidays? I think they're all done now, right? Or at least all of the major ones that I know the date of our done :P Anyway, mine was good, lots of food and prezzies. My dad and I watched a Muppet Christmas Carol like we did when I was a kid ^-^ All in all I had lots of fun. The best part is, I have all week off :)_

_Thank you to timman94, Bingham Vance, Vivian Thomson, alyssacousland, Sasuke's Kanojo, Raven Jadewolf and Hanna5693 for reviewing ^-^_

_Anyway, I have a lot to do today so I'm going to keep this note short, Enjoy!_

.oO***Oo.

Kallia's group had been walking for about 30 minutes when they came to a large cave. Levi stopped and began digging through his cart muttering, "I know I have some torches in here somewhere."

"Don't bother," Kallia told him. She held out her hand and several brightly glowing wisps floated from her palm. "Sometimes, it's good to be born into sin with no hope of redemption," she commented lightly.

"Sin can be quite enjoyable, no?" Zevran laughed and moved close to her, wrapping an arm around her waist.

Kallia laughed as well, quickly spoiling the good mood she'd managed to get Alistair in. "Too bad you'll never know exactly how good it can be," she told the elf giving him a poke in the neck and smiled when the small amount of lightning sparking from her fingers made him yelp in surprise.

"Be careful in here," Levi warned them. "There are spiders and traps to watch out for. I think I've already sprung most of them, but there's always the chance of others."

Kallia nodded in understanding. "Alistair take point with Leliana. Leliana, you watch for traps. Levi, you go next, Zevran and I will take rear guard."

"I do so love taking rear guard. It always gives me such a lovely view!" Zevran replied with a mock salute.

.oO***Oo.

"Alistair, could I talk to you in private for a minute?" Kallia asked him after they'd set up camp for the night. He glanced over at her.

"Well, we're in camp, so now's as good a time as any I suppose, right?" he chuckled as he made his way over to her.

"Mmm, sneaking off alone after a long hard day of fighting and killing, Eh? It really gets the blood pumping, no?" Zevran laughed from the other side of the campfire. Alistair glared at him.

"No, we're sneaking off to make plans for your dastardly demise," Alistair huffed angrily, still sulking from the conversation he'd had earlier with Morrigan.

"Do I get a last request then?" The elf called after them with a smirk as the glow from the wisp following Kallia around began to dim.

"Don't wander too far," Levi warned.

Kallia and Alistair walked around the corner, still close enough they could yell for help or hear if the others did. "So, what did you want to talk about?" Alistair asked her. Kallia stood before him, a feeling of doubt she had not felt in some time fluttered in her stomach... The tiniest seed of doubt could cause your spell to falter. If you did not believe a shield would hold, it would not.

It was not her magic that she doubted, however. Those skills would do her no good here. No, it was her skills with people that had her questioning. There were no gifts given at the Tower, not only because there were no gifts to give but also because gifts were a sign of affection and affection meant attachment. The very thought of what she was about to do would have put her on the Tranquility list.

She'd only ever received one gift at the Tower besides the yearly robes the Chantry gave every mage. Her journal, from Irving. But that had not been a gift of affection, it had been a gift of congratulation. And it had been useful. This was a trinket, a meaningless token to anyone but Alistair.

Was it normal to be nervous?

"Is everything alright?" Alistair asked with a frown on his face, Kallia realized she must have been silent too long.

"Here," she finally told him, bringing the amulet out of her pouch and placing it in his hand. In her nervousness she grabbed a thread from the Veil and began fiddling with it, not actually casting a spell just twisting it around her fingers as any other person would a piece of string.

Confusion played over his features for a moment as he studied the object she had handed him before realization then surprise. "But this is... My mother's amulet... Where did you get it?" he asked with wonder.

"I found it in Eamon's study," she answered hesitantly. What if he questioned why it had taken her nearly a month to give it to him or why she had taken it in the first place?

But he didn't. Instead he just shook his head as though he thought this were some figment of his imagination. "I thought I'd lost this to my own stupidity. I thought it was destroyed..."

"Eamon had it repaired," Kallia brought the light wisp closer and released the thread of the Veil that she had been playing with to point out the much smaller seams left from her own repair. "See?"

"But why would he do that...?" Alistair asked, she could see his eyes were beginning to become misty.

"Perhaps you mean more to him than you think?" she offered. She didn't want to cheapen Eamon's effort at repairing it by admitting she had repaired it after he had. This was _his _gift to Alistair, admitting her part in it would only intrude.

"Do you think so?" He looked up at her with a hopeful expression, but then his face fell and he looked completely crushed. "All those times he came to visit... He probably..." Alistair trailed off and swallowed thickly. "He probably brought this with him to give me... Not that I would have given him the chance, belligerent as I was..."

Kallia reached up and brushed a stray tear that fell from his eye, it drew his attention back to her and he brought his own hand up to rest on her cheek.

"Thank you," he told her looking directly into her eyes. "No, I mean it. I'm so used to people tuning me out when I talk. Not listening, not caring..."

"I care," she told him hesitantly. "About you... I care," she added then suddenly seemed to get a burst of confidence and repeated, more resolutely, "I care about you." She nodded curtly as though to indicate that that was the end of the matter.

Alistair wasn't about to question her anyway. He felt a grin begin to split his face. It wouldn't sound like much to anyone else, but he knew what an admission like that meant coming from a mage. He wasn't just family, she _cared_ about him. She was going against everything she'd ever been taught.

For him.

Because she cared about him.

He couldn't help but notice the prideful way she was tilting her chin as though daring anyone to deny the truth of her statement put her at the perfect angle. He hesitantly took a step forward, knowing that she could probably kill him in an instant and he would do nothing to stop her.

But she wouldn't.

Because she cared about him.

His hand on her cheek moved backward to tangle in the hair at the nape of her neck. Her plaits were too tight, however, so he found his fingers slipping between her head and the braided bun instead. He couldn't help but notice that her expression had softened and there was a new light in her eyes. Maybe she wanted this as badly as he did.

"Kallia…"

"Kali," she reminded him gently without breaking eye contact.

"Kali," he repeated, her name coming out sounding more like a whispered prayer.

That one word gave him the courage he needed to lean down, relief flooded him as her eyes closed and her chin tilted just a smidge more. Their lips met and his own eyes closed as he felt her take a step closer as well.

Kallia's hand came up to wrap around the back of his neck as she lost herself to the kiss. She caught herself thinking this kiss was unlike any kiss she'd received at the Tower. All those kisses had been hungry as they were merely a prelude of what was to come. They were always selfish going by the belief that pleasing your partner was simply a means to which you pleased yourself. They held no emotion beyond lust and promised nothing beyond the physical pleasure of the moment. Nothing more.

No, this kiss… This kiss was soft and innocent, asking for nothing but offering a lifetime of dedication in return. He poured every ounce of affection he held for her into it, promising to stand by her side for an eternity and to use his every last breath to make her happy.

All of that in one kiss.

Because he loved her.


	40. Frigid Waters

_I hope everyone had a happy new year :) Unfortunately I didn't really get much writing done over my break… Well I did only little sections that don't have a full chapter around then yet and you won't see for months -_-;_

_Today is my first day back at work, I had to set an alarm and everything (I don't usually use an alarm). Of course this is the one night my cat decided to be a little shit and not go to sleep. So when I heard my alarm I decided I set it too early and could sleep for another 20 minutes. Which turned into an hour and 20 minutes. So I rushed to work, skipping my coffee, getting there an hour late… and __**still**__ beat everyone else to work… Go me? o.O_

_Anyway, I take it the kiss was a success? Everyone certainly seemed to enjoy it so I'll take that as a good sign. Thank you to alyssacousland, asteracaea, Raven Jadewolfe, Altair'sFan123, Evalyne, Sasuke's Kanojo, and Bingham Vance for reviewing :)_

_A couple of weeks ago someone asked me what voice I use for Kallia and I can't remember if I responded or not. I thought I had but I suddenly get the feeling that I didn't. Either way it seemed like something a lot of you would be wondering anyway. Originally, I wrote Kallia with the Sultry voice but then as her character developed and her personality became a bit more defined I stopped using the Sultry voice when I heard her in my head and instead I heard her with the…What was it called? Experienced or Wise or something like that?_

_Anyway I hope that helps you hear her in your mind too ^-^_

_Enjoy!_

.oO***Oo.

Leliana watched her two friends disappear around the corner then glanced at the remaining elf. She shot her hand out and grabbed his ear just as he was about to slip into the shadows to follow them.

"Leave them be," she ordered without releasing his ear, she used her other hand to flip the spider legs she had set up on a grill over the fire.

"I am merely concerned for the safety of our fearless leader, yes?" he informed her, crossing his hands over his heart and looked very serious. Leliana tilted her head to the side, trying to decide if he was actually concerned since every time the young couple had gone off alone, one of the two usually returned upset.

"No," she replied when she couldn't discern his intentions, "You want to snoop." She released his ear so she could dig into her pack for her spices.

"Ah, my dear Leliana, you have hurt my ear so badly where you grabbed it, I think I might cry," he told her dramatically. "Might I rest my head on your bosom?"

"Not even if you were the last man in all of Thedas. They deserve a few moments of privacy, Zevran. Leave them be," she ordered again over her shoulder, hoping that neither of them came back upset this time.

They were the glue that held their group together, the bond that turned a bunch of random misfits and rejects into a cohesive party. When Kallia and Alistair fought, everything started to become undone. The bard was surprised to find Zevran sitting on a log staring into the fire when she look back over her shoulder, she was certain he would have disobeyed and followed the two Wardens anyway.

Leliana observed him carefully for a moment. The crease to his brow, the slight frown on his face. It was a rare instance where the mask he kept in place seemed to slip.

"I have watched the Warden," he started. "She is not overly trusting of people she does not know."

"Is that surprising? Everyone she grew up with could either become an abomination in the blink of an eye or would kill her for one wrong move," Leliana answered.

"I know this," he answered, remembering the story Wynne had told them while Kallia slept at the Tower. He'd managed to gather the dagger she had given her Templar held some significance, though nothing had been said about its use at the time. "I do not understand. She does not trust easily, yet she was willing to bargain with her life that I would not betray her after talking to me for 10 minutes. Why?"

"That is something you have to ask her yourself, I'm afraid. My guess is as good as yours, Zevran," the bard answered. The elf nodded and seemed like he was gathering his thoughts to say more but the sound of people approaching had the mask up in an instant.

When two very red-faced Wardens made their way into the light of the fire, Zevran sauntered up to the young Templar and wrapped his arm around his shoulder as best he could despite the height difference. "It seems the Warden has stolen our dear Templar's virtue after all, Leliana," he commented as though that had been the topic of their conversation. "Come, my friend, you must give me details, yes?" he leaned in conspiratorially and whispered loudly, "They say a skilled mage can use her magic to extend the pleasure, my friend. Tell me, I must know if this is true."

The redness in Alistair's face darkened and Leliana announced that the spider's legs were done to save him from embarrassment while she and Kallia laughed at his expense.

.oO***Oo.

"Be careful when you go around this turn," Levi called to Leliana and Alistair. He needn't have warned them, they could easily hear the slow trickle of water flowing. "It's quiet cold. Snowmelt and all that..." he told them.

"What's the ground like under the water?" Alistair asked.

"Shallow enough for us to wade through, careful though there are sudden ledges and holes that can be quiet deep," Levi answered. Alistair, Leliana, and Zevran both began removing their armor and putting it in their packs, not wanting to ruin it in the water or risk falling into one of the holes and having it weigh them down. Everyone was very grateful at the moment for the charms on their packs that made them so much lighter.

"Levi, why don't you go first since you know where the holes are," Kallia said. The merchant nodded and began making his way across the slow-flowing river without his cart. Leliana followed him then Alistair, then Kallia and finally Zevran.

"It's freezing!" Alistair whined. "Kali, how are you the only one not shivering?"

"I'm a mage. Magic regulates my body temperature to a certain extent... If I'm careful I should be able to..." She trailed off as she focused and the water around all of them warmed.

"Soo... if magic keeps you warm, why do you always heat your bathwater...?" Alistair asked.

"And how would you know she does that, my dear Alistair?" Zevran asked. "Tsk tsk, it would seem your Templar's a bit of a pervert, my Warden." He got to a particularly difficult part to navigate and looked down at his feet to watch his step.

"No, no, no, no!" Alistair insisted over his shoulder. "I feel you manipulating the Veil, I'm not... I mean, I don't...you know..."

"Watch?" Zevran finished. "And why ever not, my dear friend Alistair? Have you never wondered what bountiful treasures exist beneath that horridly obstructive outfit?"

"No, I haven't," Alistair said petulantly. Unfortunately, this reminded him that he didn't really _need_ to wonder as it brought a certain memory from just before Redcliffe to his mind. That coupled with the kiss they had shared the night before had his imagination running wild.

"Then you are either blind or gay, my de-" Zevran glanced up and frowned when he saw Alistair's back. "Ah, we appear to have a bit of a problem," he said as he glanced side to side.

"You better not be looking at what I think you're looking at!" Alistair snapped without looking back.

"We seem to be missing a certain female Warden."

Alistair was on him in a second. "What did you do with her?" he demanded.

Zevran's eyes narrowed, "I did nothing. Perhaps your time would be better spent finding her since I assume she cannot breathe under water, no?"

Alistair's eyes went wide with realization. Shock and fear kept him rooted to the spot (hands still gripping Zevran's shirt) as his head swiveled around looking for any sign of his mage.

Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on who's point of few you're looking from) right at that moment Kallia could no longer hold her breath and released the last bit of air she had left in her lungs as she clung desperately to the rocky edge.

Her foot was caught in a small crevasse but no matter how hard she tugged she couldn't get it free. The next thing she knew Alistair was there, hands on her leg, tugging right alongside her. When he noticed her movement slowing, without thinking about it he pressed his lips to hers, used his tongue to open her lips, and exhaled. The air gave her a few more moments of consciousness.

In his desperation to get her loose Alistair found a rock and started furiously hitting the other rock then with it. One last hard tug, the water around her ankle turned red but her leg was freed. He watched her struggle for a moment before realizing she didn't know how to swim. He looped his arms under hers in an instant and swam for the surface.

She was unconscious by the time they reached it. Without a word, Leliana took hold of her while Alistair scrambled out of the hole the mage had fallen into. Once out, the Templar picked her up and carried her to the shore as quickly as he could. Zevran found her pack near the edge of where she'd gone under and made his way after the Templar.

Alistair laid her on the ground and Leliana looked over her. "Blood and damnation," she muttered, "She's not breathing." Seeing Alistair's expression, she looked to Zevran.

"Don't look at me," he replied. "I'm an expert on taking life, not giving it."

Leliana turned to Alistair. He was staring at Kallia's unmoving chest as though willing it to move would make it so. "Alistair!" She snapped. His eyes shot to her face though they still had a dazed, begging expression. "Pinch her nose, tilt her chin up, and breathe air into her," she commanded, though she had no doubt this was something he already knew how to do. He stared for a moment while he processed her words but once he had a clear set of instructions he was spurred to action.

It took several tries but after a minute Kallia suddenly jerked and began coughing water out of her lungs. Reacting out of instinct, Alistair grabbed her and hugged her to him.

"Why didn't you tell us you can't swim, you fool woman?" he asked.

"I don't… know what… that is..." she croaked out.

He clutched her to him harder until she suddenly stiffened in his arms and struggled to get away.

"My pack!" she cried and she scrambled towards the water's edge.

"Have no fear for we have rescued that as well, my dear Warden," Zevran told her, indicating the bag at his feet. "Though I'm afraid it is somewhat wetter than the last time you saw it."

Kallia didn't seem to care as she dug through the bag, pulling out item at random and tossing aside until she found the item she was looking for. She grabbed the small book the others had come to recognize as her journal and flipped through a few pages to check they weren't damaged. She had never tested the waterproofing charm Irving had placed and, upon seeing that it worked, she closed her eyes and hugged the journal to her chest just as Alistair had done to her only moments before. For an instant, her companions could have sworn they saw a tear escape her eye, but there were so many other drops of water on her face it was quickly dismissed.

"Why don't we rest here for a bit to dry off before we continue? It'll only get colder as we get near the exit and it wouldn't be a good idea to be soaking wet as that happens," Levi offered.

"We really don't have time..." Kallia replied with a frown but trailed off when she noticed Alistair fighting a shiver. She pursed her lips and wiggled her fingers, a warm fire spring up near her Templar and he gratefully scooted closer to the heat it put out. Leliana giggled at the Kallia's quick change of heart, but all of them were soon sitting next to the fire alongside him.

Kallia sitting slightly closer to Alistair than necessary.


	41. Forgiven

_Happy anniversary! Today is the one year anniversary of when Stars was first published as a oneshot. I was going to give you two chapters this week… but you're getting kinda close to where I'm currently stalled :P So I suppose I'll leave it up to you. _

_Take a chapter now and risk missing one later or don't take an extra now. _

_Let me know in your reviews. _

_Speaking of reviews, thank you to Raven Jadewolfe, alyssacousland, and Sasuke's Kanojo for reviewin the last chapter. _

_Enjoy the next one!_

.oO***Oo.

Kallia took several steps outside the cave and froze. Alistair and Leliana watched her with expectant expressions as she looked around her.

"I don't understand..." she frowned.

The two humans laughed. "What don't you understand, Kali?" Leliana asked with a teasing smile.

"I see the ice, but I can't see the magic that's making it... Where is it coming from?"

"How is it you know what rain is but not snow?" Alistair asked with a chuckle.

Kallia shrugged, "It rained a lot on the way to Ostagar. Duncan explained it to me."

"This is just rain that froze on the way down from the clouds," Leliana told her and ran out into the snow.

"It comes from the sky..." she repeated quietly to herself. Kallia held a hand out and watched the snowflakes as they melted as soon as they hit her palm.

She was so caught up in watching she didn't notice Alistair lean down to grab a handful of snow and pack it into a hard snowball. When Kallia turned to face him with a delighted smile on her face, she got a face full of snow. She stilled, seemingly unsure of what to do, but laughed when another white snowball came flying out of the lowest branch of the tree to her left and hit him in the face as well.

She heard the telltale giggle of a certain redhead that told her exactly who was on the branch. Then there was a sheik as a sufficiently bundled up Zevran suddenly appeared behind the bard and dropped a handful of snow down the back of her armor. Kallia saw Alistair building another snowball and mimicked his actions. She threw the ball at Zevran's head but it missed him entirely and hit the trunk of the tree instead. When he looked over to tease her about her poor aim, Alistair threw his ball and easily hit him in the head. He lost his footing on the icy branch and landed next to Leliana.

Soon all of the companions were running around, shrieking and laughing with white balls of snow flying everywhere. When they had all collapsed together from exhaustion, Levi came out from the treeline with an armful of branches.

Kallia saw him and sat up. "We have delayed your request even further, it seems," she told him. Alistair had come to realize that was as close to an apology as the other man would get.

Levi chuckled. "Oh its fine, I'm guessing you don't get much of a chance to have fun," he commented as he gathered more firewood so he could build a fire. When it was built he glanced up at the keep, "Besides, it'll be dark soon. Wouldn't want to approach that place at night anyway," he shuddered at the thought. Kallia made a non-committal noise in the back of her throat and plopped back down.

Right onto Alistair's chest.

It hadn't been intentional but now that it was done, she found herself unwilling to move and since he didn't seem to mind either (if the fact that his arm wrapped itself around her waist was anything to go by) she remained in place.

Leliana giggled at their actions but stood up soon after and grabbed her bow and arrows. "I'll see if I can catch us some dinner," she told them and left.

Kallia didn't seem to hear as she just turned over to lay on her side. Her hand came up and began scraping at the armor on his chest, trying to find something to grab onto but not finding anything. Alistair chuckled and moved Kallia off him, standing so he could reach over to his side to undo the buckles.

"Why does my armor have _sooo many_ buckles?" he whined.

"Because, my dear friend Alistair," Zevran commented. "The more buckles, the tighter the armor. The tighter the armor, the fewer chinks. The fewer chinks," a dagger seem to materialize in the elf's hand and he pressed it to Alistair's side through a chink just hard enough to let the human know that he _could_ kill him at that moment if he so choose. "The less likely you are to end up dead, my friend," the elf finished. Zevran withdrew the dagger, placing it back wherever he'd pulled it from. He smirked as he sauntered off to set up his own bedroll.

Alistair's eyes widened for an instant then narrowed in barely suppressed fury. He ran over to Kallia and shook her shoulders. "The evil assassin tried to kill me!" he told her the instant her eyes opened.

She squinted at him with bleary eyes, still in the process of waking up. "Huh?" she asked.

"He tried to kill me!" he told her again. She shot up, instantly awake with lighting sparking on her hand.

"Who?" she asked, scanning the area for the supposed bad guy.

"The evil assassin," he told her.

"The evil...? Oh," she dispelled the lighting and laid back down, closing her eyes. "No, he didn't."

"Yes, he did!" Alistair insisted.

Kallia sighed. "Zevran, stop trying to kill Alistair," she said patronizingly.

"I was simply pointing out a chink in your Templar's armor, my dear Warden. We wouldn't want for him to get hurt from ignorance, no?" Zevran said with a smirk.

"He pointed it out with a dagger!" Alistair yelled.

Kallia sighed again and rubbed her hand over her eyes. "Zevran don't point out the chinks in Alistair's armor with a dagger, sword, arrow, stick, needle, or any other object which can be described as sharp or pointy in any way, shape, or form. Alistair, stop yelling and let me sleep," she told them in her best no-nonsense-mother voice.

"What about _two_ daggers? Can I use _two _daggers to point out the chinks in his armor?" Zevran asked.

Kallia flipped over and turned her back to them, effectively ending the conversation. "Blight blast it, not even the children at the Tower were this bad," she mumbled quietly to herself. "I feel like a sodding mother with way too many children at my skirts..."

"But-" Alistair started but at that moment Leliana come walking through the trees slowly, looking dazed. He frowned, "Leliana? You ok?" he asked. Her eyes slowly moved until they came to rest on him.

"What?" she asked slowly. And just as any good mother, Kallia was instantly awake when one of her children was in trouble.

"Leliana, what happened?" she asked the bard.

"I think I'm going crazy..." she redhead answered. Kallia and Alistair shared a look, both thinking the same thing, _**Going?**_"I walked into a clearing and then suddenly there were castle guards everywhere but they couldn't see me... And..." Leliana's brow furrowed.

Kallia signaled Alistair with her eyes to take the animal in the other woman's hands. "It's ok, Leliana. Why don't we go take a nice hot bath?" Kallia suggested.

The bard nodded slowly and allowed Alistair to take the hare. Kallia led the bard into the forest to a nearby stream they had found during the snowball fight. She heated the water and the two women removed their clothes and climbed in. The difference in Leliana was immediate. She instantly relaxed and leaned her head back against the stone.

"So, you never did answer Alistair's question. If magic keeps you warm why do you heat your bathwater?" Leliana asked, then moaned and closed her eyes, "Although I suppose I can understand wanting hot water so how about this, Why do you use blankets?"

Kallia thought for a moment then shrugged. "I don't really know. As a child, Jowan would..." she trailed of sadly and looked at her hands. "He would always wrap me in a blanket when the Templar's stories scared me," she finished quietly. Leliana opened her eyes and lifted her head.

Their fearless leader looked so small, sitting there fingering an old scar her friend had accidently given her. The young bard suddenly realized she had no idea how old the elf was. She had assumed her to be 28 or 29 because of the way she acted and had responded to the responsibility placed on her shoulders, but looking at her now, Leliana realized there was no way the mage could be that old.

But rather than changing the subject to ask her age (as it's very rude to ask any woman her age, though she doubted Kallia would care), she took one look at the young mage's face and said, "You aren't mad at him anymore."

Kallia's face contorted with anger. "But I should be!" she said angrily. "I should hate him, I should have left him to his fate. I shouldn't have let him out of that cage at Redcliffe, I shouldn't have snuck into Irving's office and destroyed his phylactery, I shouldn't have forgiven him!"

Leliana held back a hiss of pain as the water became a bit warm for comfort. She wasn't about to give up her slightly too warm spot for the frigid air yet though. "Why?"

Kallia stared at her in surprise. "Why... what?"

"Why shouldn't you have forgiven him?"

"Because..." Kallia trailed off as she tried to come up with reasons.

"Because he left you to your death at the Tower?" Leliana prompted, she didn't wait for Kallia's answer before she spoke again. "Zevran outright tried to kill you but you forgave him."

"That's different, Zevran was _hired _to kill me. Jowan _chose _to leave me to my death," Kallia answered

Leliana nodded her head in mock understanding, "Understandable, but you realize that forgives Jowan for trying to kill Eamon. Since he was hired to do it."

Kallia looked down at her hands for a moment, before she looked back up with the anger in her eyes again. "He's a blood mage! That's an offense punishable by-"

"Oh yes of course," Leliana interrupted. "Because you put so much faith in everything else the Chantry says." She got an exaggeratedly thoughtful expression on her face, "And of course there was that blood mage at the Tower you let escape... or at least you allowed her to _try _to..." Her face became serious and she looked the young elf in the eye. "So not the blood magic thing then."

"He lied to me, he said he wasn't a blood mage when he was," Kallia said finally. It was her last argument and she got the feeling Leliana would easily poke a hole in that just as easily as she had the others.

"Yet you lie to Alistair all the time."

"I do not!" Kallia responded in shock.

"Yes, you do. Did you think no one noticed you have nightmares that he's blocked out and that when he asks you how you slept the next morning, you don't tell him? Or how, after Redcliffe, you convinced him that killing Isolde was the best option when you were still struggling with it?" Kallia looked down at her hands. It had never really occurred to her how much she lied to Alistair. "Why _do_ you lie to him? Is it because you don't trust him? I don't think that's it because if it was, you'd still flinch every time he moved his hand towards his sword. If you still saw him as just a Templar, you wouldn't have gotten that look on your face when I explained to you the significance of a rose. You would not have come back to camp last night looking so thoroughly kissed. So obviously you trust him and see him as more than just a Templar. Tell me, Kali, why _do_ you lie to him?"

It was obvious to Kallia that Leliana already knew the answer to her question, she simply wanted her to say it. "To protect him," she whispered.

"So perhaps your Jowan lied to you for the same reason...?"

Kallia's eyes went wide as this had never occurred to her. She'd spent her whole live protecting Jowan, helping him to avoid trouble when she could and mitigating the damage when she couldn't. It had never occurred to her that Jowan might actually protect her in return. That he might ever _need_ to.

Leliana closed her eyes again and rested her head back against the rock she sat against. The two women were quiet for several minutes until the sound of Alistair's yelling floated to them from camp. Kallia sighed and got out of the water, "I'd best go back before we end up with a dead assassin or Templar..." She bent over to grab her sleeping tunic and put in on but paused as she stood up. "Leliana?" she questioned.

The bard didn't open her eyes and just responded with a, "Hmm?"

"What's swimming?"

"What?" the bard finally opened her eyes to look at the mage.

"Swimming. Earlier, Alistair asked me why I didn't tell him I don't know how to swim but I don't even know what that is," Kallia explained.

"Oh, knowing how to swim is knowing how to move in water," the bard explained. "How to keep your head above water. How to move forward, backward, up, and down.

"In Orlais, the nobles build these things called pools, it was like having their own private lakes but the water is so clear and blue you can see right to the bottom. They had the most beautiful images tiled into the bottom of their pools... Lady Cecile allowed me to learn to swim in her pool when I was younger, she said it would be foolish for me not to know how to swim since I worked so close to the water for her. One year, the style of swimsuit was to spread on these waterproof paints. It took hours and you couldn't wear clothes because you risked rubbing the paint off."

Kallia scoffed. "Why not just swim naked?"

"Oh no! It wouldn't be proper to show that much skin!"

"You humans have such an odd sense of modestly."

Leliana laughed. "Go on, back to your Templar. I'll finished up my bath and join you."

Kallia nodded, put her tunic on, and walked away from the bard. The redhead smiled at Kallia's lack of protest to the use of "your" being attached to Alistair. Her smile quickly faded however and her eyes turned to a shadow in the trees she had noticed earlier.

"You are not as good at hiding as you think, Ser Assassin," she called. When she got no response she eyed the spot carefully. Realizing her mistake when she caught flicker of movement behind her in the reflection of the water, her hand shot back and grabbed figure. A quick jerk had Zevran landing in the water with a splash.

"This looks bad, yes?" he laughed."But it is not what you are thinking."

"Oh?" Leliana asked with an arched eyebrow.

"I am nothing worse than an... ah, what is the Orlesian term? A Peeping Tim," he smirked playfully.

"Peeping _Toms,_" she corrected as she climbed out of the water and pulled a towel around herself, "Do not set up decoys and then sneak up on the women they are watching."

Genuine confusion covered the assassin's face and Leliana's eyes shot to the spot she had seen the shadowy figure only a moment before. Zevran was on guard in an instant as he followed her gaze, "What is it?"

She scanned the treeline but whatever the figure had been, it was gone. "Nothing," she replied and turned her full attention back to the elf. "What are you really doing here?" she asked.

"I merely came to offer my services, should you have need of them." He smirked.

"Well there is no one I need dead, particularly while I'm bathing."

Zevran laughed, "Not those services, my dear woman, I simply imagined it's been some time since you… knocked boots, shall we say?"

"There are more important things than knocking boots, Zevran," she scolded.

"No argument there!" he insisted, though Leliana doubted they were thinking of the same things. "I was merely pointing out that the body has urges, urges giving to us by the Maker, and yours must be considerable after all that time."

"That is a rather personal question," Leliana pursed her lips but Zevran just laughed in response.

"I meant no offence, I merely wanted to offer my services should you ever feel the need for... release," he explained and eyed the skin not hidden behind a towel.

"Let me think about it then and should every man in Ferelden suddenly die, you may even have your chance," she replied and turned on her heel to head back to camp.

"A-ha! Progress!" he called after her. Once he was sure she was gone his face fell and he glanced to where she had looked before, but seeing nothing he removed his wet clothing and settled in the still heated water…

He was already wet, he might as well enjoy a hot bath.


	42. Skeletons Can Hurt

_Gah, sorry for the late update. I had yesterday off and for some reason whenever I have a day off, it doesn't seem to click that things I normally do on that day still need to be done :/_

_So you know what I realized this weekend? This story has over 200 reviews! :O Admittedly we're on chapter 40, so that really only averages to about 5 reviews per chapter… but still 200! Anyway, thank you to avekay, melstewarthm, Raven JadeWolfe, Sasuke's Kanojo for reviewing this week. Also thank you to fifespice for reviewing 1-27 :)_

_So I'm planning on re-openeing my Etsy store. I opened it once before when I was younger but I didn't really do much research and simply expected it to work. Fortunately I've matured a lot since my last go around and I've also greatly improved my jewelry making skills… I don't have anything listed yet but you can check out what will be listed in the jewelry gallery on my DeviantArt account (I promise you my jewelry making skills far exceed my drawing skills). _

_So should any of you choose to support your favoritest author (or if you just want to tell me how utterly awesome I am ;] ), you can check out what will be up for sale here (remove the spaces):_

http : / / janecshannon . deviantart . com / gallery / 27518100

_Anyway, Enjoy this chapter…. I certain enjoyed writing this one!_

.oO***Oo.

It had not been a relaxing bath for Zevran, Leliana's earlier comment had put him on guard and had him watching every shadow for the figure she had mistaken as his decoy. Several times, he thought he saw it in varying shapes and sizes but every time he blinked it would disappear. Eventually he came to the conclusion that either there were multiple figures or it moved more silently than any living creature he'd heard of.

Neither option was good considering he was alone and separated from his group.

He cut his bath short (not hard since he didn't have soap to wash with anyway) and reached for his clothes where they sat beside the heated pond… They were now frozen solid and he had not brought a towel.

The assassin considered his options carefully. He could walk back to camp completely naked. The opportunity to embarrass the Templar was tempting but he was not eager to expose himself so completely to the frigid air. He could melt his clothes in the steam coming off the water then wait for them to dry but that would take too long and he didn't want to remain separate from the group with the potential for so many enemies out there.

Finally he decided to melt his clothes in the water and wear his smallclothes back to camp… Hopefully they would hold enough heat from the water to make it back to camp without freezing.

Each step was like walking through ankle deep embers while having hundreds of tiny daggers pricking at his skin. He'd been through worse though, and slowed to a confident saunter just beyond the light of the fire

.oO***Oo.

Alistair sat across the fire watching Leliana brush Kallia's hair. He often forgot how long it really was since she so rarely took it out of the braids.

"This place feels funny," he commented, hoping to spark a conversation.

"The Veil is thin here," she responded absently, clearly enjoying what Leliana was doing. Her eyes were closed and her face was completely relaxed. He (on the other hand) tensed at her words, remembering the last time they had been somewhere the Veil was thin she had barely slept and had become reckless because of it. There was no Wynne to make her a potion to substitute for sleep this time.

"The Veil?" Levi asked.

"It's the curtain between worlds that separates us from the Fade and demons," Kallia explained to him, still not really paying attention.

"D-demons?" Levi repeated fearfully. "Well it's a good thing you came along," he said, more for his own comfort than anything.

"No, it's a good thing Alistair's a Templar. If anything I'm a liability now," the mage answered, still not opening her eyes. Alistair found it more than slightly disconcerting that she could say that as though she were merely commenting on the weather. "But I'm not so much of a liability that I'll leave you without a fighter, don't worry."

"If the Veil is thin…" Alistair started. "We don't know how long this is going to take… You can't go days without sleep…" he insisted.

Kallia finally opened her eyes to look at him. Taking in his worried frown and tense posture, she smiled. "The Veil isn't as thin as it was at the Tower, Alistair. I should have no problem sleeping," she told him. "Though just to be safe I won't put the threshold spell around the camp, no point in making it any thinner," she added after a moment's thought then closed her eyes to enjoy Leliana's ministrations again.

"I don't like it here," Leliana commented. "It feels like something is watching us…"

"More than one something," Zevran muttered from his spot huddled close to the fire in the blanket from his bedroll as well as Kallia's. The mage had arched an eyebrow when he walked into camp earlier carrying his soaking wet clothes and wearing nothing besides his smallclothes. When he was still shivering after laying his clothes out to dry and pulling his blanket around him tightly and sitting close to the fire, Kallia had offered him the blanket from hers.

"I wouldn't worry too much about it," Kallia told them. "It's probably nothing more than wisps."

"What are wisps?" Levi asked.

"Can they harm us?" Alistair quickly followed Levi's question, glancing around carefully studying every shadow as though expecting thousands of demons to suddenly jump out and try to devour them.

"If a demon makes it to our side of the Veil without a host, they have no connection to the Fade to sustain themselves on. Just _being_ here drains their mana and if they don't manage to find a host to feed off of before their mana runs out they become a wisp. To answer your question, Alistair… Yes, they can hurt us but it's really not much more than me taking a pin and pricking your finger."

"Hey, pins can hurt!" he exclaimed remembering one time that Lady Isolde had accidently dropped a pin on one of the servants hands then stepped on it. The girl hadn't been able to use her hand properly for two days, though she did stop calling Isolde _the Orlesian_ after that, even behind her back.

Eamon's wife had some of the most unlikely accidents.

.oO***Oo.

"Here we are," Levi stated. "Soldier's Peak."

The companions walked forward and suddenly hundreds of men in shining silverite armor surrounded them.

_"I gave the Wardens one chance to die with honor, instead they hole up like cowards,"_ one man stated.

"Do you see them?" Leliana asked desperately.

Levi nodded his head, "I do."

"As do I, Leliana," Zevran answered.

"I can feel the magic," Alistair commented and looked at Kallia. "Any idea who or what is causing this?"

Kallia stared ahead with pained eyes. "It's the Veil. It's been shredded here," she brought her hand up as though to touch something only she could see. "It's like it's been constantly pulled apart for years on end and never allowed the chance to heal," she explained distantly. She seemed to shake herself then, and regain her composure. "The Veil is thin, but these are just images," she walked forward and wave her hand through the man currently talking. "They are scenes from the past that will continue to play out regardless of us. They can't hear us, see us, or hurt us."

She turned to face them, but just as she did so she was thrown forward from the impact of an arrow embedding itself in her shoulder. Alistair rushed forward to shield her just in time to feel the _thud_ of another arrow intended for her embed itself in his shield instead. Leliana pulled out her bow and scanned the area the arrow had come from.

"Fanged Skeleton!" she yelled as Zevran slipped into the shadows and Levi ran for safety.

"I thought you said they couldn't hurt us," Alistair demanded as he huddled over her with his shield.

"I said the images can't hurt us. Those are skeletons. _Skeletons_ can hurt us," Kallia answered him with gritted teeth.

"Yeah, thanks. I rather figured that one out on my own," he snapped as he brought the shield up to block an arrow aimed at his head.

"You have to pull it out," she told him.

He glanced down at her, eyeing the wound carefully. "Not during battle. For all we know that's a barbed tip. If it is, it'll just cause more damage coming out than going in."

"Alistair!" she said in her best _just do it_ voice.

"No. Best case scenario it only nicked a blood vein and you bleed out. I'm not putting you at that risk."

"Do it before I do it for you and the angle I'll have to pull it from will _definitely _cause more damage."

"Why are you being so stubborn?" he demanded.

"Because it's tipped with mage bane!" she yelled back, the blood drained from Alistair's face.

"How much?"

"Does it matter?" she gritted out.

Alistair took a quick glance around and, seeing no one aiming at them, used his shield hand to hold her back in place while his other gave a hard tug and pulled the arrow out. Kallia screamed as a chunk of skin and muscle were pulled out with it.

Her good hand flickered blue as she did what she could to stop the pain and bleeding but the mage bane both limited her magic and prevented the wound from healing, there was little she could do. "Go help Leliana, I'll help Zevran," she ordered. He was about to protest but she had already run towards the other elf. He followed her orders and went to help the redhead.

As Kallia fought, Zevran quickly realized that while she could use her hand and fingers to manipulate what was left of the Veil. Lifting her arm was either impossible or too painful to try, preventing her from using her staff to defend herself. He took out more than one skeleton trying to take advantage of that.

By the time the fighting was done, Kallia was breathing hard and sweating. Zevran rushed forward to catch her as she fell to her knees. Alistair and Leliana came running.

"Why did you take the arrow out?" Leliana asked Alistair angrily.

"She said it was tipped with mage bane," he explained hurriedly.

"The poison would have been in her system from the moment the arrow hit her. Taking it out and allowing her to fight only made it circulate faster."

"I'm fine, Lel," Kallia said as she dug through her pack. "I just need a Lyrium potion and a couple of minutes. Go loot the area, I'll be fine by the time you're done," she told them. They hesitated so she added, "Levi will be here with me and will shout if I suddenly feel the need to die."

Zevran laughed, Alistair frowned, and Leliana pursed her lips but with a bit more convincing all three moved off. Levi helped Kallia to her feet after she'd downed a Lyrium potion to help counter the mage bane and a healing poultice to stop the bleeding. She closed her eyes as the world spun for an instant, Levi grabbed her unwounded shoulder to steady her. He dug through his pack and found a long sleeved shirt. He folded it up and looped it under her bad arm then tied the arms around her neck. She let out a low hiss of pain as her damaged muscles were moved with her arm but relaxed as the sling put them in a much nicer resting position.

"You don't really look like you're ready to be fightin' again, yet," he commented.

"And I probably look better than I feel but that's not really the point, is it? We cannot stop and rest every time we are injured. We'd never get anywhere if we did," Kallia explained. She paused before looking around her, "Besides, not all of it is from my injuries."

He frowned, "What do you mean?"

"The Veil here is so damaged... So..." she shook her head and looked at her feet. "It's not just thin, it's… Looking at it makes me sick to my stomach."

She heard the crunch of snow behind her and turned to see Leliana making her way towards them. "Are you feeling better now?" the bard asked.

"Of course," Kallia smiled convincingly. "Just as I told you, much better."

If the redhead noticed the disapproving look Levi gave the young elf, she didn't say anything.

"Kali, why did you tell Alistair to take out that arrow? You had to of known it wouldn't be a good idea…" Leliana asked.

"Because he would not have left me there otherwise and you and Zevran were quickly being overrun. As long as the arrow was in you were down two fighters, with the arrow out you were only down one," Kallia explained.

"And you're really doing better now, yes?" Zevran asked.

"I am really feeling better," she answered.

"Because I did not think mage bane wore off of mages so quickly," he stated with narrowed eyes, his tone almost accusing.

"That's my girl," Alistair said grabbing her arm in a congratulatory squeeze. He immediately jerked his hand away and looked sheepish when she cried out. "Sorry," he hurriedly apologized.

"Don't apologize," she gritted out. "Just," Kallia took a deep breath to steady herself, "Just don't do it again. Let's get on with it."

"We should find the entrance to the Peak, yes?" Zevran asked, eyeing the large fortress warily.

"I think Alistair and I were fighting by it over there," Leliana pointed to a pair of large wooden doors. Unfortunately, when they tried to open the doors they found they wouldn't budge.

"Maybe we can ram it," Alistair suggested, looking around for something to ram it with.

"You can try that, my dear friend Alistair. But if that's all it took to take down those doors, the soldiers would have done that a hundred years ago, yes?" Zevran told him.

"But it's also had a hundred years to rot, Zevran," Leliana answered. "It has to be worth a shot..."

Kallia looked closely at the door, "I've afraid it hasn't rotted a bit," she told them. When they looked at her with confusion, she explained, "There's a charm on the door to prevent that. It protects against rotting, fire, anything that would allow the door to be forced open without the key."

"Can you undo it? Allow us to force the door open?" Leliana asked.

"I can try but for it to have lasted this long without someone to tighten the threads… a truly skilled mage must have been the one to create it. I'm sure it has precautions against that," she explained and stepped forward, looking carefully for the right threads to pull. Finally finding one of the ends, she tugged.

Kallia let out a suddenly yelp and jumped backwards. Alistair caught her carefully as she stumbled on a rock. "I think we should probably just try to figure out the key..." she told them as she righted herself. Alistair nodded, clearly not wanting to risk the spell injuring her again.

"The skeletons Leliana and I were fighting were once Wardens," Alistair told her. "Leliana and Zevran can go search them for anything that might be a key while you and I stay here to try to figure out the door."

Kallia nodded, though she knew Alistair's real reason for staying with her was in case any more skeletons showed up. He couldn't see the threads of the Veil and he didn't have the training to decrypt their meaning even if he had been able to.

As Zevran and Leliana walked off, Zevran paused and looked at her for a moment, studying her as though trying to decide something. "Problem?" Alistair asked challengingly.

Zevran's eyes turned to the ex-Templar and studied him for a moment as well before saying, "Admirable trait, yes? Fighting even though she can barely defend herself." He kept his eyes on the Templar only long enough to see the look of surprise before he turned on his heel to assist Leliana.


	43. Brother and Sister, If You Really Are

_Lol, so I had a great week… I can't actually remember __**why**__ it was a great week at the moment but I do remember that it was good. So yaay me. _

_Beta Fishy Eva would like me point out her complete and utter approval for the smexy naked Zevran in the last chapter ;)_

_Anyway, thank you to Raven Jadewolfe, Evalyne, allyssacousland, and Sasuke's Kanojo for reviewing last week._

_Enjoy this chapter and see you next week!_

.oO***Oo.

Kallia studied the two stone griffons sitting on each side of the door carefully. The charm on the door was tied to them, she just wasn't sure how. As she ran her fingers over the Warden's Oath carved onto the chest of one of the griffons, she was surprised to find it dented in, not out as she had expected. "An optical illusion..." she muttered quietly to herself.

"A what?" Alistair questioned.

"An optical illusion, a trick of the light," Kallia explained. She waved her hand around the indent but the shadows remained unaffected. "The light is a part of the charm on the door... so that the light always hits it just right to make it appear like the Warden's Oath sticks out when it really sticks in. I think we just found the keyhole which means our-"

"Kali! We found something that might help!" they hear Leliana call as she approached them. "You know that amulet you and Alistair are always wearing? All of the Warden skeletons had one as well, but they had been destroyed," the bard held up several necklaces. Most of the Oath's had been smashed, breaking the little glass dome that held their Joining blood, some looked as though they had been destroyed with magic, as though it had been a mage who didn't have the strength to destroy it physically.

"They likely smashed it themselves just before they died so they couldn't be used to get into the Peak." She stared at a small circular indentation in the stone, "Alistair, are you wearing your Warden's Oath?"

"Of course I am, you know I don't ever take it off," he answered. Kallia made her way to the other side of the door and brushed the snow away. There was another indentationa spot for an amulet there as well.

"Put yours in the indentation over there," she ordered. Alistair did so and Kallia pressed hers into the griffon on the side she was on. Kallia watched the some of threads holding the door shut unknot themselves. Alistair tried to open the door but was still unsuccessful. "There's more too it…" she muttered.

As she spoke, the scent of burning wood filled her nose as black lettering began etching itself on the door.

_Brother and Sister, if you really are,_

_You cannot get in, the door has been barred._

_But do not worry, you have what you need,_

_All you must do, is find the right key._

_A promise was made, an Oath if you will,_

_A promise for which much blood has been spilled. _

_But now we must ask that you spill a drop more,_

_For tThat is the key that will open the door. _

_But be weary my friends. Be honest and true,_

_For we will know if it's really you._

They were all silent for several moments as they read the etched words. Alistair finally offered, " '_But now we ask that you spill a drop more_,' Do we need to go kill darkspawn?"

"There are no darkspawn near here. They obviously want Wardens to be able to get in even after they've died. They would make it something easily accessible to any Warden," Kallia answered.

"Not to mention anyone can kill a darkspawn," Leliana added. " '_For we will know if it's really you,_' implies that it's something specific to Grey Wardens but something that could be taken by force."

Alistair moved to stand close to Kallia and whispered so the others wouldn't hear, "It mentions an Oath, could it mean the blood from the amulets we got after our Joinings? That would explain why they smashed theirs"

Kallia considered it but shook her head and muttered back, "We have no way of getting to the blood without destroying the our amulets as well. Even if we did, Warden's Oaths have a limited amount of Joining Blood in them. You'd only be able to use the door a certain number of times before you ran out, it wouldn't be practical."

Kallia and Alistair turned their attention back to their companions, though Kallia was the only one to notice Zevran watching them with a wary expression.

"What about a Grey Warden's blood?" he asked carefully.

Alistair's eyes narrowed. "That would be blood magic!" he yelled and turned to Kallia to back him up.

But she wasn't looking at him. She was staring at Zevran and when his eyes turned to the griffon where Alistair's Oath hung, she saw he had dug away the snow at the statue's feet to reveal a stone bowl stained varying shades of red.

The stains were so old they had become a part of the stone itself. She had only seen stains like that once before on the floor of the Harrowing Chamber. She knew what they were, though.

Blood stains.

"He's right, Alistair," she whispered. From the corner of her eye she saw him turn to her with an open mouth ready to argue. He didn't though. Instead he knelt by the griffon where her Oath had been placed and dug the snow away from it as well to reveal a second bowl with the same stains.

"There has to be another reason these are here. This can't be right," he said as he stared at the bloodstains he'd uncovered. "This is blood magic," he repeated.

"It can't hurt to try," Kallia told him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Though we should probably put it where our own Oath's are." He looked up at her and she could see in his eyes that he was begging her to reassure him. "It's only blood magic if you cast a spell. You aren't a mage. You aren't capable of blood magic," she lied soothingly.

Templars might not call them spells. They might twist the Veil rather than weave it. But a Templar is just as capable of blood magic as any mage.

.oO***Oo.

Kallia and Alistair grabbed their amulets from the wall and placed them back around their necks. The group was grimly silent as they walked through the door and another flash began playing.

_"The men's morale is low, Commander. My spells are no use in this matter."_

_"There's more to leading than sorcery, Avernus,"_ a woman in Warden Commander's armor replied. _"I will remind them that they are Wardens," _the woman turned to her men and gave them an encouraging speech, Kallia watched closely.

"So brave, even when starving," Levi commented with a beaming smile. "And my great-great-grandmother stood with them."

"I can't believe the king would attack the Grey Wardens like that," Leliana frowned.

"I can," Kallia scoffed, Alistair looked at his feet.

"Oh Alistair, I'm sorry…" the bard started.

"The king didn't attack us," Alistair looked up with a resolute expression on his face. "Loghain did. And Loghain is _not_ the king."

"Speaking of kings, it sounds like this Arland of yours was a bit of a tyrant, yes?" Zevran pointed out.

"Everyone knows the Grey Wardens were banished, but to murder them like that… King Arland must have been a monster! But I've talked enough, the images are gone, we should move on, my friend." Levi said as he moved toward the door but Kallia stopped him.

"There could be more skeletons or even demons, Levi. Let Alistair go first," she told him and the companions resumed the order they had taken in the caves, though this time Levi trailed behind them, sticking to the safety of the already cleared rooms.

Kallia's warning turned out to be correct. An Arcane Horror stood waiting for them as they walked through the door. Its face took on a malicious smile as it raised its arms and Rage demons sprouted from the floor in a wave of heat.

Instinct had Kallia reaching behind her for her staff but the pain that suddenly emanated from her shoulder stopped her. She panted and her good hand flew to her shoulder. The others were too occupied with the rage demons to notice the Arcane Horror advancing towards her.

Terror flooded her veins and she realized the Horror was feeding off her, intensifying her emotions so it could form a strong enough connection to feed without possessing her. Kallia's fear froze her in place and she couldn't look away from the hovering figure making its way towards her. It took its time wrapping its hand around her neck and lifting her from the ground.

A thought entered her mind and she was reminded of her time in the Fade when she'd had that same lipless smile on her face as she had taken the form of an Arcane Horror. tThe demon hissed as it felt its control over her weaken.

"Your friends are occupied, Mage, they will not save you. You are injured and can't cast a spell properly. You are mine," it whispered.

"It was… a mistake… to come this close, Horror," she told it, struggling for breath as even her uninjured arm scratched at its wrist to try to free her. .

"Why is that, mortal? Amuse me."

"Because I… know your… weakness!" her good arm suddenly jerked her dagger free and sliced the arm holding her up at the same moment a large sword sliced its head off. She landed on her feet and panted as she caught her breath. Alistair was looking at her gravely when she finally raised her eyes to his. "Arcane Horrors are weak against physical attacks. That I couldn't cast magic was not much of a weakness against him," she informed him.

That seemed like something his Templar training would have included, but he didn't ask how she knew that when he didn't. Maybe it was a mage thing. Instead he helped her put her arm back in the makeshift sling Levi had made for her.

"Why didn't you tell us that arm was completely useless? We would have waited for you to heal it," his voice sounded hurt and he suddenly rounded on Zevran. "And why didn't _you_ tell us?" he demanded, pointing at the elf accusingly.

The elf arched an eyebrow. "I told you she could barely defend herself. I did not think I would need to tell you the arm was useless as it is in a _sling_, my dear Templar."

"Kali, if you were so injured, you should have said something," Leliana scolded.

"There is _nothing_ we can do. I am a mage who has been injured with mage bane. _Nothing_ can heal that until the mage bane is out of my system," she told them.

"Wynne did. At the Tower," Alistair quickly pointed out.

"Wynne specializes in healing. She's much better at it than I will ever be," Kallia replied. "I cannot heal this."

"So what? We just continue on without you being able to defend yourself?" Alistair yelled.

"I can use a dagger… mostly," she replied, tightening her grip on the dagger in the hand.

"Why can't you use magic, my warden?" Zevran asked. "I saw you using it outside, yes?"

"The Veil is getting thinner and thinner the deeper into the Peak we go. I don't dare cast any more spells than necessary; I could tear the Veil completely and unleash something far worse than whatever else is already here. I can still safely cast directly from my mana pool, but most of those require two hands to direct the magic and I cannot replenish my mana with mage bane in my system. We just have to finish this as quickly as we can."


	44. The Archivist

_It was not a good week for your favoritest writer. Here's to hoping this one is better. The upside is that I got my first commission to make a custom piece of jewelry and she liked the bracelet so much she might have me make matching earrings. You should also deffinately check out my deviant art gallery :)_

http : / / janecshannon . deviantart . com / gallery / 27518100

_I've started moving things over to my etsy store too ^-^ I'll give you a like to that once it's really up and running… In the meantime if you see something you want on Deviant Art most of the stuff is for sale, it's just not listed on etsy yet ;)_

_Sorry this is a day late… I got very busy at work yesterday and we were celebrating Imbolc last night. _

_I really gotta get this published for you guys, but we had a lot of new reviewers this week ^-^ I'll post the thanks next week :)_

_Enjoy!_

.oO***Oo.

Alistair was not happy.

_As quickly as we can_ was taking far too long for his comfort. He didn't want Kallia to fight if she couldn't defend herself. If she could barely move her arm. If she couldn't cast spells. If she… she just shouldn't be fighting when she could get hurt!

The slow burning anger in him was growing and he probably should have been worried that one of the rage demons was trying to feed off his anger… But he was too angry to care and instead used his anger to fuel his attacks and he furiously defended her, killing any demon or skeleton (or _anything_, really) that looked like it might threaten her.

He would dwell on the fact that Zevran seemed to be on his list of good-guys later… For now, there was a rage demon looking at his mage that had no right to be doing so.

.oO***Oo.

Zevran kept his distance from the Warden, or more accurately the Templar protecting her. The human's face was filled with an almost unnatural rage and though it seemed he was able to direct that rage at only enemies… Zevran was not so sure _he_ didn't count as an enemy in the Templar's eyes at the moment.

Instead he made it his job to take out any of the demons that got too close to Leliana, there was only so much that could be done point blank with a bow and she was doing enough damage to attract attention. There was also the added bonus that she probably wouldn't get so angry that she would decide he was an enemy after all and try to kill him.

That was a pretty big bonus.

.oO***Oo.

As the last demon in the room fell, Alistair's anger began to fade. The wary expression on Zevran's face almost made him want to laugh, but before he could really enjoy his smug moment a quiet, "Alistair," from behind him had him turning his attention to his mage.

She was breathing heavily, her hand reaching over her shoulder and flickering a dim blue. When the blue light disappeared completely and she brought her hand forward there was a dark red liquid staining her palm. "I'm too much of a liability," she told him.

"We aren't leaving you," Alistair told her and quickly moved towards the next room, leaving no time for her to protest.

.oO***Oo.

"Do you trust me, my Warden?" Zevran asked quietly as Kallia removed an unconscious Alistair's armor to get to his injuries. She looked up at him questioningly but the elf wasn't looking at her, instead he sat staring into the fire with a carefully blank expression on his face. He apparently decided he didn't want her answer because he continued quickly, without giving her a chance to reply. "I have a … plant," he hesitated on the last word, clearly changing what he had been about to say, "That will numb your shoulder and allow you use that arm with less pain."

"But?" she asked, sensing there was more to his offer.

"But it is a finicky plant. Too much could make you very ill or kill you," he replied, still staring into the fire. He was testing her, she knew, carefully cataloguing her answers. For what, she didn't know, but she did know that she needed to tread lightly

"Do you know how much to give without killing me or making me ill?" she asked him cautiously.

Zevran got a sad sort of smirk on his face, though he still stared into the fire. "Some poisons are very expensive, my Warden, and not all marks are wanted dead. Crows are taught how to discern exactly how much poison give to achieve a range of effects," he told her. "I can guarantee you that if a Crow does not want you dead, any poison they give you will not kill you. The question is," he finally turned his eyes to her, face still carefully blank, "Do you trust that _I_ do not want you dead?"

If he was surprised when she chuckled, it didn't show. "Zevran, if you wanted me dead you wouldn't have told me the… _plant_ could kill me," she pointedly emphasized the word _plant_ to let the assassin know she knew he had been about to say _poison_. "Help me pop Alistair's shoulder into place first, we should do this before he wakes up," she asked.

"I think perhaps I should help _Leliana_ do that, yes?" he told her.

.oO***Oo.

With Alistair no longer under her care, she finally took a chance to look at her surroundings. The remnants of books were scattered everywhere; the room was probably a library of some sort, she supposed. It would have been a grand library too… she couldn't help but mourn the loss of so much knowledge.

Unable to stop herself, she knelt and began picking through the books with her good arm, hoping at least one of them would be salvageable. Her hand brushed passed a large book that was covered with scorch marks but what drew her attention was the remnants of a spell she didn't recognize woven around it. She carefully dragged it into her lap and tried to make out the badly burned words. Much of it was indiscernible but she was able to make out enough to determine this was a record of some kind. She turned the page, and jumped as the world flashed white and she was suddenly surrounded by mages and soldiers, though these soldiers' armor was not as shiny as the warriors' they had seen outside.

Kallia glanced over her to see her companion's reactions and tensed when she saw she was alone in this flash. Whether it was because she had been the only one holding the book or because she had been separated from her companions when it started, it appeared they had not been included. And then she noticed it as she used the wall to pull herself to her feet, the flicker of the Veil from the corner of her eye. This was not like the other flashes. This time she had been pulled into the Fade. Though that fact disturbed her (it took quite a bit of power to pull someone into the Fade even if they were a mage), it did explain why she was in this flash alone.

"_The door won't hold, Archivist," a young mage in apprentice robes commented from by the door where bookcases had been stacked to barricade it, the sound of something trying to get in echoed eerily throughout the room. _

"_Just a moment more, my dear. The truth must be told," an old man said from where he was hunched over a large book. The Archivist, Kallia supposed._

"_What does it matter? We're dead," the woman asked, her shoulders hunched in defeat. _

"_Our grand rebellion, so close," he muttered sadly. The woman began walking forward and Kallia quickly stepped out of her way. Though she knew the women would walk right through her and it would not affect the scene that was playing out, it was still disconcerting to be walked through as though you do not exist. "And to die here, a stillborn…" he finished and straightened his back. The young woman put her hand on his shoulder. _

"_We never should have done it," the women told him and looked back at the door with a scared expression. "The Warden's aren't supposed to oppose kings and princes. This is our punishment from the Maker for doing so."_

_Kallia frowned. Rebellion was against everything the Warden's stood for. To rebel against a king would break their neutrality. _

"_Some wrongs are too great to be ignored, my dear. Should we have stood idly by while-"a large crack from the door interrupted him and everyone's eyes shot to the door fearfully. Some fell into defensive stances; others stood resignedly still and accepted their fate. _

_The Archivist closed the book hurriedly and buried it under a large stack of books that had clearly been taken from the bookcases so they would be moveable. "Please don't let them find this one," he begged to some unseen force. The old man turned and looked Kallia directly in the eye as he withdrew a dagger from the folds of his robes, "The truth must survive even if we do not."_

_One final crack from the door and splinters went flying everywhere. Kallia's good arm came up to protect her head on instinct as the world flashed white and the scene ended. _

.oO***Oo.

Zevran met Leliana's eyes. "On the count of three?" she asked and he nodded.

"One."

Zevran tensed and made sure he was best situated where he straddled the Templar's waist.

"Two."

Leliana gripped his wrist and moved into a squat, ready to use her weight and gravity to pull.

"Three."

Leliana leaned back and there was a distinct _pop_ and a groan from Alistair as his shoulder was set back in place. Leliana released his arm and fell on her bottom with a quiet thud. Zevran, on the other hand, made himself comfortable on the Templar leaning over his chest so he was at eye level with the other man.

"Nothing like a brush with death to make you… _really_ not like death," the Templar groaned with his eyes still closed, apparently not noticing the added weight on his waist.

"And here I was thinking you were the type to buy me dinner before putting me in this position, my dear Templar," Zevran commented and Alistair's eyes shot open. He made a very unmanly squeak and tried to buck Zevran off but the elf just laughed, "I didn't realize you would be so eager. Leliana, my dear, why don't you come join us? I can guarantee a wild ride!"

"Kallia save me, the evil assassin is trying to rape me!" Alistair shouted.

Leliana giggled from where she sat and glanced over to the mage to see her reaction. She was surprised to see the mage just slumped against the wall and staring at a book in her lap. "Kali…?" she called cautiously. Zevran stopped struggling and looked over his shoulder at the other elf. Alistair took the opportunity to shove him off but quickly turned his attention to where he mage sat, completely unaffected by the commotion going on beside her.

"Kallia… I mean Kali?" he said and he climbed to his feet. He knelt beside her and froze when he saw her eyes. Her beautiful blue-green irises now shown bright silver, though countless other colors seems to ripple in their depths.

Still beautiful, but not Kallia's.

He sucked in a sharp breath, "She's in the Fade," he whispered.

"But how?" Leliana asked and she walked to stand beside him. "She said in Redcliffe it would take several mages and Lyrium to get her there to save Connor…"

"Or a blood sacrifice if I have heard that tale right, yes?" Zevran asked, earning a glare from Alistair.

"I don't know…" the Templar told her heavily. "Mages can't come and go at will… It takes too much power to pass through the Veil."

"But she said the Veil is thin here," Leliana argued

"Well, let's wake her up out of it then, shall we?" Zevran said and reached into his belt for a set of smelling salts. Alistair's hand shot out and gripped his arm a tad harder than necessary.

"She has to come out of it on her own. We can't touch her," he ordered gravelly. Zevran's eyes flicked to the dagger still in the Templar's boot. The man's body language was screaming that he had suddenly become very conscious of the extra weight there.

"How lo-?"

The female elf suddenly let off a surprised squeak and the book fell from her lap and her legs jerked in her attempt to protect herself from some unseen assailant. Small red scratches appeared on her hand where the sleeve of her robe didn't protect her. Alistair rushed to kneel in front of her, looking into her eyes. He let off a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding when her blue-green eyes looked back at him.

"Kallia…" he started, unsure of how to finish.

"Kali," the elf corrected him and all of the tension drained out of him. It was really her.

"Kali," the Templar repeated in relief.

Kallia smirked, "I seem to remember having this conversation before."

Alistair flushed, remembering _exactly_ when they'd had the conversation before and _exactly_ what they'd been doing when they had it. Kallia, on the other hand, stared at the book that had dissolved to dust the moment it had hit the floor.

The moment the Archivist had shown her the truth.

The moment his spirit had finally crossed over.

It was a gut wrenching feeling that twisted her gut as pieces began to add up to a truth she didn't want to be real. But Duncan's words were echoing in her mind already, _A Grey Warden will do whatever it takes to end the Blight._ He had stopped walking on the road and turned to look her in the eye. _You must use every asset, every tool, available to you. _

She had known at the time his warning had held a greater depth than she had the knowledge to interpret. But as she had watched the Archivist pull out that small bloodstained dagger, as she had taken in the many scars that riddled his arms and hands, as she had seen him turn the blade on himself… Duncan's words began to take on a new meaning, though she doubted it was the meaning he had intended.

And she wasn't entirely sure she liked where this was going.


	45. A Painful Request

_Looky! Looky! Eva made a pretty!_

http : / / evalyne . deviantart . com / # / d391w5q

_We've had so many new reviewers the last couple of weeks :D Is it cause I've been publishing at a different time or because I hit the 40 chapter milestone? Whatever your reason for joining us (and that doesn't sound even slightly cult-like :P does it?), welcome and thank you for reviewing 43 StargazingLily, Vivian Thomson, Sasuke's Kanojo, EponineRosen, Akane Nagamiya, Raven Jadewolfe, and Sarkule. _

_And thank you to those who reviewed 44 too, Evalyne (- Beta Fishy), Raven Jadewolfe, Saskue's Kanojo, Lady Evania, EponineRosen, and Sarkule. _

_For those of you wondering if Kallia's first specialization is going to be blood magic…. I can't tell you :P That does or doesn't happen in the future and you'll just have to wait to find out. Kallia's specializations are for just me and Eva to know for now. _

_At least you can take comfort that Eva and I __**do**__ know. I have this story planned out to a T and in case you haven't figured out by now…. It's going to be __**long**__. Looooooooooong. Not that I'm trying to convince you not to read it, I'm very much thrilled. I just figured it was only fair to give you warning ;) _

_Because, honestly, I never imagined that little oneshot I wrote would turn into a 45 chapter story with over 100K words and 200 reviews. _

_Anyway… Janec is getting off her soapbox now and letting you get on with the reading… Ohhh You're gonna love this chapter :D_

_Enjoy!_

.oO***Oo.

"Are you alright, Kali?" Leliana asked her, but the elf was still thinking over what she had seen. Something was definitely going on within these walls.

"Kalli-" Alistair only just cut himself off from adding the _a_ to the end of her name. "When we see the flashbacks, are we being pulled into the Fade like that?" he asked, his voice utterly serious. The mage knew what he was really asking, _Are we that vulnerable during the flashbacks?_

Kallia shook her head, "That one was… special. It wasn't a natural side-effect of the thin Veil, it was… placed there for someone to find."

"Who placed it? How did they manage to pull you in? How did the spell last this long? The power required to do that…" He fired questions at her until she finally held her hand up to silence him.

"I can only answer so many questions at a time," she told him. His mouth closed with an audible snap. She sighed and looked down at the dust remnants of the book, "Though the answers don't really matter anyway. He is long dead."

Kallia had not finished processing what she herself had seen and she was defiantly not yet ready to tell Alistair about it. But her Templar did not look so ready to let the topic drop. She knew one thing that would certainly distract Alistair from picking at knowledge she wasn't ready to give him yet, though she was loath to put additional strain on the already tense truce between the assassin and Templar.

"Anyway, Zevran you said you could do something about this shoulder of mine?" she asked. The elf sent her a look that said he knew exactly what she was doing but smirked, no doubt realizing it was just one more way to annoy her Templar.

"Indeed I did, my Warden," he answered. "But I'm afraid you'll need to take off your robe, my dear. It gets in the way of things and I need _access," _he purposely racked his eyes over his fellow elf's form, "…To the wound, yes?"

"Do what?" Alistair asked. "Why?" his voice raised to a squeak.

"Because he has something that will make my arm usable until I can heal it," Kallia told him as she reached behind her for the ties to her quilted outer robe. Her face contorted in a wince and Leliana immediately rushed forward to help.

The bard cleared her throat and sent a significant look to the two men, she expected Alistair to flush and turn but instead he glared and crossed his arms. There was no way the evil assassin was going to get to see his elf naked.

.oO***Oo.

Alistair glared at the wall as though it were at fault. He remained that way until a quiet hiss of pain from behind him caught his attention. He nearly turned around right then to be sure the assassin wasn't doing anything… assassiny. But his sense of propriety had been ingrained in him too long and too deep to ignore it now. He settled for a verbal warning and comforted himself with the thought that Leliana was there to stop the elf if he tried anything.

Alistair caught movement in the corner of his eyes and looked to see what it was, ever mindful that just because they had cleared this room didn't mean more things intent on killing them couldn't wander in. It was _not_ a bad guy wandering in, however. What he had caught sight of was a reflection of Kallia in a shard of mirror still attached to its frame. She was moving her arm and fingers about, testing the limits of what Zevran had done.

He couldn't see her face so he couldn't tell the extent the assassin had helped but that was not what caught his attention. Bared before him was Kallia's almost bare torso. She was still very pale, but he'd forgotten that she'd once sported skin so pale it was nearly translucent. Her time in the sun had made it a more natural color, but only where her skin was exposed to it.

But this, also, wasn't what demanded his attention to the point he couldn't drag his eyes away.

Running from her neck and down to her ribs was an angry pink mark he thought had long healed. Any other wound Wynne had healed in the past was barely noticeable anymore but this looked like it had only just finished healing, it was still bright pink, not white like it had been healed three weeks ago.

How long would her shoulder take to heal?

A hand suddenly waved between him and the mirror and he flinched, turning his head to see Leliana looked at him, half worriedly, half amused. "Everything alright?"

"Fine," he answered a bit too quickly. "Just lost in thought."

.oO***Oo.

Kallia stood at the bottom of the stairs looking up. Her arm no longer hung in a sling and instead she stood with her staff at the ready. Her companions stood behind her, not understanding why they had stopped. They _couldn't_ understand and she couldn't voice it.

Every inch of her was screaming to stay put. Not to take the stairs, not to open that door. That some untold evil waited on the other side and she should not continue. Twenty-some years of learning told her to run the other way as far and fast as she could… But she was no longer a Circle mage and Circle Mage instincts would do her no good here.

With that thought, she motioned Alistair and Leliana to take point and braved the stairs behind them silently.

The moment Kallia walked in the room she screwed her eyes shut. Demons all around her were whispering, clawing at her mind. She froze in place and pressed her hands to her ears hoping to dim the noise but it did no good.

"Warden?" she heard Zevran ask, though it was muffled by her hands. He was the only one behind her, so the only one to notice something was wrong.

"Kali!"

"Kallia!"

People were suddenly surrounding her, asking questions, demanding answers. They just made it worse, just added to the din. She couldn't help the quiet whimper that escaped her throat. "Quiet… Please, be quiet," she begged. The people around her were silenced but the demons took her plea as weakness and clamored for control even harder.

She felt armored arms wrap themselves around her and she buried herself into Alistair's embrace. "Make them be quiet," she begged again. A request she would never have made even of Cullen; that no mage would _ever_ make of a Templar. Such a request demonstrated an inability to deal with demons.

But this was Alistair.

"What is she hearing?" she heard Leliana whisper, surprisingly loud over the din of the demons.

"The Veil isn't just thin here, it's almost completely gone," Alistair explained to them, his grip tightened around her as if he could protect her by doing so. "If I listen hard enough even I can hear it," she felt him shudder.

"What do we do?" Leliana asked and Kallia felt Alistair tense as he hesitated to answer the question.

"You do nothing," he finally answered as he rested his cheek on the top of her head. Kallia relaxed the tiniest amount as she felt him begin to twist the Veil and prepared herself for the gut wrenching feeling she knew was coming.

And when it came, the silence was so welcoming she closed her eyes and allowed herself to fall into blackness.

.oO***Oo.

Alistair turned to see Kallia with her hands over her ears and her eyes screwed shut. Her name passed his lips and he was moving towards her before he'd even really registered something was wrong. The tiny whimper that escaped her throat made his heart clench but when she begged for quiet it nearly killed him.

The moment his arms were around her, her legs gave out though she didn't seem to notice, and he lowered them to the ground and she tried to hide within his arms from the demons.

"Please make them be quiet," she begged and Alistair felt his face contort into a grimace. He knew what she was asking him to do, begging him to do. He didn't want to think of how bad it had to be for her to be asking for that… That there was no record of any mage asking for that, no matter how torn the Veil may be.

"What is she hearing?" Leliana asked him so quietly she was barely audible.

"The Veil isn't just thin here, its almost completely gone," he told her and tightened his grip Kallia. She was _his_ mage, no demon would touch her. "If I listen even I can hear it," he told the bard and trembled with anger and fear for Kallia's safety. There were too many speaking too loud to distinguish a lot of what they were saying, but he picked up enough to know that if he were ever faced with these demons he would tear them limb from limb with his bare hands, if that's what it took so they'd never be able to bother her again.

"What do we do?"

He knew Leliana was just trying to be helpful, but she had only served to remind him that he was the only one with the skills to grant the silence his mage requested. Skills he had thought to never use on her. "You do nothing," he told the bard. Kallia had asked and he wouldn't deny her, even if it felt like he was cutting out his own heart to do as she asked.

Alistair hugged his mage to his chest as she went limp in his arms. He gently gathered her into his arms bridal style and made his way back through the door they can just come through. The other's followed him wordlessly.

He briefly debated carrying her back to one of the rooms they had cleared already but decided against it and set her down on the floor at the bottom of the stairs instead. It would be easier to defend her here and she hadn't been effected until she'd gone through the door so he figured it would be safe enough here.

He brushed the piece of hair out of her face that always fell out of her plaits. The piece that had been cut by an arrow. He hated that piece of hair, it just served to remind him of her mortality.

Leliana and Zevran seemed to realize he needed a moment but Levi did not know their group so well. "Wha-What just happened?" he stuttered.

Alistair glared at the door, glad that whoever had come last had had the forethought to close it. "The Veil was too thin," he answered, though he had explained this already.

"Wh-what do we do now? Will the Warden be alright?"

Alistair hesitated. He didn't know. Mages were put in the Tower for the very reason that _mages_ were the ones to repair the Veil if it was torn. The only ones to tear the Veil were young apprentices who weren't powerful enough to allow much through. That was why children weren't allowed to do magic and apprentice's had teachers.

Templars might safeguard the mages, but mages were the one that safeguarded the Veil and repaired it when it was torn.

"We wait for Kallia," he answered finally.

She would know what to do.

That's what mages did.

That's what _she_ did.

She would know what to do.


	46. Black & White

_Yes, yes that was a evil place to leave the last chapter off, but surely by now you've figured out that I am the Evil Queen of Cliffhangers insert evil laugh here!_

_No, but seriously… I'm glad you guys are all enjoying the story and thank you to Sasuke's Kanojo, Sarkule, thebrute7, and Raven Jadewolfe for reviewing. _

_Anyway I'm going to let you get to the story. Enjoy!_

.oO***Oo.

When Kallia finally awoke, Alistair was the only one awake. A quick glance around told her that Leliana, Zevran, and Levi had set their bedrolls up. Alistair wordlessly held out a bowl of soup, she almost hesitated but then caught a whiff of the spices only Leliana used and quickly began shoveling food in her mouth.

He remained steadfastly silent while she ate, not even teasing her when she ran her finger along the inside of the bowl and licked it clean. She eagerly tried to peak into the larger cooking pot to see if there was more, only to be disappointed to find it empty.

Alistair remained silent, practically ignoring her until she finally spoke, "How long?"

"Only a few hours, but this is a defendable position and it was late so we decided to catch a few hours of sleep ourselves while we waited for you," he answered monotonously.

"Something tells me that was Levi's idea," she chuckled. He looked at her with a questioning look on his face and she added, "He's not used to all this excitement. It can be very tiring at first." She expected a chuckle, perhaps a joke back, but received neither. Finally she sighed, "What's wrong, Alistair?"

"I forget you're a mage…" he mumbled quietly, unwilling to look her in the eye. She arched an eyebrow, though he didn't see it. "I mean, I remember you're a _mage_, but I sometimes forget what that…" he went silent, but she didn't speak, allowing him to gather his thoughts. Finally, he raised his eyes and the look on his face made her stomach clench. "Kallia, you can't… I can't… Please," he begged and reached into his boot, pulling out her Harrowing dagger. He held it out to her. "I can't do it, Kali. I can't."

"You have to," she whispered, her eyes glued to the dagger in his hand.

"I _can't_," his voice was wavering and he thrust the dagger towards her again. "If I… had to kill you… it would be like killing a part of me. I just can't do it."

"Alistair-"

"No! No, Kali. You can't expect me to kill the woman I love and then just move on as though it were nothing!"

"The woman you-"

"I can't do it, Kali," he thrust the dagger at her again, not realizing his slip. Kallia didn't know how to react. Her first instinct was to run, buy herself time to think it out and get away from the potential danger that emotions presented. But there was nowhere to run and somehow she doubted that was the appropriate reaction outside the Tower.

Dumbfounded, she reached out and curled her fingers around the proffered dagger. The relief rolled off him in waves but she couldn't take her eyes off the dagger in her hand.

She had never been told she was loved before… never really considered it a possibility.

Mages don't love because there are dire consequences that come along with it. With love comes desire and a whole range of emotions they were neither allowed nor prepared to deal with.

_"To give what you want is such a simple task,  
And a glimpse of your world is all that I ask._

_Through your eyes I shall see both the shore and the sky,  
Not a soul will I harm," the demon did lie._

_So Daina agreed  
And the demon was freed._

_Fellow mage and hated Templar, friend or foe all faired the same,  
Let us never forget, it was Daina who was to blame._

_For lost love she lost everything and you could too,  
All it takes is one slip and that mage could be you._

_Play the games if you must, but never forget.  
In the end love is selfish and will lead to regret. [1]_

She finally raised her eyes from the dagger to look at her Templar. Since leaving the Tower she had allowed herself to feel things she'd always been taught would result in becoming an abomination, yet here she sat, completely in control of her faculties and abomination free.

She cared about him, to be sure, but could she love him back? Did she _already_ love him back? How would she know if she loved him? They didn't exactly teach you how to identify love at the Tower, simply warned against it… Alistair didn't seem to realize what he'd said, so that would at least buy her some time to come up with answers.

In the meantime…

Kallia looked back at the dagger. It was warm from being inside his boot but was quickly losing its heat in the cold air around them.

"So what do we do about the Veil upstairs?" Alistair interrupted her thoughts.

In the meantime… she had a Peak to recover.

"I can't seal it, not alone anyway," she replied, "We'll have to leave it for now."

"But we can't… How are you… I mean, you need…" he sputtered and Kallia gave him an amused smile before her face fell and her eyes rose to the door at the top of the stairs.

"I wasn't prepared for it to be that torn. It won't be the easiest place to be in, but I'll manage," she told him.

"We can't leave it torn like that, more demons will just leak out," he replied gravely.

The mage sighed, "It's not like I _want_ to leave it unsealed, Alistair. I simply don't have the power to do it alone."

"Can't you just… drink some Lyrium potions or something?" he asked hesitantly.

The mage sighed and grabbed a scrap of fabric laying on the floor nearby. "You see the way these threads are woven together, Alistair?" he nodded. Carefully, she picked at two or three of the threads running each direction and pulled them out, leaving a small hole in the center of the fabric. "Most tears in the Veil are really more like this. Small holes where too many threads have been removed right next to each other and all a mage has to do to fix it is shift the nearby Veil to close it, " she told him as she began rubbing the fabric and pulling the remaining threads together to close the gap. Kallia held up the fabric for him to see more clearly and added, "Often times, the Veil will repair these holes on its own. A sealed Veil is the natural order of things."

"So… can't you do that?" he asked, "Shift the Veil to fix it?"

"I'm not done yet," she scolded and drew the dagger from her thigh and laid the fabric down on the ground. She had given this lecture many times to the Magelings at the Tower. It felt good to be giving it again; it felt familiar. "When the Veil is truly torn, the demons claw at it, shredding it and making the tear as big as they can," she took the point of the dagger and made dozens of tiny strokes in the center of the fabric. When she held it up, nothing remained but the tattered border. "I cannot shift what isn't there," she told him. "I cannot weave any spells in that room, there aren't enough threads for it. There were barely enough for you to Cleanse Area."

As confusion filled Alistair's face, Kallia realized she'd said too much. Templars were never taught the source of their abilities and no mage dared tell them.

"What do you mean?" he asked, frowning. "Mages work the Veil, not Templars."

Kallia shook her head, "I misspoke."

He cocked his head to the side and his frown deepened. "No, you didn't."

"Alistair…"

"What did you mean, Kali?" he interrupted and Kallia sagged. She couldn't seem to deny this man anything.

Oh well, if there was a Templar to know… It seemed appropriate it would be him. "Are you sure you want to know, Alistair? Templars are not taught where their abilities come from for a reason," she warned, but she knew better. The warning would only make him more curious, he was just as bad as a sodding five year old sometimes.

"Tell me," he answered, but it wasn't the grave tone she had expected. There was a curiosity lighting his eyes, a desire for her to tell him simply because he didn't know.

Her shoulders sagged, though whether from relief or defeat she didn't know or care to think on.

"Most people are taught that there are mages and that there are non-mages. You are one or the other. Black or white, there is no gray area," she started and Alistair nodded. He himself had been taught this. "You were lied to, Templars are that gray area."

.oO***Oo.

_[1] From my Mother Goose of the Tower fic. To read the whole thing go here: http : / / www . fanfiction . net / s / 5979108 / 1 / Mother_Goose_of_the_Tower_

_I know I've beaten the "Mages don't do emotions" concept to death and that every time something happens she has to remind herself that the Tower rules don't apply to her anymore. The thing is, I'm trying to prove a point. Kallia is having to overcome a lifetime of habits and teachings and that doesn't happen overnight. Yeah they do care about other mages but remember that they don't ever really admit that, even to themselves. Plus don't forget that Kallia has only been out of the Tower for just over three months at this point. _

_On another note, I'm going to take a bit of artistic license with where the Templar's abilities come from. In the game, there were a couple of comments made about magic and Templars that just seemed to make me go, "Hrrrmmmm….." So I'm going to explore those a bit. I'll talk about it more in the next chapter, just letting you know :)_


	47. Grey

_:D I have some fanart to share with you this week ^-^ Saskue's Kanojo drew the scene where Leliana is brushing Kallia's hair (you know the drill by now, remove the spaces)._

mizuki16 . deviantart . com/art/Kalli-and-Leliana-197757671

_Anyway, thank you to Raven Jadewolfe, rebelgodess19, thebrute7, Sasuke's Kanojo, EponineRosen, and tita for reviewing this week :)_

_So last week… Totally didn't realize it was Valentines day until after I posted the chapter :P So… happy belated Valentines day to you, readers!_

_So I started another playthrough of Dragon Age on Saturday… Please allow me to complain about something I'm sure you all can sympathise with. I __**hate**__ running Ostagar and Lothering... B__ut I had two options: I could either spend the rest of the evening trying to program on my box at home and not being able to because Visual Studio has serious issues (meaning I click once and it freezes for ten minutes) or I could run put up with running a new Origin, Ostagar, and Lothering._

_Believe it or not, it was not a very hard choice._

_Anyway…. I'll let you get to the story now._

_Enjoy! And don't forget to check out Sasuke Kanojo's pic :)_

.oO***Oo.

Alistair sat frozen, Kallia's words echoing through his mind.

_You were lied to, Templars __**are**__ that gray area._

She waited patiently for him to absorb this new information, still debating if she should have simply refused to tell him. She, as every mage, simply assumed this was something no Templar would handle well and (as Alistair had so succinctly put the first time she met him) nervous Templars make for nervous mages which make for even more nervous Templars.

It was a vicious cycle that magelings were taught to avoid with whispered warnings and cautionary tales that were so old no one really knew if they were true or not. Fear twisted in her gut as she hoped that Alistair would prove those tales wrong, that he was better than a Templar. It wasn't until she heard Levi's teeth chattering in his sleep that she realized she'd let her emotions run with her magic and had cooled the air around them with her fear.

She immediately pushed her fear to the side and focused on what she would tell Alistair when he asked. This was not a lecture she'd been taught how to give, at least not to a Templar. She finally settled on the lecture she would have given him if he were her apprentice.

"What do you mean, Templars _are_ that gray area?" Alistair finally managed to ask, the paleness to his usually tan face told her he had probably worked most of it out already. She would need to tell him or else he would always wonder and that just would not be fair to him.

Still she hesitated, if only to delay his reaction a moment longer. His questioning, "Kali?" prevented her procrastination any longer however and she sighed. At least he hadn't reverted to Kallia.

"You know that the Fade is the world of dreams and that anyone who dreams goes there when they sleep," she started, it wasn't a question but he nodded anyway. "All humans and elves have mana. Not enough to really do anything with, but it's there. Templars have been taught that they are nothing more than regular humans who've been taught to utilize that tiny amount of mana that all humans and elves have. This is where what Templars are _taught_ and what Templars actually _do_ differ."

Her own curiosity struck and she couldn't help herself from asking, "Do Templars have any sort of visualization exercise they do? Like when they first start training?"

"What?" Alistair replied, he almost seemed surprised to have been addressed.

"We never got apprentice Templars in the Tower… Well, there might have been some at my Harrowing off to the side but the Templars on the mage floors were all experienced," Kallia continued, her interest piqued now.

"What do you mean '_visualization exercise'_?"

"Like before magelings can see the Veil, they have to learn to weave physical threads. Templars never actually learn to see the Veil so _how_ do they learn to manipulate it?"

The Templar frowned, "Can't mages always see the Veil?"

"Of course not. A mageling becomes an apprentice once they develop the ability to see the Veil. That's when they can start working with real magic," she explained.

"What does it look like?" Alistair asked eagerly and Kallia chuckled.

"At first you just catch a glimpse here or there, usually around Harrowed mages, and the small glances you get are so beautiful that you want nothing more than to see it forever… And you will, because once you're old enough you _do_ see it all the time," she explained. A tiny smile lit her eyes as she remembered those first few months. "And then a few months pass and you start to see it around the other magelings and it's not as pretty but you're still glad you get to see it." Her face suddenly fell and she looked away from Alistair, who was grinning madly by this point, "And then you start to see it around the Templars… and you never want to see it again. Not if it means you have to see _that_."

"Is it like that around me?" He asked, holding his hand up and squinting at it. The elf chuckled at his antics.

"Templars are all over the Tower. We get used to it after a while," Kallia reached over and rested her hand on his.

Alistair was silent for a moment as he stared into her eyes before answering her earlier question, "A net. They're taught to imagine a net around them in all directions that they pull towards themselves. What does it… What does it feel like… for you?"

Kallia was relieved to see that the curious light in his eyes was back, she couldn't help but answer him. "It feels someone is trying to pull my spirit out of my body by force," she told him and instantly regretted it. The light in his eyes dimmed and she knew he was thinking of hours before when he had done that to her.

"Does it hurt?" he asked, pulling his hands away from hers.

She gave him a small smile, "It is uncomfortable, but I wouldn't call it painful, no. It's sort of like having the wind knocked out of you."

"That can be painful," Alistair pointed out with a wince.

"It can be but it isn't always," the elf corrected gently.

"Wynne said…She said that Templars affect the Veil around them a certain way…" Alistair prompted.

Kallia chuckled. "They do. Templars don't have the ability to _weave_ the Veil, they have little more than the ability to grope at it blindly. So that's what they do. They grab it and twist it and because of that the Veil around them is… wrinkled and twisted," she explained sadly.

"So Templars use magic?"

"Technically, yes. Though their ability to do so is little more than a fresh mageling."

"Does the Chantry know? Why would they do that?" he asked her.

"Why would they give the Templars Lyrium when it isn't necessary?" Kallia questioned then sighed. "It's assumed that at some point they knew, but whether that knowledge has been lost is not something we know."

"But _why_?" he questioned again and Kallia hesitated to answer him. She could think of only one answer though and only hoped it would satisfy him.

"Sometimes to protect people, you must become the very thing you are protecting them from," she answered quietly remembering Amell. She had always harbored the tiniest amount of resentment for the Templars for killing her kind without a thought that they could be recovered with a ritual and other mages…

Or at least she had until that night when it had fallen on her to make the decision to kill her friend or try to hold off until a ritual could be performed.

"So Templars are capable of blood magic too," it wasn't a question.

"Mages are fortunate Templars consider blood magic abhorrent," Kallia answered cryptically.

"But mages consider it abhorrent too…?" Alistair prompted and, again, Kallia hesitated though for a different reason this time. This was not an argument she wanted to have with him, but the flashback she'd been in alone continued to nag her.

Finally, her decision made, she spoke very carefully, considering each word carefully so as not to set off the Templar instinct. "Is a sword evil because it's used to kill good? Or is the sword simply a tool in the hands of someone evil? Magic is magic, Alistair. Most mages find blood magic distasteful, but not inherently evil."

"But it changes people, corrupts them," Alistair argued.

"_Power_ corrupts people and blood magic is very powerful. The problem is that the people who are willing to get over the distaste of using blood magic are usually the ones who _are_ corruptible."

"But the Chantry-"

"Also says mages are born into sin with no hope of redemption. We tend to disagree on a lot of subjects," Kallia scoffed.

"Would you…" he didn't seem to want to know the answer to his question, Kallia answered him anyway. This was one answer he would like.

"No, as I said most mages find it distasteful. I am one of them."

"Why?" he questioned. "If not because the Chantry says it's bad then why is it… distasteful?"

"Blood magic is more about raw power than technique and skill. It's like the difference between the way Sten fights and the way Zevran fights. Zevran makes several well thought out and perfectly aimed strikes while Sten just aims in the general direction of whatever he's fighting and does enough damage that it doesn't matter where he hits them," She replied, then (remembering trying to learn to fight like Zevran herself) added, "Both have their merits but Zevran lacks the strength to fight like Sten and Sten the dexterity to fight like Zevran. If either tried to fight like the other it would not end well…"

"But blood magic is used to control people... Make them do things against their will. It comes from _demons_. How is that not evil?"

"That is one of the reasons mages find it distasteful, but think of this, Alistair. If I ever became an abomination…" The Templar flinched and began to protest but Kallia held a hand up and spoke over him, "It _is_ a possibility. As much as you dislike it, there is always a chance. Blood magic could be used to stall until the ritual could be performed to break the bond." All expression drained from Alistair's face and he stared off unseeing. Kallia's eyes landed on Zevran as she reiterated for the Templar, "Something is not evil because it has been used for evil in the past."

He was silent for several minutes until he finally said, "Don't let Sten hear you think he's less of a fighter because he doesn't aim."

Kallia smiled; if he was joking then he would be fine.

.oO***Oo.

Zevran listened carefully to the Warden arguing the benefits of blood magic with her Templar. There was something else to her voice, an underlying need to make him accept that blood magic might have its uses.

That was… unexpected.

Although, perhaps not so unexpected as it should have been.

He'd heard her confession of not being mad at Jowan (who he gathered was a blood mage that had used his blood magic against her) and he had been there when she had let the blood mage try to escape. But more than that, he had seen the fearful acceptance in her eyes after she'd come out of that flashback as she had stared at her palm. The palm she'd cut to gain entrance to the fortress they were now in.

He fought the urge to tense when he felt her eyes on him.

"Something is not evil because it has been used for evil in the past," she told her Templar quietly, but Zevran got the feeling she wasn't just talking about blood magic.

.oO***Oo.

The group stood at the bottom of the stairwell. Alistair and Kallia stared at the door while the rest of the companions watched the Templar and mage.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Alistair asked his elf cautiously. "Cause… I mean… You know… you don't have to. You could always…"

"Do what, Alistair? Sit here and twiddle my thumbs? I can't leave you down a fighter," she replied, though it was easy to see that her face was drawn and her entire body tense. "Wasn't it you who insisted you wouldn't leave me behind?"

"And wasn't it you who insisted you were too much of a liability?" he asked quietly. "What's changed between then and now that suddenly we can't face this without you?"

Kallia finally tore her eyes from the door and looked at Alistair. She couldn't bring herself to answer his question. She couldn't tell him that she couldn't let him continue without her because she feared his reaction if he ran into another flashback and discovered what she suspected to be the source of the torn Veil.

"Take point," she whispered instead and she saw his eyes darken slightly as his question was ignored and worry became anger. He did as he was told though.

Even if he nearly broke the door opening it.


	48. Tainted Protection

_So I have been out of sync for like two weeks now… I honestly went about yesterday __**knowing**__ it was Monday but __**believing**__ it was Friday. It's very strange. _

_Anyway, Soldier's Peak is taking much longer than I expected it to. I didn't honestly think it would take as long as it has….But that's ok, more for you to enjoy right? _

_Thank you to rebelgoddess19, Vivian Thomson Evalyne, Raven Jadewolfe, and Sasuke's Kanojo for reviewing this week. And of course thanks to Eva for betaing… These chapters have really needed it hehehe To be perfectly honest she's probably written just as much of the last couple of chapters as I have :P_

.oO***Oo.

Walking through the door the second time was no better than the first. But Kallia was prepared this time, so when she stepped through the door's threshold she grit her teeth and did her best to ignore the clamoring demons. The sounds of fighting soon filled the air, but since it came from phantoms long dead she paid it little mind. When the demons were suddenly silenced, Kallia froze where she stood and looked around her suspiciously.

She could think of no reason for the demons to suddenly lose interest in her. Fearing perhaps they had shifted their attention to her Templar, she looked at him but other than noticing she was acting different, he seemed unaware of the change.

"Are you alright?" He asked quietly while the other two companions' attentions were on the flashback. His concern for her was apparent and she gave him a reassuring smile.

"I'm fine, the demons have quieted. It's much easier to ignore them now," she told him. He relaxed and she saw his arm twitch slightly. He hesitated, as though unsure the action would be welcomed, before reaching out and squeezing her hand as though to comfort her. Kallia held back a chuckle as she squeezed his gauntleted hand back.

It had not so much been about reassuring her as it had been reassuring himself that she was still there. That she was still her.

Now, fully reassured that she was, he turned his attention back to the scene playing out before him.

"_Make them pay for every inch, men!" Sophia yelled. _

Kallia's companions watched the battle closely but the young mage held little interest in the fighting. What had caught her attention were the intricate circles on the floor surrounding her. She knelt down and scratched at one with her nail. Black flakes came away from the circle and the noise of the demons returned the moment her finger went beyond the boundaries of the circle only to be silenced as she brought it back within.

"A protection glyph?" she murmured quietly to herself but dismissed the idea. Glyphs were formed with magic, not whatever the black substance was, and they didn't last very long. The longest lasting glyph in recorded history was created by 2 mages who took turns pouring magic into it but even they were only able to keep it up for 4 days… Nowhere near a hundred years.

"_Avernus, we need you!" Sophia yelled in the background. _

The shout drew Kallia's attention back to the scene playing out before her just in time to watch Avernus run into the largest and most intricate circle of all of them. He began muttering in a dark sounding language that Kallia didn't recognize. Though she didn't understand his words or understand his actions, she could guess his intention and she could tell that she was watching they Veil being torn.

Nervously, she glanced over at Alistair to gauge his reaction. He'd gone deathly white as he stared at the scene playing out before him. When Avernus slid the dagger in his hand across his palm, the Templar actually flinched.

"_More," Sophia shouted and more of Avernus's blood spilled onto the floor. Several drops landed on the line of the black circle, but still he spilled more. As the lines of the circle blurred more and more, the demon's attention was drawn towards everyone in the room and not just King Arland's men._

It was with an almost morbid fascination that Kallia realized what the black substance the circle was drawn from was. Blood, yes, but this wasn't just any blood, it was _darkspawn _blood. She glanced at the circle she stood in. For some reason the protection it offered had lasted over a hundred years, though whether that could be attributed to the fact that it was blood or the fact that it carried the taint she didn't know.

What she did know, were the basic laws of magic.

It was never wise to allow the magic of one spell to interact with that of another. In most cases the two spells simply dispelled each other or only the stronger of the two remained. However at times it could produce some… interesting side-effects, not always desired ones.

Phantom Avernus's blood carried with it the magic to summon and control the demons and as it splashed on the circle around him, the two spells canceled each other out…

Releasing his control over the demons and dispelling his protection from them.

"You fool," she whispered as she watched the threads of the Veil fray and unravel around her. Tearing as the largest demon forced its way through. She could practically feel it's presence in the room.

And though it had no discernable face, she could hear the smirk in its voice as it uttered, _"Your soul is mine, Avernus."_

A flash of white and the flashback ended yet the demon remained. Dazed, neither Kallia nor her companions reacted until the demon turned towards them. A haunting laugh filled the air and Kallia watched the last few threads in the room disintegrate. "He's summoning more!" she yelled and in a wave of heat, rage demons erupted from the floor.

Her companions sprang into action and Kallia withdrew the staff from her back. She began to move to Alistair's side, but the moment she stepped outside the circle the demons clamoring was back, even louder this time, and she quickly moved back within its protective barrier. The demons seemed to ignore her as they focused their attention on her companions. Even with her arm repaired as it was, she was useless to them.

She was still too low on mana to cast a decent sized spell and there weren't enough threads for her to weave. She watched as, even with Alistair's Templar abilities, the demons had the upper hand, though it did not go unnoticed by the mage that her protective circle remained completely unaffected when it should have been dispelled. Without the devastating magical damage Kallia's spells provided her friends were out matched and quickly being overrun.

She couldn't simply sit here.

She had to help them.

A spell, any spell would do.

Unsurprisingly the easiest spell to cast was something cold. It was easier to intensify what cold was already there than summon a spell completely from her already low mana pool. Just the same, the effort of pulling the entire Veil close enough for her to grab threads to weave was draining her, and draining her quickly. Ice crystals began to form on the stone floor around her feet but, unlike Avernus, she paid close attention to just how far they crept.

Just as the demons finally began to notice the swirling vortex of magic…

Just as the crystals were about to reach the black lines on the floor...

Kallia finally wove the last thread in place, and yelled "Take cover!" for her companions before she released it to do whatever damage it could.

The spell was cast, but it had taken every ounce of magic she had left in her. The sound of her staff hitting the floor was lost to the sounds of fighting.

.oO***Oo.

The Warden's yell of, "Take cover!" gave Zevran only seconds to huddle beneath a table before the fierce winds and ice daggers swirled within the room. He wasn't sure what spell she had cast, but it had certainly been a powerful one.

As he shielded his face behind his arm, he noted that he should never be stupid enough to openly threaten those who the mage cared about if he didn't want to end up frostbitten or burnt…

Finally, the fierce winds quieted and Zevran heard the Templar's battle cry erupt from somewhere to his left. Figuring he would know best when the magic had faded, the elf chanced a look at the room.

There were three demons left…. And warrior (who was running around the room swinging his sword wildly like a chicken with his head cut off) had managed to piss them all off. If his intention was to make them all attack him at once, it was working. Though a quick glance at the fallen Warden made Zevran wonder if that was, in fact, the Templar's intention.

A quiet _twang_ from Leliana's bow sounded and one of the remaining demons went up in smoke. Zevran crept up behind one of the remaining ones and aimed a strike at its back. He was thrown across the room before it landed however, slamming into the wall.

He knew nothing but darkness after that.

.oO***Oo.

The moment Alistair felt the magic disperse around him he rushed out. His intention originally had been to get to Kallia's side and see if she was alright, but when he saw that there were still demons he was forced to attract their attention instead of running to the woman on the floor. He wasn't sure what level of protection that spot offered from the demons but he did know that (for whatever reason) she had been unwilling to leave it during the fight.

The Templar could feel a cold nervous sweat run down his neck when he thought about the fact that she had fallen but it was the fact that she had yet to get up that had him muttering prayers that she was alright to the Maker as he fought.

Kallia had been too low on mana to cast a spell of the magnitude she'd just cast. Though the mage bane should have mostly been out of her system, she should still have needed time to regain the amount of mana needed. He'd heard that mages could injure themselves with the overuse of their magic. No one had ever told him what that meant or _how_ they injured themselves… just that they could.

He couldn't lose her.

Leliana's arrow took out a demon just as he ducked behind his shield to avoid the attack it was about to launch. Moments later a crash sounded behind him.

"Alistair!" Leliana yelled warningly. An arrow whizzed past his head and after a moment he was sprinkled with ashes as the demon behind him disintegrated.

There was only one demon left, then he could check on his mage.

.oO***Oo.

The faceless demon was using the other two as distractions. It was obvious its original intent had been to take out the active threat Leliana, Alistair, and Zevran presented. The moment they were distracted, however, it's attention shifted to the most vulnerable member of their party.

Leliana aimed her arrow with a Pinning Shot at the demon hoping to prevent it from reaching their fallen leader. It bought them a scant few more seconds.

In the back of her mind she wondered where Zevran was, but disregarded the thought quickly. He was known for his sneaking and was probably waiting for the right moment. Unfortunately, the right moment got him flung across the room and she shouted a warning to Alistair. A twang of her bow dispatched the demon that had attacked the assassin. They were down two fighters but there was only one demon left.

But the Pinning Shot had worn off and despite her prayers that whatever had protected Kallia from the demon's clamoring before would protect her from their physical presence as well, the moment the demon floated over the black drawings on the floor a magical shield shot up from the floor.

Sealing the demon and Kallia in.


	49. The Chance To Be Free

_I'd like to start off this week by pointing out that, yes, Kallia has fallen into a bit more of a defensive roll for this particular quest. But you need to keep in mind that she is currently injured and while the Mage Bane __**has**__ finally started to wear out of her system, she isn't allowing herself the rest she needs to regain her mana. She's made several bad decisions to this point that have had a negative effect on her situation. _

_Another thing to keep in mind is that I'm the kind of writer that very much believes in the Chekhov's Gun theory. I don't put things in my stories without a good reason for doing so. The tiniest detail could eventually become significant… So you know that if the group is having serious issues at the Peak, there is a good reason for it and it will likely come into play later. _

_One last thing I'd like to mention. I've done everything I could to keep these characters as realistic as possible. Kallia isn't a supermage. I've never pretended that she was. There are a lot of fights that you don't see because they aren't important and there is no point in putting them in but they __**are**__ occurring._

_Anyway, I'm going to get off my soapbox and get on with the rest of the Author's Note so you can get to the chapter. _

_Thank you to rebelgoddess19, Evalyne, Raven Jadewolfe, Sasuke's Kanojo, kk, and Kira Kyuuketsuki for reviewing this week. Also thanks to Eva for betaing and don't forget to go check out Abandoned Sanctuary. She's got a very good chapter coming out soon._

.oO***Oo.

Zevran woke to a pounding headache and he very much wished the two humans would stop yelling. They sounded like they were speaking from the other side of a thick door and it took him several moments for his head to clear and make any sense of their words. From what he was able to gather, the Warden was unconscious and they were unable to reach her for whatever reason.

It seemed the Peak and the Warden were not suited well for one another. The group needed to go somewhere nice (preferably warm) where she would not be constantly knocked unconscious.

He cracked his eyes open just barely enough to see but not make it known he was awake. If they were still fighting a demon, it would do no good to have it know he was conscious again. If they weren't fighting a demon, well then… there wasn't much of a rush, was there?

A glowing pink shield surrounded both the Warden and the faceless demon. Both of the humans were shouting, though the Templar shouted prayers to dispel the shield while the bard simply yelled warnings in an attempt to wake the mage up. Zevran's eyes scanned the pink force for any weaknesses, but just like the one he had seen at the Tower, none could be found.

And then he noticed it.

The Warden's hand had fallen just beyond the confines of the circle and remained outside the barrier.

The assassin hesitated. This was his chance to be completely and utterly free, to be able to make decisions entirely on his own. All he had to do was nothing. The group would never blame him (he was unconscious after all) and if the Warden died, his pledge of loyalty died with her.

But while he might be able to lie to anyone else, Zevran knew better than to lie to himself. If you couldn't recognize your own lies, how could you recognize those of others? So, no. He knew better than to believe it was the pledge that kept him where he was. As Isabela had so accurately pointed out to him in Denerim, he had no qualms with telling lies and breaking promises. If he had really wanted to leave, he would have done so already and he had a sneaking suspicion that so long as he made no attempt to harm her and hers, the Warden would simply let him go.

So why did he stay?

That was a question he didn't really have an answer to, it seemed. But, for now at least, he did want to stay and the demon (though tauntingly taking its time) was getting dangerously close to someone he had decided to protect. So as the Templar's prayers became pleas, the assassin let off a dramatic moan to grab his attention, if only for a second. For a moment the two men's eyes met, then Zevran's golden orbs flicked over to the Warden's hand and _for once_ the human got the hint. The Templar's gaze followed the assassin's eyes then, realizing what he was indicating, made a mad dash towards her.

Scrambling, the warrior grabbed the mage's hand just as the faceless demon sped up to seize hold of her feet. The warrior's prayers had been answered and he was able to drag Kallia right through the barrier. The demon made no further attempt to retrieve the mage once she was outside the shield and safe. It remained completely still and though it had no eyes they could see, all three of the conscious companions could feel its gaze boring into them. The Templar hugged the fallen mage to his chest as though he could somehow shield her from the unknown danger the demon presented. The expression of combined fear and determination on the Templar's face was one the assassin had never seen before.

The demon, though still encased within the barrier, began to laugh again and all three companions tensed for a battle they knew they would not be able to win. But the faceless demon did not summon more demons to him, instead he leaned down and plucked Kallia's discarded staff from the floor.

"Well played, mortals, but it has only just begun," it warned then added with a laugh, "This will only hold me for so long, then I shall hunt you down… one by one… and destroy you from the inside out."

"Let's go," Leliana pleaded. Alistair nodded.

"Someone go back for Levi. I need to get Kallia out of here. Now."

Leliana nodded and headed towards the door they had come from, Zevran used the wall to stand (with a slightly louder than necessary grunt), as Alistair gathered their fallen leader in his arms. The Templar studied the demon for a moment longer, worrying on what it wanted with Kallia's staff, but since they had no way of retrieving the weapon, he lead the way to the next room where the Veil was thicker and no demons lurked.

.oO***Oo.

When Leliana made her way back up the stairs with Levi at her back, she froze in the doorway. The barrier had faded and the demon was gone. "Stay close," she warned and crept into the room on the balls of her feet. Her eyes scanned the room for any sign of danger but nothing presented itself. "Alistair! Zevran!" she yelled, after a moment the blonde elf's head appeared through the doorway.

"You called, my saucy little minx?" He prompted.

"The demon has disappeared," she called across the room to him. He made a point of looking around the room, though she knew he had already noticed.

"It would appear so, yes," the assassin agreed with her.

"Zevran!" she shrieked, becoming frustrated.

"Yes, my dear Leliana? What might I do to assist you?" He responded in that annoying _I'm-so-helpful_ tone.

"Watching our backs in case it comes back would be nice start," she informed him with narrowed eyes.

"Of course, my dear," he called back and she began to cross the room, muttering a _keep close_ to Levi as the elf continued to speak. "I shall remain your ever vigilant servant. No harm shall come to you under my watchful gaze, my mistress!"

The bard didn't relax until she'd reached him. As she un-notched the arrow from her bow and put it back in her quiver, Zevran crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame.

"I suppose now would be a good time to inform you that our dear Templar felt the barrier fall and the demon slip back through the Veil into the Fade just moments before you called out, yes?"

Leliana's face flushed with anger and she threw her hands up in the air as she let off a frustrated, "Argh!" at the elf's antics. She picked a pebble from the floor and threw it at him. Zevran ducked to avoid it, though he knew she had intentionally aimed the small rock too high to actually hit him.

"Such fiery passion only increases my desire for you, my Orlesian flower," he called over his shoulder as he walked back into the room where Alistair and Kallia were. Leliana moved to follow the irritating elf, but was stopped by Levi's voice.

"Since this room is safe now, would you mind if I looked around for something of my great-grandmother's maybe there's some proof in here," he asked.

Leliana looked at him tiredly for a moment. "Alright, but call us if anything happens," she told him and walked through the door while Levi ran to scout the room for any trace of the past.

.oO***Oo.

Alistair had Kallia laid out on a bed of hay that had, somehow, not rotted over the last hundred years. Despite the blanket he had placed over her, her lips were tinged a slight blue and her whole body vibrated with shivers every other minute or so. He was watching her face, waiting for any sign that she was beginning to stir and regain consciousness. He managed to tear his eyes away from her when Leliana and Zevran entered.

"She's alive, but barely," he told them, brokenly.

Whatever frustrations Leliana felt at Zevran drained out of her in an instant as she approached the worried young man. She rested her hand on his shoulder and squeezed, "She has fainted from doing large spells before and been fine, Alistair."

He shook his head and returned his gaze to the unconscious elf. "That was different," he replied. "She just wasn't used to casting such big spells then… This time… This time…" a strangled sob escaped his throat as his shaking hands clasped Kallia's just a little bit tighter. "She had _no_ mana left and she shifted the Veil closer, something she said would take at least two mages to do… I don't know what to do. I was never told what to do if a mage over-exerted themselves too much. Mages at the Tower know how much mana they can use or their teacher does or their teacher knows how to fix it… I don't know what to do… Do I wake her up? Do I wait for her to wake up on her own?"

Leliana knew he was rambling, that talking was his way of comforting himself. The bard glanced over at Zevran, silently grateful he had enough sense to keep his mouth shut. She was surprised to see him sitting on the floor in the corner sharpening one of his many daggers with a completely blank face. Idly she wondered if it was because he was worried and was trying to hide that fact and distract himself or if it was because he just didn't care. The bard decided it was the former and turned her attention back to the broken man clasping their fallen leaders hand for dear life.

"Alistair…" Leliana started, but he didn't seem to hear her as a quiet groan from Kallia suddenly took all his attention.

"For future reference, when a mage over does it… She's just unconscious, Alistair. Wake me up or don't wake me up, either way is fine. As long as I'm not dead by the time I hit the floor, I'll be fine," the mage muttered gravelly. Her brows suddenly twitched and she turned over to her side and spilled the contents of her stomach. Alistair quickly moved out of her way, but Leliana was worried about the reddish hue of the bile. "Mostly fine," the elf corrected.

Alistair immediately pulled his waterskin from his pack, but frowned and shook it. Opening the cap, he found the contents frozen through. Leliana dug through her pack but found hers had the same problem. The warrior didn't wait for Zevran to dig through his pack, he just searched the room and grabbed the first jug of water he found. Zevran's head shot up and Leliana's hands rose in protest but Kallia had drunk from the bottle Alistair offered her before they could voice their warnings.

Her eyes went wide suddenly and she stared at the bottle in her hand as she realized she didn't know where the Templar had gotten it from.

"Kali?" Leliana asked, concerned by the look on the mages face.

"That… wasn't water…" the mage asked as she threw up again, dropping the bottle. The sound of shattering glass was lost to the sound of the mage's retching, but the dark green color of the liquid now seeping into the cracks in the floor was not lost on either rogue in the party.

Nor did it escape their attention that there was no trace of the mysterious green liquid in Kallia's bile.


	50. Old Memories

_So, fanfiction . net has been down for like two weeks. I don't really know what happened, but I haven't been able to get into the story to update it. I'm assuming you either knew about this or the reviewing feature has been down too because I didn't get any reviews asking me when I was going to update and what was going on._

The good news is that it appears to be back up. 

_The bad news is that I've been waaaay to busy to get more chapters finished (the biggest reason being that I'm in the process of moving) so chapter publishing might remain kinda slow for the time being. I'm going to do my utter best to keep it at 1 a week if I can, without the pressure of having to get something done I won't get **anything** done, but it might end up getting put off if I haven't gotten a chapter finished. _

_Enjoy!_

.oO***Oo.

Kallia was double over in pain, clutching at her stomach. She had rolled onto her side at some point and had curled into a ball. Her skin was pasty and pale. Her eyes were screwed shut. Her entire face contorted in a way that made Alistair's blood run cold.

He stared in horror at what he had done to his mage. Because he had done it. He had given her the bottle of what he thought was water. He had only been trying to help. And she had taken it from him without question because it was him. Because she trusted him. And he had failed her. He would lose her, as he had feared, and he would have no one to blame but himself.

No excuse but his own stupidity.

So caught up in his thoughts, Alistair didn't noticed feminine hands grabbing his shoulders and pulling him across the room or hear the pleaded, "Get out of the way, Alistair. Let Zevran help."

Zevran.

Kallia had been poisoned and Zevran was an expert on them.

Zevran must have been the one to put the poison in the bottle!

Kallia's name escaped his throat in a horse whisper but Leliana's cold hands encased his face and turned him to look at her instead. "Zevran knows what he's doing, Alistair."

"But what if he did it?" he asked brokenly. Leliana's gentle understanding became disappointment.

"Oh, Alistair," she sighed. "If Zevran had wanted Kali dead, he would not have told you her hand was outside the barrier."

The Templar's face distorted as his world crumbled around him. His soul was being torn in two and he was being left with an empty void where the other half should be. Leliana's hands dropped from his face and she lowered herself to her knees next to him, the Templar followed her lead and both began muttering prayers for protection, health, and aide.

.oO***Oo.

Zevran's hands were steady as they held the Warden's to prevent her from scratching at her throat. She struggled against his hold with surprising strength. He was unsurprised to hear the Templar's accusation behind him. What did surprise him was the accurate statement of the bard and how close to home she had come to the truth. Did she know he had hesitated?

"Warden, can you tell me what's happening?" He questioned as he tightened his grip on her hands which were now fighting to scratch at her chest. "Warden!" he yelled, hoping to catch her attention. Leliana's voiced prayers reached his ears, soon followed by those of the warrior; he wasn't sure whether it was actually meant to help or whether the bard was simply trying to distract the Templar. The Warden's eyes opened at his call but all he saw was white. He maneuvered his hands so that one held both of hers and with his free hand he pulled up one of her eyelids to see how far back her eyes had rolled.

They had not rolled back.

He released her eyelid and frowned, he could think of no substance that would cause her eyes to white out like that. Holding her firmly, he turned his eyes to the dark green substance and made a list in his head of all the substances that would be that color. Dipping his pinky in, he brought it to his nose and sniffed. It had a dank smell… Like very old blood but not quite. That narrowed the list but not enough he was willing to narrow it further by taste. He wiped his finger off on the ground and frowned when he felt the Warden's struggling lessen.

"Warden, I need you to stay conscious, yes?" he told her. The white began to fade from her eyes and he encouragingly told her, "That is it, my Warden. Come back to us."

The female elf was panting and she was far paler than he'd ever seen her, but her eyes were back to their bright blue-green. She took a shaky breath before answering, "You can let go of me now, Zevran. I'm fine."

"Perhaps I do not want to let go, I have become quite comfortable, yes?" he teased, knowing the Templar behind him would want to claim his spot at her side at any moment. Rather than laughing, however, she just closed her eyes. "Warden…?" he asked urgently, tapping her face lightly.

"I'm fine," she answered tiredly with her eyes still closed. The assassin raised a hand to her head to check her temperature then lowered his hand to her neck to check that her pulse was steady. Her heart was beating slightly faster than normal, but not worryingly so. In fact, had it not been beating slightly fast it would have been cause for concern.

He turned his eyes to the bard to give her permission to let the Templar over. He found her eyes watching him intently. After a moment, she broke contact and whispered something to the Templar whose prayers had become deafening shouts. His eyes shot open and he scrambled to Kallia's side, Zevran quickly moving out of his way and making his way over to the bard who was climbing to her feet.

They watched the Templar awkwardly utter apologies to his mage. He looked so lost at the chance of losing her.

"Is she alright now, Zevran?" Leliana asked quietly.

"She will be. Whatever it was, it has passed through her system now, yes?"

Leliana looked at him alarmed, "_Whatever it was_? Don't you know?"

The elf shook his head. "I do not. For it to pass through her so quickly it had to be something magical, I have no experience with that. I'm afraid that's something our dear Warden will have to answer for us, yes?" The bard nodded in understanding a tiny amount of disappointment gracing her features so Zevran added, "She is just tired, my dear Leliana. Our Warden is just having a hard time of late, no?"

She looked over at him with a frown on her face. "I don't like this place, Zevran. It's like its conspiring to keep us out and Kali is taking the brunt of the damage. And the deeper we go the worse its becoming. She can't take much more of this," Leliana muttered and hugged her arms around herself, holding back a shudder.

"Do not worry, my luscious Leliana. Buildings themselves are inanimate objects thus cannot truly conspire against us. But if they should ever try you can rest assured that I, your humble servant, would do what I could to defend you. I would even go so far as to press my body against yours in protection, clothing optional of course."

Leliana made a noise of frustration. "I'm going to check on Levi," she told him crossly and made her way to the door. He smirked as he followed her.

She was just so much fun!

.oO***Oo.

Kallia laid on her bed of hay, unmoving while Alistair whispered apologies. She couldn't even find the strength to tell him to stop apologizing, that he couldn't have known what was in the bottle. She had not been lying when she told Zevran she was fine. She _was_, but she was also so very weary. It was as though she had just lived through someone's entire life in a matter of minutes.

And, in fact, she could pull up memories she knew were not hers. Memories of a boy named Avernus who was teased for his bookish ways and large ears until one day he froze a boy's arm and smashed it as the boy could only watch in horror. She could remember doing it, she remembered the morbid fascination she felt as the arm shattered into a hundred pieces. She remembered poking and trying to put the pieces together just to see if she could until the Templars showed up to drag her to the Tower. She stopped trying to remember then… She had the memories but she was not that boy. She had _never_ been that boy.

Kallia suddenly felt very old.

.oO***Oo.

Kallia hadn't responded to him at all and Alistair was worried. Zevran had said she was fine, but why wasn't she answering? Was she _that_ mad at him? Not that she didn't have every right to be that angry, but still… Couldn't she at least have told him she was angry so he could hate himself properly?

But when her body began to go limp and her eyes closed, he panicked and yelled, "Leliana! Leliana!" Both rogues in the party were at the door in an instant.

"Alistair, she's tired. She's just sleeping. Help us see if we can find anything about Sophia Dryden," she ordered. Alistair looked back at the sleeping elf, unwilling to leave her alone. Realizing that not even a horde of darkspawn could move the Templar from his elf's side, Zevran and Leliana left him with her while they searched the other room.

.oO***Oo.

They had found nothing in the large room and had eventually moved on to searching the smaller room where the Warden slept. The assassin had to arch an eyebrow at the blankets that now covered her, but the Templar had simply shrugged and quietly answered, "She was shivering," to Leliana's questions.

Zevran looked through book after book, scanning through them for… Well, he was supposed to be looking for anything about Sophia or about what had happened a hundred years ago but in reality he was simply looking for anything of interest. Any tidbit of information that he could use… For what, he was unsure of but it never hurt to have too much information.

As he read the entry, he realized this journal was nothing more than the mundane babble of the day to day life of a rather self-centered mage who never really bothered to identify himself or talk of anyone _but_ himself. Scanning one last page, he decided the book was useless and put it in the pile of discarded books.

If he had only turned one more page, the bloody fingerprints would definitely have caught his attention.


	51. Commander

_Gah, I am so exhausted. I spent the weekend moving boxes and furniture. I'm about ready to curl up on the floor here at work and just take a nap in hopes that it will get rid of this damn headache. I won't because that would be just plain idiotic... still, its a nice thought to have._

_Anyway, enjoy the chapter while I pretend to not be taking a nap ;)_

.oO***Oo.

The blue from Kallia's hands faded and she rotated her shoulder carefully. "It's not fully healed but it'll do," she told them. She looked up to three suspicious sets of eyes focused on her. "Really, this time," Kallia promised and to prove it to them reached behind her back to grab her staff.

Only then did it occur to her that it was missing.

"Where did you put my staff?" she wondered glancing around. Leliana shifted uncomfortably.

"The demon had it last. We couldn't find it when we looked through the other room so…" she hesitated, "So we sort of assumed the demon took it when it went back to the Fade."

"It couldn't have, Leliana," she pointed out. "Things from this side of the Veil cannot go to the other side… It takes far too much mana. The last time someone managed to physically enter the Fade it took half the Lyrium in all of Tevinter and the lifeblood of thousands of slaves. No one demon could possess that much power."

"Maybe the demon destroyed it?" Alistair said hopefully.

Kallia frowned. "I can't imagine why it would but that's the only plausible explanation… You're sure it's not in there anywhere?"

Zevran and Leliana shook their heads.

"We did find these though," Leliana offered helpfully, pointing to a row of staves leaning against the wall. Kallia looked them over carefully, hoping that her companions were not so adept at differentiating one staff from another. Which she certainly couldn't blame them for… She greatly doubted she could pick out Alistair's sword from a pile, or Leliana's bow, or Zevran's daggers. It would probably even take her a minute to pick out Morrigan or Wynne's staves, she could do it, but it would take a moment.

A quick glace was enough to tell her that her Blackened Heartwood Staff was not leaning against the wall.

As a mage used their staff, remnants of their magic would saturate the wood or metal. Eventually, their magic would become so entwined with the staff that it became almost an extension of the mage themselves. Very rarely would a mage switch out for a better staff and often times the staff would be passed to their first or most promising student who survived their Harrowing.

Kallia knew she would never have an apprentice to pass the staff to and in the back of her mind she realized she could not afford the sentimentality of carrying around an old staff if she had ever gotten a new one… Still, the loss of the twisted piece of wood left an emptiness in her chest she couldn't name.

Kallia picked a new staff from the pile. She tightened her grip around it and held back a sigh. It felt wrong in her hands but the magic of the previous owner had mostly worn out of the staff and it was as good as she could get for now.

"Are you ready, Kali?" Leliana asked her and the mage nodded.

"Well then, my Warden, only one decision remains, yes?" Zevran spoke from where he stood in the corner. He stepped forward and indicated the two doors on opposite sides of the room with a flourish. "Do we take door number one or door number two? I suggest flipping a coin, yes?"

.oO***Oo.

Everyone watched Alistair's back as he carefully opened the door. The moment he tensed, so did the rest of them. The four companions ran forward as Levi found shelter, only to stop short in their tracks when the demon…_thing_ turned to face them. It was not that it didn't attack them that had them so shocked but the face it held. A face they had all come to recognize because of the flashbacks, though Kallia had to resist the urge to hold her stomach when she saw the way the woman's flesh now hung from her bones and the patches of skin that had rotted away revealing blacken, aged muscles.

Sophia Dryden.

"Step no further, Wardens. This one would speak with you," she said as she watched them all carefully.

"You're an abomination, a demon!" Alistair sneered and the woman's silvery eyes turned to him.

"This one is the Dryden. Commander. Sophia. All these things," she laughed as spoke.

"G-grandmother?" Levi asked from the door.

"Stay away, Levi," Kallia warned. "You're grandmother is possessed."

The merchant laughed nervously. "Either that, or she's really let herself go," he tried to joke.

"I would say she looks rather good for being over a hundred years old, yes?" Zevran replied, but his voice held a hard undertone that reminded the merchant that this was still a dangerous situation. The rotting woman cocked her head to the side as she carefully analyzed the Crow's tone.

"The Dryden knows this tone in her memories. You are warning the human to stay away from this one," she stated then turned her eyes back to Alistair and Kallia. "This one does not wish to harm the human. This one would propose a deal."

"Why would we make a deal with you?" Alistair demanded, but he made no move to attack. He knew to wait for Kallia's indication that he should… Though it was rather slow coming. Why was she even listening?

Silver eyes bounced back and forth between the two Wardens. "This one has tasted the Dryden's memories, seen her thoughts and hidden places. The Dryden knows _Commander_ when she sees it," the rotting woman's eyes landed on Alistair. "You speak but have no say. _She_ is Commander now." Kallia's grip tightened as the demon indicated her.

"Is there anything of Sophia Dryden left in you?" Kallia asked, partially to buy time partially because she was half-hoped the ritual could be performed to rid the woman of her demon possessor. It was wishful-thinking, she knew. She had no Lyrium, no other mages, and she refused to acknowledge the ideas that sprang forth from the part of her mind that now housed the mage Avernus's memories. Even if, by some miracle, she could have performed it the body itself had been dead for a hundred years and now nothing more than an empty husk. It would no longer be able to support the spirit of a living being.

"This one has her memories but she is food! No more, no less," the rotten flesh distorted in a disgusting attempt to mimic a human sneer. "What of the deal, Commander. Will you listen to this one?"

"Why would we trust a word you say?" Kallia demanded.

"Kali?" Alistair squeaked as he nearly dropped his sword. He turned to her, a look of uncertainty filling his face. The elf looked back at him, begging him in her mind to trust her as he had always done before. She could only hope it came through in her eyes.

The decaying woman watched the exchange with blank silver eyes, only when Kallia's blue-green met hers did she speak again. "You have slain many of the demon ilk to get here. What is woman-child compared to your might, Commander. Strike me down if my terms offend. This one would be a fool to betray the Wardens," the demon's voice was coming through the more the demon spoke. Kallia could hear it speaking seconds before the physical woman did, making the rotting woman sound more like an echo.

A hundred years this demon had spent in Sophia Dryden's body but clearly over time she had forgotten how sensitive mages were to the Veil. Kallia could feel the magic pouring into Sophia's body… but for what, she didn't know.

She needed to buy time to figure out what the demon had planned. She spoke slowly as she said the words that she had no doubt she would come to regret. "Tell me about the deal."

Alistair made no protest to her words this time but his whole body tensed and he refused to look at her. The mage could tell even Leliana was uncomfortable with her words. Zevran looked almost impressed as he turned his eyes to study here.

"Making deals with demons now, are we?" his eyes burned with curiosity as he added, "I must say the Crows misjudged the Wardens. You are more cunning and ruthless than we suspected." Kallia knew what the elf was really saying, _I am the one to have misjudged you._ Though whether that was a good thing, she did not yet know. "But do not let me stop you. Please, carry on."

"Your Crow is wise. This one will explain the deal," while the rotting woman spoke Kallia looked around the room for whatever her plan was, missing the strange recognition that had flashed over the demon's face at the word _Crow_. "The Soldier's Peak traps me. This one sees so many tantalizing places in the Dryden's memories. This one would see the world herself," as the demon spoke, she wandered over to a vast mural painted on the side wall. It was chipped and faded but even in the poor lighting it wasn't hard to tell that it had once been a gorgeous landscape. "For me to be free, into the old mage tower you go and destroy! In return, this one seals the Veil." That caught Alistair and Kallia's attention. "The Commander likes this one's proposal? No more demons, no more enemies. Your Peak would be safe," the rotting woman smirked as she knew she had found the one thing they wanted.

"What would we be destroying?" Kallia asked carefully, now giving the demon her full attention… forgetting to look for the trap she knew this was.

"The magics, all moving things, the very stone if you have the power," the demon instructed with a disgusting sneer.

"What makes you think she would intentionally unleash a demon on the world?" Alistair demanded incredulously.

"You have shifted the Veil closer but you cannot repair it alone. Without me the Veil will grow weaker. More demons. More misery," the demon almost seemed to taunt, though she only addressed Kallia. "You choose just one of my kind or many."

"There are other ways of sealing the Veil. I am not the only mage in the world," Kallia pointed out, but the demon's face contorted in the disgusting smirk again.

"But how long until you can bring more back? How bad will the Veil be by then? Can your little mages survive as you did?" the rotting woman questioned.

"And what would you do if I did let you roam free?" Kallia asked, hoping for an answer she knew she wouldn't get.

"This one will roam, this one will see," the demon raised her hand to trace her fingers over what had once been a grand oak tree in the foreground of the mural. In the distant there was a grand fortress that was now nothing more than a smeared gray smudge. And for a moment Kallia actually entertained the notion of allowing this demon to go. "This one will _feed_."

But then she knew she could not.

"Seal the Veil, then I'll release you," Kallia promised, but the rotting woman's face distorted into a sneer.

"The rotten stench of lies surrounds you!" she shouted.

"Ah, I believe the rotting stench would be you," Leliana replied with an overly innocent smile.

"You seek to betray this one!" the rotting woman yelled furiously.

"I will never allow a demon to walk on this side of the Veil freely," Kallia fell into a defensive crouch and signaled her group to attack.

The demon's arms rose and the tattered Vail flickered and ripped around several piles of bones as she summoned the skeletons of dead Wardens to her side.

"Then you are no use to this one. Die!" she shouted and the battle was on.


	52. A New Staff

_Guess who's got internet!_

_After nearly a week of fighting with Qwest to get my internet turned on (at the __**correct**__ address), it has finally happened and I've learned two things: _

_**1) **__Don't count on Qwest employee's to know how to do their job (no offense meant if you are one… but my experience so far has been that even the supervisors don't know what they're doing with a few decent reps thrown in the mix __**somewhere**__)._

_And __**2)**__ Never run my boyfriend around in circles enough that I piss him off to the point that he feels the need to run me to the ground using my own stupidity (I feel kinda sorry for the reps and supervisors that managed to piss him off .)._

_Anyway, internet means I have more chances to work on chapters again which means You should be able to go back to reliably getting a chapter every week soon :)_

_Anyway I wanted to thank everyone for reviewing the last couple of chapters, I __**do**__ still enjoy the reviews even when I can't publish a chapter every week and even if I sometimes have to skip thanking you guys for lack of time. _

_You should really enjoy this chapter… I loved writing it!_

_Enjoy!_

.oO***Oo.

The good news was that skeletons are rather ineffective without their heads… or skulls (technically). The other good news was that Kallia's new staff, while practically useless for spells, was _very_ useful for causing their heads to suddenly go missing. As were Alistair's sword and shield. So while Kallia and Alistair fell into a familiar pattern against the skeletons, Leliana and Zevran fell into their own against Sophia and Levi ran for the other room where he found a suitable corner to cower in.

Things were finally looking up for the Warden's party.

That is, they were until a particularly large fanged skeleton noticed the mage was slightly favoring her right side. Alistair heard the undead growl and saw it go after Kallia. The Templar was there in a flash, standing between her and the skeletons, reducing the one that had tried to attack his mage to no more than a pile of cracked bones.

Unfortunately, in defending her, he had also pinned her against the wall so Kallia was unable to help him in the fight as he was being flanked. He pushed heavily at the skeletons with his shield, knocking them back long enough for him to strike at their heads, sending several rolling across the room with one swipe.

An arrow struck the wall just above the Templar's shoulder. It just grazed Alistair's armor enough to tear the leather holding together the breastplates. He could feel it starting to slip by the time the group had finished off the last of the undead.

The two rogues were relentless against the demon-possessed Sophia, Leliana's flurry of arrows kept the undead sluggish in her movements allowing Zevran to flit unharmed around her aimless swings to jab at her poorly-guarded back. The former Commander wasn't watching her footwork, an amateurish mistake in Zevran's opinion, and stumbled over one of the fallen undead's bones. That was all the opportunity the assassin needed, he quickly crossed his blades in a scissor-like fashion and cut the possessed woman's head from her shoulders before she was able to regain her footing.

The moment the decaying woman's head left her shoulders her body began to disintegrate, leaving nothing behind but a pile of bones filling her armor.

.oO***Oo.

Alistair examined his breastplate carefully and sighed. "It's ruined," he announced as he fingered the cut straps.

"Can't they be repaired?" Kallia asked. "You've got plenty of armor in your pack you could salvage straps from," the elf seemed to think about it for a minute then added, "Or you could just use a new one."

But Alistair shook his head, "The leather on these were cut so easily because they got wet then frozen, it

caused the leather to become brittle. Any armor that was in my pack will have the same problem."

"This is true, my Warden," Zevran came up and rubbed the leather straps lightly with his finger, watching it flake and break off under his fingers. "Had the lovely Leliana and I not held our leather above our heads when we were wading though the water we would be fighting in our smallclothes by now. And while I'm sure you would enjoy the show, it would be a rather dangerous activity, yes?"

"Not to mention it would be horribly stiff . We must be able to move freely… like in a dance," Leliana did a small spin then curtsied with a flourish.

Zevran watched Leliana move with a pleased expression before replying, "Certain activities require it to be stiff though, my dear Leliana." The bard scoffed in disgust then crossed her arms over her chest and pointedly turned her attention away from the assassin. Zevran smirked, simply admiring the different angle before turning to Alistair and asking, "Haven't you picked up any armor from the fallen Wardens?"

Alistair shook his head, "Nothing was worth salvaging. They've all sat in the cold for too long and had the same problem."

"What about that armor?" Kallia asked, pointing to the now empty pile of Sophia's armor. "It's been continually moving so it wouldn't be brittle, right?" The elf looked to her three companions for confirmation she was correct.

Alistair grimaced, "Well…. That's… It really should belong to Levi, family heirloom and all that."

"No, please! If you need it, you are more than welcome to use it… I-it's what grandmother would have wanted," Levi quickly answered. Glad finally to be of some help.

"But, Kali's really the Warden Commander. It wouldn't be right for me to wear Warden Commander armor…." Alistair tried again.

Kallia frowned and put her hands on her hips, "It's much too heavy for me to wear, Alistair."

"But… but… but it's had a _dead_ person it in!" he whined. Leliana laughed, Zevran scoffed, but Kallia just cocked her head to the side.

"So?" the mage questioned.

"You'd be wearing your own padding, Alistair," Leliana answered and began pulling the armor off Sophia's damp, putrid gambeson[1].

"But its _girl's_ armor!" he whined.

"If you need new armor anyway and we don't have anything else, what would it hurt to try it on?" Kallia asked him.

"Maybe we could just repair old one afterall," the Templar grumbled morosely, looking over his splintmail.

"Alistair," Leliana started reproachfully. "You said yourself it cannot be repaired, the same thing will just happen again. Besides, this is better than your splintmail anyway," she pointedly held out the armor to him. He just glared at the offending piece of metal in her hands and she giggled, "Are you afraid you'll catch cooties?"

"No!" he snapped and snatched it out of her hands, quickly doing up the buckles for the breast plate. He gave Leliana a childish smirk look, all but sticking his tongue out and going _nah-nah-nahnah-naah_.

"You cannot wear those pants with that breastplate, my friend," Zevran commented with a critical eye.

"Why not?" Alistair demanded.

In the blink of an eye the assassin was standing next to the Templar and running his pinky finger around the top of the pants where they didn't quiet meet the breast plate. The human squeaked in surprise but Zevran was out of reach before he could react. He turned to Kallia and wiggled his little finger, "Not sharp, not pointy, not even my pointer finger."

"Kali!" Alistair demanded angrily.

"He _is_ right, Alistair," she answer smoothly.

"You sound so surprised, my Warden!" Zevran exclaimed, exaggeratedly offended. But the mage ignored him, instead giving her Templar a pleading look. Alistair sighed.

"Fine, give me the pants as well," he grudgingly pulled the plated pants on over his linen trousers. The Templar wiggled his hips to test the movement of the armor and commented, "It's surprisingly roomy…"

"You might as well put the boots and gloves on as well," Leliana commented, starting to remove those from the old Commander's padding.

"Not the gloves," Kallia answered. "The gloves he's wearing now have enchantments on them."

Alistair took one look at the boots and shook his head. "I draw the line at heeled boots," he insisted.

"But I think the name Alice suits you quite nicely, my dear Templar," Zevran teased with a smirk.

"That's it. I'm taking it off," Alistair declared and began unbuckling the breastplate.

Kallia quickly caught his hands in hers. "You look _fine_, Alistair," she sent a pointed glare at the assassin, who's only response was mild amusement. "You can't even tell it was a woman's armor. Look it even has one of those things so there's room for your-"

"It's called a cod piece," Alistair cut her off quickly, flushing bright red as she gestured between his hips. Leliana let off a giggle at his expense and he was reminded, once again, of why he hated that giggle so very much.

"Yes," Kallia nodded. "One of those things…." She cocked her head sideways and Alistair flushed even brighter as she stared at the area she had indicated. Without thinking about it his hands moved forward and he turned away from her. "Why _does_ it have one of those things…"

"There are some things best left unquestioned, my Warden. Let sleeping dogs lie, yes?" Zevran answered.

Kallia frowned, "What do dogs have to do with it?"

"It's a saying, Kali. It means leave well enough alone," Leliana answered with amusement.

"Oh… Well why didn't you just say that?" she asked in frustration, throwing her hands up in the air. Her three companions just laughed before Zevran turned to look back at the door they had come through.

"Anyway, there is only one place left for us to go, yes?" Zevran pointed out. Surprisingly, Alistair nodded his agreement.

"To the old mage's tower to see what it was she so desperately wanted us to destroy," the Templar added.

.oO***Oo.

The group backtracked to the room they had been in before to find the other door. It was heavier than the others, so Alistair warned that it probably led outside. Leliana giggled as that comment has Zevran digging through his pack for warmer clothes.

"It isn't _that_ cold, Zevran," the bard teased.

"Oh, but I can assure you, my fair Leliana, that it very much is," he answered, wrapping a thick scarf around his neck and burying his face in it.

Alistair creaked open the heavy door letting in more and more snow flurries the further he opened it. The group carefully stepped onto the icy stone walkway.

Even from their place at the bottom of the stairs the group could see the tall tower raising high above any other part of the building, partially because it had been built into the mountain behind it, much like the Tower of Magi was. No doubt an attempt to mimic that.

"What is it with mages and towers?" Alistair asked idly. "Does magic not work as well at ground level as it does up hundreds of flights of stairs?" he groaned, eyeing the hundreds of flights of stairs they were about to have to walk up.

Kallia glanced at him, amused. "As much as some mages may hate the Tower, for most of us it's home and where we are most comfortable. It makes sense they would try to duplicate it," as she spoke, a sad smile graced her lips and she turned her eyes back to the stone spire.

"Kali?" Leliana asked, concerned by the longing in the elf's eyes and drawing the Templar's attention to her sad tone.

"We understand the way the world works in the Tower. Everything is much simpler. Sometimes it's nice to close your eyes and pretend that you're back in that world… Even if you can never go back," Kallia murmured without taking her eyes off the tall Tower before her.

"Kali…" Alistair started, though he seemed unsure of what he was supposed to do it was clear he wanted to comfort her in some way. His mouth opened and closed several times as he tried to come up with words to say. But Kallia just reached out and squeezed his hand. He relaxed at her touch, glad that she knew what he had meant, even if it could not put it to words.

Once the elf had released his hand, the group began making their way across the long walkway. The seemingly harmless skeletons came to life at started shooting arrows at them and the companions fell into formation best they could on the narrow passageway.

"Traps, watch out!" Leliana pulled back on Alistair's armor just before the Templar's foot hit the trap. "I'll trip them if you cover me."

The ice and snow didn't seem to bother the skeletons as they came running towards the group, blades drawn. Alistair knocked aside the first blade that came towards him with his shield, while Kallia hit them with her staff. The mage suddenly lost her footing slipped on the ice, and the skeleton was able to knock the staff right out of her hands. Without thinking the mage held out her hand and sent an Arcane Bolt at the undead, turning it to dust.

Zevran came out of the shadows and held out his hand to help her up. "You must careful, Warden," his voice was muffled by the scarf. "There is ice on the stones."

The elf looked baffled as to why there would be ice when she hadn't cast any, forgetting the events outside the cave only the day before.

Leliana took a step back to be able to get a better angle to aim, her foot hit something solid and cold. The bard looked down and saw something sticking out of the snow. She bend to pick it up and immediately dropped it, it felt like she just touched a piece of ice. Leliana bend to pick it up again, this time making sure the leather on her gloves touched it instead of her exposed fingers.

It was a staff!

The red head looked toward their mage, she was holding her own against a skeleton with her feeble dagger skills, but just barely. "Kali!" The bard called over to her. "Catch!" she said and tossed her the staff.

The mage easily caught it and shouted her thanks to the bard. The moment she grasped it, she could feel the power surging through it. This was an excellent staff and her magic easily flowed through it as though she'd been using it for years.

She could feel the cold emanating from the very core of the staff as it shared with her the remnants of magic from its last owner.

"There's more coming from the way we came, Warden!" Zevran shouted. With a sudden burst of strength, Kallia twisted her body and sent the skeleton trying to pin her over the edge of the wall. The sound of its icy bones shattering hundreds of feet below was lost to the wind and the sounds of battle. Kallia turned her attention to the door they had come through and could already feel the ripples in the Veil from the demons and the clank of the armor from the undead skeletons.

A skeleton tried to sneak up on Alistair, but a swing of her new staff froze it in place as Alistair quickly shattered it with his shield before running to take on a group that were out numbering Zevran. "How many?" she shouted back.

"Too many," Leliana answered as she ran from her place by the door. "I barred the door to buy us some time but we need to retreat!"

The elf looked around for any path they could retreat but there was only the locked door.

"Alistair, you need to break down the door," she ordered and turned her attention to the skeleton that had taken notice of Leliana.

"Bit busy at the moment," he shouted back as he tried to fight three fanged skeletons.

"Zevran-"

"I already tried, my Warden. It is barred, not locked," he called over his shoulder.

She muttered a curse under her breath as she realized they couldn't wait for Alistair to break down the door. A large crack was already appearing in the door behind them and more enemies were going to rush the walkway very soon.

"No choice," she muttered quietly and began tugging and pulling the threads around her. She wove them as fast as her fingers could move. A tiny tug on the Veil behind her indicated a demon and she sidestepped just as Zevran sent its head rolling. Every second the flaming ball in her hands grew larger and finally, as she tucked the last thread in place she shouted, "Look out!" and launched it at the door. It splintered into a hundred pieces sending a rain of splintered wood in all directions as the companions made a run at the now open entryway.

"Maybe we should have found another way through besides blowing up the door, yes?" Zevran yelled as he ducked to avoid a rather large chunk of flaming wood.

Leliana spun around, notched an arrow in one smooth movement, and took aim at the doorway. She wait patiently for the demons to come through the archways, the small entrance would bottleneck the creatures allowing the bard to pick them off. Another minute passed and nothing came through the stone archway. The redhead lowered her bow an inch, "Something is wrong, they are not following us."

"That can't be right," the Templar almost skipped to a stop. "They were almost on top of us, it has to be a trick."

Zevran slipped into the shadows and crept to the door. Demons and skeletons were pacing just beyond the threshold of the door but, despite looking very annoyed at having lost their prey… they were making no move to follow the small group.

.oO***Oo.

_[1] gambeson – the padding worn beneath armor_

_So I'd like to make a comment about Sophia's armor if I might :) Originally my plan had been "no magically gender-changing armor" but well the chance to make a joke of Alistair in women's armor was too much to pass up! I always found it hilarious that they never made any comment in the game how you can take armor that was very obviously a woman's and put it on a man and it would just fit, this is my little call out to that. _


	53. The Old Mage's Tower

_Hello Readers!_

_I haven't forgotten you, I promise. But I'm trying to get a bit more of a buffer-zone between where you are and where I am. I typically like to keep three chapters between us so that I can go back and fix things that need to be tweaked if it ends up not fitting. Anyway, for the last few chapters you've been catching up faster than I had a chance to write and got dangerously close to breaking into my buffer zone. _

_That said, I made progress and actually finished two chapters this week :) Guess I just needed a bit of a spur in the ass .;_

_But I want to thank all of you for sticking by this story even though it hasn't been as reliably updated recently. And to those of you just joining us, I hope the sporadic updates for the next while won't put you off too badly._

_Thank you for reviewing rebelgoddess19, Kira Kyuuketsuki, Raven Jadewolfe, Jessie Arr, and fujingodofwind. And of course, thank you to my ever loyal stalker/beta fishy Evalyne._

_Just a quick plug for her story then I'll let you get on with the chapter :) You should read her story Abandoned Sanctuary that I've been betaing since she began it. If Stars is my baby than AS is hers... Which makes me its aunt... And you wouldn't tell me you don't want to meet my beloved neice/nephew, would you? **Would** you? _

_Anyway, any joy this next chapter :) I'll try to get you another one next week, but at the very least I promise to have one to you within two weeks. _

.oO***Oo.

The small group all stood looking at each other for a moment.

"S-so what do we do now?" Levi stuttered, asking the question they all were wondering.

"That would depend entirely on what is keeping them out and whether or not it will hold, yes?" Zevran answered.

"Do you have any idea what it could be, Kali?" Leliana asked and all eyes turned to the elf who'd been surprisingly quiet. She was sitting on the bottom step with her arms wrapped around herself. Her blank stare wouldn't have been overly concerning were it not for the bluish tinge to her lips and the way her whole body seemed to shake. "Kali?" the bard asked again to catch the mage's attention. The young elf's eyes focused on the redhead.

Kallia didn't say a word as Alistair slipped one of his gauntlets off and touched her hand. "Maker! You're hands are like ice!"

The moment the warrior's hand touched hers she pressed her skin against his, curling both her hands into a tiny ball that nearly fit in his palm. He quickly slipped his other gauntlet off and wrapped both his hands around hers.

"I thought magic would keep you warm," Leliana said, though it came out as more of a question.

"It does, but it can only do so much and it was much colder out there than it was before," Kallia responded.

"But you've been lower on magic than you are now and weren't shivering..." Alistair stated, rubbing her fingers vigorously while Levi removed his cloak and wrapped it around the shivering elf.

"It was much colder outside than inside," Zevran answered for her. "She probably had just enough to keep her warm before, yes?"

"But it would have been just as cold inside as out," Leliana frowned. "The only fire burning in the entire Peak was the one in Sophia's office… There wasn't anyone to keep a fire going anywhere else."

Kallia shook her head, "But there were rage demons. They manifest as pure fire and produce a lot of heat. There are no demons of any kind here at all."

"Why?" Alistair asked, disappointed when the elf pulled her hands from his. She pointed to intricate black drawings along the walls that encircled the entire room.

"Because we're protected," she replied and started taking off the cloak Levi had given to her.

"Keep it, Warden. I grew up in these temperatures. I'm used to it," he replied.

Kallia's hands dropped from her neck to hold the thick cloak tightly around her as she nodded her thanks to the merchant. "They won't follow us. We move forward," she told them and moved towards the staircase. Using her hand to cover an amused smile as Alistair automatically fell into step beside her muttering about mages and towers and their ungodly amount of stairs…

.oO***Oo.

Kallia relaxed as they began their ascent up the spiraling staircases. If she closed her eyes, it almost felt like she was home again. More like home than the Tower had felt the last time she'd been there, anyway. Within the protection of the black circles, the Veil was more intact than she had felt for days. The elf couldn't help but ignore everything around her and focus on the feeling of Veil. The way it rippled and swayed… It was almost as though it was coming to life around her and her companions.

She reached out her arm from the protective warmth of the cloak around her shoudlers and lightly ran her fingers along the Veil, just enjoying the feel of it under her fingertips. To her companions it looks as though she were running her hands along an invisible wall or barrier that only she could see but if they found it odd, they said nothing.

.oO***Oo.

Every floor the companions checked was emptier than the last.

While the lower stories of the tower contained bedrooms and libraries that had obviously been lived in regularly at some point (even if it had been over a century since they'd seen any sign of life), the upper stories seemed almost bare. After a certain point the rooms didn't even have windows.

When the companions began passing through rooms filled with several cages large enough to hold humans, the companions looked at each other with worry. Kallia had simply pulled her cloak around her tighter and tried to push back the faces of fellow Wardens that had been kept in those cages. She had no memories of their names, only the number assigned to them and the combination of substances in the concoction that had killed them.

Avernus had lived on the top floor and had so many shields and wards setup on the lower floors that none of the Warden's even tried to come up. The empty floors were a sound buffer, for all his skills with science he'd never been able to maintain a simple silencing spell.

The elf shook her head and put all her attention towards her companions. "We're nearly at the top," she commented as they reached a room with high windows all around.

"How do you know?" Alistair asked curiously looking around as though he'd find a large map of the tower with a big arrow that said _You are here_.

"This room looks pretty much the same as the others," Leliana commented.

The elf paused to point out the row of high windows around the top. "No windows, then a row of small ones was nearly at the top of the tower when we were looking at it from the outside," she explained.

A quick glance at her companions confirmed that the Templar and bard seemed to have believed her story. Zevran, on the other hand was looking at her with an almost curious expression. He knew she was lying, he couldn't possibly know what about or why, but he knew that she was.

And she was _mostly_ convinced he wouldn't say anything.

.oO***Oo.

The Warden was becoming more and more uncomfortable the closer to the top of the tower they got. Her steps were becoming more hesitant. Though he was sure the two humans in the group dismissed it as simply tiring out, Zevran could tell the difference between tired and hesitating.

This added to the fact that she had lied about how she knew they were at the top… Her explanation had been feasible, to be sure, but not for her. She was not the type that would have noticed the pattern of the windows.

Zevran wasn't going to say anything to the two humans about it though. Not until he had more information about how exactly his fellow elf had acquired this knowledge, at least. It would do no good to make accusations; he was still on rocky ground with the Templar, after all. Until then, she was entitled to her secret.

Still, he was not entirely sure what to think or what was going on and that was never a situation he enjoyed being in.

But he had at least learned enough by now to know to go along with it. He might not like not knowing, but she wouldn't intentionally endanger them, especially not with her Templar among their ranks.

But the lie itself still begged the question of _Why_.

Why did she lie? More importantly, _how_ could she possibly have known the layout of the tower?

.oO***Oo.

Kallia stopped at the top of the stairs.

This was it.

This was the room where so many Warden's had died in ways no one should have to.

She almost didn't dare to step over the threshold for fear that the memories that she was trying so hard to ignore might overwhelm her.

She jumped when she felt a light hand on her shoulder and Leliana jerked her hand back instantly. "Is everything alright, Kali?" she asked.

"There's extra warding around this room, I was trying to see if I could tell what was in there," Kallia told her. It wasn't entirely a lie. There really was extra warding around the room (the kind of wards that _should_ have worn of long ago) and she really couldn't tell anything through them. The special wards acted as a wall, keeping her blind as to what the Veil looked like beyond the room they were in. It was as though it suddenly vanished a foot away from the door.

"Is there something dangerous inside?" Alistair asked, already reaching for his sword and shield.

"There could be," Kallia replied with a sigh. "I just can't tell."

"Well," the Templar started, tightening his grip on his weapon. "There's only one way to find out."

He stepped passed Kallia and before she could voice the warning that the wards could be dangerous, he'd already reached his hand across the threshold to grab the door handle. He froze for a moment, waiting for doom to wreak it's vengeance upon them, but after several seconds nothing happened.

He looked over at Kallia and, with a shrug, opened the door.


	54. Blood Magic

_Good lord, it has been a busy weekend. _

_Anyway, I really want to thank you guys for your patience and loyalty while I'm not updating as regularly as I'd like to be able to. Thank you to Kira Kyuuketsuki, Raeshall, and Raven Jadewolfe for reviewing. _

_Anyway, you've waited patiently for this chapter so I'll shut up and let you read it. _

.oO***Oo.

Kallia followed Alistair as he walked through the doorway. They waited for all four of their companions to be through the door before moving forward, but Kallia was confused.

The Veil around them was not as it had been outside the wards. There it was untouched, as though it hadn't been used for years. But within the wards, she could see places where the Veil had been used but not yet healed… This confused her because this meant that they Veil had been used recently in this room _by a mage_.

With a frown, she caught her companions' attention and put a finger to her lips in a shushing motion. Zevran and Leliana went up on the balls of their feet and moved to the front but the only effect this had on Alistair was that he flinched at the noise his armor made every time he took a step. He sent Kallia a pleading look and, though she sent him an amused one back, she wiggled her fingers so that a one-way silencing spell formed around him.

His mouth moved but no sound reached her ears. Kallia smiled and turned her attention back to the room around them.

"I feel the weaving of a young mageling," an echo resounded from the end of the room. The companions all paused, Zevran slipping into the shadows. Kallia pursed her lips indignantly.

"I am no mageling," she warned loudly, stomping her foot in the process. "I am a Grey Warden and a Senior Enchanter of the Tower of Magi."

"Do not break my concentration," the voice snapped, "I will deal with you in a moment."

Kallia felt a tug on her sleeve that she knew had to be Zevran pulling her towards one end of the room. The slight pressure released as soon as they were in view of a man standing over a table at one end of the large room. She marched forward to the bottom of the stairs, still slightly indignant at being called a mageling.

"There is a tear in the Veil the size of a dining hall not even 300 feet away and you are not in the middle of a spell. You can deal with us _now_," she ordered.

The mage let off an annoyed sigh and straightened his back, "Clearly they have ceased to teach respect for your elders at the Tower of Magi."

"They teach respect for understanding and control. Neither of which have you demonstrated," Kallia paused before adding, "Avernus."

She saw him tense with surprise and held back a smirk. That voice echoed in her mind, filling it with memories that didn't belong to her to the point that she would recognize it as easily as her own. He turned to look at her, his face was much older than the one from the memories in her head but still was far younger than he should have been. She didn't know how he was still alive after a century, but she intended to find out.

If nothing else, the taint should have taken him by now.

"Even now the demons seek to replenish their numbers, I suppose you are to thank for this welcome yet temporary imbalance," he stated, looking her over disbelievingly.

"Not alone," she answered indicating her two visible companions with her hands. "I had a bit of help."

"Oh yes, of course. There was a second elf in your party, wasn't there? Where is he?"

"Around," Kallia replied in a clipped tone, seeing the Zevran shaped shadow flicker for a moment behind the old mage and knowing that was Zevran's way of letting her know exactly where he was. "For a man who's been locked in his tower for a hundred years you seem rather well informed," she pointed out.

"I have a way of knowing things. And what of you? How did you know who I was? As you pointed out, I have been locked away in this tower for a century."

"I also have a way of knowing things," she answered with a secretive smile.

.oO***Oo.

"I am no mageling! I am a Grey Warden and a Senior Enchanter of the Tower of Magi!"

"And the Warden Commander of Ferelden," Alistair added helpfully but was surprised when no one responded to his comment. "Kali?" he asked, looking around at everyone, but Kallia's only response was to begin walking off in a random direction. Leliana followed but kept her distance to watch Kallia's back.

"Guys?" Alistair asked, wishing his voice hadn't taken on panicky tone. Because he wasn't panicking. That was ridiculous. He was just… acting under duress…Yeah, that was it. Not panicking. Not panicking in the least.

He jumped up and down and waved his arms a bit but Leliana was too focused on Kallia and the old mage to notice him and he was standing too far behind Kallia for her to even see him. The elder mage was purposefully ignoring him, his eyes flickering between Leliana and Kallia. Every once in a while he'd scan the whole room, no doubt searching for Zevran, and his eyes would land on Alistair with the tiniest of smirks before searching again.

For a moment, he considered just dispelling the silencing bubble around him but he had no idea how far the effect would go and he wasn't willing to let it to affect Kallia.

Not with a potential danger so close.

He also didn't want to just walk into her range of vision because she looked tense enough to attack any sudden movements and he didn't really want to be at the end of one of her spells or even the small dagger strapped to her leg, poorly skilled with it as she was. Looking around for something that could catch her attention, he found a small pebble in the middle of the floor.

He chucked the stone at the wall behind the mage but was rather surprised when it stopped just short of it with a muffled grunt Zevran appeared from where the rock had hit rubbing his forehead.

"What is it with you people and throwing rocks at me? I have done nothing to deserve a stoning, at least not recently and not in this country. Warden, your Templar wants your attention," he stated Kallia suddenly turned her eyes to Alistair who was gesturing around him emphatically and appeared to be shouting at the top of his lungs.

Kallia wiggled her fingers and Alistair's voice filled the air, "-AND I HAVE SWEATY BOOT RASH!"

Zevran snickered as he slipped back into the shadows, "That is not something I would tell the woman I was trying to woo, my dear Templar," Alistair jumped as Zevran's voice seemed to come from right next to him, but he shook his head and dismissed it as his imagination before turning his attention to the elderly mage who was watching the entire thing with an expression of mild boredom.

"How do we know you aren't possessed?" Alistair demanded.

"A Templar?" Avernus eyed the young man with undisguised distain. "How charming… My body is sustained from a similar source as Sophia's but my mind and my volition remain intact. If you don't believe me ask you mage friend, there. Certainly she can recognize an abomination as easily as you can… Probably _more_ accurately as she lacks the prejudice of a Templar. "

Alistair looked to Kallia for confirmation but she had her eyes trained on Avernus. "I can only recognize the most obvious ones," she muttered under her breath to him. "I don't think he is but the more clever demons can disguise themselves very well. On the other hand, he isn't decomposing like Sophia was. You can tell that by just the smell."

Avernus gave Kallia a disinterested half-glare, "Oh you've met dear old Sophia, have you? I thought I recognized the Templar's armor. Does he always dress in women's clothing or just their armor?" The older mage let off a dramatic sigh at Kallia's carefully blank face, "Why are you here? What is your purpose?"

"We came to reclaim the Warden base," Leliana offered from her place behind Kallia before the elf could mention Levi. The merchant had found a hiding place the moment Kallia had motioned for silence and it was best to keep the non-fighter a secret.

"An admirable goal, if it's true," he eyed Leliana and turned to look at Zevran, "Though, with two Wardens in your group, it is at least a _believable_ lie."

"How do you know we're Wardens?" Alistair and Kallia questioned at the same time, instantly defensive. Leliana bite her lip in order to stop a giggle from spilling over as she still held her bow at the ready. .

"A combination of my research and pure skill," Avernus stated in a rather proud tone. "Though, admittedly any Warden could learn to do it. But even without that, only two Grey Wardens would be able to enter the Soldier's Peak at all, or have you forgotten the lock I placed on the front door? In order for you to take back the Peak, the demons must be cut off forever."

"I cannot seal the Veil alone," Kallia pointed out.

"You were foolish to even try, _mageling,_" he replied and Kallia narrowed her eyes, though whether it was suspicion or anger that caused her to do so was unclear and no one was standing close enough to feel the heat emanating from her.

"I wasn't trying to seal it, I was shifting it closer so I could cast a spell and kill the demons," she responded, coldly adding, "Demons that _you_ unleashed."

Avernus let off an exasperated sigh. "We have no time or attention for blame. If you wish the Veil to be sealed then it must be done so quickly," he stated pointedly.

"How do we know you won't just turn and run the moment the fight gets a bit rough?" Alistair demanded.

"You abandoned Sophia and your loyalty ran much deeper for her than us," Leliana added, her arrow still trained on the blood mage's chest.

"No," Kallia stated simply and all eyes turned to her curiously, "He has no loyalty for anyone but himself. Sophia was little more than a pawn to him." The companions all stared at Kallia. It was easy to see she was straining to keep pure hatred from showing. Confusion filled the faces of all but the two mages as Kallia continued, "It's mages like you that give us a bad name. People hold you up and think all mages are like that. Do you know how many children have become abominations or Tranquil because they were so scarred by the rejection they faced once their magic became known? It's because of mages like you that _children_ arrive at the Tower starved, beaten, and terrified." The young elf's voice had fallen to a barely restrained sneer by this point and her companions were forced to wonder just how many magelings never actually made it to the Tower if the ones that did were in such bad shape for Kallia's voice to contain such venom.

"What I did was necessary-" Avernus started but Alistair quickly interrupted.

"Necessary? Having to relieve yourself after an eight hour ride is _necessary_," the Templar quickly pointed out. "But there's _noooo_ excuse for summoning demons or abandoning your Brothers."

Avernus gave Alistair a bored glance, "I see that only childish teachings will work for you. _He who fights and runs away may turn to fight another day, but he that is in battle slain will never rise to fight again._ Perhaps that old adage will get through to you," he commented but when Alistair's glare didn't lessen any the mage finished, "No, apparently not. Had I stayed to fight at Sophia's side that day, there would have been no one to restrict the demons to the Peak. They would have had run of the world by now. Would you have preferred that, little Templar?"

"You shouldn't have summoned them in the first place!" Alistair shouted.

Avernus brought his hand to his head and muttered under his breath, "Perhaps it would have been better if you'd kept that silencing spell around you." The older mage turned his attention back to Kallia, giving up on reasoning with the Templar and recognizing she was the one in charge anyway, "In order to achieve our goal sacrifices had to be made. 'Whatever it takes,' as a _Warden_ you should know that."

Kallia seemed to freeze in place at his words. _Whatever it takes_ had stuck a cord with her it seemed. The anger drained out of her but the accusation remained, "I believe the saying is, 'Whatever it takes _to end the Blight_.' "

Avernus shrugged. "We had no Blight, only a few scattered darkspawn, but we couldn't even fight those with that Tyrant Arland in control."

"What you did here was wrong, only a monster would sacrifice his fellow Wardens the way you did. You're no better than the demons," Kallia accused coldly and Alistair suddenly got the distinct feeling that they weren't just talking about how Avernus had run from the battle. It seemed Avernus understood whatever hidden meaning Kallia had though, and the fight suddenly drained out of him, leaving him looking very much like the frail hundred year old man that he was.

"It was inevitable that there would be… calculation errors," he lowered himself to sit on the stairs with a quiet grunt. "Please, let me undo my greatest of mistakes. Let me cleanse this place. Then…" the old mage hung his head slightly and closed his eyes, "Then I will accept whatever justice you feel I merit."

Alistair opened his mouth to answer, but Kallia quickly cut him off with a quiet, "The time for questions and accusations is over."

Avernus opened his eyes and raised his head to look at her, "If justice or vengeance drives you, I beg you to stay your hand until the demons are defeated and the Veil is sealed."

"We are allies until then, I make no promises for after," Kallia responded.


	55. Hidden Agenda

_Good Lord, I'm so exhausted! I'm about ready to slam my head into my desk and just take a nap. It's been a very busy time for your favoritest writer… I'm completely re-doing my chruch's website and need to have it finished by the end of June (not that I'm complaining, I volunteered for this and I do enjoy programming…. It's just so much __**work**__ :P also very time consuming). The site's going to be awesome though… I'll send ya'll a link when we get it all published. We also have a bazaar on Saturday and I'm making some jewelry to put in the silent auction to raise money._

_Busy, busy, busy!_

_Anyway, thank you to Raven Jadewolfe, Sasuke's Kanojo, Kira Kyuuketsuki, avekay for reviewing this week :D_

_Reviews are like fuel that keeps me awake to get all my stuff done so I can have more time to work on chapters…. Well….. That and coffee. _

.oO***Oo.

_**(Last Chapter)**_

_**Avernus opened his eyes and raised his head to look at her, "If justice or vengeance drives you, I beg you to stay your hand until the demons are defeated and the Veil is sealed."**_

"_**We are allies until then, I make no promises for after," Kallia responded. **_

Avernus stood, his face determined. It was plainly clear that the cogs in his head were turning as he began forming a plan of action. Kallia motioned to Leliana to lower her bow and Zevran stepped from the shadows next to the bard.

"We need to have a plan," Kallia stated, turning her attention to her companions. "The demons will do doubt try to stop us from sealing the Veil."

Kallia walked to one of the many tables in the room and pulled her journal as well as writing utensils from her pack. She began sketching out a rough drawing of the room, ignoring the questioning looks from the others as to how she could remember the layout so accurately after only being in the room for a very short period of time twice before.

"The center of the tear is here," she marked a point in the center of the room, "That's where Avernus and I will have to stand to repair it."

"Sealing it will require all of our concentration. We will not be able to defend ourselves," Avernus added, "That will fall to you." His tone held a small amount of disbelief, as though to say_ I can't believe we're relying on you lot_.

The companions all studied the map carefully until finally Leliana spoke. "This will be the best position for me. It gives me the high ground and the bottle neck at the stairs will give me a chance to pick off any demons that try to attack me," she pointed at a dais that was raised above the rest.

"It's probably best that I stay near where you are," Alistair told Kallia but then rushed to add, "T-to distract any demons that get too close, I mean." Kallia gave the Templar an amused smile but his face fell as a thought occurred to him, "But if I'm too close I could accidently dispel what you're doing…"

"We will be standing in a protective within a protective barrier the darkspawn blood provides," the elder mage saw the younger man's jaw tighten when the implication of blood magic being used was mentioned. "It is the best way to assure the demons will not be able to affect our concentration and it will allow you to fight near us without worrying about interrupting us. Your Templar abilities should not affect us unless you cross into the circle," Avernus stated in a condescending tone that indicated the Templar should have already known that.

Alistair opened his mouth to argue but Kallia spoke before he could, "I noticed that you're spells didn't affect me when we were fighting before Alistair," she reassured him but then turned a stern eye to Avernus, "You'll need to pay more attention this time. This whole mess occurred in the first place because you didn't watch where your magic was going."

The other mage bristled at being scolded like a child. "I assure you I will not make any mistakes this time," he responded her tersely.

"Being overconfident will only cause more problems," Kallia told him sharply. A glance at Alistair told her that he was not handling the attitude of the blood mage very well, so she subtly rested her hand on the Templar's arm, hoping to calm him. The action did not go unnoticed by the blood mage, and the curious look he gave them only served to set the Templar off.

"But what if a demon gets through?" Alistair demanded, worry over Kallia suddenly becoming anger at the elder mage. "What if one gets through and it does that shield thing? You two will be unable to defend yourself and we won't be able to get through to help you!"

The mage arched an eyebrow at the Templar's strong reaction to the elf's potential danger, one that was uncommon. _Unless_… turning a calculating eye to Kallia's hand resting on Alistair's arm, he made the connection and filed it away for later use. "It was a trap designed for Arland's men. A mage can pass through the barrier unharmed, since Arland had no mages. However a regular human would be trapped, in or out. As a Templar it _shouldn't_ affect you," he explained slowly, unwilling to admit he didn't know.

"It trapped me out when Kallia was sealed in," Alistair told him with a glare and gritted teeth.

"Well then, you'll simply have to prevent any demons from getting through," Avernus answered.

"That is where I come in, yes?" Zevran interrupted. "I will pick off any excessive demons from our feisty Templar and, should he fail to attract their attention with his charming smile, I can keep them off the shield as well, no?" He sidled up to Leliana, "And do not worry, my Orlesian mistress, I shall keep your _flank_ free from those evil demons as well!" The bard gave him an unimpressed look but lingered a moment longer than necessary before taking a small step away from him. The assassin smirked, but didn't move to follow.

"You Antivans are all the same," Avernus muttered in disgust and turned away to root through a chest nearby. Finding what he was looking for, he stood and tossed a rather non-descript looking bag to Zevran, the assassin caught it easily. "Perhaps those will be of use to you. I'm afraid I was never able to decrypt them."

The assassin arched an eyebrow and opened the bag. It contained several dried plants and liquids of various colors and consistencies as well as a leather scroll tube. Avernus went back to digging through the chest while Zevran turned his attention to the contents of the bag. All of the companions watched in rapt silence as he carefully inspected the leather tube, running his fingers over the whole thing gently.

"Why don't you just open it?" Alistair asked, "It doesn't even have a lock on it or anything…"

The elf didn't answer him, instead he placed his fingers at seemingly random locations squeezed. An almost inaudible click was heard and the bottom of the container popped open. Avernus suddenly lost interest in whatever he was looking for as he began to pay attention to what the elf was doing. The mage narrowed his eyes and muttered something under his breath.

Zevran carefully pulled a several aged pieces of velum from the tube. He flattened the paper on the table next to where he had placed the bag. It looked to be nothing more than gibberish and random symbols to the rest of the companions, but it must have meant something to the assassin because he turned suspicious eyes to Avernus, who was now trying to look over the paper with interest.

"Where did you get these?" Zevran asked in an even tone.

"Sophia heard of a group of assassins in Antiva. She approached them for assistance in dealing with Arland. Unfortunately, they were already under his employ and refused to break their contract with him. One of his subordinates did not agree, however. We did not know that he had sent his best assassin to follow us until we arrived back at the Peak and found her casually warming herself by the fire in Sophia's office," Avernus explained and reached across the table for one of the sheets.

Zevran slammed his hand on the table, purposefully spreading his fingers over the paper and obscuring the words from view. "Crows do not write down their recipes. They memorize them," he told the mage, his tone becoming slightly colder. His companions remained silent. Alistair opened his mouth several times to ask questions but each time Kallia or Leliana would pinch him and he'd be distracted long enough to forget his question. Avernus withdrew his hand at the deadly glare the assassin sent him.

"Carmen was going to send it to her _Master_, whatever that means, but Arland attacked. She could have left us. She was perfectly capable of sneaking past the kings men and she'd been through the caves enough time to have the route memorized," Avernus shook his head. "She was a fool who allowed the loyalty she developed for Sophia override her better judgment," he sighed and sent one more glance at the papers under Zevran's hand, clearly realizing whatever knowledge was to be had there was lost to him.

The older mage walked to a nearby cupboard and pulled out two vials filled with a blue liquid. He downed one then offered the second to Kallia. The young elf just stared at the blue liquid, from the corner of her eye she had seen both Zevran and Leliana tense the moment the blue liquid had been held out to her.

"I have my own Lyrium potions," she informed the other mage, though she made no move to get one of her own out. The two rogues relaxed at her words, clearly relieved she wasn't going to be putting any more questionable substances in her body.

Avernus's face took a look of mild amusement, "_We are allies_, I believe were your words."

"Unfortunately for you, we've seen how you treat your allies," Leliana responded with narrowed eyes, her tone clearly held a warning.

Avernus looked at the bottle in amusement, "It is not poisoned, if that is what you are implying. Drink one of your own if you prefer, I'd like to get this over with as quickly as possible."

"_As quickly as possible_ has proven to be a rather poor battle strategy and this is too important to risk losing," Kallia commented. "It isn't necessary to drink one of those yet and, seeing as I have a particular dislike for them, I'll hold off for now. First, we should make sure we have everything we need."

"We should eat too," Leliana stated, already digging into her pack for ingredients to make their dinner.

"I'm _starving_," Alistair added, "Especially after such a long walk up all those stairs. I'll cook if-"

"No!" three voices simultaneously cut him off rather loudly causing Leliana to giggle at his deflated face.

Kallia scrambled for something to cheer him up with but was amazed when Zevran beat her to it, "Do not be offended, my dear Templar, for they simply understand that I require your invaluable assistance sorting out the loot."

"Riiiight," Alistair answered as he rolled his eyes. Still, he moved over to where the assassin stood.

Kallia glanced between the two men. Something had changed, Alistair's unending distrust of the assassin seemed to have lessened somewhat. The mage was glad for the change but could only wonder at what had caused it as the two men began pulling items out of all four companion's packs.

Avernus let off a dramatic sigh, "As we will not be making any progress in the near future, come here and I will repair your shoulder."

Kallia hesitated, still not trusting the other mage. "My shoulder isn't injured," she answered him, though his comment had reminded her of the dull ache she had, thus far, managed to ignore.

"Lying doesn't become you, mageling. You are the one that is so determined to go into this battle fully prepared, that includes healing injuries… minor as they are. Now sit down so I can repair the damage," he ordered and pointed to a stool in front of him.

"It isn't necessary, my shoulder is fine as it is and I have other things to do to prepare," Kallia answered, turning to put her ink and journal away. The moment she turned her back to him, Avernus put his hand on her bad shoulder. She flinched slightly and jerked away from him.

"Avernus…" she practically growled in warning.

"Warden," he replied coolly, one hand subtly disappearing behind his back as the other motioned towards the stool again.

For a moment, she was far angrier than her companions had ever seen her but the young elf closed her eyes and, after a moment, her fists unclenched and her face drained of all emotion. When she opened her eyes, she dumbly made her way to the stool he had indicated.

Avernus placed his fingers over the small hole the arrow had made in her robes. "This might sting a bit," he warned an instant before blinding pain erupted from her shoulder. Her knuckles went white from her grip on the stool she sat on and she bit her lip to keep from crying out. It only lasted a few moments, but those moments seemed to stretch on for hours as she literally felt every cell and nerve spark to life as if waking from a deep slumber and begin to regenerate.

Avernus had finished the task and removed his hand by the time Alistair had even opened his mouth to protest. Seeing the mage back off, the Templar opted to check on Kallia before resuming his yelling. She hadn't seemed to notice the blood beginning to drip from where she was biting her lip though her grip had at least loosened a bit on the stool.

Slowly, Kallia turned her eyes to Avernus with a glare. "Why…" she brought her hand to her mouth in surprise as she tasted blood, though she looked unconcerned as her shaking fingers came away from her lips red. Instead she turned her gaze back to Avernus and repeated, "Why would anyone prefer that over healing? That was worse than the small ache that was wrong with it…"

"You removed a barbed arrow from your shoulder. Because of the way you healed it, you would have had a slightly reduced flexibility with that shoulder as well as suffered that ache for years, if not the rest of your life," Avernus replied coolly. "I have done you a favor so if you would kindly call off your assassin, I would greatly appreciate it."

Kallia and Alistair both glanced around the room in momentary confusion. Leliana had crossed the room, notched an arrow, and aimed it at Avernus but Zevran was nowhere to be found. Kallia looked at Avernus again and saw it, the tiniest shimmer of a dagger held against the mages throat. Kallia sighed and rested her head on the Templar kneeling in front of her.

"I'm fine, Zevran. You can let him go," she muttered. It was muffled but loud enough the other elf was able to make it out and as he removed his dagger from the blood mage's throat and stepped from the shadows Avernus gave him an almost amused glance.

"All Antivans really are the same, aren't they?" he chuckled at his own private joke before turning to look at Kallia's sagging form. "The healing will leave you quite exhausted. You should probably get some sleep while the rest of us go about preparing for the fight," he informed her.

Her whole body sagged against Alistair, nearly falling off her seat, but her muffled voice quickly protested, "I need to stay awake to help…"

Hesitantly, Alistair's arms came up around the mage, picking her off the stool and cradling her against his chest.

"You will be of little use to us as you are," Avernus replied, earning himself a glare from the Templar, and turned to shuffle through papers on the desk.

Kallia didn't answer, she'd already gone limp in Alistair's arms as the three companions turned suspicious gazes to the blood mage.

His back was to them otherwise they would have seen the barely repressed smirk that covered his face.

.oO***Oo.

Leliana made sure Alistair was distracted with Kallia and was out of earshot before she made her way over to Zevran. The Templar lacked any sort of subtlety and this was a conversation that needed to be handled delicately.

The assassin made no acknowledgement of her as she approached him and began digging through her pack that he just so happened to have situated himself near. She saw his eyes flick to the blood mage, scribbling frantically in a book at a table across the room.

"The Warden's shoulder was healing fine, no?" he asked.

"You got a better look at it than any of us," the bard murmured quietly in response. For the briefest of moments, she saw a frown flicker over the assassin's face but it lasted only a second before it was gone.

He seemed to be considering all possible outcomes, but finally nodded his head once before casting a cautious glance at the blood mage. "It would have healed fine. No limited mobility as he claimed," he confirmed.

Leliana kept fought not to look at Avernus as well as she finally pulled out the spice bag that she had pretended to be looking for. "Then what did he want with Kali?" she wondered, glancing up at him.

"That, my fair Orlesian flower, is something I cannot answer," the assassin's face fell into a smirk and his eyes took on a mischievous light as he added, "_Yet_."


	56. Broment

_So the bazaar was somewhat a success. We actually made some money which was good and I sold one of my bookmarks :D_

_http : / / janecshannon . deviantart . com / gallery / # / d374spy_

_Anyway that you to Kira Kyuuketsuki, avekay, Raven Jadewolfe, fujingodofwind for reviewing this week._

_Hmm, what could Avernus be up to? Don't worry, things will become clearer soon… Though you might end up hating him more than you thought you could. If nothing else, I seem to be very good at making hated characters even more disliked. _

_Anyway, enjoy this chapter. _

.oO***Oo.

It was obvious the old mage was used to having a Crow around.

He knew that it would be harder for Zevran to get anywhere near him if he avoided the shadows (not impossible, just harder). Needless to say Avernus's desk was well away from the wall with plenty of brightly lit lamps around him.

Cautiously, silently, the assassin stepped out of the darkest shadows and into the lighter areas where he was at far greater risk for being noticed. The assassin did not yet know if the blood mage had eyes sharp enough to notice him or not. Only the keenest of eyes could and Avernus's eyes were over a hundred years old.

He paused for a moment, waiting for a reaction on the part of the mage, but it seemed Avernus was too caught up in his endless scribbles to notice anything. He hadn't even noticed Zevran was no long amongst his companions. Mistakes happened when you got cocky but this was almost too easy!

The assassin managed to sneak behind the mage without any reaction. His eyes quickly took in as much information as they could, not so much focusing on the actual meaning of the words, as much as memorizing the image in front of him in the sort span of time as he could, so he could recall it later (a trick the youngest Crow initiates are taught) before a large hand obscured the still drying ink from his view.

"You know, it is amazing how loud a heartbeat sounds when you listen for it," Avernus spoke quietly, only loud enough for someone standing right next to him to hear. Zevran tensed but otherwise made no reaction to the words. "Did you know that a blood mage can feel the blood as it flows around them? Only the _most_ experienced, of course, but I am one of them. It's useful when you want to use someone else's blood for a spell instead of your own."

The assassin took several steps backward and slipped back into the shadows just in time before the blood mage turned around to focus on a spot just to Zevran's left.

"You would not let me read your scroll, Crow. Why would I let you read mine?" he asked then, realizing he'd get no answer from the assassin, he turned back to his work. Zevran knew better than to push his luck for a second look and instead crept along the walls until he found a nice spot to slip from the shadows and rejoin his companions.

.oO***Oo.

Leliana watched Zevran intently from the corner of her eye. His eyes were closed and he seemed to be considering something very carefully. Zevran's earlier disappearance had not gone unnoticed and she'd seen the flicker of shadow, that most would have dismissed as a trick of the light, around Avernus several minutes before Zevran had reappeared.

Had it not been for her bardic training and the fact that she happened to be looking directly at the spot where the shadow moved, she would have dismissed it as well. Even _with_ her training, she still wasn't completely sure it had actually been Zevran.

Leliana didn't know what could have caught the elf's attention so much, in the time he'd had to look at the paper he couldn't have caught a glimpse of more than a couple of words. Curiosity burned inside her but she knew better than to try to force it out of him.

"The stew will be ready in a few minutes," she informed him. The assassin's eyes opened to look at her, the look in them telling her that he heard the question she hadn't even tried to keep out of her voice. He didn't answer her though, just nodded once then turned to look at the books that covered most the walls in the room.

"Do you think, my dear Leliana, that these books would be able to educate me on some magical terms? Purely for academic curiosity, of course," he asked. The bard looked over the titles as though there was a chance she might actually understand even one of them.

"I think you would have better luck with the books on the lower floors," she replied. "He doesn't really seem like the type that would keep book that he sees as _below him_ on his floor," she indicated Avernus with a shake of her head. Zevran just smirked.

"How long until dinner is ready?"

"Not long enough for you to sneak down the stairs and grab some of the books. Not that you'd be able to tell a beginner's book from an advanced book, anyway," she informed him. His face began to contort into an overly hurt expression, but the bard quickly cut him off. "We need you here, Zevran. I don't trust Avernus, but I can't trust Alistair's judgment because all that man needs is for Avernus to look at him or Kallia funny and he'll snap. You cannot leave but maybe if you asked Alistair he'd know a few of the terms that you… are curious about. Templars are bound to have _some_ understanding of magic."

She saw the assassin turn his eyes to the warrior for a moment, considering… _something_… before standing and moving to sit next to him.

.oO***Oo.

For a moment the assassin considered ways to start a conversation that would lead him to the information he required… Preferably without the Templar finding out he was providing any information at all. The human seemed to be all but ignoring his presence so Zevran didn't rush it. Pushing for a conversation would make it too obvious he wanted to have one.

"You could have let her die," the Templar murmured quietly, staring at where his hand clasped the Warden's. Zevran hesitated, unsure of where this conversation was going but knowing that there wasn't a way out of it now. He remained silent, allowing the other man to make the first move. But the Templar was too caught up in his thoughts, it seemed almost as though he wasn't even aware he'd spoken. The assassin glanced over to Leliana, who made a _go on_ motion with her hands before she turned to dig out bowls for them to eat with.

Movement from the corner of his eye drew his focus back to the Templar and unconscious Warden. The warrior's hand shook as he fingered a lock of hair much shorter than the rest. "I could have lost her."

"We are fighting a war, yes? Defeat is possible outcome," Zevran responded cautiously, still unsure of where the Templar was taking this conversation.

The Templar gave him a derisive look. "I know," he scoffed sadly and turned his eyes back to the sleeping elf. "Trust me, I know," he repeated and Zevran recognized the look on his face. The look that someone got when they had played out every possible outcome and the bad ones far outweighed the good. "She could die… Every fight we get into, every bad guy we face, every _day_ we _wake up_… She could die and I could lose her," the Templar studied his mage carefully before hanging his head and muttering miserably, "Then I'll really be alone."

Zevran considered the Templar for a moment before finally answering, "My friend, let me tell you a story, yes?" The Templar gave him a skeptical look but the elf held his hands up defensively. "It has a point, I promise!" he assured, the other man looked back to the unconscious woman, silently giving his permission to continue.

"In the Crows, there were three of us who usually put in for work as a group, the closest thing I had to friends, I suppose. We worked well together. One of our assignments was to… take care of a problem-"

"Assassinate someone," Alistair corrected, but Zevran ignored him and simply continued.

"There was a Chantry Sister crossing the road nearby, grocery shopping, I believe. You believe they are infallible, yes? That they can do no wrong? A carriage driver got distracted. The sister was picking out pomodoros- a, ah red fruit. They grow on vines. They start off green and turn red when they are ripe."

"Those are poisonous," the human informed him. "For someone who brags about being an expert on poisons you should know that."

"We must not be talking about the same fruit," Zevran frowned, "It doesn't really matter anyway, no?"

"No, it does. They're about this big," the Templar held his hands to form a circle, "And have slimy green insides with lots of little seeds. Those are poisonous," he insisted.

"They're called tomatoes, Alistair," Leliana stated as she brought over two bowls of steaming stew, she handed the Templar his bowl then turned to Zevran. "Fereldens believe their poisonous because they belong to the nightshade family," she explained.

"Ah, such a shame," Zevran sighed. "They taste quite delicious. I knew this woman in Antiva who made this pomodoro sauce that was to _die_ for!" Leliana gave him an exasperated glare for the terrible pun, then eyed the Warden carefully.

"Is Kali awake yet?" she wondered.

"Not yet," Alistair shook his head. She squeezed his shoulder gently then returned back to the pot to serve up her own bowl, taking her time so as to interfere with the Templar and assassin's conversation as little as possible.

"As I said, she was out shopping for _tomatoes _when something spooked one of the horses." No need to inform the Templar the sister had been trying to turn young Crows from lives they'd already committed themselves too, resulting in their deaths, or that Rinna had kept the sister in place while Zevran spooked the horse and Taliesin tipped the cart... It wasn't really important to the story. "The cart turned over and crushed her-"

"That's horrible!" Alistair exclaimed, perhaps a bit louder than he intended. "Why would you tell me that story?"

"The point, my fine Templar, is that war or not, Blight or not, anyone could die at any moment. You could suddenly burst out in flames this very instant, it's called spontaneous combustion." It was also the official cause of death given by paid-off authorities when fire traps were involved. "And there is nothing you can do about it. So do not worry you pretty little head over something you cannot control," Zevran told him.

The Templar stared at him for a moment, clearly baffled as to how to respond to that.

He was saved from thinking of one when Kallia let off tiny whimper, her face contorting miserably. Alistair's first thought was that it was a Warden nightmare, but the tingling in the back of his skull that would have indicated one was nowhere to be found. "Sorry," she muttered in her sleep, letting off a tiny sob, "… My fault…. Sorry…."

Alistair was leaning over her in an instant, wiping the tears from her cheeks and smoothing her hair soothingly. "What's wrong, Kali? What's your fault?" he asked desperately.

"…So sorry….. Jowan….."

A surge of jealousy shot through him at the sound of another name being called out from her dreams that it took the Templar several moments to place the name. He pulled away from her slowly as she settled once more into undisturbed sleep. Jowan was the blood-mage that had poisoned Arl Eamon, wasn't he? Alistair wondered idly how his guardian was fairing but dismissed the thought. Kallia would have told him if there was a problem, how she would know he hadn't been able to understand but he believed her when she said she would. A familiar mixture of loneliness and misery settled into his chest as he thought over all he stood to lose at that moment.

When he'd been sent to the Chantry over a decade ago he'd felt unwanted and unloved. Then Duncan had taken him from the Chantry and he was actually wanted for once. Duncan's death had hurt, but somehow just the _thought_ of losing Kallia was twisting him in knots much worse than actually losing Duncan had. Thinking about his life without Kallia in it was like thinking about living the rest of his life without his right arm… Worse than that, it'd be like living without his whole right side…

It'd kill him.

"I love her, you know," he muttered into her hand. He had to tell someone and at the moment Leliana was too far away having suddenly remembered she needed to fix her hair and that prevented her from joining their conversation. "I love her and I can't even tell her because I have no idea how she'd react. I don't know that I could take it if she told me she can't love me, not that she doesn't… but that she _can't_." The Templar swallowed the bile that had begun to climb up the back of his throat.

"Ah, my friend, _that _is something worth worrying over," Zevran replied enthusiastically. "Because, my fair Alice, _that_ is something you can do something about, yes?"

The Templar considered his words carefully, not noticing the use of the name Alice, before asking, "Can I…. ask you a personal question?"

"You may ask but I may choose not to answer," the assassin replied with a smirk.

"Fair enough," Alistair shrugged. "Have you…. Had many women in your time? I-I mean it's just, you seem like the sort of man who would…." He trailed off, unsure of how to finish.

"I have indulged from time to time, perhaps, when my interest is not engaged elsewhere, yes?" he offered suggestively, smirking and leaning in just enough to make the Templar uncomfortable. Alistair's eyes went wide and he leaned away from the assassin, this was information he needed.

"Right… Well… How do you… _woo_ them?" he asked, one of Zevran's eyebrows arched curiously. "I-is there a specific… technique… that you use? Or…" his face was flushed bright red and he was sure Zevran was just letting him continue talking so he'd make an idiot of himself.

"Woo them," Zevran replied flatly, almost as though he couldn't believe he'd just been asked that. "Are you quite serious?"

"Err…. Yes?" the human replied, completely unsure if he _ought_ to be serious, maybe he should just play it off as a joke? But no, he reminded himself, he needed to know what to do… "I-I don't know what else to call it," he wished that his tone hadn't taken on an almost panicky twinge to it.

"So let me get this straight," Zevran started, amusement twinkling in his eyes, "You have… never wooed? Not once?" He paused for dramatic effect then asked, "You are woo-less, as it were?"

"All right. Bad idea. Nevermind," he muttered.

Zevran sighed dramatically. "Alistair, my friend, our dear Warden is not the type of woman who wants or even knows _how_ to be… _wooed_. She is a woman who responds better to bluntness than honey-sweetened words of seduction. I fear anything but an outright statement of desire will go over our fair Warden's head," Zevran explained, chuckling at the last phrase like it was some private joke.

Alistair studied him intently for a moment. The assassin was being so helpful and, when he really thought about, after that initial attempt on their lives… what had the elf done?

"I'm sorry," he said, Zevran became very distinctly uncomfortable. "I didn't see it until Leliana pointed it out, but you haven't done anything that would give me reason to think you'll betray Kallia."

"I tried to kill her," the elf pointed out.

"You could have let her die."

"I'm an _assassin_ not some great hero you read about in a storybook somewhere," the assassin spoke, becoming more agitated by the moment.

"You saved her-"

"I saved her because I need her to protect me from the Crows. No other reason!" The elf stood, his bowl of dinner forgotten as he stormed off. Alistair lost track of the assassin as Leliana came to sit next to him. The bard shook her head as she stared at the spot Zevran had slipped into the shadows.

"He gives himself too little credit," she muttered quietly.

"I don't understand why what I said upset him," Alistair responded.

"I don't think anyone's apologized to him without an ulterior motive for a very long time. He didn't know what to do with it when you did," she responded sadly then turned her eyes to where his hands clasped Kallia's. "Eat, Alistair. Kali will not hold it against you if you let go of her hand for a few moments, I'm sure," she told him as she gently tried to pry his hands away.

He did as she told him, releasing the elf's hands and picking up his bowl of quickly cooling stew.


	57. Slipping

_So… How was everyone's memorial day weekend (if you're in the US)? Mine was great. I did nothing. __**Nothing. **__And it was awesome. I was so glad not to come into work on Monday… Sleeping makes life so nice._

_Anyway, I want to thank fujingodofwind for reviewing last week :) Don't worry, things should start falling into place soon and a few more explanations will be given._

.oO***Oo.

When Kallia awoke, the room was dark, lit only by the dying embers of a small campfire she assumed they'd used to cook dinner as well as several small oil lamps. A quick glance around the room found her only remaining companion to be Leliana, quietly reading by one of the lamps. The lack of Templar and blood mage instantly registered in her mind as a cause for concern; Zevran's absence, on the other hand, did not. He was always sneaking around for one reason or another and his seeming lack of presence had become common.

Leliana looked over, catching movement from the corner of her eye, and quickly set down her book to move closer to the elf. Kallia sat up in her bedroll and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"I'm spending way too much time unconscious," she muttered.

"A sentiment I believe you will find the rest of us hold as well, Kali," Leliana responded, holding out a bowl of lukewarm stew. Kallia took it and the proffered spoon and began eating it slowly, her mouth and throat too dry to eat much more than small spoonfuls at a time.

"Alistair?" the mage questioned, looking around the room pointedly for the Templar.

"Is going to be annoyed," the bard giggled. "The first time he leaves your side for more than a minute is when you finally wake up. He'll take that personally, you know."

Kallia groaned, "I don't need a headache too."

Leliana laughed. "He went to get snow to melt for water off one of the enclaves several stories down."

"Alone?" she asked. Her obvious concern only made Leliana smirk.

"Alistair was quick to point out that the demons have not gotten through the shields in over a hundred years, the likelihood of them doing so in the time it took him to go downstairs and come back up is very small. Either way, Zevran volunteered to go with him. I think he was getting restless but Avernus muttered something about Crows having an insatiable thirst for any and all knowledge so that might have had something to do with it. Those two are becoming quick friends," the bard leaned forward as though confessing some great secret on the last line.

"Zevran and Avernus?" Kallia asked doubtfully.

"No, silly! Zevran and _Alistair_!" Leliana giggled fitfully at the elf's confusion. "They had a moment while you were asleep, it was adorable!" Kallia smiled amusedly at the bard's enthusiasm.

"What of Avernus?"

"Well, he was rather…_ eager_… to be left here alone with you, he even tried to get me to go with them, so Alistair insisted Avernus go with them instead. Oh, he was _not_ happy about that! He said he had much more important things to do than play chaperone for two children. Which only made Alistair more insistent, more out of petulance than anything else. We figured it would be better to keep Avernus around Alistair, him having Templar training and all…"

Kallia shook her head, "Templars are terrible at detecting blood magic, its part of the reason they despise it so much. They're more likely to resist it but it takes something blatantly obvious for them to notice." The mage brought her knees up to her chest, resting her head atop them and wrapped her arms around them, making herself as small as possible.

From the moment she found out Jowan was a blood mage to the moment Lily had refused to follow him, there had been this horrible dread that filled her. Had Jowan just controlled the initiate to make her think she loved him? To convince her to abandon everyone and everything she knew for him? How could Lily, who wasn't trained in recognizing blood magic, possibly have been expected to see what was happening? Kallia had known Jowan her entire life and she hadn't seen the signs… or maybe she just hadn't wanted to.

But then Lily had refused to go with Jowan and in that moment, Kallia had known there was nothing bewitched about what the mage and initiate felt for each other. She saw the pure devastation on her friend's face and in that moment she had done the unthinkable.

Her duty was to the Tower, to the rules of the Circle, first and foremost. That was how she had been raised. But when Jowan had run, had turned his back to her who was more skilled and powerful than he, she had made no move to stop him, instead running to check on Irving.

She had chosen to allow a blood mage to escape.

"Kali, are you alright?" Leliana asked, obviously concerned by the mage's silence. The mage buried her head in her knees and held back a sob. "What it is? What's going on?" Leliana questioned calmly but with an air of urgency. "Is it your shoulder?"

Kallia shook her head and the bard lowered her hands from where they were trying to inspect the injured area. She waited patiently as Kallia gathered her thoughts. Finally the mage looked up and the bard was surprised to see several tear tracks running down her cheeks, stained by the dirt and dust that covered her skin.

"When we get back to Redcliffe, I'm going to have to kill Jowan," Kallia told her with morbid certainty and Leliana froze in confusion.

"I thought you weren't angry at him anymore?" Leliana asked, frowning.

The mage buried her head in her knees again and muttered, "I'm not and that's just going to make it harder."

"Kali, I don't understand. What do you mean?" Leliana continued to question, praying silently to the Maker that something would keep the men occupied outside of the room until she could figure out what ailed their fearless leader.

Another muffled sob reached the bard's ears and she began to lose the tight control over the panic that was welling in her stomach. She wasn't worried that Kallia had suddenly become so emotional; it was to be expected that eventually her iron control would begin to snap with the way the mage shoved every little feeling aside.

No, the bard was glad that it had at least snapped before any irreparable harm had been caused to the mage's psyche…

She just wished it had happened when there was more _time_. The men had had enough time to get down to one of the snow-filled balconies and how much time Leliana had to get this sorted out depended entirely on a contest of wills between Alistair's desire to return to Kallia's side and Zevran's sudden curiosity in magic. There was little doubt in her mind which of those two would win out in the end which meant she had very little time to help Kallia deal with the emotions currently overwhelming her… Because the moment the men returned those emotions would be bottled back up, building pressure until what control she had over them broke completely.

If it wasn't already happening…

The bard remembered Kallia had mentioned Jowan had wrapped blankets around her to comfort her so, taking the risk of reminding her of the friend she claimed she'd have to kill, Leliana gathered the cloak Levi had given that had been serving as a padding so Kallia didn't have to lay on the cold floor and wrapped it around the elf's shoulders, glad to feel some of the tension leave the mage's tense body at the action.

"You need to talk to me, Kali," Leliana told her in a soothing voice. "I can't help if you don't tell me anything." She kept her arms wrapped around the young elf, holding her comfortingly as the mage's whole body seemed to shake. Kallia tried to explain, to talk through the uneven breathing, hiccups, and sobs that seemed to have claimed control over her, but the broken words and sounds made no sense to the bard so she just continued to make soothing noises.

Slowly Kallia's body-wracking sobs became sniffles and her breathing began to even out. Leliana pulled away from the young elf to retrieve her hanky from her pack. She knelt in front of the Warden and held a corner of the cotton square to the Warden's nose. "Blow," she instructed as a mother would for her child and Kallia complied. Leliana poured what little water she could coax from her waterskin onto another corner of the hanky and wiped the dumbfounded elf's face. The bard made quick work of it and soon the only traces of Kallia's emotional breakdown were puffy cheeks and red eyes, which would go away on their own.

"Now," Leliana said as she took a seat across from the mage, "Why don't you tell me what's going on?"

"Jowan is not only a blood mage with a death sentence waiting for him at the Tower. If that was it I could have justified his actions, it would have been a stretch but I'd have managed," the mage explained, Leliana waited patiently for her to continue. "But he's a _maleficar_ now too. Because of him, nearly a hundred people are dead at Redcliffe alone. If Eamon dies… There's no way I'll be able to justify letting him live to Alistair and Teagan." Kallia took a deep breath to steady her voice as she reached up to wipe a few stray tears from her eyes, "My options are to send him back to the Tower to die alone in the place he tried so hard to get away from or to kill him myself at Redcliffe."

"Surely they wouldn't expect you to be his executioner…"

"As the one who gives the order, I am as much his executioner as the one that actually lands the killing blow," Kallia replied miserably. The bard studied her for a moment, before letting off a quiet sigh at the mage's simplified misunderstanding of the situation.

"Jowan is_ not_ a maleficar, Kali," Leliana replied calmly, with a reassuring smile.

"But he-"

"Didn't kill those people," the bard cut her off. "Jowan, like so many others, was manipulated by Loghain. He was offered a deal he couldn't refuse, but Loghain offered it in a way he wouldn't have _wanted_ to. He was in over his head from the very beginning. He didn't know what he was doing and it exploded in his face," Leliana reached out and grabbed one of Kallia's wrists, applying a gentle pressure to turn her arm so her forearm faced up, revealing the jagged scar that the mage had showed her once. "Did you blame him when he did this?" she asked.

"No. But that was different," the Warden said with a shake of her head.

"Why?"

"No one died, for one thing!" Kallia snapped, jerking her arm away from the bard.

Leliana just smiled understandingly, "But you _almost_ did. It was an accident. He didn't know what he was doing and people got hurt, but he didn't _intend_ to hurt them… And _that_ is what makes a maleficar." The mage looked away and refused to meet the other woman's gaze. Leliana sighed, "You could always leave his fate to Destiny." Kallia looked up, confused. "There were no Templars in Redcliffe left to escort him back to the Tower of Magi. It would be such a shame if he were to sneak away from them… Without harming them, of course," Leliana confided sneakily.

Kallia was quiet for a moment, obviously thinking over what Leliana had just suggested, finally she whispered, "I couldn't do that." But her tone said that she very much _could_ and was, at that moment, thinking of doing just that.

Leliana held back a smirk and changed the subject. The idea had been planted in Kallia's mind but the mage had time to decide what she was going to actually do. The bard wouldn't push her. "The boys should be back soon."

Kallia nodded, not losing a beat at the change of topic. "Why did they go? Couldn't you have just used the fire you used to cook the stew over to melt the water in the waterskins?"

Leliana laughed, "The waterskins aren't fireproof, Kali; putting them in the fire would ruin them. Avernus offered to use his magic to melt the ice in them but none of us wanted him near anything we'd be eating or drinking," Leliana explained.

Kallia nodded, "That was probably a good idea. You have no idea the things that man knows…"

"And you do?" Leliana asked in confusion.

"No!" Kallia replied a bit too quickly. "And I don't want to. As long as they don't affect us that man can keep his secrets to himself as far as I'm concerned." The bard knew she was lying. The mage felt sky blue eyes as they looked over her carefully but eventually Leliana simply nodded her head, accepting that this was Kallia's secret to keep for herself if she so chose. Their close living arrangements granted few of those and if the mage didn't want to share it, the bard, at least, would not force her.

"Kali," the bard hesitated. "Why would you let Avernus do that with your shoulder…? Obviously you had your reservations about him the moment he offered you a Lyrium potion. So why this?"

Kallia frowned, suddenly looking frustrated. "It was like… All of the concerns I had about it, about _him_, were suddenly invalid and I should just do as he asked."

"But that sounds like-"

"I know."

"Do you think he would…?"

"He's a blood mage who prides himself on his ability to manipulate others. I have no doubt in my mind that that is exactly what he did, though I can only guess as to why," Kallia answered coldly.

"What are you going to do?" the bard asked cautiously.

The sound of Zevran and Alistair arguing floated through the door and Kallia watched it with cold, waiting eyes.

"I'll do nothing. If he did it once, he'll do it again," she answered just as Alistair walked through the door, two large buckets full of snow dangling from his elbows and his hands full of what looked like several very heavy books on magic. She glanced at the bard and added quietly, "Let's hope, for his sake, that his intentions are not malicious the next time he tries."

"...couldn't possibility need all these- Kali!" the Templar shouted as soon as he saw her. "You're awake!" he added cheerfully, dropping all the books he had in his hands on the ground to start rushing across the large room.


	58. Bookworm

_Hrmm, busy week. I finally got someone to meet with me to write content for the website I'm re-doing for my church :) So hopefully that should actually be going out on time (mid to late June) and I can share mu utterly amazing programming skills with you as well ;)_

_Speaking of utterly amazing, thank you everyone who reviewed this week :) Kira Kyuuketsuki and Evalyne. _

_Once again, I don't speak Dutch so I have to rely on google translator . If what I have is wrong, please feel free to let me know I've butchered your language…_

.oO***Oo.

Kallia grimaced as she smoothed out the pages of the books Alistair had dropped in his rush to get to her. These books were old, some quite fragile, and most of them irreplaceable. All books on magic had been kept at one country or another's Circle of Magi for centuries where any material mentioning a forbidden topic would be destroyed before it even saw a shelf…

Her eye caught the title of the next book and she held back a sigh, glad that Alistair couldn't read Ancient Tevinter. _Bloed Magie: Beïnvloeden van lichaam en geest _[1]. Though, now that she thought about it, Zevran hadn't understood her when she spoke Ancient Tevinter in Denerim… so what could he want with this particular book now?

She glanced at the other elf whose nose was deep in a book that, from the title, looked to be about some kind of birds, though the name was unfamiliar to her. The mage shook her head and sat the blood magic book back on the pile with the others. It had probably just gotten mixed in on accident.

.oO***Oo.

"Ok," Alistair stated plonking down next to Zevran where he was reading. The Templar kept a keen eye on Kallia, but understood that with the mage conscious he could no longer keep a close vigil and was forced to give the mage her space. "I carried your books up for you. _Now_ will you tell me why you wanted them so desperately?" he asked.

"I simply enjoy reading, yes? I am a… What is it called? A worm of books, yes?" Zevran replied, turning pleased eyes to Leliana as she burst out in a fit of giggles.

"A _bookworm_ is one term I would never have used to describe you, Zevran," Leliana teased from where she sat scrubbing out the stew pot.

"Ah, my Orlesian flower, there are so many things about me you do not know. For instance-"

"I don't want to know," she cut him off flatly.

Zevran crossed his hands over his heart, "I am so injured by your cruelness. How will I ever recover from your harsh words, my mistress?" The bard rolled her eyes at his words and stood to pack the cooking pot with the rest of their belongings. "If you must know, my curious little minx, this is a book on the migration patterns of corvids. The name caught my eye as crows are members of the corvid family, yes?" he informed her, holding the book up to show her the title.

"A boring book, full of inaccuracies and incorrectly shelved," Avernus replied from his place at his writing desk. "A book like that has no place in a mage's library."

"Ah, then you will have no objection to me keeping it, I presume?" Zevran asked, looking over the top cover of the book.

"You would no doubt find a way to keep it even if I said no, Crow," Avernus muttered begrudgingly.

"It is good we understand each other then, yes?" Zevran replied cheerfully.

"We don't have the time to spend reading through all these books. Why _did _ you bring them all up?" Kallia asked, her tone almost mournful.

"Ah, but we do not have to leave them behind! I have made sure there was plenty of room in our packs, my dear Warden," Zevran replied. "Thanks to your helpful little charm the books will weigh almost nothing as we tote them along."

Kallia nodded. Though it was obvious she longed to be able to simply bury herself in words right at that moment, she was completely aware it was a luxury that would have to be put off for another time.

"But I carried _all_ those books up _all_ those stairs," Alistair whined, "I want to at least know-"

Zevran cut him off, a smirk gracing his face, as he grabbed a seemingly random book from the pile and held it out to the Templar. Alistair blinked staring at the book as though afraid it might suddenly grow teeth and bite him. "Read the title, my dear Templar. You'll find the book is quiet harmless," the assassin explained. Carefully, Alistair took the book from the assassin.

"Fade Walkers: The Art of Navigating Your Dreams," he read out loud. His eyes lit up with interest and he turned to the middle of the book, only to flush bright read and drop the book as though it were suddenly on fire.

"Ah, my dear Templar, you are as red as a pomodoro!" Zevran laughed, darting away in case the human decided to retaliate for his little trick.

"I don't understand," Kallia frowned, bending over to pick up the book. "It's just a textbook... A first level one at that."

Alistair swooped down and picked the book up before she could reach it, keeping it closed and shoving it behind his back. "It's nothing! Just very interesting!" he practically shouted, his voice suddenly taking on a higher pitch.

"You should find the figures _very_ educational, my dear Templar," Zevran added with a chuckle from across the room, far out of the Templar's reach, where he was loading books into his pack.

Kallia's curiosity got the better of her and she tried to step around Alistair to read the title of the book again, wondering what she'd missed. "Let me see it, Alistair," she asked, reaching around him. He dodged out of her grasp, far more agile than she expected, and threw the book in his pack quickly grabbing random objects to throw on top of it.

"Nope. Like you said, we gotta go. No time. Plus it's already packed. We should go. We should just… _go_," he spoke quickly then rushed for the door on the other side of the room. Kallia looked at Zevran curiously but the assassin gave no indication of what the book had actually been about as he did the final buckle of his pack up.

He looked up at the two women, "My fair maidens, you are so slow! We strapping men are already packed and ready, no?" Leliana watched him suspiciously; the light in his eyes was too mischievous to _not_ think he was playing some sort of game.

"We are ready, Zevran, and are only waiting on Avernus," she replied as she shouldered her pack, adding in a louder voice, "Alistair, get back here! Kali needs your help with something."

The Templar stopped in his tracks and looked over his shoulder, his cheeks still very distinctly pink. "She does?" he asked, almost hopeful that he could be of use to her in some way.

"I do?" Kallia whispered quietly to the bard.

"Yes," the redhead answered both and the Templar slowly returned to the two women's side. "She needs your help putting her pack on her shoulders. We don't know how much her shoulder can handle, even healed as it is, and we don't want to risk straining it by making it pick up something that's too heavy."

Kallia frowned, "We'll be fighting a battle soon… If my shoulder still has limitations-"

"It doesn't," Avernus interrupted coldly, clearly offended that the group thought so little of his healing skills.

"-Then I would rather know about then now before it's a life and death situation," Kallia finished as though she hadn't heard him.

"It… doesn't hurt to be safe…" Alistair responded slowly, thinking this was one of the bard's traps meant to get him closer to Kallia (which he wouldn't have minded but they usually only ended up leaving him feeling like a fool). The mage sighed, outnumbered.

"If you four are _quite _finished wasting time," Avernus interrupted, "I would like to get this over with." While they had been ignoring him, the mage had gone to a nearby closet and retrieved some sort of gnarly looking wooden staff that had managed to catch a the wary eye of everyone else in the room.

"_That's_ your staff?" Alistair asked in disgust. Kallia glanced at him out of the corner of her eye before returning her gaze to the staff in the other mage's hands. Even to a non-mage the staff was revolting. It looked like at one point it had been wood or perhaps a very thick root, but it had absorbed so much of the taint that it now had an almost oily sheen to it. Small bones and teeth hung from twine tied around the top, clacking together like some sort of morbid wind chime.

Kallia and Alistair had warned all of their companions never to touch the staves, even they, themselves, were always careful to always pick them up with a spare cloth. Alistair had warned her he'd seen another Warden get a bad rash from touching a darkspawn staff once… He'd had a haunted look when he'd warned her, the one that said he wasn't telling her everything because there were things too difficult to tell, but she had gotten the importance of his warning none-the-less and made sure to follow it.

The group never looted the staves when they found them. They had always burned them until there was nothing left for someone to find and risk injury to themselves, Kallia's significantly increased control of fire was greatly attributed to this.

"How can you be willing to even _touch_ that, let alone mix your magic with it," Kallia questioned, astounded by how, even now, his magic and the staff's were already flowing together.

"The demons are unfamiliar with the taint so the staff confuses them, if only for a moment," Avernus explained. Kallia held back the bile that was beginning to climb to the back of her throat. Even the Veil around the staff seemed to drip with the oily black substance that permeated the staff.

"Even so…" she answered. "It's a dangerous game you're playing. Those staves aren't safe, even for Wardens."

"I have cloth wrapped around it to protect my hands. See?" The mage held up the blacked wood so she could see that he had, indeed, wrapped and tied two pieces of cloth around where he hands would grip it. "Would you like to try it? It's perfectly safe."

There was a heaviness to his words. They seemed to carry more weight than they should have and Kallia was already beginning to question whether she could trust her own judgment… Alistair had never actually told her what happened to the Warden that had touched that other staff. Maybe that other staff was special and they were being paranoid for nothing…

"You know, it's the weirdest thing…" Alistair suddenly stated. Kallia's hand jerked back to her side where she hadn't even noticed it had been moving. "I have the sudden urge to touch your staff… I can't think of any good reason to do it and it just downright—Kali?"

In the blink of an eye, Kallia had crossed the space separating her from the blood mage, pulled back her left fist, and punched Avernus in the nose. Her sleeved arms had come up automatically to protect her from his staff as it went flying, but fortunately the clothed part was the only place to impact.

The sound of the staff hitting the stone floor off to the side echoed throughout the eerily silent room. Avernus slowly brought his hand up to his nose, staring at the red on his fingers in wonder, as Kallia stood over him shaking her hand as pain radiated from her knuckles and wrist.

"How dare you," Avernus stated, shock becoming anger.

Kallia paused in her shaking and lowered her hand, "How dare I? How dare _you_?" She crouched down next to Avernus and added in a low, dangerous voice, "I overlooked the manipulation once, Avernus. But understand that this is not 100 years ago and I am not Sophia Dryden. I will not allow you to murder and experiment on my people for the sole purpose of furthering your own ends. Or at all."

The elf stood, keeping cold, calculating eyes on the frail old man at her feet. She towered above him, even short as she was. "_Fils du Créateur_," she spat in disgust and turned her back to the fallen mage to face her companions, maintaining the cold commanding air she had taken on. "Find Levi. He's safer with us and we're going. Now," she ordered, grabbing her pack from where it had fallen from her shoulders with Avernus's influence and walking away from them towards the door.

.oO***Oo.

The companions were all frozen in place, baffled at the reaction of their fearless leader. They could only glance back and forth between the two mages and speculate on what had happened.

"What does that mean? Fills.. Fills doo…" Alistair asked, stumbling over words he couldn't understand.

"I think she was saying _Fils du Créateur_, Alistair," Leliana responded with a frown, though she pronounced it differently than Kallia had. "It means _Son of the Maker_ in Orlesian."

Zevran clicked his tongue, "Such a dirty insult from such a pretty mouth."

"That's not an insult," Alistair responded automatically.

"Her tone said differently, my dear Templar," Zevran responded. The bard and warrior studied the blood mage as he rose to his feet.

"You need me to seal the Veil!" Avernus shouted after Kallia, but she paid him no mind. "You need me!" he repeated louder, but Kallia had finally reached the door across the long room. She simply opened it and walked though.

Zevran, however, did turn to face the blood mage with a careful expression, and replied for her, "And that, my ancient mage, is probably the only reason you are still alive." He began walking, quickly followed by Leliana and Alistair, pausing only for a moment to pull Levi out from a nice little hiding spot he'd found for him.

Eventually Avernus bent to pick up his staff and follow.

Furious at being outmaneuvered by a mageling.

.oO***Oo.

[1] Blood magic: Influencing Bodies and Minds


	59. Lye

_We __are__ getting towards the end of Soldier's Peak, I promise . It was only after I published the last chapter that I decided to look back and realized they've been on this particular quest for nearly twenty chapters. But there were so many things that needed to happen on this quest. I had to make sure details were put in to set things up for later :) _

_Oh, you will enjoy it when all the little things I'm getting set up in all these chapters come into the light. _

_Thank you to kk and Kira Kyuu for reviewing this week :)_

_Enjoy!_

.oO***Oo.

Levi had wisely kept silence as Zevran pulled him through the door to follow the Warden. It was, perhaps, a bit of a fast pace for the merchant but the mage had all but ran from the room. She was angry and someone needed to catch up with her.

To Zevran's surprise, however, the elf had halted just before she'd reached the stairs to the floor below. The Warden stood in the middle of the room, seemingly frozen in mid-step. The assassin followed her wide-eyed gaze to a large table in the corner of the room.

He'd noticed the covered table when the group had come through to get snow for water. Zevran could recognize the shape of a skeleton beneath a blanket as well as the next assassin and the folded robe and Warden's Oath placed next to an obviously used candle confirmed it was a burial site. But, by his understanding, Avernus's acolytes had retreated with him, so he was surprised just to find the one. Kallia had said there were no demons to animate the skeleton so Zevran had banished any worries about the potential danger of the memorial from his thoughts.

But the look of realization on the Warden's face made him doubt his earlier dismissal.

"My Warden?" he questioned but she acted as though she hadn't heard him, too caught up in her thoughts. "Warden?" he repeated a bit more urgently, the fact that this could be another attempt at mind control or a side effect of the (still unknown) potion she'd consumed several hours before already entering his mind. "Stay," he ordered quietly to Levi, moving forward, ready to stop the Warden if she tried to do anything dangerous.

As the Warden began to trace her fingers over the neatly folded mage's robe and Warden's Oath necklace, Zevran heard the rest of their companions walk through the door behind him. He heard them pause as they passed the threshold into the room and spotted the Warden, the old mage sucked in a breath.

The Warden's hand slowly reached out for the tarp covering the table and, with a sharp jerk, pulled it back to reveal an aged skeleton. The motion threw dust in the air but when Zevran's nostrils began to burn, he took a close look at the skeleton. The bones were flaking and the stone beneath had large spots of discoloration that would not have happened naturally.

The assassin's eyes shot open and he quickly exhaled to dispel the substance from his lungs. In one smooth motion, Zevran used one arm to wrap around the Warden's waist to pull her back while the other pinched her nose shut and covered her mouth. He felt suction against his hand as she instinctually gasped at his sudden motion, but she didn't otherwise struggle and allowed him to pull her away from the skeleton and towards the door.

The assassin was surprised in the instant it took him to pull the Warden back to the other companions that her Templar had stepped between them and the skeleton with his sword and shield at the ready. Zevran was no fool, he knew the warrior had stepped forward to protect the woman currently in his arms and not the assassin himself, but just the fact that he'd jumped to the conclusion that there was an enemy before he jumped to the conclusion that _Zevran_ was the enemy was an improvement from only a few days before.

The assassin released the elf in his arms once she was out of harm's way but he was already fighting the urge to cough. He took a deep breath of clean air, hoping to avoid attention. "That was lye, my Warden. It is very dangerous, yes?"

"Lye?" Alistair asked, his stance relaxing as he looked over his shoulder. "Like in soap?" The look on his face told them he now had the image of evil soap minions with spears and helmets attacking him while he was trying to take a bath.

"They do use it in soap, Alistair, but it's also used to decompose bodies," Leliana responded.

"Ohhh, that stuff's dangerous… The first time they made me make soap at the Chantry, no one told me it would burn me if I touched it. So I just started shoveling it in with my hands. I ended up with really bad burns but it got me out of scrubbing pots for a week," Alistair chuckled at the memory. He glanced at Kallia to see if she found the story as amusing as he did, but she and the blood mage seemed to be having some kind of staring contest.

The young mage's mouth hung open slightly as she turned to stare at Avernus, horror and disbelief imprinted on her face. For a moment, Avernus looked almost… guilty… as he looked at the flaking skeleton.

"Do not judge me, Warden," he told her thickly. "I did what I had to in order to continue my research, Aerid understood that."

"You killed him?" Leliana asked, turning to face him but taking a step backward.

"I _saved_ him! We had no food left. He was slowly starving to death," Avernus insisted.

"You don't know that!" Leliana answered angrily. "You lived for a hundred years, why couldn't he have done what you did?"

"Because then Avernus couldn't have continued his research," Kallia told them flatly, narrowing her eyes.

"What research were you doing that was so important you'd kill your Brother?" Alistair demanded. "How many others did you _'save'_?" he spat, reaching for his sword. Kallia's small hand came out and lightly rested on his to stop him from drawing it all the way from its sheath.

"Don't," she stated flatly. When it looksed as if the Templar was about to protest she cut him off. "I cannot seal the Veil on my own. We have no choice but to delay all judgments until after we've done that, regardless of what he has done."

The Templar begrudgingly relaxed his grip on the weapon. He glanced away from her and crossed his arms, sulking. "Until then," he muttered quietly, though whether it was intended as a threat or a promise was anybody's guess.

.oO***Oo.

Zevran followed behind the Warden. Regrettably, he was not able to enjoy the fine view of her hips as she walked. He was too focused on controlling the fire currently burning its way through his lungs. He was sure he hadn't breathed in enough to do any real damage but that didn't mean it wasn't _exceedingly_ uncomfortable.

"If you inhaled any of that lye, you need to have Kali look at it," Leliana said quietly behind him. He hadn't flinched, which was good, but the worried look she gave him as she moved to stand next to him told him she knew she'd startled him.

She should not have been able to startle him.

"Your concern for my well being is overwhelming, my fair Orlesian Flower, but I have not inhaled any of that wretched substance," he answered cheerfully.

The bard leaned towards him slightly. He watched her carefully but her eyes remained forward as she replied quietly, "You're wheezing." Her eyes turned to him, observing him carefully as she added, "We are not the Crows, Zevran. Kali will think no less of you if you ask her to heal you."

"Fear not, my fair Leliana, for I am unharmed! But if I do find myself in need of healing, then I shall instantly request the fine care of our fearless leader," Zevran replied with a smirk. Leliana sighed, giving up and turning her attention back to Levi, who was incessantly questioning Avernus about his great-great grandmother.

.oO***Oo.

"Sooo," Alistair started curiously as they walked down the wide stairway. "Son of the Maker, huh?"

Kallia looked at him carefully from the corner of her eye. "Son of the Maker," she repeated, agreeing that that had been what she'd said.

"It's just that… Well, I mean… I don't… What…" the Templar trailed off, unsure how to ask.

"How is that an insult?" she asked for him.

"Yes," he replied with an enthusiastic nod. "That."

Kallia sighed, "I've told you before, mages and the Chantry don't really get along… We have completely opposite perspectives."

"Yeah, but the Chantry and the Maker aren't the same thing, are they?" Alistair argued.

"To us they might as well be," she replied, glancing up at the ceiling. "The Chantry Sisters get their hands on the magelings when they first arrive at the Tower. In the same breath that they explain to you what you are, they will remind you about the stories about how mages were the ones to blacken the Golden City and how the mages of Tevinter were the ones to kill Andraste." Kallia sighed, "To call a mage a son or daughter of the Maker is to remind them they are born into sin with no hope of redemption, Alistair."

"But you don't believe you're born into sin," he answered. "You said so," he added, as though her word made it law.

Kallia's face fell and she looked away from him as she answered. "If you tell someone something often enough they'll believe anything, even if they don't believe in the basic constructs that would make it true," she muttered quietly.

"That's not right. I mean if I told you over and over that I hated cheese, would you believe me?" Alistair insisted, picking the most ludicrous scenario he could think of.

Kallia was silent for a moment as she studied him. "Are you worthless, Alistair?" The Templar stumbled in surprise and Kallia reached her hand out to steady him, little good as it would do. The human weighed so much more than her, if she tried to stop him from falling, he'd undoubtedly take her down with him. He sputtered of random words trying to form a coherent sentence, but clearly had no answer for her. Kallia gave him a sad smile, "You aren't, Alistair, but despite all the years that have passed and everything you've seen and done… You still believe what Isolde and the other boys at the Chantry told you, even if it isn't even remotely true."

He swallowed thickly as he stared into her deep blue-green eyes. She really believed in him. Honestly believed he was worth something. Something flashed in her eyes, a brief moment of absolute understanding, before she smiled at him and asked, "Shall we move on?"

Despite the fact that they had been walking for the entire conversation, Alistair nodded, knowing she wasn't talking about the physical steps they were talking. Unfortunately, he found himself unsure of what topic to move on _to_. His mind raced until he finally caught a glimpse of her swollen left hand.

"How's your hand?"

Kallia lifted the hand up and flexed it several times, "It hurts a bit but it's not that bad."

"That was your injured shoulder, wasn't it?" he asked, though he knew exactly which side she'd been shot on.

She nodded, "It was."

Alistair opened his mouth to reply but found he had nothing else to say. The elf, herself, seemed perfectly content to walk in silence, but Alistair found it unnerving. There were quiet murmurs of conversations behind him and he wanted nothing more than to be chatting away like Leliana and Zevran were behind them. He couldn't hear what they were saying… But Zevran at least sounded enthused by Leliana's attention.

"You should curl your thumb," he said finally, Kallia looked at him curiously. "Next time you need to punch someone… _If_ you need to punch someone! You should curl your thumb and keep your hand straight so you don't injure yourself. Like this, here see?" He showed her with his own fist and, when she failed to duplicate it correctly, he touched her hands and corrected it. He flushed at the contact, but couldn't help but laugh as she took a swing at the air since they were on a landing and put too much power into it causing her to lose her balance and stumble.

He caught her (flushing quite red in the process) as she twirled but described to her the correct stance, promising to teach her later when he could show her properly.


	60. Aerid

_Hello, my friends! I don't know why but I'm in a very chipper mood today :D_

_It might have something to do with the new story I published. It's a companion piece/prequel to Stars so you might like to check it out. It basically just gives details to her life and backstory that just don't fit into Stars. It isn't going to be one continuous story but will end up being more like a series of connected oneshots. Some of the chapters in Nebula will be particularly related to a chapter in Stars, when that happens I'll be sure to let you know :)_

_www . fanfiction . net/s/7091523/1/Nebula_

_Or it could have something to do with the fact that I've actually __**finished writing**__ the Soldier's Peak section now. Yaay! Honestly… I never intended for Soldier's Peak to take anywhere near this long. It was just supposed to be get in, drink the potion, kill Sophia, seal the Veil and get out… Ten chapters, max. Unfortunately (or fortunately, I guess it depends on who you ask), its ended up taking more than __**twice**__ that lol._

_Anyway, we get a bit of a backstory for the skeleton this chapter :) Enjoy_

.oO***Oo.

It had worked.

That was the only explanation.

Avernus had attributed the mageling's erratic anger to his use of blood magic (being a Circle mage she had no doubt grown up brainwashed by the Chantry and Templars to hate it) so he had dismissed the deeper meaning of her anger. He had thought he was simply projecting his own guilt onto her words.

But such was obviously not the case.

She had consumed his concoction and had not only lived but had also acquired his memories.

She knew too much not to have. She knew of his research on the other Wardens. She had recognized his voice without ever seeing his face. She had known the layout of the keep far too well for someone who was only just seeing it for the first time, as though she had lived here for years.

Most importantly she knew of Aerid.

The old mage glanced at the remains his old apprentice, a small amount of pride swelling in his chest. The boy had been such a quick learner. Avernus had had high hopes that one day the young mage would actually be able to follow in his footsteps. He'd never have been as good as Avernus (second hand knowledge is never as good) but he could have come _so_ close.

Before that final battle, Aerid had lured more than one naïve Warden up to the top of the tower. He didn't even need his blood magic to guide them to their deaths. No, for Aerid they had come entirely of their own volition, oftentimes thanking the boy for allowing them to be of help.

He'd been so _charismatic_…

And even after that final battle, Aerid hadn't even blinked an eye as they caged up all the other Wardens to keep them from doing something stupid like playing hero for the remaining survivors or seeking vengeance for the fallen.

No, Aerid had brought them up to him. One by one, he lured them from their cages while disposing of the useless corpses of those that had come before.

He was the best apprentice a mage could ask for. He had the thirst for knowledge so strong that, even when he was about to fall over from exhaustion because of the grunt work he'd done, he kept himself on his feet just so he could _watch_.

Aerid had been his greatest accomplishment.

Avernus had shaped him into the man he had become, molded him as a potter would do clay. He had given Aerid everything: knowledge, power, inspiration. Avernus had but to plant an idea in his apprentice's head then watch proudly as the boy tended it and grew it into something extraordinary.

But eventually, Avernus had had to take that all away from Aerid. He'd run out of _volunteers_ to experiment on but his work had _had_ to continue. There had only been one person left…

It had been strange for Avernus. For some reason he had not wanted Aerid to know that he had become one of the ones being experimented on, but that odd guilt had given him the answer to the potion. The drug he'd used to keep his apprentice unaware had been the missing ingredient.

Aerid had died to give him that information.

So he had given him a proper burial and made as much of the potion as he could and scattered it around the Peak. If anyone ever got into the Peak they'd be bound to find one of the bottles and hopefully drink it. Obviously… the little mageling had done just that. Aerid's sacrifice had not been wasted.

Oh, this was fascinating.

He hadn't been able to find any trace of the substance in her blood, there was absolutely no way to tell what the concoction had done to her. Obviously the memories she had acquired were sporadic. Was it just that her brain had not made the connections yet? Or would the information always be so unreliable? Would she, one day, be able to access his knowledge as though it were her own (without having to pull up the memories of how he'd acquired it) or would she be forced to relive his life to gain all his knowledge?

Oh, this was _fascinating_.

He needed to get her alone.

He needed to get her back to his lab.

He needed to find out exactly what he'd accomplished.

First he'd seal the Veil, his work would be so much easier if he didn't have to worry about the demons, then he'd see if he could convince her to come back to his lab without her companions. She wouldn't kill him once it was sealed, despite her earlier threat.

She couldn't.

That had been an added bonus to the missing ingredient.

Oh, this was _fascinating._

.oO***Oo.

Zevran was finding it difficult to breathe evenly with the fire currently raging in his chest. He'd managed to sneak a poultice without anyone noticing and it had helped with the urge to cough. Unfortunately, it hadn't even made a dent in the pain in his lungs.

And it was beginning to distract him. Had he been back in Antiva, one of his temporary partners would have tried to finish him off. He held back a scoff, even his more permanent partner, Taliesin, would have tried to finish him off _without_ the convenient excuse of trying to raise his status and take his share of the reward that the temporary ones had. _Taliesin would have done it just for fun_, the elf thought bitterly.

But… he was no longer among the Crows, as Leliana had so kindly reminded him. He no longer needed to guard his every breath and sleep with one eye open. It was acceptable, if not inevitable, that he would get injured. The Warden, herself, seemed to have spent just as much time recovering from battles as she had fighting them for this particular leg of their journey.

And despite her relative uselessness, it had not occurred to any one of her companions to kill her or simply leave her behind. If anything the opposite was true. They had countered the greater risk she faced by simply being more protective of her…

Even Zevran, himself, had found himself covering the Warden's injured side when she had been unable to do so. It was an odd concept to him, this group mentality thing. Fighting alongside companions with no ulterior motive. The pain in his lungs was inconvenient but bearable. But just because something was bearable didn't necessarily mean it was something he needed to endure anymore.

She had trusted him.

She had allowed him to use a substance to help her that could just as easily have killed her…

Maybe just this once he could take that risk and ask for healing…

At the moment, however, she was having a pleasant conversation with her Templar so he'd just wait a few moments before asking. He'd definitely ask at the next opportunity though…

Definitely.

.oO***Oo.

They heard the creaking of bones before they even got to the last flight of stairs. It echoed throughout the room below them through the open door.

"It sounds like they haven't dispersed at all," Leliana commented.

"If anything, they have only gathered their numbers," Zevran added, his voice was breathy and his breathing erratic as he listened intently trying to count them.

"You're already out of breath, Zevran?" Alistair teased. "You must be getting old… Oh, Look! I think I even see a gray hair!" he snickered.

Zevran's hand shot to his hair. "Where?" he questioned, but when Alistair's snickering became a full blown laugh, Zevran's eyes narrowed and added cheerfully, "Well at least I am not going bald, my fair Alice. I shall look majestic and wise with my age, you'll just look old!"

Alistair's hands shot to the back of his head, while the rogue watched him with a satisfied smirk. "Have they figured out that we're on our way back yet?" Kallia asked, rolling her eyes at the two men's obsessions with their hair.

The smirk fell from the assassin's face as he went silent, the look of concentration on his face increasing slightly before he answered, "I do not think so, no? They are pacing aimlessly."

"Can we surprise them? Take them out from behind the barrier surrounding the Tower?" Alistair asked. "There's no point in fighting them if we can just take them out from back here."

But Leliana shook her head, "We could in theory, but that sort of thing never works. I don't have that many arrows and, even if I did, using arrows to kill them all could take a hundred years and some of us don't have that long." The last part had been said with a derisive glance to Avernus.

"The mageling and I could return to the enclave several stories up," Avernus suggested with a strange gleam in his eye. "They were put there so mages could launch large spells from the safety of the tower," he offered, pretending not to notice the four sets of suspicious eyes that turned upon him.

"Chances are your large spells would destroy the bridge itself or the demons would just retreat to the other door and wait for us to attack them," Zevran added. "That would put us in a stalemate and, again, we are, how do you say, in a bit of a time crunch, yes?"

"_That_," Kallia started, "And our spells won't pass through the barrier."

"Your spell went through the barrier back in that other room," Alistair stated with a frown, though it came out as more of a question. "And you destroyed the door downstairs!"

Kallia frowned. "I shouldn't have been able to…" she muttered quietly. "No magic can pass through that door unless it's within something living. My mana came though because it's a part of me, but spells will not. Even Sophia would not have been able to pass through. My fireball spell should have hit the barrier and disintegrated," she explained louder for the others, turning her eyes to Avernus in confusion and repeating, "I should not have been able to destroy that door."

The old mage's eyes lit with a delighted look that Kallia was all-too familiar with. It was the look an enchanter got in their eyes when a new bit of information made the project they were working on a little bit clearer. She could only wonder what project had him fascinated at the moment and hope that it had nothing to do with her or her companions.

"The fireball no doubt _did_ disintegrate when it hit the barrier; However, the sudden temperature change caused the wood to explode," Avernus said slowly, as though explaining to a mageling why you could weave the Veil a certain way and produce fire.

Alistair frowned, "That's never happened to me before and I've been to some pretty cold climates. Wood just doesn't do that."

"Add magic to the mix and just about anything is possible. Something a Templar like you couldn't begin to understand," Avernus replied waving his hand dismissively. "Does it really matter _how_ you destroyed the door? The fact of the matter is that you _did_."

The companions all looked to Kallia but she could only shrug. It was _possible_, she supposed, and (despite her reservations) Avernus was right about one thing. The _how_ didn't matter at this point.

"Sooo… We charge them? Use the element of surprise to push them back?" Alistair asked, dropping the topic and getting back to the planning.

"No," Leliana answered. "If we run out there we'll be surrounded and unable to fall back to the safety of the door if we need to."

"So, what do we do?" Levi questioned nervously.

Leliana smirked and a deadly light in her eyes, " I have a plan."


	61. Taking Back The Bridge

_Rawr! I'm feeling all feisty this week despite a raging cough. _

_Thank you to Kira Kyuu and victimofthegods for reviewing this week. It's good to know I've succeeded in making you hate Avernus even more than the game did. He's just one of those characters that even his (very few) redeeming qualities are a little skewed. _

_I've tried a new writing style for the fight scene this week. You know how in movies when there's a complicated fight scene, they overlay the audio of the planning as the fight is being acted out so you can really understand what's going on? That's what I'm aiming for here. Let me know what you think of it. It was rather fun to write this way. _

_As always, a huge thank you to my beta fishy Eva. I honestly don't know what I'd do without her . For the life of me I cannot write fight scenes realistically. _

.oO***Oo.

Leliana pulled a flash bomb from her pack and glanced at her companions. "Last chance. Does anyone need a mana potion or health poultice? Or _healing_?" her eyes pointedly landed on Zevran.

He simply smirked and replied, "Alice and I made sure the potions and poultices were all distributed appropriately, my dear Leliana."

"I told you not to call me Alice," Alistair muttered with a glare, but it lessened drastically when he noticed Kallia fighting a smile at the nickname.

"But it suits you so well!" Zevran replied, earning himself a smack on the back of the head from Leliana.

"Be quiet, Zevran!" she scolded. "We cannot risk the demon's hearing us if we want this plan to work."

"Yeeaah, _Zevran_," Alistair teased, drawing the words out and sticking his tongue out while Leliana's back was to him.

"Don't think I don't see you, Alistair," Leliana warned, glancing at Kallia, whose hand was covering her mouth while her shoulders shook with contained laughter. _Good_, she thought,_ the girl needs a good laugh._

The Templar's tongue shot back into his mouth and his jaw shut with an audible snap.

"Once we go down these stairs we cannot risk the demons hearing us. We must remain _absolutely_ silent. So if there is _anything_ that needs to be done," her eyes fell to Zevran again, "Then it needs to be done right now, is that clear?" she repeated.

"If we need to be quite, should I put a silencing spell around Alistair again? So his armor doesn't attract the attention of the demons?" Kallia asked.

Alistair's face fell. "But the last time…" he trailed off worriedly.

"Last time you were behind everyone, this time you'll be in front," Kallia reassured him.

"How will you know when to drop it though?" he asked.

"I'll take it down as soon as you're in position, before the battle even starts," the mage answered and her Templar nodded once. "I'll need to have time to remove it before he runs through the door," Kallia told Leliana, sending a wry look at Avernus as she added, "No point in mixing those magics." The other mage just scoffed as Kallia's fingers wiggled and the spell around Alistair fell into place.

"Is there anything _else_ that needs to be done?" Leliana asked one last time, exasperated, even Alistair was looking at her funny this time.

"Dannare[1], woman! We get it. Clearly no one has anything to do, yes? Let's go," Zevran replied irritably, crossing his arms and giving the bard a challenging look, as though daring her to contradict him.

Leliana met his eyes for several seconds with a hard stare but finally let off a huff. "Fine," she answered, quietly adding so only Zevran could hear, "Get yourself killed. See if I care."

.oO***Oo.

Leliana looked at her companions for silent confirmation they were ready.

_Leliana knelt with Kallia's journal in front of her, a rough sketch of the layout of the room below them drawn on the page and the rest of the companions crowding around her. _

"_The door acts as a bottleneck for us, we'll need to somehow push the demons far enough back that all of us can get out of the tower. This is the area that the demons will be able to see through the door," she told them, lightly inking in a cone-shaped area from the door. _

Alistair and Zevran stood on either side of the door, out of sight of the demons. A nod from each of them told her they were ready as they both slipped onto the balls of their feet, ready to sprint into action the moment their cue came. She pushed aside the worry about Zevran's breathing issue. He said he was fine, she would have to trust him.

Avernus stood several paces behind the assassin, holding his staff with practiced ease to prevent the assorted teeth and bones from clicking against each other and attracting attention. Kallia stood behind Alistair, perhaps a few inches closer than necessary (that little fact made Leliana fight a smile… But now was not the time for matchmaking). Kallia nodded her readiness, indicating she had removed the silencing spell from Alistair, but Leliana studied her carefully as well. This would be the first true test of Avernus's _supposed_healing, although she hadn't shown any ill effects from punching the other mage out with her injured shoulder.

Levi was well hidden at the top of the stairs, far away from the fighting. He would remain there until this battle was over.

Leliana nodded her own head once, closing her eyes for just a second as her focus pinpointed.

"_The first step will be to stun the ones right outside the door. I can throw a flash bomb, that will stun them long enough for our melee fighters to kill off those directly outside the door," she explained. _

The bard's eyes opened and a look of cold determination filled them. It had been so long since she'd planned an ambush and she was thriving on it. Time seemed to slow as the plan fell into action. Her bomb exploded, stunning the group of demons and skeletons that crowded the door.

"_Zevran and Alistair will run through the door the second the flash bomb goes off and take out the stunned demons."_

That was the signal Alistair and Zevran were waiting for. They ran through the door, Zevran falling just a step behind Alistair, purposefully allowing the Templar to go first as he barreled his way past the stunned enemies and into the now enraged ones. The stunned enemies were easily dispatched by the assassin. Once done, he moved passed the fallen demons and skeletons to join his companion before the demons' death explosions could injure him. Leliana moved forward to the doorway, taking out those she could with her bow while Alistair and Zevran tried to push the demons back.

"_Kali and Avernus won't be able to cast spells until the demons and skeletons are pushed far enough back that they can safely stand outside the barrier so I'll stand in the doorway and pick off what I can with my bow."_

For a moment it seemed as though it wouldn't work and Leliana worried she'd lost her touch but then, as though by fate, the two men fell into step with each other. They worked in tandem, moving around each other as though dancing, but easily staying out of her arrow's way. With the two men working together so flawlessly, the demons were slowly pushed back.

Leliana smirked as adrenaline flooded her veins.

"_As soon as it's safe, you two will run out and take up a post on either side of the door. Stun or kill as many of the demons as you can from that position."_

She stepped backward several steps shouting, "Go!" for Kallia and Avernus. The two mages bolted through the doorway in front of her. They fell into place on opposite sides of the door, launching the spells and buffs the barrier had prevented them from casting.

Leliana kept a close watch on the two men fighting, careful never to aim where they may suddenly need to dodge. This meant that she kept a close eye on Zevran's movements, and what the bard saw was beginning to worry her.

Zevran's movements were choppy. It was obvious to her that he wasn't able to properly control his breathing because of the lye that he had inhaled (despite his claims otherwise) and it was throwing off the balance of his attacks. Normally, each strike was as precise as a surgeon's scalpel. Cutting an artery here… Slipping through a chink there….But now his attacks where wide and cutting at anything that came near them.

He was making the rookie mistake of treating a dagger like a sword.

Leliana glanced at the mages on either side of her. They were holding their own and were doing more than enough ranged damage. More melee damage is what was needed, not ranged. So, with that thought in mind, Leliana hooked her bow onto her quiver and withdrew her daggers just as one of the mage's spells froze a skeleton aiming for Zevran's unprotected back.

"_I'll hold my position in the door as long as I can but if I need to join the battle with my daggers I will."_

Someone needed to watch Zevran's back before he got himself killed.

.oO***Oo.

Kallia watched as Zevran jerked backwards just in time to prevent some kind of demon from slitting his throat with its sharp claws. He was having far more trouble with this than he should have. For a split second she worried that Avernus had a play in it but the other mage had shown no interest in her fellow elf before and there was no reason he suddenly would now.

She cast Winter's Grasp on a Fanged Skeleton just as it was about to strike at Zevran's exposed back. Leliana ran from her spot in the doorway and kicked the skeleton, shattering it into thousands of pieces as it fell to the ground.

An Arcane Horror turned its head to look at her, contorting its face into a lipless smile. As it began hovering towards her, she felt a familiar fear begin to gnaw at her innards but unlike the last time she did not allow it to overwhelm her.

Darting forward, she rammed the three sharp points of her staff into its unprotected chest. She felt the top point hit what she could only assume was the Horror's sternum, but the other two fell between two very visible ribs. The demon let off an agonized howl before freezing solid.

Kallia paused for a moment in confusion: she had not cast that spell nor had she noticed Avernus casting it. The concern was quickly dismissed however, in favor of another question. Did she go back to her post by the door or did she join the others in battle?

A quick glance at the bridge gave her the answer she needed. The demon's numbers were beginning to thin as they were not grouped as largely as they had been before. Her companions were now in the middle of them and the only way to guarantee her spells would not hit them would be to join in the fray and position herself carefully.

With a satisfied smirk, Kallia ran deeper into the midst of the battle.

She was really beginning to like this staff.

.oO***Oo.

[1] Dannare – Damn (Italian)


	62. Healing

_Oooohhh This is a chapter I have been waiting for you to get to for some time! I'm literally __**giddy**__ with excitement… _

_Thank you to the people who reviewed Kira Kyuu, Durxa, victimofthegod! And of course my beta fishy Eva :)_

_I don't speak French so I'm relying on Google translate for Leliana's words. _

.oO***Oo.

The last skeleton fell with a slash of Alistair's sword and all the companions took defensive stances facing the door across the bridge waiting for another wave of demons to flood towards them. But when all that came was the eerie howl of the wind, they all let off a relieved sigh.

That battle had taken far longer than they had thought it would.

Kallia turned to Alistair, who happened to be the closest person to her, and began healing any injuries he'd taken during the battle (all minor, but she wasn't ignoring anything with the big battle they had coming).

"I feel like we just defeated every demon in the entire keep!" Alistair whined as her glowing blue hands hovered over his left shoulder.

Kallia didn't have a chance to respond however, because at that moment Leliana's voice suddenly erupted. "Imbécile! Vous failli me faire tuer! Damn votre sot orgueil![1]"

Kallia looked at Leliana in confusion. "What does his…" she trailed off as her eyes landed on Zevran. The assassin had collapsed to his knees, one hand on the wall the only thing that looked to be holding him up while the other pressed against his chest. His face contorted painfully with each shallow breath he took. His skin had turned ashen and had taken on a light sheen of sweat.

The greatest worry was that he didn't seem to have noticed everyone's attention had fallen on him.

"Blight blast it! What happened?" Kallia demanded as she rushed over to the elf's side.

"Orgueil! C'est ce qui s'est passé. Il a mis son orgueil stupide dessus de sa propre vie. Zevran inalato po 'di quella liscivia e ora sta mangiando la sua strada attraverso i polmoni. Lo sapevo! Sapevo che stava mentendo![2]" Leliana spoke quickly, her words running together and her gestures becoming more emphatic by the second.

"Slow down, Leliana!" Kallia shouted, interrupting the bards rant. "I can't understand you when you speak that fast. What happened?"

"He inhaled some of that lye, he said that he didn't but I know that he did. Now it's eating its way through his lungs," Leliana explained, looked at the assassin guiltily.

"Why didn't he just ask me to heal him?" Kallia asked as she gently tried to pry his hand away from his chest. The assassin didn't even seem to notice, but he was too strong for the mage to move his hand on her own. Giving up, she tried to probe his chest with her magic to find the exact problem.

Leliana remained silent as she watched Kallia try to heal their fallen companion. The question was rhetorical and the mage needed to concentrate. She felt an armored arm wrap around her shoulders as she silently stewed in her own guilt.

"It isn't your fault," Alistair told her, squeezing her shoulder.

"I should have known he wouldn't ask. He's been a Crow too long to trust someone enough to ask something like that."

.oO***Oo.

Kallia tried to focus on healing as Zevran's chest jerked beneath her hands. His breathing was coming in short gasps and the spasms of the muscles under her fingers told her he was constantly fighting a cough. A sudden burst of wind blew snow in Zevran's face and Kallia frowned, she couldn't work out here. The elf looked up at her companions. Alistair's arm was around Leliana's shoulders comfortingly, but both human's faces pleaded with her for good news while Avernus's face held a look that could only be described as bored.

She pursed her lips. "Alistair, carry Zevran back into the Tower. Leliana and Avernus, you say out here to guard against any demons that come so we don't get trapped again," she ordered. Avernus's face distorted in a look of annoyance but he was ignored.

Alistair released Leliana's shoulders and knelt to pick up their injured companion.

"Alistair, wait," Leliana's hand shot forward just as the Templar started to slip his arms around Zevran. "His daggers are still close at hand and I doubt he's with us enough to understand what's going on. Tell him who you are and what you're doing or he will react on instinct and attack you," she explained.

Alistair nodded once, he'd seen this reaction in injured warriors before. "Zevran. Zevran Listen to me," he mimicked the tone of voice Duncan had always used in these situations. It was hard, commanding. One that any trained fighter would listen to on instinct. It did the trick. Zevran's eyes lost some of the fog and focused on the other man. Once Alistair had his attention, he continued, "I'm going to pick you up and carry you inside so Kallia can heal you. Alright?"

Zevran managed a jerky nod but his lips quivered and the cough he'd been fighting so hard to control finally escaped.

Small drops of red spattered Alistair's face.

"Hurry," Kallia ordered and rushed ahead of them, puling ingredients from the many pouches around her belt. Alistair didn't waste time responding, he just picked the assassin up as gently as he could and rushed him back to the protection of the tower's walls. Unfortunately it seemed once Zevran's control over the cough was lost he couldn't stop it and the elf's whole body jerked in Alistair's hold. Each coughing fit was followed by gasping breaths as Zevran tried to get air into his lungs, unfortunately it seemed that each breath only managed to trigger another coughing fit.

He found Kallia standing just beyond the doorway, holding a wide-brimmed flask just above a small fire in her other hand. She took a deep breath and the fire became smaller but brightened. She had already laid out the cloak Levi had given her, Alistair assumed as a place to put Zevran, so he set the assassin down there.

"Hold him in a sitting position," Kallia ordered without taking her eyes from the potion in her hands. "He'll need to breathe the steam in from this."

Alistair did as he was ordered and after several moments, Kallia knelt next to the two men. She held the substance near Zevran's mouth and nose, but the moment the scented air hit his nostrils he clamped his mouth shut. He's cheeks still puffed out with every cough, but he seemed bound and determined not to breathe in.

Kallia's lips pursed and Alistair wondered why her face was taking on a pained expression the longer Zevran refused to breathe the substance. "Blast it, Zevran! You need to breathe this in," she ordered, mimicking the tone Alistair had used when picking the elf up. "It will numb your lungs and esophagus. It will help with the pain," she explained.

His eyes, stilled fogged over, focused on her face. Even though Zevran was barely able to breathe, he managed to raise a hand to her face. As his fingers grazed her cheek he rasped out a quiet, "R-Ri-Rinna?" His face was filled with such wonder. Hope and regret stronger than she had ever seen on anyone's face.

Kallia's eyes rose to Alistair's for a split second with confusion but when Zevran's hand jerked away from her face as another coughing fit started, her face became gentle as she answered him, "Yes. Yes, it's Rinna. You need to breathe this in Zevran. It will help with your cough."

Zevran did as she asked immediately. The cough prevented him from taking particularly large breaths, but as the steam worked its magic the coughing began to slow and his breathing, though still shallow, began to even out. After several moments, Zevran's eyes began to clear and Kallia set aside the flask and allowed the flame in her hand to die.

That was when Alistair noticed that her palm was covered with blisters and burns.

As soon as he saw it, he realized he could smell the distinct scent of burning flesh and his eyes went wide. Kallia ignored her injured hand, however, and placed both hands so they hovered above Zevran's chest. Both men watched as her hands glowed pale blue. Her hands remained over his chest for several minutes, her eyes darting around his breastplate as though she could see something they couldn't. After a few minutes, her hands moved upward and Alistair felt Zevran (who was staying surprisingly quiet) tense as her hands hovered over his throat.

The assassin's eyes flicked between her hands and face (which now had several beads of sweat dripping down it) several times as though he half expected her hands to close the distance between them and wrap around his throat. They didn't, of course, and after several minutes they moved up to his face. Though, Alistair noted, she cupped her hands together rather than leaving them flat and side-by-side despite the pained grimace it put on her face.

Alistair was forced to wonder if it was so that her fingers didn't cover Zevran's eyes for his own comfort or whether it was something that was actually necessary for healing.

After several minutes there, the blue glow of her hands faded and she sat back on her heals and waited. It wasn't long before Zevran opened his mouth with a delighted smirk, "I get injured and wake up with two fair ladies at my side? I should have done this sooner, yes?"

Alistair removed his support of the assassin, who fell backward suddenly but caught himself before he hit the ground. The Templar grumbled under his breath about not being a woman before yelling up the stairs for Levi and then storming out the door.

Kallia chuckled as she watched her Templar sulking just outside the door. A warm hand closed around her wrist and she moved her eyes to Zevran curiously. He studied her palm emotionlessly for several seconds before his eyes flicked to her face. His gaze was penetrating, curious and calculating, as though he were trying to see into her very soul. And she let him.

Kallia knew he was looking for her ulterior motives. Why she would injure herself to heal him. Why she would take the time to heal him at all. What he had done that had so incorporated him into the group that they hadn't simply left him. But she had no ulterior motive: he was a member of her band of misfits and rejects and, thus, fell under her protection. So she let him look as long as he needed despite the painful burning that seemed to radiate throughout her entire arm.

The seconds dragged on but the sound of Levi coming down the stairs drew his attention away from her for just a moment. When he looked back he finally registered the pain that filled her face and he glanced down at her injured hand again. He released her hand and reached behind him, pulling a small jar from who-knows-where and pressing it into her uninjured hand.

"If you can't heal that put this on it," he told her without meeting her eyes. "Burns get infected easily," he added and Kallia knew that was as close to a real thank you as she'd get. He paused to look over his shoulder before he walked through the door and the mage could tell that she'd created more questions than she'd answered, but it only took seconds before the mask fell into place and his eyes lit with mischievousness as he walked through the door and proclaimed his wellness to Leliana.

Then asked if the bard would like to celebrate his continuing life with the world's most carnal of pleasures, sex.

.oO***Oo.

[1] Imbicile! You nearly got yourself killed! Damn your foolish pride!

[2] Pride! That's what happened. He put his stupid pride above his own life. Zevran inhaled some of that lye and now it's eating its way through his lungs. I knew it! I knew he was lying!


	63. The Walls Have Eyes

_So I really did intend to give you this chapter last week because I know everyone is so eager to be done with Soldier's Peak… Not that I blame you, we've been here for quite a while…_

_Someone in a review pointed out something that I feel I should explain: I handled the fade sequence during the Broken Circle quest in just a few paragraphs but have spent a good chunk of the story on Soldier's Peak. While this was completely intentional there are several reasons behind it. _

_For one thing, everyone has played Redcliffe and the Broken Circle (both are quests I generally skipped a lot of the text of), because of this I don't really need to __**tell**__ you what happened. If you've beaten the game you played through it on your own. However, not everyone has played through Soldier's Peak because it's a DLC. Because of that fact, I can't just lightly skim over it and expect everyone to fill in the blanks because they don't necessarily have the information to fill in those blanks with. _

_Second, I feel the storyline of Soldier's Peak is very rich and one that I couldn't afford to just gloss over for Kallia. She has only just started coming to terms with the fact that Jowan lied to her about being a blood mage and then abandoned her. _

_***The third reason contains slight Post-Blight spoilers for the basic plotline. If you don't want them don't read this part***_

_Finally, Soldier's Peak is one of the main locations that the story takes place Post-Blight. I needed to make sure you understood why certain people would consider the place bad luck. Why just being there brings up bad memories. _

_***End Spoiler Section***_

_I'm trying very hard to get them back to the rest of the companions. I very much miss Mangy as well. Its actually gotten to the point a couple of times where I'll be like _Ohh, Mangy can do this here!_ Only to then realize they don't have him with them (I've actually written a couple of scenes that included him and had to go back and change it -_-;_

_That being said, you're almost done with Soldier's Peak and it will be quite some time before we come back here. Just bare with me for a couple more chapters. It's been a busy couple of weeks and I'm having to rush to keep ahead of you again. _

_In other news, we've hit the 300 review mark! I'm so touched by all the reviews I got this week :) Six of them! Six! I think that's the most reviews I've gotten on a chapter yet (max in the past was 5 I believe). Thank you to Evalyne_

_**Zeeji**__ - it's good to see you back, you've been missing for a while :)_

_**Kira Kyuu**__ - Yes, remember she did the same thing in Denerim when she made the uncleaning potion?_

_**Snowybiscuit**__ - Lol, I think this is the first time anyone besides Eva has called me a saucy minx. Thank you for your very well thought-out review (I made sure to send it to Eva as well since she deserves quite a bit of credit for the awesomeness that is Stars ;]). I hope in the note above I addressed your concerns. I don't mind constructive criticism. In fact, I enjoy it. It helps me to become better and occasionally point out things I missed or hadn't considered. I'll be the first to admit I'm not perfect and sometimes others will notice something that just goes completely over my head ;) So if you see something that makes you go _Hrmmm… That's not right. _Feel free to point it out._

_**Shinku-Okami**_** - **_Lol, I'm glad you think so highly of Stars! I certainly hope I didn't spoil you for other stories, as much of a compliment as that would be to me it would be quiet miserable for you. There are quite a few good stories out there. Of course, I recommend you check out __Abandoned Sanctuary__ by Evalyne (my beta and the story I'm betaing). __Merciful Blood__ (I can't remember the author's pen name off the top of my head .) is another good one. It's one of those stories that is in a league of its own and I can only hope that Stars will one day join it there. _

_**victimofthegods**__ – Trust me, Leliana's little outburst was just as fun to write. I love her character so much. She and Zevran both are characters that too often get taken at face value._

.oO***Oo.

Zevran raised his arms as he walked through the door after the Templar. "Leliana, my fair Orlesian flower!" he declared. "I have stood at the threshold of death's door and been pulled back the masterful hands of our fearless leader! Would you care to celebrate my continuing life by sharing in some of the world's more… _carnal_ pleasures?"

He was less surprised than he maybe should have been by the sudden stinging in his left cheek. He raised his hand to his face as he looked over the woman before him. She was perfectly luscious. Her cheeks were flushed pink from a combination of the cold winds and anger. Each heavy breath she took caused her breasts to swell and strain against the tight leather that bound her chest. Her eyes were bright with anger… but there was something else to them.

Relief, he realized only seconds before her arms landed around his shoulders with a tight squeeze.

Zevran hesitated. He'd had women's arms (and legs and other various parts of their bodies) around him many times… but this was not the passionate embrace of a lover. This was…. This was something else… Something he didn't know what to do with. Stiffly, Zevran raised his arms to wrap around the woman.

"Leliana…" he started but trailed off, unsure of how to finish. Clanking armor caught both rouges attention, and they both looked at the very uncomfortable Templar standing off to the side, shifting from foot to foot, and pointedly looking elsewhere.

Zevran felt Leliana's arms slacken as she pulled away from him completely. He released her silently and let her step back. The moment had been as awkward for him as it had been for the Templar and he was somewhat grateful for the interruption. When Leliana turned away, he could have sworn he saw one of her hands move up to wipe something from her face, but her back was to him so he decided he was simply imagining that her fingers came away from her eyes wet.

Zevran felt eyes on him and turned to find the blood mage watching him with the usual combination of amusement, disgust, and disinterest on his face (though the assassin had to admit he'd never seen anyone else manage to pull off that look before). When he saw Zevran looking at him, the mage scoffed and muttered for the umpteenth time, "You Crows are all the same."

"Ridiculously awesome?" he asked with a preening gesture.

"You all make stupid decisions then rely on luck to get you out," Avernus replied with narrowed eyes. It was not a compliment. "That you have the luck to escape these situations is nothing short of a miracle."

"I am like a cat with nine lives, yes? Meow!" Zevran declared, raising his hands in a clawing gesture like a cat would.

Avernus made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat and turned to address the Warden as she walked through the door with Levi, "Are you and yours going to nearly die in _every_ battle we get in?"

"Shut up, Avernus," the mage answered tiredly with a glare as she joined them. Zevran tried to look at her hand (the one she had injured helping _him_) to see if she'd been able to heal her burned hand. It was such a strange limitation, not being able to heal herself, but he supposed she understood the reasoning of it. Unfortunately her hand was hidden beneath the heavy cloak given to her by Levi.

"Shut up?" the blood mage replied slowly in amusement. "Is that the best you can do, mageling? What are you, twelve?"

The Warden let of a tired sigh. "No," she replied, glancing at the rest of her companions for injuries in need of healing, "Just too tired to bother with you." Her voice was almost quiet as she spoke. It held no reprisal or malice; she was simply stating a fact. Avernus sputtered as though she had treated him like a child that had acted out for the attention.

Zevran finally caught a glimpse of the mage's hand as it came out from under her cloak to heal a minor injury of Leliana's. The burn was healed… mostly. The severe damage had been reduced to the equivalent of a light sun burn. He could see the slight sheen of her palm that indicated she'd used the cream he'd given her and the fact that she wasn't reacting to pain every time she moved her hand indicated that it was doing its job.

The pale blue light around her hand faded and the Warden rose to her feet. She eyed each of her companions with a critical eye and Zevran realized she was looking for any other injuries they weren't telling her about. The assassin also noticed that, while her eyes lingered on his chest a few seconds longer than the others, she completely avoided looking at Avernus.

Giving herself a satisfied nod, she held one hand in the direction of the opposite door and said, "Shall we?"

.oO***Oo.

Leliana crept along on the balls of her feet as she walked down an abandoned hallway. The longer the small group went without seeing hide or hair of anything the more her hackles began to rise. She let off a small cry of surprise as she felt something dart past her leg and a tiny squeak from her left set off the tension that had been building. She notched an arrowed only just stopping herself short from shooting the rat that nibbled at a stale piece of bread. The bard relaxed, lowering her bow and let off a shaky breath.

She jumped suddenly as the creature erupted with a blast of cold and Kallia slammed the end of her staff against it. It shattered as it hit the wall. "Kali-!" Leliana cried as the mage killed probably the only surviving creature in the entire Peak.

But the mage just shifted her weight into a more relaxed position and explained with a simple, "It was a demon."

"No, it wasn't. It was a rat," Leliana replied.

"It has been a hundred years since there was any edible food in this place," Avernus answered her indifferently. "Where would a rat have gotten the bread from?" The frozen chunks of rat suddenly exploded….

Just as a demon would have.

"Great," Alistair muttered. "Now we have to worry about demons, skeletons, _and _the rats… What's next? The _walls_ too?"

Kallia opened her mouth to answer, but Avernus cut her off with a satisfied smirk. "I will know if there are any walls out of place. Do not worry, Templar."

Alistair's eyes roamed the walls suspiciously and Kallia sighed. "_No_," she corrected the other mage with a glare. "Demon's can't transform into inanimate objects any more than they can walk through walls."

"But rage demons come through the floor all the time," Alistair protested, though it came out as more of a question.

"They don't actually," Kallia answered. "They can reduce their fire and turn into a grease-like substance that seeps into the cracks or the ground so we can't see them."

"Like how a deeply seeded anger can lay hidden until something triggers it and then you end up disproportionately furious?" Leliana asked for understanding but Kallia just shrugged.

"I never questioned _why_ they can do it," she answered. "I just know they can."

"It also lessens their effect on the Veil around them," Avernus explained, satisfaction shimmering in his eyes as he added, "A _lesser_ mage wouldn't even notice they were there."

Kallia rolled her eyes at the obvious slight.

"So let me get this straight," Alistair started, completely serious this time, "Demons can transform into animals and _the floor_?"

"We already knew they could bubble up from the floor, Alistair. The only difference is now you know why. As for turning into animals, only a very small number of them can. The most clever and the most powerful," Kallia explained, shivering as she remembered her Harrowing. Avernus's eyes burned with curiosity. This was knowledge he didn't have, obviously.

"But if it was so powerful, then how did you destroy it so easily?" Avernus asked.

Kallia eyed Avernus warily. She motioned with her head for Alistair and Leliana to start walking again and, for a moment, it seemed as though she wouldn't answer the other mage purely out of spite. But after several minutes of silent walking, she finally spoke.

"Turning into a mouse makes you smaller, faster, and quieter but it also significantly reduces your ability to withstand damage. I could kill a normal rat with one well aimed hit from the end of my staff, so it takes little more than that to kill something pretending to be one."

.oO***Oo.

Both mages sucked in a quiet breath as they entered the room. The companions turned to look at them, Alistair pointedly avoiding looking at a pile of straw and an empty green bottle in the corner, and were amazed to that see even Avernus had paled.

"It is far worse than I remember," Avernus whispered breathlessly.

"It's been a century since you saw it, what did you expect?" Kallia asked, though her own voice shook with apprehension.

"What's wrong, Kali?" Alistair asked looked at the wall suspiciously, (just in case she'd been wrong and demons really _could_ turn into walls).

"The tear has spread beyond the walls of the dining hall," she replied, closing her eyes and shaking her head once as though to clear the image from her mind.

"We must hurry," Avernus added, his tone almost remorseful and completely lacking its usual_ better than thou_ attitude.


	64. Darning the Seams

_Thank you to Kira Kyuu and victimofthegods for reviewing. _

_I'm sorry for taking so long to get this chapter to you guys but a lot has happened these last two weeks. Everything went to the shit everywhere and I just outright didn't have time to even think about Stars. I went camping but when I got back my grandparents had to put one of their dogs to sleep (you have to understand that for my grandparents, these dogs are like their children). Not only that, but Grandpa's been put in Hospice care. I got sick while I was camping and the night I got back ended up having to call my mom because I got strep throat so bad I had trouble breathing. _

_**Plus**__, while I was out of town __**everyone I know**__ apparently decided they hate each other so there's been so much politicking and fighting among my friends I don't even know what's going on because I can't get a straight answer out of anyone. No two side's stories match but everyone has someone to back them up. All I've been able to determine is that Person 1 hates Person 2 and Person 2 been to the ER twice for anxiety attacks and blames everyone else for making his life stressful so he and two other friends are just going to up and move to another city in less than two weeks. _

_Because, __**somehow**__, this will solve __**all**__ their problems._

_Good lord, life was simpler when I had no friends. A lot more boring, perhaps, but definitely less stressful. Not that I want to return to having no friends, mind._

_I just wish they'd finish shitting out whatever crawled up their asses and died._

_As you can imagine, I've been a bit busy._

… _Well I feel better. _

.oO***Oo.

As if sensing the mages' intent to close the tear, the demons and skeletons rose up to stop them. Avernus made it made it to the safety of the blood glyph before Kallia.

The younger mage was forced to defend herself against a fanged skeleton that blocked her path. She was parrying the creature's attacks with her metal staff but the demons' overwhelming murmurs were starting to wear on her concentration. The skeleton was able to knock the mage's staff aside and moved in to strike when it suddenly pitched forward awkwardly.

Zevran slipped from the shadows, intentionally drawing the enraged creature's attention towards him. "It would seem now is best time to move, yes?" He informed her, giving her a smirk. He waited to see her nod in acknowledgement and scurry towards the protective circle before spinning and finishing the beast off with a whirlwind attack.

Even in her rush, Kallia was careful when she stepped over the black markings on the floor. A single chip in just the right place could completely destroy the protection it offered. She took a breath to steady herself once she was safely away from the demons. When she opened her eyes, her gaze landed on Avernus who stood across the circle from her with his arms crossed.

"What are you waiting for?" he asked, Kallia arched an eyebrow. "Pull it close so I can seal it."

"You should pull it closed," she replied, "I will seal it."

"I should think not!" he exclaimed. "I am far more experienced."

"You are more _powerful_," she admitted, "But sealing the Veil requires skill. It requires a finesse that you don't have. What you _do_ have the raw power required to pull the Veil closer and hold it there. _I_ will seal it."

Avernus pursed his lips, but was forced to admit the logic of her argument. It was based in fact, after all.

"Very well," Avernus replied tersely. He took a deep breath and planted his feet as though he were about to lift a very large log over his head. His eyes closed and he raised his arms, his fingers seemed to dig into the fabric of the Veil itself. The mage's whole body shook with the effort, but Kallia could feel the Veil inching closed.

As the Veil got close enough, she grabbed several threads and tucked them through each edge of the tear and, with every ounce of strength she possessed, pulled the Veil shut. It relieved some of the strain from Avernus, though his arms still shook with the tension his whole body no longer did. Kallia used the threads she had used to pull the Veil closer to tack it closed. She could still feel the demons as they struggled to get through the barrier but the holes between the tacks were too small for most demons to fit through.

Her companions would only have to deal with whatever demons were already on this side of the Veil.

But the tacking wasn't permanent. It wouldn't hold long enough for the Veil to heal itself. So Kallia grabbed several more threads, careful of where she pulled them from, and began the painstakingly slow process of stitching the Veil shut.

Sweat formed on her forehead and began to run into her eyes but her hands were too busy to wipe the irritating substance away. This was intricate work. She couldn't release the treads for a second without risking that they would unravel and, because the tear was so large, there were too many for her to hold in place with just her mind[1]. Her vision blurred as sweat ran into them, but her view of the Veil and her threads remained clear.

When the pinkish light of the force field filled her vision, Kallia let off a quiet curse.

A demon had made it through her companions.

She heard the crackling and popping of fire behind her. A rage demon, then. They weren't particularly fast or smart, maybe she could dodge it long enough to finish what she was doing then take it out. She felt the heat at her back and immediately sidestepped to the left. A clawed hand clipped her right shoulder and her grunt of pain had Avernus opening his eyes.

"Alistair!" Kallia shrieked, a note of panic in her voice as she attempted to dodge the demon and seal the Veil at the same time. It was impossible to do with her attention split as it was and she could feel the threads beginning to slip through her fingers.

"I can't get through," Alistair yelled back, panic creeping into his own voice, "The barrier is up!"

Splintering wood and then Leliana's distant call, "I can't get arrows through!"

"We can do nothing, my Warden," Zevran's calm voice answered from somewhere to her left. "You will have to kill it on your own."

Kallia met Avernus's eyes.

"Kill it, mageling. I will keep the Veil closed," he instructed.

Kallia hesitated only a moment before dropped all the threads she held before wiping the sweat from her eyes. In one smooth motion, she pulled her staff from her back and pivoted on the balls of her feet, turning to face the demon.

The demon reached forward to wretch the object from the mages hand before she could get a good grip on it, only to jerk its clawed hand away as if burned. Where the demon had touched her staff, its fires had dimmed, turning almost black against the rest of its bright flames. Kallia glanced at the cool metal object in her hands. Her staff was coated thin layer of frost save for where she gripped it. Confusion filled her momentarily, but the middle of battle was not the time to ponder these things as Avernus's grunt from behind her quickly reminded the younger mage.

She needed to immobilize the demon before it turned its attentions to the blood mage but she needed to be careful of how much mana she used. She was going to need every bit of her strength just to seal the Veil and had little to spare for killing the demon.

She hesitated, considering carefully what spell to use, but a second grunt from Avernus attracted the demon's attention and Kallia was forced to fall back on instinct. Frost appeared on the ground beneath the demon and she poured her mana into a Winter's Grasp spell. The demon screeched in pain as the ice dimmed it's fires, but with a determined flare of power it battled her spell. Kallia's free hand fell to several Lyrium potions she had tucked into her belt. She downed the chalky blue liquid and instantly her skin buzzed with barrowed magic. Snow and ice flew from her palm as the sound of the vial shattering as it hit the stone floor was lost to the sounds of battle.

Dozens of tiny icicles stabbed the demon through its thick, molten armor, freezing it from the inside out. It screamed in agony as it fell to the floor, reduced to nothing but the grease-like goop.

"Mageling…." Avernus warned. The young elf jerked her head towards him. His whole body was, once again, shaking with the effort of holding the Veil closed. Her skin still buzzed with the barrowed magic of the Lyrium, and with renewed vigor she grabbed the threads she had abandoned. They had begun to unravel but her weaves were tight and the damage was easily repaired.

Avernus was beginning to sway and Kallia felt his hold on the Veil loosen. "Avernus," she growled her warning, but the old mage had used everything he had. His grip slackened and the Veil grew tight around her weavings as the older mage collapsed to the ground. Her tacking held just long enough for her to finish her job before she, too, collapsed to her side.

The tendrils of unconsciousness slipped into her mind but she fought them back. Clamping down on the small portion of her brain that whispered her job was done, the others would take care of the demons, she could rest now. If even for a moment... Sheer will alone got her hand to her belt for another of the bottles attached there.

She downed it then paused a moment to catch her breath.

The battled outside her protected barrier raged on, however, and after only a few moments she forced herself to her feet and joined her companions in battle.

.oO***Oo.

_[1] This is a subject I'm not sure has been sufficiently explained. You'll notice that sometimes Kallia is able to manipulate the threads of the Veil without any hand motions and other's she is forced to wiggle her fingers. _

_This is not an inconsistency. _

_When the manipulation is very simple or uses very few threads she doesn't need the extra control and focus that using her hands provides. At the Docks of the Tower she was able to play a song with three strings while continuing to write in her journal. Whereas when she used her magic to cheat against Isabella she had to use the string to cover up the movement of her fingers. _


	65. Judgement

_*sigh* Life is complicated._

_Thank you to Kira Kyuu for reviewing :)_

_Finally, the final chapter of Soldier's peak! _

_Enjoy :D_

.oO***Oo.

"What do you indent to do with him, Kali?" Leliana asked as she joined the small group in the center of the room.

All eyes turned to the elf but she just watched with hard eyes as Avernus woke. She didn't say a word as the old man struggled to his feet nor did she make any move to help him. He groaned quietly as his back protested, aged muscles complaining of the strain they had been put under. "The Veil is sealed then," he spoke, though his voice held the inflections of a question as though he needed Kallia to tell him whether such was the case. "It is strong now?"

"Stronger, at least," Kallia answered curtly.

He nodded distractedly. "I said I would submit for your judgment," he told her heavily but he held his head high, meeting her cold eyes. "Will I be given a second chance and be allowed to continue my research in peace?"

"You have tortured and killed your Brothers and Sisters," she started coldly. "You have tricked and manipulated them like they were nothing more than pawns in a game you played for purely for your own amusement. You went too far, Avernus. You couldn't even begin to deserve a second chance."

Alistair reached for his sword.

Surprise filled Avernus's eyes for just an instant before his shoulders slumped with resignation. "I understand," he stated, and hung his head. Alistair drew his sword and stepped forward, stumbling as Kallia interrupted him mid-step.

"However," she stated pointedly, her voice still hard but her eyes had softened. They flicked to Zevran, who cocked an eyebrow at the attention, as she continued, "However… I seem to have a soft spot for giving second chances and they've worked out just fine so far." Her eyes glided back to Avernus, whose head had shot up at her words. Somehow he managed to look humble and arrogant at the same time. "So you won't die for your crimes. You will atone for them."

"If I can continue my research-" Avernus started, but Kallia cut him off.

"You will. _Ethically._ You can never give back the lives you have taken, but _maybe _you can make up for them by saving some without taking more," she told him.

"Of course," Avernus nodded, resuming his arrogant way of talking. "It may take months, years even. But I have no doubt that I will discover something that can be of use," he promised and turned to walk back to his lab, muttering to himself in Ancient Tevinter about all the things he could try now that he wouldn't' need to worry about the demons.

"Avernus," Kallia called after him warningly. He paused his mumbling to look at her, "If I find that you've even _thought_ about harming another person, I _will_ kill you. Atonement or not. "

Avernus scoffed, "As expected, _Warden._" He made it sound like a bad thing.

"I'm serious Avernus," Kallia warned again. "I already have everyone else to worry about; I refuse to worry about protecting my Wardens from you as well."

Avernus turned to look at her. His eyes held a strange gleam to them as he bowed his head forward a mere inch, "I would expect no less of you… Commander." Kallia narrowed her eyes at his easy submission to her but he acted like he didn't notice. "I will send for you when I have anything that may be of use," he told her, then made his way out of the room without another word.

Kallia pursed her lips but let him go, glad to see the back of him but knowing this wouldn't be the last time she'd have to deal with him.

Alistair saw her sour mood and instantly set to righting it. He clapped his hand together once and rubbed them together, "Well, it looks like we're done here. A demonic invasion successfully thwarted. A Warden base safely rescued…" he sighed, dramatically happy, and added, "We do good work."

Kallia chuckled and Alistair smiled seeing her foul mood dissipating as she turned back to Levi, "What will you do now?" she asked him.

"I…" he hesitated, looking around the room as though he'd find his answers. "I don't rightly know actually. For so long I've focused on just getting here that I… I never considered what I'd _do_ once I actually was. I suppose I should start plying my trade again…" The merchant sounded disappointed.

"You're welcome to continue travelling with us," Kallia offered.

"Oh, no!" Levi replied, throwing his hands up and even going so far as to take a step away from the mage. "I'd probably have been better off if I'd stayed at home rather than coming on _this_ adventure in the first place, let alone going on another. I'm no good in a fight," he seemed to think for a minute then added hopefully, "But I am a fair trader, if I do say so myself. My cousins and I have been looking for a safe place to store trade goods and the Peak would do nicely."

"You're welcome to stay here if you want, we'll need traders to get this place running again once we've ended the Blight," Kallia told him with a slight smile. Her eyes glided to the door where Avernus had disappeared and her smile fell from her face. "Just stay away from Avernus. I have no idea what threats he might still pose."

"O-of course, Warden," he rushed to reassure her. Kallia got the feeling he was more than happy to have an excuse to stay away from the blood mage. Levi reached into his pack and grabbed the map of the caves, "This should get you through the caves, I have the path memorized. I want to bring my wares across the river by the exit before I go to fetch my family."

Kallia reached for the map but Zevran grabbed it first. "Perhaps someone who actually knows how to read a map should hold it for safekeeping, yes?" he told the elf as he winked at her. Kallia gave him a mild, teasing glare but made no further move for the map and allowed Zevran to tuck it into his pack.

"Great grandmother…no…that… _thing_…demon…whatever it was… inhabiting my great-grandmother's body…. was right about one thing. You _are_ without a doubt the Warden Commander of Ferelden."

Kallia smiled at the merchant but, for the first time, felt no need to deny the title. Ferelden might only have had two Grey Wardens to its name at that point in time, but now she had a base. Somewhere she could rebuild her Wardens to their previous glory.

Her future now had a home.


	66. And Rope!

_Thank you all for being so patient. Its been a busy couple of weeks for me again. They found a tumor in my brother's sinus cavity. Luckily they were able to remove it without much trouble and (last I heard) had decided it was benign :)_

_What's really kept me busy though, is another project I've been working on with Eva (my beta). For those of you keeping up with her story Abandoned Sanctuary, you'll know that she has two characters she created for it (Laurena, her Warden, and Aslinn, an OC she added to the story). In our minds, her two characters and Kallia are quite good friends and (believe it or not) their basic personalities actually work amazingly well together. Unfortunately, we can't just bring them together for no good reason (Stars is a canon story, it would be impossible for me to bring in Aslinn in particular). _

_So we've decided,__** What the hell, let's write our own story where they can work together**__. Thing is, we don't want it to be fanfiction, we want it to be an actual story… so their backstories and personality have ended up tweaked a bit so they fit into the new world we created… Let's just say, I have a new found respect for the people who create whole new worlds for their books. It's a lot more work than you'd imagine…_

_They also ended up being secondary characters. But I quite like the guy we came up with for the main character. I actually wrote him for a scene in Abandoned Sanctuary but we were both like, __**I like this guy too much to leave him at this one 300 word section…. Must use him somewhere else….**_

_And BAM!_

_A book is being born. _

.oO***Oo.

Alistair's grin was the size of Library Index at the Circle of Magi as they made their way back to the caves. Kallia watched him with amusement. Every few minutes or so, when his grin began to dim, he'd glance at her and the joy would be refreshed. After this repeated several times, Kallia's curiosity got the better of her and she finally asked, "What're you so happy about?"

Alistair just gave her a goofy grin as he answered, "You said 'My Wardens'," he told her then repeated _my Wardens_ several times. As though it were a phrase from another language and he just wanted to see what it felt like rolling off his tongue.

Kallia's amusement grew but so did her confusion. "Yes…" she answered slowly.

Leliana giggled and grabbed one of Kallia's hands in her own, holding as she practically bounced with excitement. "He's excited because you've claimed him!" the bard giggled.

"No, no, no!" Alistair shouted, waving his arms frantically as pink stained his cheeks. "No I just meant this is the first time she's accepted that she's the Warden Commander!" he insisted.

"There is no shame in being claimed by her, my friend!" Zevran laughed, slapping his hand on the Templar's back heartily. "Now that she has claimed you, just think of all the fantabulous things you can do together!"

"Zevran…" Leliana trailed off, a slight scolding to her tone. He looked at her in mock surprise and confusion.

"What is it, my dear Leliana?" her only response was a mild glare and the assassin sighed, "Very well, my little minx, I shall lie to the boy, yes?" The assassin saddled up to Alistair and attempted to wrap his arms around the Templar's shoulders. The man stood stock still, refusing to acknowledge him. "You should be ashamed at being claimed by such a fine specimen of womanhood," the elf nodded with mock sincerity.

"Zevran!" Leliana shrieked. Zevran laughed and dodged away from her as she shouted, "That is not what I meant and you know it!"

"The whims of an Orlesian mistress are so hard to keep up with," he sighed sadly, shaking his head.

.oO***Oo.

The companions fell quiet as they entered the caves, the jovial air squashed by the threat of spiders and other creatures hiding in the dark. Kallia had kept her place at the front with Alistair, much to his relief. Not that he hadn't enjoyed Leliana's company, he quickly insisted to himself, it was just that he preferred Kallia where he could protect her. Because it _was_ his job to protect her… As the warrior of the party, of course. Yes, that was it.

Alistair nodded his head once to emphasize his point to himself (earning himself a questioning look from Kallia).

The sound of water reached Alistair's ears and his gut wretched in terror as a memory from only a few days ago (had it only been a few days? It certainly felt like they'd been at the Peak for months) popped into his mind of Kallia lying on the ground in front of him, soaking wet and not breathing. He closed his eyes but images of a too-pale Kallia were burned into his eyelids. She didn't know how to swim and that was just one more thing to add to the list of things that could go wrong. One more way he could lose her. One more-

A tiny hand slipped into his gauntleted one and he opened his eyes to see a very worried Kallia watching him.

"I don't know what's going through your mind," she told him cautiously, "But whatever it is, you should stop thinking about it if it causes you to react like this."

For some reason, this just made him more miserable. _Of course she would suggest that. That's how mages dealt with anything unpleasant or unknown. They just avoided it_.

It made his chest hurt.

"Just thinking about the river we have to cross," he told her. She looked confused as to why that would affect him the way it was. He wanted to grab her shoulders and shake her. _How can you accept such a near-death experience like it was nothing?_ He wanted to demand but held his tongue. He had no right to make such demands on her. Especially since he already knew what her answer would be.

_We're fighting a war, death is a possibility._

_I'm already living on borrowed time. _

Or, the worst of them all…

_I'm a mage._

As if her ability to use magic took away her right to live. As if she had no right to fight for her life when it was in danger.

"Zevran or I should go first," Leliana called from the back, interrupting his miserable inner monologue. Her tone was filled with understanding as though she somehow knew exactly where his mind was taking him. "Then Kali should walk right in front of you so you can see if she goes under again."

"And rope!" Alistair added as a thought occurred to him. "I need rope!"

Kallia quirked an eyebrow and Zevran threw back his head as he laughed. "My, my. Our little Templar has some kinks to him after all, yes?" The assassin clicked his tongue in mock disapproval despite the joyful smirk that lit his face.

Alistair's eyes went wide as he realized what they were implying and he quickly raised his hands and began a long line of denials. Kallia chuckled and finally taking pity on him and interrupting him, "What _did_ you mean, Alistair?"

"I just meant we could tie a rope around your waist," he insisted.

"Don't you think that's going a bit far?" the mage questioned him. "I _will_ be right in front of you."

"But this way we'll be _extra_ sure," he replied happily.

"Do we even have that much rope?" Kallia wondered, half hoping they wouldn't.

"Yes," Alistair answered, digging into his pack.

"No, we don't," Leliana corrected. "It snapped when we climbed down the short cliff, remember?"

Alistair winced, remembering the feeling of Leliana landing on him as he rushed forward to catch her. "Oh," he said miserably. "Right."

Zevran sighed dramatically. "It is too bad that it broke when it did, I had such a lovely view," he trailed off and eyed Leliana luridly. "Lavender suits you, my dear." The bard's eyes flew wide and her cheeks took on the tiniest tinge of pink, though whether it was anger or embarrassment was anyone's guess. Zevran laughed loudly and tried to dart away before the redhead's words returned to her.

Kallia watched the scene with amusement but Alistair's face was filled with minor annoyance. "Will you two keep it down? You'll attract the spiders," he whined, not really in the mood to add that to his list of things he had to worry about.

Getting Kallia across the river was worry enough without adding _spiders attacking from above while we're relatively defenseless_ to the list.

The young elf saw the hidden worry on his face and rested her hand on his shoulder. He instinctively covered it with his own. "If you're really so worried, we can tie what is left of the rope around my waist," she told him quietly. The hand that covered hers squeezed gently and he couldn't keep his relief off his face.

Leliana's eyes lit with delight but her face fell as she looked down at the rope in her hands. "But there isn't-"

"Now would be a good time to add that I happen to have some spare rope, yes?" Zevran smirked, removing his own pack and somehow materializing some very thin, strangely colored rope. He held it out to the Templar who eyed it suspiciously.

"Why do you have spare rope?" the warrior asked, looking at the rope like it might suddenly turn into a snake and bite him. "It's not even as thick as my little finger… what good is it?"

Zevran laughed, "It has its own… _unique…_ uses, yes?"

Leliana reached her hand out and fingered the rope gently. "This is silk rope," she muttered, more to herself than for her companions. "A fine make too, it's tightly braided and soft."

"I don't care if it's made from Andraste's golden hair! It won't hold her if the current tries to carry her under again," Alistair snapped.

"I can assure you, my friend," Zevran answered, a heavy look to his eyes, "It will hold her. That rope has held out against far more than a strong current."

.oO***Oo.

_Just a note, silk rope is usually tougher than the rope they'd normally carry. That's why it will hold her even though it's thinner._

_As for why Zevran has it… Well, I'll just leave that to your imaginations ;)_


	67. Zevran's Garden

_So I really am trying to get these chapters to you guys as quickly as I can but unfortunately, you've caught up. That combined with the added distraction of the book beta fishy Eva and I have started writing _

_Thank you to avekay, Kira Kyuu, and princessSiyaka for reviewing the last chapter. _

_But for those of you interested… The book is going to be awesome. We've got the plotline mostly worked out, we've developed a bit of history for the countries involved. Its turning out awesome!_

_Anyway, enjoy 67. I've got 68 written and we're just starting on the betaing… Hopefully 69 will be one of those easy chapters that writes itself… *crosses fingers*_

.oO***Oo.

Alistair glowered.

His joy from only a week and a half ago was easily forgotten when pitted against the distant and apathetic attitude that Kallia had slowly taken up the closer they got to the Tower. She was distracted by some thought that plagued her mind and he took little comfort in the fact that she was actually dealing with it instead of pushing it aside and ignoring it.

Every attempt to find out what was bothering her was ignored.

Every attempt at conversation (not so stealthily) dodged.

Every attempt at eye contact averted.

Even Leliana, who she had developed some sort of sisterhood with, couldn't get through to her. It seemed the elf has sunk into herself far too deeply for even the bard to reach her. Kallia was not going to open up until she was good and ready no matter how long that took.

So Alistair glowered.

At everything.

.oO***Oo.

Wynne let out an annoyed huff as she wrapped her shawl around her tighter. It seemed with old age her magic no longer defended her from the cold that was so determined to seep into her bones. Mangy whined at her side and pressed himself into her legs, knowing the human did not have thick fur to keep her warm and trying to share some of his own warmth with her. Holding her shawl closed from the inside with one hand, she sent the other out into the chilly air to pat the creature's head in gratitude.

"They say mabari are smart enough to speak, yet wise enough not to," she spoke to the war hound curled about her toes. He raised his head to look at her. "Tell me, my friend, does this saying apply to you?" she questioned. His tongue lolled out of his mouth as he showed her his teeth in a canine smile, he gave her no answer though. Wynne chuckled, "Kallia certainly can understand you, even if no one else can."

Mangy whimpered sadly at the mention of Kallia's name, lowering his head to his paws and eyeing the door. Wynne knew this wasn't the first time the creature had considered simply running off to find the elf. Wynne was sure the only reason he hadn't yet was because he had been charged with protecting her.

"She will be back soon, dear one. It will do you no good to look for her when you don't know where she is," Wynne told the moping dog at her feet. He made a disbelieving sound but made no move to stand. He didn't even raise his head at the sound of approaching footsteps. Wynne glanced up to see the innkeeper's daughter standing nearby holding a tray with an expensive (if rather old and chipped) looking tea set on it.

"I thought you might enjoy a hot cuppa[1]," the girl told her, motioning to the tray in her hands.

"That would be lovely, child," the old mage answered gratefully and the young woman stepped forward, setting the try on the table in front of her. "What did you say your name was?"

"Justanna. I'm sorry I can't put more wood on the fire, it's been a particularly rainy season and those men that attacked you when you asked about that Brother damaged the woodshed, I'm afraid," the girl told her regretfully.

Wynne patted the young girl's hand reassuringly, "That's quite alright, my dear. Perhaps when my companions rejoin us, one of them will be able to help with the woodshed. I have no doubt in my mind that Alistair would be more than happy to," Wynne assured her.

The old mage's eyes moved to the window. The outside world was distorted almost beyond recognition by the rain but the shadowy figure of a giant scouring the shoreline stood out to her immediately. His mission, whatever it was, seemingly too important to care about his own health, much less the comfort of the occupants of the inn.

"That would be very helpful," Justanna agreed but Wynne could hear desire to say more in the girl's tone.

"What is it, child?"

The girl was hesitant but finally spat out, "Well, it's just that... You're a mage. Could you not use magic to dry the wood?"

Wynne chuckled. "Yes, I suppose I probably could figure something out. Though it won't do much good to dry it all until the woodshed is repaired."

"I have seen mages use shields before. Could you not use your magic to shield the logs from the rain as well?"

Wynne chuckled at the girl's question. "Another mage could, perhaps. I have seen one of the companions I am waiting for keep some rain off with her shields. But I am a healer, child, my shields and barriers are not so strong or impenetrable."

The girl nodded, easily accepting the elder woman's greater knowledge.

"But before we get to that," Wynne reached for the teacups sitting on the tray, "I think you should join me for a nice spot of tea. What do you say?"

.oO***Oo.

"My fair Warden, your thoughts seem to weigh heavily on your mind. Perhaps you wish to speak of it with your most faithful assassin, yes?" Zevran prompted as he slowed his pace to match hers, her thoughts too distant to allow her to keep pace with the others.

The young mage wrapped her arms around her, rubbing her arms. Zevran's sharp eyes picked up the goosebumps that suddenly covered her skin, though something told him it had nothing to do with the temperature of the air.

"It's nothing, Zevran," Kallia denied, but Zevran knew the lie before it even left her tongue. He remained silent for several moments, considering while he allowed the distance between them and the two humans to increase.

His voice was dangerous and low when he spoke again, "A distracted elf is a dead elf, my Warden."

Kallia turned her eyes to him, unsure if it was a threat or merely a warning. She decided to attribute as the worried warning of a friend who knew no other way to express his concern. In the blink of an eye the heavy weight in his eyes was replaced by a mischievous light she had become all too familiar with.

"And let us face it, my dear Warden, without you around I shall be forced to abandon my garden to the neglect of your Templar."

"Your garden?" Kallia asked.

"Ah, yes. My garden is filled with so many beautiful flowers. The rare Orlesian beauty, the scent of this flower tantalizes the senses but you must be ever careful of her hidden thorns. My dangerous Cactus Flower, she survives even the most harsh of desert climates but is no less desirable for it. There is just a certain understanding required to get past the prickles. Even the Elder Flower has beauty of her own right, though she is beginning to wither and age. And of course," Zevran paused and motioned at Kallia, "There is my delicate moonflower, she wilts under direct sunlight but should not be underestimated for she has hidden strengths that will catch even the most seasoned of gardeners unaware. Each of these flowers requires tender and loving care but your Templar's hands are clumsy and unsteady. And, let us face it, he only has eyes for the delicate moonflower."

"Did you have a garden in Antiva?" Kallia wondered, amused and enjoying his tale. But the light in his eyes dimmed at her words and his face fell as he started at some distant point on the horizon.

"I did, my Warden. And I had a flower there that was so beautiful…" He trailed off sadly, his eyes growing distant. Kallia's mind was drawn back to the moment at the peak where he had looked at her with such amazement and wonder. _Rinna_.

"What happened to her?" she whispered.

Slowly, his eyes lost their distant gaze and he let off a quiet sigh. "I was foolish and my most deadly of flowers was cut from her stem before her time, my Warden. No other will ever compare." His gaze was heavy with sorrowful understanding and his tone as he turned to look at her, "Talk to your Templar, my Warden. Your silence hurts him, perhaps even more than it hurts yourself."

And then the seriousness was gone from his features as if it had never been there at all.

His cheerful mask carefully reconstructed as he joined the other two with a light teasing comment passing his lips. His hand roamed towards Leliana's bottom, his fingers pinching flesh that earned him an indignant shriek from his rare Orlesian flower.

Kallia wondered if he saw the slight smile on the bard's lips, even as she scolded him and refused to play his game.

.oO***Oo.

The room was filled with cheers as the final now-dry log was placed on the fire. The room had already become significantly warmer from the time Wynne finished the first log to the time she finished the last.

She returned to her chair by the fire. Though with the brightly burning flame that currently blazed in the stone confines of the fireplace, her table was now perhaps a bit too warm for comfort. Several older men came forward to give the elder mage a quick pat on the shoulder, a few offered to buy her a drink or a place at their table. She couldn't help but smile as she once again felt like a young apprentice who'd just finished a particularly difficult exam.

She could even feel several suspicious glares on her from some of the darker corners of the room.

.oO***Oo.

"We need to make camp," Alistair warned as he looked at the darkening sky sullenly. "Those storm clouds are only getting closer and it looks like it's going to be bad." The rest of his companions followed his gaze.

"How close are we to the docks?" Kallia asked.

"Not close enough, my Warden," Zevran replied.

"I'm afraid he's right, Kali. I'd say we'll be lucky to have an hour before the storm hits," Leliana added. Zevran's eyes lit with sudden mischievousness.

"And you, my dear Warden," he said as he slid closer to her, his eyes pointedly ignoring looking at Alistair. "You have no tent! My tent flaps are always open to you, my delicate moonflower, should you need shelter from the storm, of course."

"No!" Alistair turned on his heel and glared at the elf accusingly. Zevran merely maintained a _too_ innocent smile. Leliana, on the other hand, jumped at the opportunity she'd been waiting for.

"Alistair's right, Kali. He has the biggest test, it would be best to share with him," Leliana responded as she looked around for a sheltered area to set up their tents. She hoped to see a large boulder or stone outcropping, she would have settled for some trees even, but found nothing to provide even the slightest amount of shelter from the wind. Her face twisted into a grimace.

"There is nothing that would offer protection from the wind, my dear Leliana. Two tents close together will provide more resistance than three set far apart, yes?"

"I didn't think _you_ would know anything about setting up a camp in a bad storm. You seem more like an inn kind of person," Alistair grumbled under his breath.

"Ah, I stayed with the Dalish for a time in my youth," Zevran told the Templar with exaggerated nostalgia. "That is until I discovered the forest had too much dirt and too few streams to wash it off in. Besides, the Crows took into account that our targets may not be safely tucked inside a comfortable mansion and trained us accordingly. You are no good if you die from the elements before you can even get to your target, yes?"

"So I'll share a tent with Zevran and Kali with share a tent with Alistair. It's settled," Leliana stated. The bard watched Alistair carefully. His mouth opened and she half expected him to protest the impropriety of it. But his eyes bounced back and forth between the two elves before finally settling on Kallia, his mouth closing with an audible snap.

A large raindrop landed on Leliana's nose and she glanced at the sky again. "The storm is here, we much get our tents set up now!"

With those words, the companions fell into action. When the rain came down too heavily, Kallia's hands twitched and a magical dome appeared over their heads keeping the majority of the rain off them.

By the time both tents were erected, all four companions were soaked through, despite the protective shield over their heads.

.oO***Oo.

Wynne raised the thick canvas hood over her head before stepping out into the rain. She had to squint her eyes against the wind and fog.

"Sten!" she shouted hoping he wouldn't have gone too far. She received no answer. Wynne glanced down at the silent dog beside her. "Where is Sten, Mangy? Can you find him?" The creature made a show of sniffing the air and ground but made no move in any direction. Wynne sighed, "I suppose the rain washes away any sent for you to follow, doesn't it?"

He barked once, she assumed in agreement.

The mage pursed her lips and looked at the thick white blanket of fog in front of her, "Well, nothing to be done for it then I suppose," she muttered and stepped into the rain calling her companion's name once again. The old mage carefully made her way towards the water. Mangy had to stop the wind from blowing her over more than once. The fog was so thick she didn't realize she'd reached the shore until water filled her shoes.

"Ste-!"

"There is no need to shout, mage," a voice from right behind her replied flatly. The sound of the giant's deep voice cut through the raging storm with seemingly no extra effort on his part. It was as though nature itself feared his wrath, should it try to silence him.

Wynne flinched as she turned around, to find the giant standing less than a foot away from her. Her hand flew to her chest as she let out of a breath of relief. "You nearly gave me a heart attack," she told him, though she assumed the wind would be too loud for her voice to carry to him.

He eyed her cautiously, as though trying to decide if an actual heart attack was imminent, before answering, "That was not my intention."

She opened her mouth to speak again, but a particularly strong gust of wind knocked her off balance and nearly threw her into the giant's chest. He easily picked her up then turned them so the wind hit his back instead of hers.

"You need to come inside. There is a huge storm brewing and this isn't even the worst of it. We are all retreating to the cellar," she motioned in the direction of the inn though it was no longer visible.

"The weather is not a problem for me," he informed her. "I must continue searching."

"What are you searching for so desperately anyway?" Wynne demanded, her patience running thin.

"Asala," was all he said, as though that explained everything, before he disappeared in the fog.

"Sten!" she shouted after him, but the lumbering form didn't reappear. Mangy barked warningly and Wynne glanced down to see that water that had been around her feet had drained several feet away. She pursed her lips but knew it wasn't a good sign. The mage grabbed hold of the dog's scruff as he practically dragged her back to the inn.

As she pulled the latch of the door to the cellar behind her, she sighed and summoned a light wisp to fill the darkness.

"Kallia… Where are you, child?" she asked the empty stairwell.

.oO***Oo.

[1] _**Cuppa**_ is British slang. It means a cup of tea.


	68. Sharing is Caring

_Thank you to E, twiztidblonde87, and DeathDragon130 for the reviews this week. And of course thanks to my beta fishy Eva for all her hard work. _

_Those of you that don't review, please do :) Reviews keep me motivated and keep my attention on this story instead of the kagillion other things that demand my attention. _

_Also don't forget to go visit Eva's story Abandoned Sanctuary :) _

.oO***Oo.

Leliana's tent was not large, by any means, but it had always been plenty big enough for her so she hadn't had any reason to complain. Now, however, there was an elf sitting across from her in the too-small space looking entirely _too_ comfortable.

"So I am to understand you had a _vision_ that led you to our Grey Warden?" he asked her, putting a strange emphasis on _vision_ that made the bard's eyes narrow.

"I'm not sure I wish to discuss it with you," she told him suspiciously. "You'll just make fun of me."

Zevran gasped dramatically, his face taking on an expression of exaggerated woe as he spoke, "Why would I ever do such a thing, my Orlesian Mistress?"

"See? There you go," she frowned. "No, I'm not speaking of it to you. I refuse." She crossed her arms and turned away from him. The assassin smirked at her response and his woe faded into a thoughtful expression.

"Yes, I suppose the Maker would not want you to spread his words," he nodded quite agreeably and settled into a more comfortable position. "Very well, my dear Leliana, I accept you're reproach."

"I…" that bard hesitated, turning her head back to examine him closely. He did seem truly regretful that she wouldn't tell him… "Why do you even wish to know?"

His eyes lit into a delightful smirk, "Why, to make fun of you, of course!"

"You are utterly impossible," she glared at him, mentally promising herself she would not fall for his deceptions again.

"On the contrary, I am often told how very _easy_ I am, my dear," he told her, raking his eyes over her armored that seemed to accentuate just the right spots.

It was an invitation and the look in her eyes told him she knew exactly what he was inviting her to.

He had no chance to gauge what her reaction might have been, however as the sound of the rain hitting the tent and the speed with which it hit dramatically increased. Both the bard and assassin sharply looked up to the top of the tent, their previous conversation instantly dropped (though not entirely forgotten).

"That was too sudden to be natural," Zevran told her, turning to eye the tent flap warily.

"Kali must have taken down the rain barrier," Leliana added, though her tone held more worry for her companion's emotional state than physical. No one would be stupid enough to attack them in this weather and even if they had, she was sure she would have been able to hear at least _something_ over the rushing wind. "Perhaps she just… fell asleep," she said, but hated the way it had become a question.

"Or perhaps her Templar merely found a way to… _distract…_ her, yes?"

Leliana looked excited at the prospect, "Do you really think so?"

Zevran rolled his eyes and sighed. The bard saw more than she let on, but he honestly could not tell if she feigned naivety when it came to those two or if she truly believed they'd spontaneously declare their love and start fornicating like cottontails. He could not read her. There were times when he'd look at her and just _know_ that there was something else going on beneath the surface, but beyond that he could not tell what it could be.

He simply could not read her.

But he did _so_ enjoy a challenge.

.oO***Oo.

Wynne eyed the stone ceiling warily. She could hear the wooden structure of the inn above them groaning with the effort of remaining standing and she wasn't sure how much she trusted the stone roof not to come crushing down on them when the Spoiled Princess came crashing down on _it_.

"Don't worry, it will hold," the innkeeper reassured her with a hearty slap on her back. "This is the safest place in the whole village. Come hell or high water, it'll stay standing." The man was certainly boastful and proud of his structure. Even as a bit of dirt fell from the rafters above and onto his head.

His wife, Bella, scoffed as she bounced the toddler in her arms. "It had better be, we paid a bloody fortune to have it built. Haven't regretted it though. We've got more storage for winter harvest and a place to tuck away from the storms that come through. That bloody lake brings in more storms that I care to count."

Wynne looked around her, a good chunk of the villagers from the, albeit small, village had gathered in the cellar. "It's very kind of you to let everyone in here," Wynne commented, though she still eyed the ceiling warily as a particularly loud groan was emitted from inn above them. The innkeeper and his wife just shrugged it off and turned to check on their other customers.

Though Bella mumbled, not so quietly, under her breath, "So long as they keep their grubby mitts off our ale…"

"They didn't used to… Let the others in, I mean," Justanna told her quietly once they'd moved out of hearing range. "No matter how bad the storm, he'd only let paying customers in."

"What changed?"

"He's really an old softy at heart, but he was just a bit bitter against the world for the way his father always treated his little sister. She's who the inn is named after, you know. His wife is the same. A mean old cow, that one," Justanna's face scrunched up. "A mean old cow who's angry at the world for no other reason than it exists."

"His wife?" Wynne repeated in surprise. "Not your mother?"

"What? No! I'm just the hired help. I usually take care of the children," the girl (who was apparently _not_ the innkeeper's daughter) laughed. But then Bella caught her eye and she sighed as she rose to her feet. "And it looks like she's fed up with Thomas. Anyway, you should try to get some sleep. With a storm this bad, we'll be lucky if it passes by morning."

"I'll try, child," she promised, though the elder mage knew she would not.

There were too many things to worry about.

The Warden and her three companions were her greatest worry. They were nearly a week later than they should have been. Mangy no longer seemed to be overly concerned, that was all she had to tamp down the fear that tried to wiggle into her innards. Several days after they had separated, Mangy had suddenly become inconsolable… panicky even. After several minutes he'd suddenly calmed. It happened again two days later, at that point Wynne was no long willing to dismiss it as separation anxiety. She supposed she was grateful they had been fighting bandits at the moment. If he hadn't had to pounce on a woman about to lodge an arrow in her back, there was little doubt in her mind that he would have left them out of sheer panic, even if he didn't know where he was going.

Her most immediate, of not greatest, worry was Sten. She'd taken a liking to the strange giant, and with the storm raging just beyond the walls of the cellar, she could not put him out of her mind._ Asala_, he'd said. _Asala_… It was a word she didn't know. Couldn't pull up anything, even similar, in any of the languages she knew that had any meaning.

Her final worry was the wilder witch currently sitting in the corner, studying an ancient looking grimoire. Though Wynne had only managed a few glances at the text, she could tell it was written in a language she couldn't read. Something about that bothered her. The writing was familiar somehow, like she had seen it before, but she couldn't begin to think of where. A small voice in the back of her mind warned her about the book. Screaming that nothing good would come of it. It should have been burned rather than being given to Morrigan.

Wynne made herself comfortable on the small cot she had been given but made no attempt to sleep.

She was a mage, after all.

And, as a mage, it was never a good idea to go to sleep worried or upset.

That would only lead to disaster.

.oO***Oo.

The silence was killing him. As usual, Kallia seemed perfectly contented with it, however, and had even pulled a book from her pack.

"Sooo…." He finally started.

"Sooo…?" she drawled out, matching his tone without looking up from her book. Her eyes didn't even pause in their back and forth motion as she read. He glanced at the title hoping it would give him some insight as to what had had her so distracted lately. _Un Studio Di Sogni Ricorrenti_. It meant nothing to him.

"So…" his tone had a note of disappointment to it this time, he had hoped she would start the conversation.

"If you're bored, you could always read the book Zevran gave you," she stated.

The Templar visibly flinched. "No! No, no, I'm alright. Not that bored. Nope, not that book. Definitely not," he sputtered quickly. His reaction caused Kallia to raise her eyes to him curiously as he added quietly, not intending for her to hear, "That book should be burned, never to see the light of day again."

She quirked an eyebrow and returned her eyes to her own book, replying tonelessly, "I wasn't aware you were so against basic magic."

Alistair sputtered, trying to explain the fake cover (and slightly upset she'd accuse him of that, he'd thought they were past that ages ago), but unfortunately the few words he managed to get out were jumbled and nothing short of gibberish. It didn't help that he didn't really have the words to describe some of the things he'd seen in that… _book_.

People just didn't bend that way.

She waited patiently for several moments as words with little meaning left his mouth but try as she might, she could make no sense of the false starts and half-words. Finally, she sighed. "Let's just go to bed," she told him, tiredly.

"Bed?" He squeaked. "R-right… to _sleep_… Together… In the same bed… because there's only one," his discomfort about the book was replaced with an odd sense of contentment at the thought of sharing his bed (_to sleep, _he reminded himself, _to sleep_) with Kallia.

.oO***Oo.

Wynne had nearly managed to slip into an exhausted sleep when a loud pounding echoed through the cellar. Her whole body jerked awake at the scared gasps that followed. Somewhere to her left a toddler erupted in loud wails, making sure everyone in the room was completely aware of how dissatisfied he was with having his sleep interrupted in such a fashion.

"Go back to sleep," the half-asleep innkeeper ordered grouchily. "The wind probably blew open the door and is knocking a chair against the cellar door. It's nothing."

Going back to sleep might have been possible had the pounding not started up again at that very moment. Several more children chose just that moment to add their wails to the toddler's.

Everyone was awake now.

"For the Maker's sake," Wynne groused and she pulled herself from her cot. Her old joints protested the action, they were not pleased with having slept on the uncomfortable old cot after having spent the last week sleeping in a real bed. She ignored their complaints however, reminding them that _soon_ they would go back to sleeping on the ground and that they should enjoy what comfort they had while they had it.

Then she realized she was talking to her joints and decided she was far too tired to be awake.

She had every intention of smashing the chair that was knocking against the door once she reached the top of the stairs. She hoped there was enough water she could simply cause the moisture in the chair to boil and explode as she had accidently done with the first several logs she'd attempted to dry for the fire.

She'd already summoned the magic to her fingers, by the time she'd unlatched the door and jerked it open. But it was not a chair pounding against the door. In her surprise, she allowed the magic gathering in her hands to fade.

"Sten."

.oO***Oo.

Kallia watched Alistair trying to fall asleep and knowing there was no way he would be able to with his current state of mind. The man was lying on the bedroll, stiff as a board and seemingly trying to merge with the side of the tent so as to take up as little space as possible. He was facing away from her, though she wondered if he could feel her studying him.

"Alistair…." she started, he flinched at the sound of her voice and she wondered if, perhaps, she had been a bit harsh with him earlier. She pulled herself to knees and maneuvered so she was sitting near his head. "You won't get any sleep like that," she scolded lightly and applied gentle pressure to his shoulder to turn him so his head was in her lap. "Come here."

"Kali…" he started but she shook her head, silencing him.

"Now is not the time. Now, you sleep."

"I didn't mean-" he moved to sit up, but her hands on his shoulders stopped him.

"Hush," the mage interrupted as she grabbed several threads from the Veil and pulled them tight. The strings began to vibrate and splitting her attention without the extra control using her hands would have provided, she felt her control of the rain barrier slipping and eventually fail all together.

But the patter of the rain seemed to comfort Alistair just as much as the soft lullaby her magic produced, so she didn't bother worrying about it. All four of them were safely secured in their tents anyway. She could see that his eyes had become heavy with the comfort of her deft fingers running though his hair. Kallia barely noticed when she began to hum along with the tune and, eventually, when the words began to fall from her lips.

Slow and soft to match the tune.

"_Hush, little mageling,_

_Slip into the Fade._

_Demons are waiting,_

_To take your soul away._

_Don't let them near you,_

_Don't let them see,_

_Forget all your worries,_

_Your hopes and your dreams. _

_The Templars are guarding,_

_Ever vigilant._

_The Sisters are watching._

_Ever observant._

_Don't let them near you,_

_Don't let them see. _

_Pretend to have no worries,_

_No hopes and no dreams…"_

Kallia's voice trailed off, leaving off the following verses as a single word caught her attention. _Pretend. _The thing that had worried her, that had plagued her dreams, for over a week was suddenly clear to her. Stories and warning, she'd had repeated to her over and over in her childhood (stories and warnings she'd then repeated to the magelings to follow her) suddenly took on new meaning.

The lullaby didn't say _don't love_.

It didn't say _you aren't capable of love_.

It just said _don't let them see you love. _

Her hands stilled with that realization and the tent fell silent except for Alistair's quiet, steady breathing and the patter of the pouring rain.


	69. Dreams and Desires

_So its Tuesday, I'm trying very hard to get back to the Monday chapter deal but unfortunately time has other dictations. Lucky for you this one was written last week, Eva and I just had to finish the betaing changes. _

_To reassure those of you who only joined us recently and missed the mentions in previous chapter Authors Notes, the plan is very much to continue this story Post-Blight. In fact, in its conception, this was a oneshot of what Kallia started as, and then it jumped to the Post-Blight chapters which are quite long. But I quickly realized that without seeing those changes for yourself, you would never really understand the strength and personality that Kallia has. That and I'd never be able to describe the relationships that develop over the Blight… _

_It had to be written out._

_Once that's done I have many plans for the post-blight section. You might not like me for all of it, but there are certain things that have to happen for thing to end the way I want them to. _

_So the question is not __**if**__ I will continue, but whether fanfiction . net will allow stories of the length necessary. To give you an idea of what I mean… The Blight section of the story is really only about 2/3rds of the storyline. We've only done one of the main quests and are half way through the ashes and we're already at chapter 70… This story will be ridiculously long and will likely take years to complete. At least I can promise you're in for one hell of a ride. _

_That said… I actually got 10 reviews this week. *Cries with happiness* I've never gotten this many reviews in a week before. _

.oO***Oo.

Leliana and Zevran crouched together on one side of the tent, both rogues not speaking a work but both trying to hear what was going on in the other tent.

Another minute passed before Leliana moved away from the thick canvas with a sigh, "I don't hear the music anymore."

The elf stayed pressed against the side for the briefest of times before he too moved away shaking his head. "It seems our Wardens finally went to bed, perhaps we should as well, yes?"

"Yes, there is no knowing what will be waiting for us at the docks," the bard agreed, turning to spread out her bedroll. She heard the tell-tale sounds of a buckle being loosened. The red head turned towards the noise to see Zevran shucking his leather armor. "What are you doing?"

"Preparing for bed, as suggested, yes?" his face held an all too innocent expression.

"Could you at least stay on your side of the tent when you do that?" Leliana said turning her back to him as the rustling continued.

"But it is such a small enclosure it is hard to maneuver, yes?"

Leliana took off her boots and climbed on top of the thick padding, pointedly turning away from the elf.

"Do you not wish to also get comfortable, as well?" the assassin asked.

"I am perfectly content sleeping in my armor," she replied distantly.

"I have no doubt you are very comfortable in _any_ type of leather outfit , my mistress," Zevran chuckled, "But come! There is no need to be shy, I promise I shall not peek."

"I don't believe you," she answered instantly.

He clicked his tongue at her, "So quick to dismiss my honorable intentions."

Leliana sat up, "We are both adults here, Zevran, and I would like to get some rest. So no more games, you stay on your side of the tent and I will stay on my side."

"Yes, we are both adults, this is true. So there is no reason for you treat me like a hormonal teenager who cannot control himself." The elf laid down on his side of the tent without another word and covered himself with the sheet. Despite the lack of anger or hurt in his tone, she had the distinct impression she had offended the assassin.

.oO***Oo.

Wynne stared at the dripping giant standing in front of her.

"Sten," she breathed disbelievingly.

"That is correct, mage," he informed her monotonously. The giant waited a moment then added, "You are blocking the stairway."

"Oh! Right, yes come down. I'll see if I can find some towels," she replied, moving out of his way and pressing herself against the wall so he could pass her. She eyed his dripping clothes warily and wondered if it would be safe for someone to run up to his room for a change of clothes. He couldn't stay in the wet ones he was wearing.

.oO***Oo.

_Kallia was curled up next to him, her head on his chest. The privacy that the walls of their quaint little home provided giving him the chance to study his wife as he so rarely got to do these days… What with all the children running around. He began to fiddle and play with her long hair but froze when he suddenly felt her whole body tense. She shot up in the bed next to him, her bleary, blue-green eyes searching the room. _

"_Marianne-" she started, still scanning the room for their youngest daughter._

"_Slept in her own bed last night," he finished for her with a goofy grin, fatherly pride warming his chest. _

_She turned to look at him, a suggestive smile making its way to her lips as she blinked the last of the sleep from her eyes. "Did she now?"_

_He hummed in agreement as her lips claimed his before he could answer. When they parted, her lips barely left his as she murmured quietly, "Well the children won't be up for another hour. I'm a bit of a loss as to what to do in the mean time." _

_His arms wrapped around her, pulling her against him as he replied, "I can think of a thing or two."_

Alistair's mind clung to the happy dream filling his brain, not quite willing to give it up. Despite his best efforts, though, the same thing that happened every time happened once more. The soft bed turned into a thin pad on hard ground. The house filled with the quiet snores of their children turned to a tent filled with the soft patter of the rain. And the warm body of his wife turned into…

Alistair's eyes shot open wide with the realization that the warm body from his dream was still in his arms.

.oO***Oo.

_Kallia leaned her hip against the table as she read over a report from one of her Wardens in the South. Lothering was reclaimed; soon Ostagar would be theirs again. Movement caught her eye and she looked up to see Alistair leaning against one of the bookshelves. _

_With a smooth movement he moved away from the wall and closed the distance between them, easily trapping her between himself and the solid wood of the table. His eyes were burning with a new heat, one she had never quite allowed herself to see there before and she allowed herself to be closed in, curious to see what would happen. _

_This aggressiveness wasn't normal for her Templar. Oh sure, he looked like Alistair… But these were not the actions of her bashful Templar. _

_She'd take it though, because this is all she could get. _

_He claimed her lips ferociously and she responded in kind. When he pulled back, she looked him over carefully. The hot fire still burned in his eyes, but the ferocity was gone. Replaced with the gentle hesitancy she recognized. She smiled encouragingly at him and jumped a little so she was sitting on the table. Both mage and Templar ignored the crinkling of important papers. _

"_You've been gone too long," she gasped heatedly against his neck. _

"_You're the one that sent me off on the mission," he replied. "I warned you about what happens when I lead."_

"_Lost… No pants…" was all she could manage. _

_**This**__ was her Templar. _

_He murmured something unintelligible against her neck. She decided he would be allowed to lead more often. Only her, though. He was only allowed to lead her. _

_Because he was her Templar._

"_I love you," she murmured quietly as he shifted his hips. _

"_And I you."_

"_Alis-" she cut herself off with a gasp as the Templar slid home. _

Her eyes shot open to see a very worried Alistair kneeling over her and trying to shake her awake. "A'str?" she slurred, her voice groggy with sleep.

"You were moaning and moving around a lot in your sleep. I thought it might be a nightmare…" he trailed off nervously. She let off a groan and rubbed her hand down her face. Her silence only made him start babbling. "I mean I knew it wasn't a _nightmare_, but it could have just been a plain nightmare or something. Everyone is bound to have a couple of those, right? I have this one nightmare where I keep going from shop to shop but no one has any cheese and-"

"I'm fine, Alistair," she told him, keeping her hand over her eyes as she tried to bring her heavy breathing under control.

"R-right," he stuttered, suddenly realizing he was crouched over her and backing off. He studied her worriedly. She said she was fine, but she didn't look it. Her face was flushed and she was breathing hard. She still hadn't moved her hand, but he would swear her face was pinched with worry beneath it.

The remaining warmth from his dream faded. She was still shutting him out of whatever was bothering her and he wondered if the nightmares were why she had seemed too tired all week. With a sad sigh, he reached dug through his back and pulled out a few logs of dry wood (wrapped in another bag to prevent splinters from getting everywhere. He couldn't help but smirk proudly at his own forethought.

He bet Zevran would never have thought of that!

He shifted the logs under one arm and used his free one to start untying the tent flaps. When he finally opened them, he held back a groan. He'd heard the quiet patter of the rain on the tent, but he had hoped that it would be a very light sprinkle.

But, no.

The Maker himself seemed to hate Alistair today.

Outside, it was raining just enough to be irritating but not heavy enough to prevent him beginning his morning routine. Fabric rustled behind him and the rain inside their little camp ceased. A glance behind him showed Kallia still laying flat on her back with one arm raised straight up, her finger splayed, the other arm draped casually over her eyes.

"Thanks," he said quietly and stepped out of the tent. The sound of her arm hitting the blankets with a quiet _thump_ and a grunt were all that answered him. He couldn't help but wonder what time she'd actually gotten to sleep last night.

.oO***Oo.

_How did you enjoy the sexytime dreams? I find it endlessly amusing that they just happened to happen on chapter 69, lol!_


	70. Burning Embers

_I seem to have caught a mild case of death. *Dramatic pose of woe* Please begin the appropriate mourning processes._

_This cold is kicking my ass and I want nothing more than to simply go home and zonk out with the assistance of Nyquil. But, as they say, no rest for the weary. There's stuff here at work that I have to do and I'm the only one that can do it. Yaaay, job security! -_-;_

…_ So if someone could just knock me unconscious for a while and tell the world I'm dead, that would be great… _

_For those of you interested, Eva and I are making great progress on the book we're writing. I've actually gotten the prologue through chapter 2 finished, she's adding a bit at the end of 3 and I've started on 4. It's looking like it will end up being a three book series… _

_Assuming I don't die from this cold before its finished._

.oO***Oo.

Alistair had only just managed to get a fire started when Kallia plodded out from their (No, _his, _there was no _them_) tent. Her first step outside the tent put a look of surprise on her face and she instantly looked to her feet. Only then, did Alistair realize she wore no shoes.

No shoes, no belt, no quilted over-apron, her hair was not up in its usual buns, or even the braids she usually slept in. Instead, her long hair tumbled down her back in soft, slightly tangled waves.

She wore only the reddish-brown skirt and long-sleeved undershirt of her robes, crumpled, though both were. Well, only that and the dagger she had kept strapped to her thigh since their last visit to the Tower. It never left her leg anymore, even when she slept. Her outfit was exactly what she'd been wearing when he fell asleep the night before and when he woke up that morning.

It was what she'd slept in, he realized.

Each step towards him and the fire had mud squelching up between her toes. She didn't look overly pleased with that fact but continued towards him anyway rather than turning back to the tent for shoes. It was only a few steps. Still, _he'd_ had the forethought to put shoes on before exiting their (_his_) little tent. He'd have thought after all these months outside the Tower she'd have had that thought too.

Apparently not.

"I was going to make breakfast, but Leliana has all the cooking gear," he told her as she sat on a large rock, conveniently right next to where the fire was.

"Don't worry about it," Kallia answered distractedly, trying to run her fingers through her hair. She winced as they snagged on a particularly determined knot. "I wouldn't want you poisoning us on accident anyway."

Alistair's face fell into a sulk and he muttered under his breath, "Almost put deathroot in the pot _one time_ and you're branded for life…"

Kallia gave a thoughtful hum and continued to untangle the knots in her hair. Whatever dark thoughts she'd been having the rest of the week clearly weren't plaguing her as they had every other morning that week.

He did wonder if she realized the frustrated little noises she was making in the back of her throat as she expertly picked at the knots. Alistair was quite enjoying them and made no attempt to fill the silence with his usual babble.

The young mage paused for a moment as though debating whether or not she wanted to say something before a smirk lit her face. "You should loan me that book Zevran gave you sometime, Alistair," she told him, a mischievous light in her eyes far too similar to a certain assassin's for his comfort. "Sometimes it can be good to go back to the basics."

He choked on the very air he was breathing.

"Perhaps we should _study_ together sometime," she offered as though she hadn't noticed. "I'm sure there's a lot I could teach you, if you're interested."

"I… You… That's….. _What?_" The final word came out as little more than a squeak.

Surely she didn't know what she was offering?

Oh, but the look in her eyes seemed to say _yes_ she knew exactly what she was offering.

Her eyes darted away from his and he followed them to stare at Leliana's tent. Now that he listened, the sound of shuffling fabric reached his ears. After several seconds, it ceased though, and he attributed it to someone shifting in their sleep and not the sounds of a couple of nosy (eavesdropping, meddling) rogues.

When he turned his eyes back to her, the fires still burned within her blue-green irises but they seemed to have softened, reined in by her iron-fisted control once more.

"I'll wake the other two, we should get going soon," she told him with a smile. It crinkled the skin around her eyes and he returned it with a goofy grin. They held each other's gaze for a moment, just taking a moment to enjoy smiling at each other. They never got to do that, never took the time just to enjoy one another's presence. Neither dared to move, to break the silent truce the world seemed to have made not to disturb them. Yet somehow, without either moving, they wound up a hair's breadth apart, breathing the same air and still gazing into each other's eyes.

He raised his hand to trace up her jawline; his fingers coming to rest just behind her ear, burying themselves in her hair. He was delighted with the feel of it running between his fingers. . "Kali…." A whispered prayer, the plea of a starving man presented with a feast. It was a tone she had only ever heard him use when speaking with her.

"The others will be up soon," she warned breathlessly. It was a question… An invite. But also a warning, _Are you ok with being caught?_

"We are already up, my Warden," interrupted Zevran as he pulled the tent flap aside. Alistair jerked away from her as though she were hot coals at the same moment a loud _smack_ resounded from Zevran's direction. "Ow! Danarre, women! What was that for?" he demanded, rubbing the back of his head tenderly. His unbraided blond hair fell in his face as he took up an exaggeratedly wounded look.

"You interrupted them!" Leliana whispered angrily, attempting to smack him upside the head once more for good measure. He dodged but she hadn't really expected to hit him a second time.

"If I had not interrupted them, the cart that's coming would have," he defended, already reaching for his daggers. The comment had his three companions reaching for their own weapons. Leliana had her bow notched and aimed for the road when two familiar dwarves rode into sight.

The cart hesitated for a moment, the driver pausing at the site of four armed people in its path, before Kallia allowed the magic to dispel from her hand, instead raising it high and waving it in greeting. "Bodhan! Sandal!"

Zevran remained on guard, but took his queues from his other companions. These were people they knew and trusted enough to put their own weapons away. A younger looking dwarf leaped from the cart, running ahead of it to the female Warden.

"Enchantment!" he cried at her, hugging her hips and burying his face in her stomach before pulling away and repeating, "Enchantment! Enchantment! Enchantment!"

Alistair glowered jealously at the young dwarf (who was bouncing on the balls of his feet, practically jumping, with excitement) as Kallia crouched to hug the dwarf replying, "It's good to see you again too, Sandal."

The cart reached them then, pulling to a stop just before their tents. Bodhan hopped down from the driver's seat and frowned at the younger dwarf. "You can't just go jumping from a moving cart like that, my boy," he scolded.

"Enchantment…" Sandal repeated rather dejectedly.

Bodhan looked very much like he wanted to remain stern, the after only a few seconds that resolve was obviously fading. The older dwarf sighed, "I can't stay mad at you, my boy. Why don't you show the Warden what you made for her?"

In the blink of an eye Sandal went from hanging his head to happily running off to the cart with a massive grin on his face. "You know, sometimes I think that boy understands more than he lets on," the merchant grumbled to himself, shaking his head before looking around them thoughtfully then said, with clear intent, "This is a mighty nice shield you have here, Warden. Keeping the rain off and all."

Kallia laughed, "You are welcome to travel with us again, Bodhan. We're on our way to the docks."

The dwarf smiled and rubbed his hands together. "Excellent, Warden. I shall enjoy travelling together again. Perhaps you'd like to put some of your gear on the cart? I have a bit of extra room."

.oO***Oo.

Wynne crossed her arms and glared at the Giant standing next to the wall as silent and watchful as a Templar. His nose twitched slightly and his eyes began to water but she wouldn't have seen it if she hadn't been watching. She frowned and looked at him closely.

His usual tan skin had paled, if only a smidgen, and had taken on the sheen of a layer of sweat.

"You're sick," Wynne declared looking at him.

"I am not, mage," he answered, though his usual stoic stare was almost comical coming from sunken, bloodshot eyes.

"You are," the elder mage argued, her frown deepening. He didn't answer, his face screwing up and his eyes watering once more, and Wynne crossed her arms and glared at him. "You're fighting a sneeze right now. I can see you doing it."

He didn't answer her for several moments, his face remaining pinched in the effort to not sneeze. Slowly, it faded back to its usual impassiveness and he stated, as though he had not heard her, "I will sleep for several hours now."

The healer pursed her lips in displeasure but dropped it and found her own cot in the cold cellar. She was tired and the storm was nearly over.

He would not die from a common cold in the few hours of sleep she intended to grab.


	71. Trusting and Forgiving

_I live!_

_I am sorry this has taken so long (and the lack of death threats to hurry up and continue is greatly appreciated!) But between everything going on this last month and the fact that this chapter just did __**not**__ want to be written, it seems as though it just got put on the back burner. To make up for it you do get a slightly longer than usual chapter, though. _

_They were supposed to actually meet up back together in this chapter but… well... The chapter decided it didn't want that to happen __**quite**__ yet. _

.oO***Oo.

Kester waved to the old woman standing on shore before he stepped of the pier and tied it down. After making sure it was secure he went back for a brown paper package. "Are you Senior Enchanter Wynne?"

"Just Wynne, please. Are those the items I requested from the Circle?" she said indicating the package in the ferryman's hand.

"Yeah, this is it," he handed he the plain looking package. "Must be important for them to not wait until the storm completely passed. The First Enchanter himself was waiting at the docks with it."

Wynne smiled gently, "Kallia always was like a daughter to him."

.oO***Oo.

Mangy watched with mild disinterest as the boatman handed the old mage some package. It smelled of angry men (that smelled like Magic Knight but were not Magic Knight) that his elf had told him were members of her old pack. The place she told him she had called home, once. The mabari let off a dissatisfied huff. His elf might have once been a member of the pack across the water, but they had rejected her and he wouldn't let them hurt her again.

It was with that thought that the dog rose to his feet and, as stealthily as he could, snatched the brown wrapped package from the table. The old mage let off an annoyed cry as he bolted up the stairs and down the long hallway to the witch's room, where he knew the Elder wouldn't look for him.

The wilder witch glared at him as he pawed the door open then nudged it shut behind him. It was only when the Elder shouting his name floated through the door that her glare was replaced with amused approval.

When the sound of the elder mage's footsteps approached the door, Morrigan hissed quietly, "Hide! Quickly!" The mabari scurried behind the bathing screen and huddled over his prize in the very darkest corner just as the sound of the door opening filled the room. It took only a few harsh words for the wilder witch to drive the elder mage from her room. When the door closed again, Mangy instantly started sniffing at the package.

"What have you taken from that old crone?" the witch asked as she joined him behind the screen. He let off a growl and several quiet huffs, in no uncertain terms informing her that this package was from across the water and could be a risk to his elf. The dark haired mage backed off at his growl; even if she could not understand the words, his meaning was clear enough.

She pursed her lips in annoyance but returned to the book on the table, leaving the mabari to his stolen prize.

.oO***Oo.

Leliana glanced at the assassin walking in front of her with concern. Zevran was on edge, but that much was expected… Just because his companions trusted the two dwarves did not mean he would instantly as well. Kallia's acceptance of the merchant and his son seemed to have gone a long way towards easing the distrust the assassin felt, but in the end even that wasn't enough.

In a way, Leliana supposed she understood his reaction. Kallia had shown Zevran a loyalty he'd never had before, one he had never dared to dream existed, and in doing so she had earned deep loyalty and trust in return. Kallia had awoken long-buried protective instincts within the assassin and he would not let anyone harm her.

The bard could see the protective glint in his eye as he wrapped his arm over one of the younger elf's shoulders, using the cover of flirting to remain close. It was not lost on Leliana how much that position showed the trust he had come to have for the mage.

That pose was one that took great trust on both sides.

Zevran's side was exposed to Kallia with very little protection just as her neck was exposed to him. It would take Kallia very little to slip a dagger through his ribs from where she was, and there was very little he'd be able to do to stop it. But on the same token, he could just as easily have a dagger hidden in his bracer and could cut her jugular with very little chance of resistance.

Kallia might not be aware of the dangers of the position as she walked side-by-side with the assassin, but Leliana knew beyond a doubt that Zevran was.

She couldn't help the flare of guilt that rose in the pit of her stomach. He had treated her no differently all morning, flirting with her just as much as Kallia. But, as with the night before, though his tone was no different she had the distinct impression that he was still offended by the way she had treated him. There was just something in his eyes that she couldn't quite put her finger on.

When she thought about it, her reaction had been wholly unjustified.

While it was clear that Zevran was not particularly picky about his partners, he had been just as clear about how he would never take anything that wasn't given freely. He might continue to tease, weedle, and shamelessly flirt but a simple _No_ would always be enough to turn him away.

By implying otherwise, she had (even if it was unintentional) all but called him a monster.

.oO***Oo.

Alistair glared at the assassin, whose arm was currently looped over Kallia's shoulders in a much too friendly gesture. The assassin was _clinging_ to her, holding her in place, practically groping her. Alistair crossed his arms over his chest and grumped at the unfairness of it all.

_He_ was Kallia's… Well, he wasn't entirely what he was but she was _his_ none-the-less. Not Zevran's.

"No matter how loud you huff and puff, she's not going to realize what you're upset about unless you tell her," Leliana laughed slightly as she joined him.

"I do not huff and puff," Alistair sulked, letting off a quiet burst of air that was absolutely _not_ a huff or a puff. The look Leliana sent him said she wasn't convinced and Alistair's glare at Zevran darkened because that was, somehow, entirely the assassin's fault as well. "What do women see in a man like that anyway?"

"Oh I don't know, he's handsome enough," she answered, her own gaze sliding to the elf. Alistair didn't notice the guilt flash over her face before it was quickly squashed and her gaze slid back to the Templar as she allowed a sly smile to grace her face. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason," the man answered crossly, letting off another _not_-huff. "It just seems a bit much, doesn't it? The hair… The clothing…"

Leliana let off a loud laugh, "The hair and clothing? Alistair… He only owns two rather plain tunics and a pair of trousers. I'd hardly call that a bit much! If anything he could probably use a spare pair of trousers," she giggled.

"Well… he still spends too much time on his hair," he groused.

"Do you have a problem with him?" the bard wondered, her eyes lighting with amusement that said she knew _exactly_ what his problem was.

"Beyond the fact that he's an assassin who tried to kill us? No, not really."

Leliana gave him a withering glare. "Alistair…" she scolded, disappointment dripping from her tone.

"Sorry. Right. The deadly assassin is our friend. The deadly assassin is our friend. The deadly…" he trailed off at another glare from her. "Mangy wouldn't let him be so friendly with her," he muttered under his breath petulantly.

.oO***Oo.

The friendly silence between Kallia and Zevran spanned only a few moments before she caught the look Leliana was sending them (or more accurately, sending Zevran while he steadfastly ignored it).

"You're being particularly affectionate today," she commented lightly.

"Of course, my precious Moonflower!" The assassin's eyes slid to her, hiding his surprise that she had noticed slipping his arm over shoulder. "I saw this morning how close you and your Templar are becoming and I have renewed my efforts to steal you away from him by winning your affection!"

Kallia hummed noncommittally and allowed her gaze to return to the path in front of them as she nonchalantly replied, "Oh, I see. So it would have absolutely _nothing_ to do with the guilt-ridden looks Leliana keeps sending you?" She felt him tense beside her.

"And how do you know it is guilt that mars the face of our fair Orlesian beauty, my dear Warden?" he dodged.

Her tone was heavy as she answered him, "There are some things even mages and Templars cannot help but feel guilty for. When a child is lost to a demon, there is a sense of failure for everyone in the Tower. It doesn't last long but I've seen it enough, even I can recognize it."

"Do you lose many children in the Tower?" Zevran wondered.

"More than many of us care to think about," she shrugged.

"We lose many recruits among the Crows as well. In fact, the Shadow of the Dead ritual, the one that you take to graduate from being an apprentice, is one of the most deadly. Thirteen enter, only one leaves. From what I understand your Harrowing ritual has much the same odds."

"I wouldn't know the odds," she answered, shrugging off his knowledge of supposedly secret workings within the Tower. She was used to it by now. "I doubt anyone has ever bothered to calculate them, it makes no difference as to whether the ritual is performed or not."

"Your easy acceptance of death always startles me, my Warden," he told her.

"And your inability to dodge questions always astounds _me_." Amusement filled her tone, but the assassin arched an eyebrow as it slowly faded to a thoughtful frown.

"You seem confused by something, my Warden," Zevran commented after watching her brow crease.

The mage sighed. "If you were a mage or a mageling, I would scold you. Holding onto hurt is dangerous. It can only lead to disaster…" She trailed off as her frown deepened. "But since you are not…" she made a tiny frustrated noise in the back of her throat but her words gave Zevran pause.

"It can be just as dangerous, my Warden, though for entirely different reasons," he told her quietly. The response didn't seem to help her own internal debate, but Zevran's mind was elsewhere as he considered her words so he barely noticed when she slipped from under his arm to return to the side of her (currently very jealous looking) Templar.

He turned his gaze to the bard and considered. Then, as amber met sky-blue, he smirked and called out, "My fair Leliana!" Relief flooded her gaze. "I have the sudden, intense desire to return to the womb... Could you assist me with this?"

Her mouth fell open in surprise before her cheeks flushed so pleasantly. "Zevran!" she shrieked indignantly but could not keep the smile off her face just the same.

She was forgiven.

.oO***Oo.

_For the record… Writing Mangy sections are quite fun but also rather difficult. I have to come up with a way for Mangy to refer to things in his own way while keeping it clear as to what he's referring to. If anything wasn't clear, let me know so I can fix it. _


	72. Breast Snuggling For Retribution

_Happy Non-Denominational Wintertime Gift-Giving Season everyone! (hehehe)_

_I know, I know this chapter has taken forever. Life has gotten kinda hectic lately. To make up for it, it's a bit of a long one and you'll get 73 very soon (it's already written, just needs to be betaed) and 74 seems to be coming along much easier. _

_As long as you guys and Eva keep bugging me it should get written quick enough :)_

_Thank you to Kexia, Kira Kyuu, kk, and swinglifeaway77 for reviewing during my (rather prolonged) absence ;) And of course, thanks to Evalyne for betaing. _

_I've celebrated Yule with my Temple and this weekend I shall celebrate Christmas Eve with Chris's family and Christmas with mine (minus my brother who can't get off work). It'll be bitter-sweet because this will be our first year without Grandpa but Nanny has passed his Sausage Roll recipe to me because she just used up the last batch of what he made before he died. I'm planning on making them this weekend, but I need to buy some HP sauce (it's like A1 but thicker and a lot better… people always ask) and I'm almost dreading facing the grocery store. (When I say __**almost**__, I mean __**am**__**very much so, oh please dear lord don't make me go there**__.)_

_I hope everyone has (or has already had) a good Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Yuletide, Solstice, Saturnalia, Festivus or whatever you might celebrate and I will try to gift you with another chapter very soon._

.oO***Oo.

Morrigan watched the dog warily from the corner of her eye. She could feel the magic emanating from the package he had stolen from Wynne and she was curious to know what it was that the dog would do so. It was certainly powerful, of that she had no doubt, but even so… She was not fool enough to try to take it from a creature that could likely rip her arm from her socket as easily as he could blink.

She was quite happy when he very suddenly lost interest in the package and ran for the door, pawing and scraping. He let off a desperate whimper and she opened it for him. The creature bolted from the room so quickly he nearly knocked Wynne (who was walking past at the time) over.

The elder mage glared at the witch but Morrigan merely smiled smugly back. " 'Twould appear he was in my room after all."

.oO***Oo.

A loud howl from the distance had the whole party freezing in their tracks.

"That was a mabari," Alistair commented with a frown, but Kallia was already running in the direction the call had come from. "Maker's Breath," he muttered under his breath before yelling her name in a tone that very much demanded she _get back here now. _When she didn't turn back he began to run after her, barely registering the footsteps of Leliana and Zevran following behind him.

"It's Mangy!" Kallia called back to him, hoping to soothe his worries.

But he gritted his teeth. Of course she would assume that. "Just because it's a mabari doesn't mean it's Mangy!" he called back.

.oO***Oo.

The wind carried his elf's scent back to him and Mangy threw back his head in a loud howl of excitement. She was close, so close. Close enough he could hear Magic Knight yelling at her to slow down, could hear the clanging of his armor and the breaking of twigs under his feet. He leapt over a bush and there she was. She skidded to a halt in the middle of the path he'd just jumped onto.

Magic Knight's arm rose, reaching for his sword, but the action was stilled as Kallia dropped to her knees. One sniff of the mixture scents coming off his elf had Mangy emitting an annoyed huff. The metallic scent of blood was relatively old but was much stronger on her clothes that it had been the last time he'd seen her. He'd known she'd been injured because of the bond they shared, but at the physical proof of it Mangy turned glaring eyes to Magic Knight.

He had entrusted his elf to the human who had obviously been doing a poor job of taking care of her.

Mangy pulled himself from the elf's grasp and began circling her. Sniffing and circling her. Cataloguing every new injury and planning to extract retribution for each one. Since he couldn't take it out on the people who had hurt her, he'd just have to take it out on the one who failed to protect her.

Not to mention the human's scent seemed to cling to her very skin and that was in no way, shape, or form acceptable. With that thought in his mind, he began rubbing his face all over his elf, trying to scrub away the scent and replace it with his own.

Magic Knight made a strangled choking noise as Mangy's face passed over the soft region of chest, so it was with great satisfaction that he continued to press his muzzle there.

.oO***Oo.

Kallia fell to her knees, throwing her arms around him as he panted and barked a greeting. Alistair couldn't help but wince a bit; the mage had skidded a good distance and had no doubt scraped her knees up but if the joyful laugh that filled the air was anything to judge by, she hadn't even noticed.

The hound circled her several times, snuffling and sniffing. He angrily huffed over the newly repaired sections of the mages robes, going so far as to send a few glares Alistair's way where he stood with the two rogues on either side of him.

The Templar glared right back.

Though he flushed lightly and looked away when, once apparently satisfied Kallia was alive and well, the marbari buried his head in her chest and (what could only be described as) _snuggled _her_ breasts_. The young elf continued to rub the dog's neck in a comforting motion.

As though _snuggling her breasts_ was not only a common occurrence but perfectly acceptable in public. Even though it wasn't. Alistair was sure _snuggling breasts_ was something that should definitely be reserved for indoors. Even better, reserved to the bedroom. When no one was around within a mile radius. Five miles would be best.

Or at the very least in a tent where the companions that were right outside could be ignored.

Alistair directed a glare at Zevran, who he decided was paying far too much attention to the snuggling of Kallia's breasts.

The assassin simply looked smug for a moment before leaning forward to talk to his fellow rogue. "Hmm, that looks to be a quite comfortable position. I have a mind to join them but I fear there is not enough room for me to join Mangy. Might I rest my head on your voluptuous bosom instead so I may enjoy the celebratory activity as well?"

The bard crossed her arms over her as though the assassin had suddenly developed the ability to see through armor. "I think there has been enough fondling for one day, Zevran," she answered.

"Ahh, but you can never have too much fondling, my fair Orlesian Flower," the elf tutted in disappointment. "Since your hound has found us so easily, my moonflower, perhaps we should press on yes?"

.oO***Oo.

"It is rare to find someone who finds something as simple as a rainbow awe-inspiring," Justanna commented from the doorway where she watched Wynne.

The old mage slowly dragged her eyes from the brilliant colors decorating the sky to smile wistfully at the young girl. "You come to appreciate such things when you are denied them." Wynne returned her eyes to the scene before her and from the corner of her eye she saw the serving girl step up next to her.

A comfortable silence reigned for several minutes as the serving girl studied the clear sky and the quickly gathering clouds. She finally sighed and shook her head. "I cannot begin to imagine what that would be like, being denied the beauty of nature like that. I'm afraid I cannot see it as you do," she said sadly, wishing she could see the world through the eyes of the mage beside her.

Wynne's eyes crinkled with her amusement. "My dear, it is something that only time and age can bring you. Now, is there a reason you came to find me?"

"Oh!" Justanna's face lit with remembrance. "I'm to tell you lunch is served. A nice warm stew to fight off the chill of the weather. I…" she seemed to hesitate. Her eyes fell on a distance figure thigh deep in the freezing water. He was hunched over, continually going under the water in his search for Asala. "Would your friend like some, do you think?"

Wynne's concerned gaze landed on Sten just as the giant launched into a fit of sneezing.

"It's just," the girl continued, "I don't think I've seen him eat all the time you've been here. "

" 'Tis it not the job of a healer to ensure those under their care not overexert themselves?"

Wynne turned away from the stubborn giant in the lake's icy waters to look at Morrigan. The witch looked smug standing under the inn's awning baring just as much bare flesh as she normally did. Wynne saw the disdain flickering in her eyes as she took in the heavy woolen cloak Wynne wore to keep herself warm.

" 'Twould seem you are not doing a very good job of it," the witch added.

"If the patient will not listen to the healer then there is little the healer can do," she retorted. "I am a healer, not his mother."

"The Warden would be able to persuade him and she is no healer."

"Be that as it may," Wynne replied calmly, "Kallia is not here to do so."

" 'Tis that not her?" Morrigan asked, waving her hand vaguely at a group of people approaching the inn.

The mage spun around see Kallia's group coming down the steep hill towards the inn and relief flooded her to see them all unharmed and healthy.

.oO***Oo.

Kallia pursed her lips at the distant giant. "Oh, he'll come," she told Wynne with just a hint of a threat tingeing her tone. The young elf then marched off down to the shore and straight into the ice-cold water with barely a flinch. Alistair made a strangled noise and made to follow, but the elder mage saw Leliana grab his wrist from the corner of her eye.

"She can't _swim_," he protested, but the rogue made a few comforting noises and kept a tight grasp on him.

"Do not worry, my dear Templar, the qunari will not let anything happen to her," Zevran added for good measure but his eyes were sharp and his posture tense. She could see him calculating the distance and exactly how long it would take him to get to the water. Something had changed in all of their relationships. All four were closer than they were before.

Wynne eyed the three thoughtfully before returning her full attention to the elf in the water. She would think on that later. For now, Sten was her concern.

The giant had paused his searching on Kallia's approach, standing to his full height but not moving any closer to the shore. Once she reached him, the freezing waters that swirled around his thighs easily reaching the base of where her ribs would be, though she seemed to find a rock or something to stand on bringing the water to her waist and leaving a band of darkened, wet fabric clinging to her torso just above the water line.

Wynne could not hear what was said. The elder mage only knew that when Kallia stood there, with her hands on her hips and a cross look to her face, that the young elf suddenly reminded her of the farmer's wife who'd taken Wynne herself in all those years ago. The look on Kallia's face was the dangerous ire of a mother.

The kind that promised no harm but was all-too threatening none the less.

Kallia's hand suddenly darted upwards towards the side of Sten's head, but he easily caught her wrist before it reached his ear. A few more words were exchanged before Kallia turned and pointed at the inn with her free hand. The giant seemed to glare at the building as though it had wronged him in some way before releasing her wrist, saying one final thing to her, and making his way towards the rest of their companions. Kallia stood in the freezing water for several more seconds, her arms crossed over her chest, before she seemed to deflate and follow him.

Sten walked straight past the rest of them and through the door to the inn. Kallia followed and it was not lost on the elder mage how the young Templar's eyes roved over the fabric of the young mage's water-soaked robes as they clung to her hips or how his hands reached for hers (albeit hesitantly, as though he wasn't entirely sure how the action would be received) once she was in range. Wynne pursed her lips and resolved to have a conversation with Kallia later as the young mage returned his grip.

She seemed to misunderstand Wynne's questioning look and told them, "He agreed to humor me and my _foolish notions of health_," before releasing the Templar and walking through the door to the inn.

"Alistair," Wynne called stopping the Templar from following after their leader.

He glanced at the door before turning his attention to her. "Yes?" he was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet to go after Kallia, Wynne could see.

"I have a small favor to ask of you," she told him. Curiosity lit his eyes as he followed her off to the side of the inn, giving the door once last fleeting look before turning to whatever task she had set for him.


	73. Fire and Magic

_Hehe I promised it to you soon but it took longer than expected to get through betaing. This was not helped by the fact that Eva wasn't on the computer much last Friday and I wasn't on much last Monday._

_Also, I've added a chapter to the story Nebula. I had meant to upload it a while ago but I'm afraid it got pushed to the back-burners and completely forgotten. It covers when Kallia and Jowan first met Amell. I should think you'll enjoy it :)_

.oO***Oo.

The rain pattered on Alistair's bare back as he hammered at the woodshed. _This is what being a Warden is about_, he thought to himself as the rhythmic sound of hammer hitting nail filled the air. _In the end it's all about helping people... even if it's with a hammer instead of a sword._

He paused to survey his work with a satisfied smile, even as he wiped rainwater from his eyes. He was more than halfway done; soon these people would be able to have dry firewood once again.

The constant pitter-patter of rain suddenly lessened on his shoulders and back. The Templar glanced up, surprised it would cease so suddenly, but instead of clear sky he saw that a shield of sorts had been erected around the whole shed.

An almost giddy happiness bubbled in his stomach as he looked around for the source of the shield. Now that the magic had drawn his attention, he would recognize the feel of it anywhere. Sure enough, the elven mage stood under the covered awning of the inn. She had turned away from him, her hand reaching for the doorknob.

"Wait!" he called out. Her hand froze where it was, an inch from grasping the knob, and she turned her head to look at him questioningly. But now that he had her attention he found himself unsure of what to say... Only that he had not wanted her to leave just yet. His mouth moved but no sounds came out of it.

Finally, Kallia spoke instead. "I was told you would catch death if you stayed in the rain…" she trailed off, confusion pinching her features. "I'd appreciate it if you'd stop chasing it," she told him.

"I'm not chasing death," he informed her with a chuckle stepping under the awning and grabbing the towel one of the inn workers had set out for him, "It's just a saying."

"Good," Kallia replied, nodding her head distractedly. The distant tone in her voice caught Alistair's attention and he glanced at her to see what was distracting her. The Templar grew concerned when he saw her flushed cheeks and quick breathing. What he failed to note, however, was the way her eyes followed several drops of water as they dripped down his skin.

"You didn't get sick from the rain, did you?" he asked, stepping closer to put the palm of his hand against her forehead.

Kallia blinked several times. "I didn't, but for future reference," she grabbed his hand and turned it so the back rested against her forehead instead of the palm, "This is how you check someone's temperature."

"Oh," the Templar replied, his hand not moving. "You feel pretty warm," he told her with concern.

"You've been out in the cold and I've been in by the fire. Of course I feel warm to you," she chuckled and took the hand on her forehead into both of her own, frowning at its temperature. "You really are rather cold," she muttered, more to herself than him.

"Well, like you said… I've been out in the rain," he told her nervously. The Templar started fidgeting as she stared at his hands with pursed lips. He could see the war going on in her head and his concern instantly grew for his mage. "Kali…?" he asked, stepping closer and raising his free hand to her cheek.

"I…" she hesitated, "I would like to try… something…" The elf took a shaky breath to steady herself, her eyes refusing to meet his own. Alistair's worry grew.

"Something…?" He prompted, trying to get her to continue.

"I don't know if it's ever been tried on someone who wasn't a mage before. I'm fairly certain it's _never_ been tried on a Templar."

"I'm not a Templar," he interrupted sternly but the elf scoffed at him.

"It makes no difference to magic whether you follow their ideals or only use their skills, the effect on the Veil around you is the same," she snorted.

"The… twistedness?" he asked, not knowing what else to call it.

"Yes, the _twistedness_," she chuckled at his word.

"I trust you," he told her without hesitation. "Go ahead and try whatever it is."

Alistair jumped with surprise as warmth flooded up his arms from where their hands were joined. He jerked his hands out of hers and stared at them. His eyes rose to Kallia's. Her jaw was clenched and her head held high with defiance. She was waiting for his rejection.

But Alistair's face just took on a goofy grin. "That was you?" he wondered.

"Yes," she answered him curtly, but he paid no mind. The Templar was focused on his hands as he flexed and unflexed his fingers.

"It's still working. I'm not cold at all," he told her, fascinated. The mage finally began to relax, realizing his reaction had been one of surprise and not of fear. She reached forward and grabbed his hands again. "Why didn't you do this up at the Peak when we were all freezing?" he wondered. Kallia studied his face but found only excited curiosity and childish impatience, there was no accusation in his words. He waited eagerly for her explanation.

"At first I didn't because it never occurred to me. Later it was because I didn't have enough extra mana to keep _myself_ warm, let alone someone else." When he continued to stare at her, waiting for more, she added, "This is something that's typically only needed for children. Apprentices have enough magic in them to keep themselves warm in the mage's libraries and classrooms, which aren't generally heated. There isn't much of a point when the Templars wear so much armor and the mages don't feel the cold anyway."

"Why don't they feel the cold?" he questioned excitedly. "I-I mean I know you said your magic keeps you warm but-"

He was beginning to ramble and, as endearing as she found it when he did so, the quicker Alistair got back to finishing the woodshed the quicker he would be able to go inside where it was warm. "In the Fade, nothing is physical. There is no temperature other than what spells create. As we – mages – grow older, our bodies become more saturated with the Fade and our mana pools larger. That's why we don't start to see the Veil until we're older, that's when we have enough of it in us to let us see it. Since there is no temperature in the Fade, the more of it we have in us, the less it affects us. The older we become, the more mana we have, the more resilient we are to extreme temperatures."

"But Wynne's old," Alistair pointed out. Kallia cocked an eyebrow questioningly. "She's been freezing since we got here."

"I…" Kallia frowned, seeming to hesitate. She glanced back at the doorway to the inn as though it might suddenly become see-through and allow her to see the elder mage. "I can't explain it. It's like her extra mana is being used for something else… but I have no idea what it could be." The young elf's frown deepened, "It's there, it's still in her, but it's almost like it's…. otherwise _occupied_."

"What does that mean?" Alistair asked, worry creasing his brow. "Is she alright?"

Kallia's eyes returned to him and she smiled reassuringly seeing his concern. "I'm sure she's fine. Like I said, it's all there. It's just doing something."

A silence passed between them as they did nothing but stare at one another. Alistair cleared his throat and picked back up the hammer, "I should probably get back to work."

"I'll stay," the elf said settling herself comfortably under the awning. "To make sure you don't start chasing death again."

The warrior chuckled, smiling to himself, "If you insist but it'll be rather boring just watching me work."

"I'm sure I can manage," she told him, her eyes roaming the toned muscles of his arms and chest before raising them once more to meet his eyes. The faint blush on his cheeks indicated his had not missed her meaning and it brought a slightly pleased smirk to her face.

.oO***Oo.

_Right, so back in chapter 62, Kira Kyuu asked why Kallia's hand got burned when she heated the vapor mixture for Alistair. It isn't that I've ignored the question until now, but more that this was just where the explanation fit. I hope that this clears up that detail for everyone. _

_If you have any other questions (or if it doesn't seem entirely clear) let me know and I'll see what I can do to fix it or clear it up._


	74. Glass Windows and Firewood

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Both Eva and I have been very busy and this just sat waiting to be betaed and we never managed to get around to it . _

_But I do have good news. _

_Several good newses in fact. _

_(Let's start with the ones you'll probably care about the most, shall we?) As some, or many, or none of you may know… My Beta (Eva) and I have been working on a book, __The Order of the Realm__ (OotR), but as I'm writing it I find I rather miss the input I get on Stars. So here is what I propose… I'm looking for a few(5 or 10, though depending on the response I get I might up it a bit) people who'd like to… not quite beta. I've got a Google Site set up to keep track of the world, religion, important dates and history and the like as well as a few chapters written (pre-betaed and still being worked on, but written nonetheless). I would like some people who would be willing to ask questions, make comments, and just generally discuss the whole lot of it (not just the chapters, but the world and characters as well and maybe where you think things are going) as well as point out any flaws or inconsistencies you happen to notice. Please remember, __**OotR has nothing to do with Dragon Age**__. It's a-whole-nother world created completely from scratch with entirely new characters. Some of which are __**inspired**__ by OCs created in Stars and Abandoned Sanctuary, but all DA references have been completely removed and their pasts and personalities have been reworked to fit with this new world. If you're interested, PM me or leave a comment in a review._

_Good News #2: Yaay I finally opened my Etsy store (wirewitchery . etsy . com)! So if you happen to be a real witch (or pagan or whatever you choose to call yourself) and you like divination you should come check out my pendulums. Or if you just like jewelry, I have some of that too ;) Anyway use the coupon code __**DAFRIENDS10 **__ to receive a 10% discount :)_

_One final thing… So I was apparently a bit of an air-brain. That comment that I said was explained in the last chapter? Yeah, turns out it's explained in this one ._

_Anyway, enjoy!_

.oO***Oo.

Alistair dropped the hammer on the ground next to where Kallia was sitting before falling into place beside her. The fact that he happened to sit close enough their legs and shoulders bumped against each other was _completely_ coincidental. It wasn't even slightly intentional. Except it might have _maybe_ been a little bit intentional on his part. Possibly.

But it wasn't like she was jerking away from the contact… Or even moving away at a slow pace so-

"I don't understand the point of having a house specifically for wood," Kallia commented, bringing him out of his thoughts with a jerk.

"It's to keep the wood dry," he eyed the wood pile stacked nearby sadly. "It's just a shame that their wood is all soaked through," he sighed. "With the weather the way it is, chances are the majority of it will rot before it dries enough to be useable."

"They can always gather more," Kallia said, pointing at the line of trees just beyond the boundary of the small dock-town.

He shook his head, "Green wood smokes too much to be used inside and any dead wood out there will have the same problem as what they already have. It will rot before it dries."

"My fires burn the wood we've gathered without any problem," she answered, but there was a questioning to her tone.

"Yes, but your fires are partially fueled your magic," he answered. "That keeps them hot enough to burn regardless of how wet or green the wood is."

Kallia held up her hand and a small ball of fire appeared in it. The flames in her hand seemed no different than the ones the others had lit manually with flint stones, though admittedly she only had a few seconds to study it before Alistair grabbed her wrist with one hand and tried to pat the fire out with his other. She quickly doused it before it had a chance to burn him.

"Don't do that!" he exclaimed hurriedly, continuing to pat her hand as though the fire might suddenly spring back to life on its own. She eyed him curiously but allowed him to do as he pleased. Finally, the frantic patting slowed and finally his hand settled on hers. He had a distant, pained look on his face as he began stroking her palm with feathered touches. "Last time you did that, you burned yourself…" he whispered.

It was then that she noticed he was tracing the faint outline of the burn scar on her palm. She chuckled lightly and used her free hand to pull his away, relighting the ball in her hand. He fought her grip, once again trying to douse the flames, but at her resistance he ceased fighting and waited for what she had to show him.

"Just as the temperature of the air does not affect me, the temperature of my magic is greatly shielded from me. It will not harm me under normal circumstances," she told him, letting go of his wrist and slowly passing her hand through the fire.

"But it _did_, when Zevran-"

"With the vapor mixture for Zevran I dramatically, and intentionally, increased the amount of heat the fire put off. Even the fact that it was _my_ magic could not protect me from that," she explained to him, dismissing the flame and holding out her hand for him to inspect. He did so but there was no sign of the dangerous element she'd held only seconds before. "I knew burning my hand would be a side effect but I lacked the time or the proper equipment to do it another way."

"Don't do it again," he asked her, once again stroking her palm with a pained expression. "We can get you the proper equipment, but don't do that again."

She smiled at him sadly and brought her free hand up to trace down the side of his face. "I can't promise that," she told him, he looked like he was about to protest but she pressed a finger to his lips and continued. "If I have the time and proper equipment I will use it, but if I need a very hot fire very quickly, like I did when Zevran inhaled that lye, I will not hesitate to use whatever resources I have at my disposal. Even at the cost of injury to myself."

"But-"

"Hush," Kallia interrupted him, raising her hand and chasing it down his cheek. "It's a hypothetical situation that will do no good to consider until it's upon us."

.oO***Oo.

Leliana crouched as she peered out the window in her room. She was delighted to see Kallia and Alistair sitting next to each other, shoulder to shoulder, and conversing happily. A gleeful giggle escaped her throat and she lightly clapped her hands together. The bard pretended not to notice the sound of the door opening behind her as she quietly muttered encouraging words the couple below couldn't hear, though she shifted ever so subtly so that the throwing dagger in her boot was more easily accessible.

"And what is the fair Leliana up to?" Zevran asked from the doorway, amusement filling his tone.

"Up to?" she repeated with mock indignation. "What makes you think I'm _up to _anything? Perhaps I am merely enjoying the scenery."

The elf arched an eyebrow and joined her at the window, looking out at the dreary cliff her window looked out on to but his eyes quickly lowered to the woodshed and the couple sitting beneath the awning. "And such enjoyable scenery it is too," he answered delightedly, settling himself into a chair by the window, "Perhaps I shall join you in your _scenery watching_ then, yes?"

She started shushing him distractedly halfway through his replying banter and pressed her nose to the window. Zevran found himself feeling rather put off at her easy dismissal of him, but he couldn't help but look out the window to see what the two Wardens had done to so easily drawn her attention away from him.

They had moved even closer (no small feat considering how close they had been sitting before) and their faces were merely a hair's breadth apart. From his vantage point he could see the Templar's lips moving as he continued to ramble on. Despite himself, Zevran muttered quietly, "Just shut up and kiss her, you fool."

Judging by the look on the female Warden's face below, she entirely (if unknowingly) agreed.

Both rogues were tense as they waited. Both heard the sound of footsteps walking down the hall but both ignored them in favor of waiting on the two Wardens below. The clearing of a throat behind them triggered them both into action and in the blink of an eye Wynne had two daggers embedded in wall behind her.

"What are you two up to?" she asked them suspiciously.

"Up to?" Zevran repeated, quite happily sauntering up to the elder mage. "Why, Leliana was simply showing me the fine craftsmanship of the glass in these windows. Look at it, it is so clear and smooth. So _glassy_!"

He ran his fingers over the window with the tender care one might give to a lover and seemed to gaze at it longingly for just a moment. In reality, he merely used the chance to check on the two Wardens below and was delighted to see that both were currently enthralled in each other's lips.

"What are you _really_ up to?" the old woman questioned with narrowed eyes.

Zevran gasped. "You wound me so! I have always had a great interest in glass craftsmanship. To suggest otherwise is like a knife straight to my _heart_!"

The elder mage gave the assassin a stern glare and turned her attention to Leliana, who she knew would at least take her seriously. "Dinner is ready and it would be an opportune time to discuss with the Wardens what the plans are while we are all gathered to eat."

"An excellent idea, I'll wash up and come down," the bard nodded in agreement.

"Please don't be long," Wynne nodded and turned to leave, pausing at the door and adding over her shoulder, "And if you happen see Kallia tell her as well… She seems to have disappeared."

"Our dear Warden is probably just admiring the fine grain of the timber near the wood shed," Zevran said offhandedly.

Wynne blinked. Surely she had heard him wrong, "_Wood grain_?"

"Yes," Leliana barely contained a laugh. "She has recently developed a bit of an affinity for firewood."

"Between Zevran's glass and Kallia's firewood, everyone seems to be developing rather odd interests all of a sudden." The woman's eyes darted back and forth between the two rogues before her. She had the distinct feeling there was something she was missing but their expressions had been carefully schooled to appear blank and she lacked enough information to put together the pieces "I will see you downstairs then," she told them slowly and walked out the door, closing it behind her.

Not seconds after the latch clicked, a high-pitched giggle erupted from the room and Wynne pursed her lips. Her eyes fell on the door to her own room with a window that just happened to look out over the same area Leliana's.

As the Senior Enchanter's eyes fell on the two wardens, she clucked her tongue.

"Affinity for firewood, indeed," she muttered to herself.


End file.
